I’m a Wiggles Purist.

by Lori Dwyer on May 7, 2010 · 20 comments

Ahoy there me hearties!

Before we begin, is this not the coolest playgroup craft you have ever seen? Yes? Huge kudos to our awesome playgroup ladies, they rock. I did suggest we save on eyes, and just draw little lines like this – – on Jeff. But apparently, that would come across as racist. Me, being incredible naive, didn’t even think of it that way. I was just thinking, ya know, because he’s got that narcolepsy thing going on. *Insert Lori blushing and feeling like a prize goose here*

Whatever.

The point of this post is, here in the Purple House, we watch a lot of Wiggles, to appease the musical interests of the all-dancing, trying-really-hard-to-be-all-singing Chop. I know those of you with toddlers will understand my pain. If I see that bloody dinosaur and her roses one more freaking time…

But I digress.

I am a Wiggles purist. And I {heart} Greg. Sam just does not cut it for me. Especially when you watch the Greg Wiggle DVD’s, and Sam’s there (with his wife, who is also known to inhabit the Big Green I’m Gonna Scone That Dinosaur suit) in the background as a back up dancer, calling himself Dave and wearing a fake mo’. Swap DVD’s, and all of a sudden Sam’s driving the Big Red Car. Surely the other Wiggles were p*ssed at that? Murray has been cramped in the back seat with Jeff nodding off on his shoulder for a good fifteen years now.

I’m going to take a guess that we are all on the same page with this one. But if anyone wants to disagree, and go in to bat for Sam, please do so. But don’t bother defending Dorothy, because nothing you can say can change my mind. She is tarred with the MS Paint brush as the FlyLady. That dinosaur is evil.

Again, whatever. But while we’re on the topic, there is something I’d like your thoughts on. Now, obviously it is difficult to lust after men wearing skivvies (unless it’s… erm… no… can’t think of an example here). But, if you are in the realm of SAHM-ness like me, some days the Wiggles are the only men I see apart from your husband, and, let’s face it, whilst it’s difficult to ind skivvies attractive, the same can be said for the man who’s dirty socks and undies you wash every day. Which, somehow, leads me to the thought of…

If there were a smokin’ hot Wiggle, which Wiggle would it be?

Greg? (Not now, obviously, back in his hey day, before he stopped dying his hair.).

Anthony? (That’d be my choice, I think).

~~Dave?~~ Sam? (Now with moustache!)

Muray? (He doesn’t always look this dopey. No.. wait… yes, he does.)

Or Jeff? (Erm. Probably not.)

Now, while you think about this one, because I just know what a difficult decision it’s going to be, please enjoy this very early Wiggles clip the Chop and I stumbled across on YouTube. Circa 1993, you will notice the craptastic sets, total lack of branding, and the fact that Anthony is actually the Green Wiggle, wearing a polo shirt. Holy moley. Like I said, enjoy. Just don’t forget to answer the question, OK? OK. (What question? You people have short attention spans!)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UusURqW3Bc]

* * You may have noticed I have not, in fact, given the Wiggles their due and hyper linked to their website. It’s my little protest to the fact that while most it’s free, certain content is subscription based. Ner to you, Wiggles, that’s bad form.**

** Oh, and a very happy FlogYoBlog Friday to y’all. Even Brenda in Shanghai. Be-atch.**
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