Google hates my guts.

by Lori Dwyer on April 23, 2010 · 8 comments

Dear Mr Google,

 I’m not sure what I have done wrong. But it appears that you do not like me very much at the present moment. You have been systematically kicking me off the Follow list of all my favorite blogs. Like Sarah’s, Brenda’s, Kristin’s and Yankee Lori’s.

Why is this? I demand an explanation. I demand satisfaction. Is it because I steal images from your cache? Is it because I use your search engine auto correct skills when I am too lazy to figure out how to spell long word myself? Is it because I ask you stupid questions, like “Does a Southerly wind blow from the North or the South?”.

I suppose it could be any number of those things. Whatever. You hate me. That’s OK. I don’t like you very much either.

The Man and I have a theory about you, Mr Google. One day, a few millenia down the beaten track, you will be worshiped. As. A. God. The Google God. The God of information. Worshiped at strange alters that become bigger and flatter as generations pass.

The Google God is a vengeful God.

Whatever. You still make me cranky, Mr Google. God or no. You, and this bloody baby that has not stopped screaming ALL FREAKING DAY.


Yours in whaddya-mean-that-image-is-copyright-protected?



P.S. Seriously super sorry to anyone who has been kicked of my Follow list, or to anyone who Mr Google has made me de-Follow. Bastard. I think I’ve re-Followed everyone. If I missed you, please let me know. Thanking you berry much.

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

lori April 26, 2010 at 5:09 pm

Maybe it's actually a google GodDESS and she's just jealous of your awesome posts and your awesome life. Well, except for the screaming baby. Hmmm, makes Brenda's solution sound pretty good, eh?


Draft Queen April 24, 2010 at 10:34 am

That explains so much! The fluctuating follower numbers (that totally made me whine to the man)… the disappearance of blogs I followed.

And Dr. Google is killing me.

I love the FSP Google pic you absconded.


Amy xxoo April 24, 2010 at 8:05 am

I just had a mental image of the Google God looking like that huge flying brain in " Futurama "… if anyone else actually watches that show.


Brenda April 24, 2010 at 7:45 am

You have to offer your first-born to The GoogleMeister, Lori. That is the only way. Truth!


lacochran April 24, 2010 at 3:48 am

Google has already ascended. All Hail Google!

Really, hasn't Google done more for you than your run-of-the-mill smiter?


Lulu April 24, 2010 at 2:58 am

Hmmm, maybe I can blame Google God too…although not really. It was me cos I'm some sort of dork. I was trying out new templates and rearranging and completely lost a couple. I wondered why you had stopped rambling…..


Ratz April 24, 2010 at 2:22 am

Bows to the GOOGLE GOD. Well what can we do LORI? Love it and hate it… all the best. I guess we have to live with this. And don't worry you are still following me…


Emmy April 24, 2010 at 12:56 am

Oh so brave to post this for the Google God to see :)

I always use the Google auto correct to figure out how to spell words too :)


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