Internet Dating 106- Why I Hate MasterChef

by Lori Dwyer on November 11, 2011 · 23 comments

I don’t do vegetables, and I don’t eat a lot of meat. I don’t eat Thai, Vietnamese, Spanish, Mexican… the list goes on. Why? Because I just don’t like it. Any of it. Vegetables especially. I was the kid who never ate their veggies and never ‘grew out of it’. I find the taste, texture and smell totally unpalatable. And that’s the end of the story.

Well… not really. And if it were, that would make for a very short and boring blog post.

Anyway. When I was kid, eating veggies- or not eating them, as the case may be, way a constant battle between my parents, my grandmother who cared for me while my parents where working, and stubborn little me, pushing peas around my plate and gagging on nearly cold mashed potato.

My dad used to say to me, half joking, “What are you going to do, when you’re a teenager and some bloke wants to take you out? Make him take you to McDonalds?” 

I’m not sure if the intention was to shame me into eating my vegetables or just shame me in general, but it half worked. This played on my mind when I was a tween, all short but still gangly and achingly insecure. It kept me awake at night, worrying…. what would I do when I was older, and expected to be sophisticated? Being an unpopular nerd with low self esteem, my chances of finding a boyfriend were, as I saw it, slim to none anyway… this was just another deal breaker for Lori.

If I’m honest, until now, it’s never really come up. Dating before I was married was more casual, more pubs and clubs, more ice cream overlooking the harbor. Less three course meals with different wine to compliment each.

Now that I’m thirty, single and have kids, it seems the stakes have been raised.

Nom nom.

It seems that every eligible guy out there has suddenly developed a flair for home cooking. And I don’t mean steaks on the barbeque, or grilled cheese on toast. I mean real food, with names like pate and brie and filet and other things I can’t even pronounce.

I’m blaming MasterChef for this “I’m a good looking, intelligent guy who can cook and that’s sexy” phenomenon. It certainly wasn’t happening six years ago. And it’s downright embarrassing for me. 

Because no, I don’t eat Thai, or capers, or stir fry, or any kind of creamy pasta, or seafood. I try to glaze over the whole thing- “I’m a fussy eater…”- but a big guy in a cravat is screaming “Loser!!” at me in my head.

Add to this the fact that I don’t drink, and especially not wine– it gives me a headache and besides that it tastes foul- leaves most men thinking I’m both childish and kind of strange, and seems to put me on a back foot.

Not that it takes much to put a single mum with two kids under four on the back foot in the dating game… but me and my fussy eating habits certainly don’t help.

post signature

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

Chantelle {fat mum slim} January 24, 2012 at 9:41 am

Is there a post stating what you DO eat? I wanna see it!

My girlfriend is like you. She tried being hypnotised so she'd like vegetables but it didn't work.

She's teeny like you too. x


Heather November 16, 2011 at 8:32 am

You are not alone. I met my husband online (with a 2 year old and a WHOLE lot of baggage) and before we ever met face to face he knew it wasn't just that I didn't eat some things. I didn't eat whole food groups. No chinese, no seafood, no mexican, no Thai, etc. My example to him, I eat like a three year old.

Dispite that, and his HUGE love of cooking things that appeal to the palate of more than just a three year old, we have made it work.

If you find the right guy, he won't care that you are a picky eater.

P.S. I only eat corn, tomatoes (veggie or fruit??) peas, carrots and lettuce. All other vegatables are OUT!!


georgi November 13, 2011 at 11:04 pm

there's no right or wrong way, it's just your life. i know after reading the last post about bodies whispering, my first response to this post was ohh you probably need some vitamins to help your body.

maybe your tiredness is iron levels being low – i speak as someone who always gets low iron. and you were mentioning craving steak..

i just know the feelings you are describing so well.. and since you dont eat vegetables (no judgement here, thats cool by me) id recommend taking a women's multi vitamin if you don't already, because maybe that'ld help you have more energy. you dont even have to take them every day, just when you remember or feel like you need it…

just a suggestion. based on my own experiences. :-)

ps. i really ope i don't sound patronising. do i?


Jane November 12, 2011 at 8:34 am

you are too funny-
seems to me you have gotten this far and grown 2 kids with that body. Who cares what you eat…
And to all the preachy, health minded people who think there is a right way and THEREFORE A WRONG WAY –
GET A LIFE- there are no gold stars on your forehead for this.
It would be a sad place Lori if we were all the same.
Love your work


Annabellz November 12, 2011 at 8:10 am

I don't know… food is more than just sustinance as you reflect on in your post. It's also an act of control, it's a way of expressing oneself (both you and the Masterchef boys) it's a feeling of connection for me many times to people, the past and it is also a connection to the future in the case of sustaining life and keeping an aging body healthy (now at 48 after a few weeks of tests and odd ailiments I'm well aware of how my habits both promote life and how they don't) Food doesn't always promise "love" or "health" but it can. I think you are reflecting and could make some changes but even if you don't you likely know what you are doing. Enjoy your choices and realize they are powerful.


Melissa November 12, 2011 at 8:09 am

Good gravy – I agree that I would like a list of the foods that are acceptable to you.
I know you enjoy chocolate, anything else?? :) :)


MrsB @ crankymonkeys in london November 11, 2011 at 8:49 pm

I'm going to sound like your mother but you need to eat vegetables :)

There's no ifs and buts – they are good for you.


Anonymous November 11, 2011 at 7:34 pm

I know people just like you, Lori, so you're not alone and despite the odds you all seem to survive well.
I just keep wondering what I would do with all my extra time If I didn't need to buy, prepare, cook and eat.
I sometimes feel that the majority of my day is spent in pursuit of some type of food activity.
I'm sure I could save the world if it wasn't for this stupid addiction.
Mrs. C


Eva November 11, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Sorry, that should say "without so many of the foods that you say you AVOID" not "enjoy".


Eva November 11, 2011 at 3:14 pm

I'm 28, and I only started eating eggs and bananas this year, after not having eaten them for at least 15 years. I knew that they were so good for me, so I gave them a try. Turns out I really enjoy bananas now. Eggs were a little harder to adjust to, and I still struggle with them cooked certain ways. But done the way I like, I enjoy them! I guess what I'm saying is that maybe you should try things that you haven't eaten for years, and maybe some of them will be bearable to you now? There's just no way you can have the energy and strength you need without so many of the foods that you say you enjoy. Give something new a go each week – you might surprise yourself :) xo


Jayne November 11, 2011 at 2:21 pm

My daughter (aged 6) is an incredibly fussy eater-she eats rice, bread, chicken, sausages, corn, some types of yoghurt, rice crackers, plain potato chips, chocolate, and drinks milk, water & apple juice. I imagine one day she'll write a blog post like this (if blogs are still around by then!)

Some people are just not into food. Or wine (my waistline wishes I wasn't!)That's ok. I cannot stand people taking on a preachy, judgemental attitude regarding my daughter-as if her eating predilections are a reflection on my (clearly) terrible parenting.

Screw them. Eat what you like and how. Dating is enough of a minefield as it is as a single mum-I speak from experience x


Jess@Diary of a SAHM November 11, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Lori you are my hero! I am the worlds fussiest eater. Seriously. I don't go to people's house for dinner, cause I don't eat. I make them come here instead!

Veggies are gross, I only ever serve them when I can smother them in some kind of sauce as a (kind of) good example to the kids.
It is so embarrassing. I really hate it. And I get people asking me all the time 'what do you eat?' Can we just get a pizza and get oer it please?


Samantha Mawdsley November 11, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Yeah, I get this. I'm the same. My ex worked in Seafood and everyone said how lucky I was. I HATE seafood and it made me gag to smell it on him.
My boyfriend now makes fun of me because when we've both read the menu, he tries to guess what I want. And it's usually on the kids' menu. He's learned the tricks I have, to look for an age limit on the kids' menu. It's pretty cute actually! :)


Carly Findlay November 11, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Wow! What do you eat? I am wondering, from what you wrote in your quit smoking post (the one before this one) how you maintain a healthy body andind, and how you encourage good eating habits in your kids. Sorry if that sounded preachy.
I think good food is so important For good health. Maybe while making the change to a smoke free life, you may introduce healthier food into your diet?

I can imagine food differences makes dating difficult – maybe choose some dating options that don't involve food or drink?

And on a side note – I love food so very much! My parents made me eat everything they gave me, and as a result, I want to Try everything tHats on offer. When I dine out, the most difficult thing is dining with picky eaters.


Oldie November 11, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Everyone else has asked the main question of what do you eat?

So I want to ask, how do you keep your body and mind working in a healthy way if you do not provide it energy-filled, live foods?

Oh.. and your tastes will change as you age.. so you will find yourself eating the same things you never liked as a kid or young adult.

An ancient Druid saying, "Never name the well you won't drink from, one day you will have to."

Be well Sister



Miss Pink November 11, 2011 at 12:04 pm

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with a nice pub cooked meal.
Why can't we stick to that food?

Actually, I don't eat steak, so it's usually awkward for me to have to explain to people I don't eat what surely everyone eats. No I don't.
I also don't eat a stack of vegetables like onion, capsicum, basically anything crunchy and bitter. Yuck.

I think they need to do an inspiring show about cleaning. Maybe that will make men want to clean? At least up after their own mess. Masterclean. Yep, that sounds better to me.


pinktutu72 November 11, 2011 at 11:14 am

I don't like alcohol either, we have a lot of alcoholics in the family but thats not why I don't drink I simply don't like the taste. And you're a grown ass woman you can eat whatever the F you like!


In Real Life November 11, 2011 at 10:53 am

I can totally relate! I am a "picky" eater too. I like plain food. I don't like strong spices or flavours, or sea food, or a lot of vegetables, or most meat, or beans, etc. One of my favourite meals is peanut butter toast and tea with a banana on the side! :)


Anonymous November 11, 2011 at 10:10 am

I know exactly where you're coming from! I share all of your dislikes and could add countless other items to a list of foods that don't appeal to me. I've always been referred to as a "picky" eater and it's always said with disdain. As if not liking all types of food is a choice I make. I would LOVE to look at a menu and be tempted by every option. It's neither fun, nor easy, to be offered or served things that I know I don't like.

Rather than seeing myself as fussy, I choose to believe that I merely have a discerning palate. :) I like plain, simple food (I'd probably be called "a meat and potatoes man" if I weren't a woman) — no herbs, spices or glop added, thank you very much. I appreciate the basics and want no embellishment.

When my husband and I are in a restaurant for the first time, he always says, "I hope you can find something here that you'll like". He gets it. He cares about me and accepts that my taste buds have limitations.

Don't be so tough on yourself, Lori. When the right guy comes into your life, he'll love you no matter your food preferences. There's no need to apologize for being you!


OurGangof7 November 11, 2011 at 10:01 am

I'm wondering the same lol,,,what do you eat???

But seriously, I know what you mean, I have a nephew who is almost 24 and he basically lives on chicken nuggets, chicken schnitzel and chips, I kid you not. He doesn't do vegetables or anything fancy either,,,,,lol pity you don't live in SA, I could have set you up, it could have been a match made in heaven!! He has trouble dating for that reason too, so at least you know you aren't alone!


Steph(anie) November 11, 2011 at 9:38 am

I too wonder what you do eat :)

But as far as being judged by others based on what you don't eat or drink, I say F*CK THAT.

People judge other people's lifestyles and choices entirely too much in my opinion. It's your body. Your sense of taste/smell/etc. doesn't matter what other people like.


Anonymous November 11, 2011 at 8:59 am

Yes, exactly what I was wondering! Can we please have a list of 'Things Lori eats'?


Anonymous November 11, 2011 at 8:34 am

Oh dear God, what DO you eat than???


Previous post:

Next post: