by Lori Dwyer on July 4, 2011 · 33 comments

When I was very young, just five years old, in my first year of school, I decided at one point that I wanted to be a big girl, and catch the bus with the other big kids.

Which was fine, of course, in my safe small town. But walking to the bus stop came down to two choices- the long way, right round the main street of my tiny, four street ‘suburb’ at the edge of a lake in Paradise, with a back pack almost as big as I was, ponytails bouncing on either side of head, socks pulled up to scabby knees..

Or it meant walking the back way, down a side street that I hardly ever went down, never walked down, never rode my bike down. Because it was so big and quiet, and most of the houses belonged to holiday makers, so they were empty and seemed to stare at me with their reflective glassy eyes.

I don’t remember how it happened, I guess you never do when you’re that young, friendships just form like flour and water into glue. But two older boys, twins, they lived down the street from me. And every afternoon, they would walk me through that scary back street, and drop me at my front door.

One of them, one afternoon, he snuck me into the backyard of the house closest to the bust stop, and showed me what seemed to be an ocean of a cabbage patch, filled with broad green leaves.

And on those leaves were tiny, shiny ladybugs, red specks whose tiny legs tickled my fingertips, and this boy showed me how to pick them, lift them up without squashing them.

I know him again, now I’m back in Paradise. He left for a while, and now he’s back here too.

It feels like I’ve known him for years. I guess, in a way, I have.

And he still makes me feel safe.

I think I trust him enough to hold my hand, every now and then, while I walk through the scary bits.

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{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }

Andrea July 19, 2011 at 8:32 pm

yay for people with the gentlness in their soul to show you a cabbage patch full of lady bugs


Toushka Lee July 7, 2011 at 4:16 pm

awwww. I like this. where is the like button?


theKatieKitten July 6, 2011 at 10:17 pm

Well, you know you have my blessings. The twin is a gentleman.

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. – Joseph Addison


Just Jennifer July 6, 2011 at 5:04 am

Awwww! So nice!


Jennifer July 6, 2011 at 3:36 am

Your blog often brings me to tears, but today my eyes are shedding happy tears for you. What a beautiful story. I'm glad for you to have some happiness, safety, and peace with an old friend.


Kate July 5, 2011 at 9:48 pm

Oh Lori, beautifully written and I'm so very happy you have a strong hand to hold. xox


Tara @ Mum-ments July 5, 2011 at 8:25 pm

Oh hun.. That is simply beautiful a held hand can give us so much strength hold on when you need to hun theres no shame in that


Sophie July 5, 2011 at 8:23 pm
Hear Mum Roar July 5, 2011 at 1:18 pm

That is wonderful news! Enjoy a new connection


Lil July 5, 2011 at 8:12 pm

Wow, this gives me the warm and fuzzys and im smiling for you, safe is good Lori, even if only for a little while. xxx


Sarah July 5, 2011 at 8:14 am

I love that Mr LadyBugs is there to help you feel safe :)


Sandy July 5, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Sounds like a little piece from a fairytale :)
Maybe paradise really is just that. And, maybe all you've had to go through, as horrible as it is, was to get you to this very point.

Hold hands.. :) The connection is definitely good for you.



In Real Life July 5, 2011 at 12:25 am

That's so nice! :) What a lovely story.


Mum on the Run July 4, 2011 at 11:25 pm

Oooh, safe is good. So good.


OurGangof7 July 5, 2011 at 9:11 am

Oh that is a beautiful post and I am smiling having read the last couple of paragraphs.
I am so happy for you. I hope he can bring a smile to your children's faces as well and that, even if it never progresses past this point, at least he is a person that the 3 of you can trust and feel safe with. Special friends are hard to find, hold on tight to this one!


Melissa July 4, 2011 at 11:02 pm

Yay :) You grab that bit of safety and comfort and don't let go :)
PS you are beautiful – love the new 'do.


Salamander July 4, 2011 at 10:50 pm

What a beautiful, beautiful post, Lori. I can picture you so clearly, walking that scary street with your five year old feet. And I am completely delighted you have found this man, this old friend, who is a safe haven. Best news I've heard today xxx


A Daft Scots Lass July 4, 2011 at 9:05 pm

And how eloquently you put it!

I'm thrilled to bits. Beaming a smile that if I didn't have ears it would go ALL the way around my head.

I don't think I could even ride a bike when I was 5.


Suz @ Segovia and The I Love You Song July 4, 2011 at 8:57 pm

My heart just sang a little song knowing that you have someone around who can bring a little safety to your world xxxx


Bean’s Mummy July 4, 2011 at 8:56 pm

I have only very recently stumbled across your blog and my heart has been aching for you and your children…you are never far from my thoughts and hopes. I am overwhelmed with joy to read today's post. You absolutely deserve this safe, beautiful, shiny, somewhat comfortable and NEW realm of experiences. I wish you, Chop and the Bump so much love and kindness Lori.


Amy xxoo July 4, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Its nice to have a safety net sometimes, whomever it may be. I'm glad you've found one Lori – it might give you someplace to fall, if and when you need to….


Helena July 4, 2011 at 6:55 pm

very cute :)


Glowless @ Where’s My Glow July 4, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Safe is nice. I hope he has big strong man hands :)


Jocelyn July 4, 2011 at 4:34 pm

What a wonderful memory :) beautiful post xo


River July 4, 2011 at 3:38 pm

This is sweet Lori. Old memories and friendships renewed. I'm glad you feel safe.


Kimmie July 4, 2011 at 3:16 pm

The Universe places ppl in our lives for a reason, season or lifetime I believe. I have a really good feeling about this. Makes me smile on the inside :]


Melissa July 4, 2011 at 2:58 pm

This is one of the reasons I was so glad you went 'home'. I didn't want you to be so alone. But away, for a while, from the people you were surrounded by.

But in Paradise, you get to renew oldl connections. People who knew you "before". I'm glad he makes you feel safe.


Dorothy July 4, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Nice to find someone safe…. And ladybugs…


Watercolor July 4, 2011 at 1:46 pm

:-) Awesome.


Miss Pink July 4, 2011 at 12:49 pm

I love this. I love that you have this person, this someone. A safe place.


Lynda Halliger-Otvos July 4, 2011 at 12:44 pm

How wonderful for you to have someone with whom you feel safe and familiar close by your new home village. Is he good with the kids too, I hope…

Grab each bit of happiness as it comes by.


Crystal Cheverie July 4, 2011 at 9:46 pm

Awww, sweet! I'm happy for you, Lori. It's always nice, reconnecting with childhood friends… ;-)


Mary July 4, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Oh Lori. You so deserve to feel safe.


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