by Lori Dwyer on August 28, 2013 · 12 comments

The last few days have passed in a blur of chaotic confusion and emotion. All of us– my kids, myself, The Most Amazing Man In The Universe– are slightly discombobulated and worn out.

Moving houses, moving states… it’s exhausting.

My mate The Bear moves us again, bless his huge, bursting heart. Bunny and The Bear and I pack the truck late on Friday afternoon. I sedate the cat, strap the bird cage into the car, and say goodbye to the TinyTrainHouse.

I don’t look back. The Bear gave me that advice when I left the Purple House, and I’ve kept it close and used it often. Very few good things come from looking back at where you’re leaving, especially if it hurts to leave.

Auntie Mickey does the eight hour drive to Melbourne with me. We arrive at five am on Saturday morning to surprise The Most Amazing Man, who thinks we’re coming Saturday afternoon. Still half asleep, he wraps me up in his arms, and it’s like time stops for a minute and it’s just me and him. The world rights itself for a second and everything is always going to be fine.

My mum has flown down with my children, and she spends her two hours in the New House madly helping me unpack. I sob when she leaves, my heart breaking a little.

I will miss her so much.

Auntie Mickey stays until Monday, and when she leaves my heart breaks again. I walk around the house for the next few hours with my breath hitching and peaking in frenzied panic attacks. I can’t stop crying and my mind repeats a stupid story to me; one that says I’m going to be alone and lonely, alone and lonely.

I takes a bit to sink in that I’m not lonely, and I’m certainly not alone. It’s taken until writing this down to realise that what I’m feeling is just an echo of what I’ve felt before. It’s not real. I’ve moved again, and my brain confuses that strange inertia of a new location with the horror of trauma and grieving.

I have to keep reminding myself I’m allowed to be happy. That The Most Amazing Man In The Universe is not leaving us any time soon. That he’s not going anywhere.

I have to keep reminding myself, over and over. It’s all going to be okay.

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

PlanningQueen August 30, 2013 at 10:25 am

Welcome! All the best settling in Lori, x


Dorothy August 29, 2013 at 4:45 pm

Moving is so stressful and there are so many other factors at play here for you, new state, new man, no family support. Of course you feel it. Be kind to yourself.
Dorothy recently posted…The Coughing Sickness and a TalkMy Profile


Domestic Goddesque August 29, 2013 at 4:17 pm

I think it’s the post-event blues: there’s so much emotions, so much planning, so much thinking involved with moving, especially such a large one, that when it’s over, when you are in and the doors are closed and the people have left, it’s perfectly natural to cry.

That’s what I keep telling myself when I cry, anyway!
Domestic Goddesque recently posted…Moving onMy Profile


Emma Joyce August 29, 2013 at 12:57 pm

Its soooo going to be ok Lori ! Huge congratulations and wishing you and your kids and THAT amazing man all the happiness in the world! xx


mich August 29, 2013 at 11:23 am


Now that you’re a Victorian, go and eat some yummy hot jam donuts!
(can’t get them here in Perth, I had a friend that was flying over for a visit, she bought me a dozen with her)


Whoa, Molly! August 29, 2013 at 8:52 am

I’m so glad the hardest, most draining part is over. Relax and enjoy things from now. You do deserve all the happiness in the world.

Whoa, Molly! recently posted…The Cultural Wasteland and Why I Came Back To ItMy Profile


Bronnie August 28, 2013 at 11:59 pm

Oh sweetheart. Doesn’t moving suck? I hate it. But you are there now, and, as you say, you are not alone. Hope you and the kids settle in well. x
Bronnie recently posted…And the beat goes onMy Profile


Louisa August 28, 2013 at 9:06 pm

So much love to you! I moved to Melbourne 11 years ago and I remember those initial feelings – how much I missed my family and the comfort that history brings with it. I have grown to love Melbourne and it is my home now – I do hope you find happiness here. Would love to buy you a coffee sometime. xx


Spagsy August 28, 2013 at 9:03 pm

Lori. It’s scary to move, especially moving for love. At least it was for me. But good things happen to good people. And you are a good egg.

Welcome to Melbourne.


Kassey August 28, 2013 at 8:50 pm

Wow. That feeling. It’s ok. You’ll be okay. Welcome to Melbourne! We’re putting on a show of good weather for you. Enjoy.


Rosie August 28, 2013 at 7:49 pm

Oh girl – be really happy. You have waited so long.


Lori Dwyer August 28, 2013 at 8:37 pm

Thanks Rosie xx
Lori Dwyer recently posted…Moved.My Profile


Previous post:

Next post: