My New Super Power- the Ability to Look Into Other’s Minds and See What The Hell They Were Thinking.

by Lori Dwyer on February 5, 2010 · 9 comments

Howdy doody blogoroonies,

Well, I’m always up for a challenge. And in the light of the Blog This challenge (see my groovy little button over there on the right), I’ve been giving some serious consideration to what my super power would be, should I have the power to choose (not that that ever happens- aren’t most super heroes just the result of horrible mutations caused by freak accidents?)

I’ve decided that it’s not enough to simply choose a super power- I have to have a whole super persona. And her name is Super What The Hell Were You Thinking Women, my protector and avenger, with the ability to see straight straight through other people’s stupidity and ascertain what, exactly, they were thinking when they tried to cut you off doing 110 clicks an hour on the M5.

Useless, you may say. But just imagine the possibilities. Your best mate confesses she just spent $600 on a new dress that needs dry cleaning, is the height of fashion (so she’ll only be able to wear for the next three minutes anyway), and makes her bum look big. And you don’t have to say a thing. In teleports (because let’s face it, teleportation is cool) Super What The Hell Where You Thinking Women. Grabs offending garment, flings it out the nearest window, screeches “What the hell where you thinking, woman?” and departs. You and your best mate stand looking gobsmacked at the rainbow shimmer teleport shadow she has left behind (also very cool). Your best mate says “What the hell was that?”. You reply with “I have no freaking idea, but she does have a point…”

Another scenario, if you please. Of course, this one is completely hypothetical. You’re in heavy, fast labour with your second child. Your husband has taken a whole hour and 3 minutes to get home to you (not that anyone’s counting, or waiting with baited breath, or anything like that). And then, out the way out the car, he decides that now is a good time to bring in the bins that have been sitting on the curb for the last 48 hours. You’re prone, mid contraction, and can only glare at him.

**Cue dramatic voice over** “This sounds like a job for Super What the Hell Are You Thinking Woman!!” And in she teleports, sizes up your husband, screeches “What the Hell Are You Thinking, Woman?” (great catchphrase- might need a bit of tweaking), and bitch slaps him upside the head. Great work, SWTHAYTW.

Thousands of practical applications, with minimal fuss and embarrassment cause to her alter ego. Is this where I mention I’m a non-confrontational kind of chick?

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post partum doula June 25, 2013 at 11:56 am

Wow that was strange. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing
all that over again. Regardless, just wanted to say
fantastic blog!
post partum doula recently posted…post partum doulaMy Profile


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Quixotic February 11, 2010 at 10:35 pm

Love it!! She definitely has a calling… the world will never run out of stupid decisions and people who need bitch-slapping!


Kellyansapansa February 7, 2010 at 6:23 pm

Yep, you're definitely onto something here!


Caz February 7, 2010 at 12:48 pm

hahahahahah!! lurve it!


…Mrs.P! February 6, 2010 at 9:36 pm

Love it! I could do with her coming to my work!


lori February 6, 2010 at 6:13 pm

I want that superpower! Then I could look in my hubby's brain to see how in the world he thought he could do a month's worth of "honey-dos" in 2 hours, before our company comes over.


Liss February 5, 2010 at 8:22 pm

Yes, I can think of many uses for this – just like to today would have been useful for me to understand WHY my child feels that 'iceskating' on the tiles using my new (not read) magazines as skis is a great idea, and wouldn't make me cross at all!

Great post – welcome to Blog This!


DaughteroftheStars February 5, 2010 at 3:39 pm

Loved your post, this could be useful so often.

Like when I'm sitting on EMPTY carriage on the train and 'creepy guy' gets on and decides to sit, so our elbows touch. Despite there being like a gazillion other seats available. This super girl could say things for me that I;m usually mumbling in my head.


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