Roll up, Roll up..

by Lori Dwyer on May 26, 2010 · 7 comments

…come one, come all, to bear witness to this, the greeeatest show on Earth!!!

I just freaking love the circus, don’t you?

Now, before anyone jumps up and down and starts having heart palpitations in their swivel chair- I know the animals look sad. And I know that an elephant’s natural habitat is not a dusty paddock, nor the back of a stinky, bumpy truck. And I am well aware that when lions are growling at their tamer, they are probably not expressing how happy they are to be there.

I am aware of all those points, and more. And yet, shamefully, I cannot turn away. The lure of the striped Big Top, the smell of sawdust, popcorn and grease paint- it’s too strong. Far too intoxicating to resist.

There are, for some unfathomable reason, not one, not two, but three circuses in our area at the moment, all within a 45 minute drive of each other. You would think, for the preservation of their own industry, they would spread themselves and their patronage out a bit. Apparently not.

Whatever. We have the choice between Weber’s Circus (no animals, unless you count dogs dressed up as tigers, which I most certainly do not. And beware of that link, the resulting site may just hurt your eyes); the Great Moscow Circus (sounds impressive, doesn’t it? I’m fairly certain they are not actually Russian, but, hey, whatever rises your tent*); and, my personal favorite, The Stardust Circus. Complete with animals. (The emphasis there is on complete, ya see?)

I’ve always loved the circus, even as a kid, before I learned to clown. I hate the exorbitant ticket prices- that public liability insurance’ll getcha every time- but I don’t mind the over priced fired food and showbags. Mainly because the people selling them are the same people who, twenty minutes later, are suspended two storeys in the air or have their head in a lions mouth. And they’re also the same people who are later stripping down the Big Top and scraping up the elephant poo. And they’re probably all related.

Anydoodles, readeroonies, the question I would like you answer for me today is this….

If you were in the circus, who would you be…?

The Lion Tamer, perhaps?

Or the Strong Man?

An Acrobat**?


Is there a Tattoo’ed Lady among us?
Or something else entirely….?

Oh, and by the way, if you want to be the RingMaster, you’ll have to get your own damn circus. ‘Cause that’s my job.

While you think about the question, please enjoy this music interlude. Whether or not you are scared of clowns (Hi, Amy), it is the creepiest three minutes of children’s television I’ve seen in a while. I’m not even sure why. It just has that whole old-fashioned-scary-circus-where-alcoholic-clown-goes-nuts-and-gets-people-with-his-axe feel to it. I think organ music has that effect.


* I’ve done my research. According to their website, the performers in the Great Moscow circus actually are Russian. Who woulda thunk it?

**At this point, I’m going to caution you all against Googling any variation of a phrase containing the word ‘Circus’. The number of different pictures that come up of Britney Spears wearing exactly the same expression is positively startling.
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Thea May 26, 2010 at 5:41 pm

Oooo, I'll play!
I want to be the lady that stands on the white horse's back as it canters gracefully around the ring. You'll have to wait until I put on my skinny lady suit though, and get over my fear of horses!


lori May 26, 2010 at 3:32 pm

That Ringmaster chic looks like she's got it going on! Me, at the moment I'd be the bearded lady because I'm due for a waxing. By the way, I see you've done some blog re-decorating – looks good!


Wanderlust May 26, 2010 at 1:32 pm

I would be the elephant that got jacked up on marshmallow circus peanuts, broke out of its enclosure and trampled people.

And check you out, you broke the century. Woo to the hoo!


Amy xxoo May 26, 2010 at 1:22 pm

Because of your description, i am not even going near that Wiggles clip. Also, my favourite kind of circus is Cirque Du Soleil – awesome acrobatics and various other talents… and the clowns are not " clowns".
Me? I'd be an acrobat. I did gymnastics for a while when i was younger – until i hit puberty and my bum became too heavy to flip around….


Lulu May 26, 2010 at 1:18 pm

We have been through this before Lori – you Ringmaster, me tissu.

That is all.


In Real Life May 26, 2010 at 1:17 pm

Oooooooh, how fun! I'd love to be a lion tamer! Or an animal trainer of any sort really!


Holly Homemaker May 26, 2010 at 9:17 am

Oooh you must live nearish to me Miss Lori, The Moscow Circus is like a 5-10 minute drive from meeee!


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