Stuff I Think I Know For Sure.

by Lori Dwyer on May 4, 2011 · 33 comments

Just some stuff that I’ve learnt lately.

Time Passes. And sometimes that’s a bitch, and sometimes it’s a blessing. Either way, it’s truth- times passes, and it takes many things with it.

You Can Do What You Have To. When there is no other choice but to put one foot in front of the other, you just do it. You have to.

Opinion Are Like Noses. Everyone’s got one. A lot of them are ugly. And many of them are full of nothing useful.

Some People Are Just Fuckwits. And something like this- something terrible, something heartbreaking… it changes nothing. The fuckwits, they’re still fuckwits.

But Some People Are Just Awesome. Serious. For every fuckwit out there, there is at least two people who have huge hearts, open minds, and are willing to put themselves out to help others.

There Is No Timeline. There are no rules. Grief… it’s a bitch of a thing. And it takes as long as it’s likes.

Chocolate is good. Always.

Mental illness bites so hard. And so does the stigma, shame and silence that surrounds it.

“Make friends with your shadow- you can’t run from it.” Sage advice from my mate Eden.

Control is an illusion. And sometimes it’s best to let it go.

And Fate is bullshit.
Whether all this actually happened for a reason or not, I don’t know… but it’s still fucked.

Don’t be too busy, all the time. You’ll regret it if you miss stuff.

Rule Number One- Move On. Tony used to say this all the time- I’d stress about things, want to dissect them and discuss them; and he’d say… “You just gotta keep moving forward, darl.”

And that’s so true. No matter what happens, no matter how far back you fall… the only direction to move in, eventually, is forward.

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{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }

theKatieKitten May 7, 2011 at 9:34 pm

You wanted me to remind you when you wrote this blog about the "shopping, no matter what, a girl's gotta shop"… L, you will know what I mean. xoxo


Lívia May 7, 2011 at 12:03 pm

oh my god, this changed my life.

so, ok. maybe not my hole life, but my life right now.

thank you!


Easy Peasy Kids May 5, 2011 at 10:38 pm

Lori I needed your reality check list tonight. Especially the fuckwit part. Although I know and study behaviour I still forget how 1 random fuckwit can make you doubt yourself and make you feel crappy. So to the fuckwit who emailed me a nasty comment you are just an ignorant fuckwit . For 1 of you there are atleast 2 big hearts out there- that's what Lori says and all the lovelies that left comments, reminded me to ignore you so I am. Phew that feels much better. Thanks :)


Annabellz May 5, 2011 at 10:30 pm

I am just joining in the comments. Someone in Canada who is not a mom sent me your blog a month or so ago and I put it on FB. I'm passing it along. All I can say is you are awesome! People say you cannot love someone you have never met. Well that's just not true. You are loved by me and people you have touched deeply. I could go on about that but I think you know what I mean. I just wanted to finally comment here.


Glowless @ Where’s My Glow May 5, 2011 at 6:22 pm

Maaan, how am I meant to write a cool comment after Eden? Not gonna happen is it?
P.S. Codeword x


Crystal Cheverie May 5, 2011 at 10:01 pm

So true…

Yes, fuckwits are always fuckwits, and nothing will change that. I only hope that the people in Paradise are continuing to be kind to you.

Hope you and the kiddies are well and continuing to heal.



Sophie May 5, 2011 at 11:51 am

Yep. Totally agree.


edenland May 5, 2011 at 11:32 am

Lori I think about you every single day … true.

Your instagram pic, of the cloth nappies? Made me cry like a bitch. A teeny step, in coming back Home inside yourself. Doing things the way you want them done … gaining some control over your life again.

I motherfucking love you, hon. XOXOXO


Nerdycomputergirl May 5, 2011 at 8:04 am

Here's to moving forward Lori, you are an amazing woman with so much insight. Sending you love and good wishes everyday.


MaidInAustralia May 5, 2011 at 8:04 am

I agree. xo


Amy xxoo May 5, 2011 at 7:15 am

I prefer the saying " Opinions are like arseholes – everybodys got one ". But then our next bit was " and some of them are ugly "…and they just made me cack! Good work Lori!


Kelloggsville May 5, 2011 at 6:46 am

I live my life by the chocolate rule (and Rule No 6 : don't take yourself too seriously), Sage advice Lori..thank you x


A-M May 5, 2011 at 5:46 am

Great list. I needed that. You are a strong, brave, inspirational woman. You are the hero in your story. You inspire me to kick my grief to the curb and just get on with life. Thank you. A-M xx


Janet NZ May 5, 2011 at 4:08 am

Tears again here, but there's a smile too… and I think I would like Lou Gorman :-) xxx


Michael May 5, 2011 at 1:17 am

Absolutely true.

As the late Lou Gorman (a former professional baseball executive) once said, "The sun will rise, the sun will set, and I'll have lunch."


Glen May 5, 2011 at 1:03 am

Chocolate can never be bad


Wanderlust May 5, 2011 at 12:58 am

Ah, love it. So true… xo


MultipleMum May 5, 2011 at 12:42 am

Hey Lori. I haven't been by in awhile (sorry) so just caught up on your posts.

Glad things are working out for you down South. It is a beautiful part of the world. SLow and simple. Lots of time to think and grow and raise your gorgeous kids and mourn.

You are doing amazing things with that special brain of yours – finding connections, asking questions, trying to make sense of it. For you. For your kids. For us. You are making a difference. Keep moving on. Drag yourself on the shite days because each day you get through makes you stronger and wiser.

Still here. Still thinking of you. Lots of hugs xx


Hear Mum Roar May 5, 2011 at 12:19 am

This is all so true, and so inspiring.


In Real Life May 4, 2011 at 11:56 pm

So absolutely true! *HUGS*


Melody May 4, 2011 at 11:49 pm

They are some of the same things I know – especially the fuckwits – I know of too many. lol


Kristina Hughes May 4, 2011 at 11:18 pm

I've read about people who go through the most horrific personal tragedies and come out the other side with inner peace, grace and wisdom. I'm hoping the inner peace comes for you in good time but the wisdom, and the generosity to share it with people is there already. You're amazing, Lori. Thanks for that xxx


Kirsty May 4, 2011 at 10:09 pm

So True!! Chocolate is always good!
There are certainly a lot of fuckwits out there but more beautiful souls to drown them out!


Melissa May 4, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Wow – this is some of the wisest, true-est (sorry had to make up a word there) writing I've ever read. You are amazing, and so crazily smart and talented. This blog will help so many people.


Mum on the Run May 4, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Fantastic truths.
Thank you.


A Daft Scots Lass May 4, 2011 at 9:58 pm

Awesome advice.

in Afrikaans we say Fok Voort. Direct translation Fuck forward in other words keep moving forward.


Brenda May 4, 2011 at 9:51 pm

I love you, Lori.xxxx


nonoodle May 4, 2011 at 9:48 pm

Oh Lori, so much truth there! grief is something that we all cope with in our own way & own time… & it sucks!


Trik82 May 4, 2011 at 9:47 pm

I agree xox


Mich May 4, 2011 at 9:46 pm

you are one of the most strongest, lovliest, most awesomest people i have had the pleasure of meeting. Lots of love to you and the kidlets. xoxoxoxo


Kellie May 4, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Chocolate is good, and some people are just fuckwits.
My lifes mantra.


Madmother May 5, 2011 at 7:38 am

Beautifully put yet again.



Shelley May 4, 2011 at 9:57 pm

thank u


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