by Lori Dwyer on February 24, 2012 · 28 comments

I may or not be Internet dating again.

Why? Because I am a glutton for punishment. Obviously.

Those of you who worry for me will be relieved to know that’s it a bit… different, this time around. I’ve been burnt and hurt, and that makes you cautious. But, hell, I’ve also shed a skin and had to upload a batch of new, pixie cut photos to the dating site. And that makes me different too.

In a strange kind of oxymoron, I’m not taking anything at all- internet dating included- quite so seriously this time around. But in the same breath, I’m being pickier than I was last time around (you don’t need to sleep with every man who wants to, Lori- just because someone asks you something doesn’t mean the answer is ‘yes’), and that’s proving to be a lot more fun. I’m sure that revelation will be much to dismay of the man with the evidently very small penis who went on a Twitter rant after I posted this guide on Internet Dating- What Not To Do; stating that if I ‘wanted a husband’ (not particularly) I should ‘compromise’ and ‘lower my standards’. Douche. (There were, to my dismay, quite a few blokes who were less than happy with that post. I apologise, gentlemen, I didn’t mean to offend. It’s not you, it’s me. If I were dating women I’d whinge just as much, but probably about different things.)

As I said, I’m having fun. More fun than last time I played this game- and let’s keep in mind, online dating is a game. I’ve actually found myself a litmus test- a question that doesn’t definitively define whether things go beyond the inevitably seedy online dating site to become text, which becomes a phone call and then, maybe, a date; but it certainly helps weed out the men who just aren’t going to make me laugh. And that is a constant for me- you make me laugh, I’m yours.

With that in mind, I’ve taken to asking…

Who’s your favorite superhero?

Simple and childish, I know. And don’t get me wrong (crazy woman), I don’t go running around messaging people randomly with “Hi! I’m Lori! Who’s your favorite superhero!?” But after a bit of back and forth banter, I don’t think that’s an unacceptable question. And the response really does tell you an awful lot about a person.

Some men are- probably quite understandably- baffled by the question. “What do you mean?” and “Why do you ask?” are answers that just don’t suit me. Not that there’s anything wrong with either of those responses, really. But I believe life, and people in particular, are all about the little things. The finer details of whose your favorite superhero, what’s your favorite song right now and whether you prefer peanut butter or Vegemite are just as vital to who you are as your job, your age or where you live. None of those are discriminating factors either- but if you can’t understand why I’m asking, I don’t think you’ll get where I’m at. And I doubt you’ll make me giggle.

Likewise, if the answer is “I don’t have a favorite superhero. Allow me to brush off that question and return to chatting about mundane things like work and food”– or something to that effect- well… that tells me that this person is probably not going to be a lot of fun. That simple. It would take some really sparkling conversation to change my mind after an answer like that… and I haven’t found it happen yet.

Happily, most guys answer my question with good humor. The most common answer, in case you’re wondering, is Batman. There has yet to be a Superman. Bonus points go to blokes who answer with any of the X-Men. Because if I were a superhero, I’d be Rogue.

From FanPop. And I don’t care what you say, Anna is way better than cartoon Rogue and her bad hair that needs a to be hit with a straightener.

I loved her since I was a kid, and I still love her now. For no other reason than she rocks that grey streak. And I may need to emulate that cool at some point in the near future. (Nothing to do with the way she can’t touch people because she hurts them Really.) 

And Lori Rogue. Or something. Heh.

And that’s what I answer, on the rare occurrence that someone actually asks me the question in return. That, by the way, is still my main complaint… conversation is an art form, true. But the basics are question-answer-response-question, rinse and repeat. Most men leave out the ‘question’ part altogether. It’s difficult, trying to carry on a one sided conversation, especially through a screen. Most of the time, I don’t bother.

Anyway. That’s me. What I want to know from you, jellybeans, for a matter of my own curiosity…

Who’s your favorite superhero?

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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

Shellye March 10, 2012 at 4:35 pm

That Twitter guy is an idiot. Don't ever lower your standards.

Batman is my favorite superhero. He's a bit of a loner, his life is shrouded in mystery, and he doesn't do anything for reward. I think Superman does his thing to pick up chics! (Just kidding!)


enlightned-one March 5, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Aaaaaaaaaaaahahaha :) Captain Planet………… Favorite colour…………. Rainbow! :)


Annabellz March 3, 2012 at 7:35 am

I'm ashamed to say I never dabbled in superheros. Batman, Superman, Incredible Hulk, Batman and Robin (package deal), Wonderwoman, Cat Woman and Isis. Can't say I ever got into it though… i know the question is for fun and and an opener to a conversation. I guess I'd make a bad date. I think if I had to pick it would be someone not particularly super from my own life… although people dissapoint I had two women in my life that were human… Gloria and Maggie. One is still alive and one has died. They saved my ass more than once. I might add here that if any of you have women or men in your life who are just quite wonderful.. give them a call and tell them they are your superhero's. They need to hear it and then I love you would be a wonderful thing too.


exumbrerum February 27, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Gambit, hands down. Awesome powers, dark history and good with the ladies. Plus he's a Cajun, so he'll know what good food is.


Cassie February 27, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I have to have more than one! For females, Wonder Woman came to mind (like other Lori) but then someone mentioned Buffy and I couldn't believe I forgot her. So, I'm torn there. And if I was going to be a superhero, I'd be the mum from No Ordinary Family, I'd love that super-speed! So much to do, so little time.

As for males, Cannonball from the New Mutants was always my favorite. Although Cyclops is a close second.


Cassondra February 26, 2012 at 11:28 am

I'm very tempted to answer Captain Underpants, but I'm not 100% on that. This may need more thought.


salmarriott February 25, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Oh I am giggling so hard right now cause I just ask my husband what super hero he would be. He said spiderman then he said well actually my first thought was The Greatest American Hero!!!!
Mine is She-ra.


Karyn February 25, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Great post Lori!

My favourite changes … Sometimes it's CatWoman, sometimes it's Tank Girl. Other times its Buffy.

I just realised something – these are all women who have no choice in fighting against the evil that jurst them.


Eccles February 25, 2012 at 9:11 pm

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Eccles February 25, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Kellogsville is so right lol. I just asked mine & after a bit of thought…(30seconds) SUPERMAN!!! YAY. His favourite films are, just in case you were wondering… "Finding Nemo" & "Taken". Maybe 'coz they're both about fatherhood & protecting kids. For me, Dick Tracy. He's the only other person I know who spells Tracy the same way I do ;)


Brad February 25, 2012 at 7:44 am

Spongebob isn't really a Superhero hey. Well, maybe not to yooo!!
Yes, Spongebob rode 'The Hoff'& he has a starfish for a besty. That's a hero :)
Other than Him, that ice making dude in The Incredibles. He was cool (woops).


Melissa February 24, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Clearly my new favorite superhero is Lori Rogue! That photo is quite AWESOME. Prior to that, though, I'd have to give the nod to Wonder Woman as a childhood favorite, and Storm from the XMen as an adolescent favorite. I've always wanted to control the weather …


Amy xxoo February 24, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Would you believe i actually asked Mick that same question our second date? We went to see " Watchmen " ( i'm a bit of a superhero/graphic novel film kind of gal ) and though our answers for favourite were different ( his is Superman, mine is definately Batman ) we did agree on #2 – Wolverine. It must be love!


Jen February 24, 2012 at 8:42 pm

I'd have to go old school and stick with Superman, I think.

Partly because he was probably the first superhero I was aware of, because my older brother liked the films, and because one of my biggest treats as a kid was being allowed to play the Superman III board game (it was my brother's and therefore in the not-allowed-to-touch-without-permission category) and I loved the flippable pieces in it. Sad? Possibly.

These days I'm still a fan because a) his alter ego is a geeky writer type, b) he doesn't quite fit in and it irks him, and c) nothing says awesome and invokes confidence like a big red cape (or analogous item of clothing).

So I guess I like him because I empathise, not because I want him or want to be him.

And thinking of my "point c" I've recalled that I own red leather boots that look rather like wellies, that I wear when I need a Superman-esque boost. And a matching underwear set that are blue with red trim and have a big Superman logo on each.

I think I like Superman even more than I thought I did.

Good question, Lori! Gets the thought processes well and truly churning!


Yules February 24, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Superman – because, as a kid I thought that he (as clark kent) reminded me of my Dad. Especially when he was wearing his boggly round glasses. He turns into something amazing….just like I thought of my Dad. I still get a bit squidgy when I see Christopher Reeve, and I'm proud of it! – he tugs as my heart strings.


Samantha Mawdsley February 24, 2012 at 7:57 pm

When I was internet dating (I'm still single, I just gave up), I asked this question too!! My profile had a pic of me with the real Batmobile so it wasn't hard for them to guess mine.
But my reasoning is because he has no super powers. He does good, not because he was accidentally bestowed with amazing powers, but because he thinks it's the right thing to do and he just wants to make the world a better place. *sigh* I heart Batman so much!


Kateonthego February 24, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Oh and to answer the question…..Buffy the Vampire Slayer!


Kateonthego February 24, 2012 at 6:06 pm

I'm totally failing at Internet dating right now. I'm too scared to contact anyone, have got photos up where I think I look way skinnier than I really am plus I fear I'm not the same conversationalist that I used to be. You seem to at least get hits from decent guys – or are you brave enough to be the one that contacts them first??


Violet LeBeaux February 24, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Clearly you and I are made for each other, I ALWAYS loved Gambit… in fact, I may have had such a thing for him that I *may* have changed the spelling of his last name to make my LeBeaux pseudonym… *cough*


lori February 24, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Oh man- I would be a complete epic fail at internet dating. *shudder*
For me it's Wonder Woman. That gal can rock a bustier (is that how it's spelled?? It doesn't look right). And she's curvy and owns it!


Lisa H February 24, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I've never seen the X-men (I know, strange huh?), but I'd have to say my fave hero is Superman.

The way he flew around the world to make it spin backwards and go back in time to save Lois from the earthquake… *sigh* My hero!

And here I am… showing my age!


Miss Pink February 24, 2012 at 1:33 pm

I love X-Men. Hugh Jackman as Wolverine? *drools* And that is the ONLY time I will admit to drooling over Hugh. I just think they got the cast so fucking spot on for the movies.

I also love Jean from those movies.

Another superhero I love of sorts I guess is Elektra. It'd be a toss up between her and Lara Croft for my favourite superhero's. I like some girls with balls.


Eccentricess February 24, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Flash! Ah ahhhhhh! Saviour of the universe!

Hubby is a huge Phantom fan.

This is a cool litmus test, cos not only does it show if they even know what a superhero is, but if they spend their time angling for a hint from you as to what you want the answer to be… they are probably manipulating users.


Hunny Bunny February 24, 2012 at 10:58 am

Yay for having fun and not taking it seriously :-) as for my favourite super hero…. I LOVE X-Men! All of them!! But if I had to pick a favourite it would be Wolverine.


Corina M February 24, 2012 at 10:40 am

Thumbs up to internet dating! My husband and I have been together 5 years after meeting on the internet and he is the love of my life!
I say 'Go for it Lori, what have you got to lose' Just have fun!


Krista February 24, 2012 at 9:43 am

Does Leia count as a superhero? No? Yeah…didn't think so.

Then I'd say Katniss Everdeen…crap! She's not a superhero either, is she?!

Current obsession that's only in book form but soon to be a film – Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter.

Otherwise, I'd just say Professor X because I got this thing for Patrick Stewart…I'd have his babies if he asked.

I love that you ask a random, fun question. It really does a fantastic job of weeding out the one's you just aren't going to have fun with.


Ozzie Thriftmumma February 24, 2012 at 9:26 am

I dont think its a silly question at all. I have known from the moment I met my hubby who is fave hero is – Spiderman. Our house is covered in blue and red. Although he's 30 he still loves him. He even has spiderman tattooed down his forearm in chinese (he may possibly be nerdy lol).
Internet dating is very hit and miss. You have to be more picky than when meeting someone in person because it is easier to hide behind a computer screen.
Never lower your expectations, you are worth far more than that!!

Goodluck with it, maybe this time you might find someone a little special.


Kelloggsville February 24, 2012 at 9:07 am

women all over are now asking their other halves who their favourite superhero is. I just asked mine – I told him he wouldn't get a date with you!! Incidentally when I complained he didn't ask back he actually asked "who's hers then?" ! he still didn't actually ask me LOL and in answer to your question mine is Shrek!


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