The Crappest GiveAway Ever (really, this time)

by Lori Dwyer on June 28, 2010 · 43 comments

Aloha, munchkins,

Quite a while ago now, I mentioned I was thinking of doing the Crappest GiveAway Ever to celebrate my new blog makeover. And then.. erm.. I got lazy. And forgot about it. Whatever.

But I have a new flush of energy. It must be menopause, or not, or something. And the Crappest GiveAway Ever is back.

And, surprisingly, it’s not as crap as you may think.

Here’s the bootie, my lovely ones. The winner takes all.

Yup, that’s right. Those containers are big. Real big. A whole kilo of fruit drop bon bon thingies. A whole kilo of gum balls. And three two big arse lollipops* (The other one went and got itself eaten).

Oh yeah.

I know, jellybeans would have been more fitting, for branding purposes. But my sugar pushing pimp daddy was fresh out.

In the spirit of all things fun-like, I was actually going to do a lolly guessing competition. You know how it goes- y’all guess, and whoever gets closest wins the lollies. But I decided I was too lazy to count the lollies there might be legal issues with that.

So let’s have a pretend-lolly-guessing competition.

Ways to enter the Crappest GiveAway Ever are as follows……

Comment on it. With a guess as to how many lollies are in the jar. Keeping in mind that this will have absolutely no bearing on whether you win or not. I also wanna know, in that comment, what you will do with the leftover lollies when you have eaten so many you feel sick and you’re teeth are falling out of your head.{One entry}

Tweet about it. Link this post and use the hashtag #crappestgiveawayever. And tell me about it in a separate comment. {one entry}

Blog about it. And what lollies are your favorite. And how awesome I am and how much you love me. Again, leave a link too your post in a separate comment. {one entry}

Sleep with me {One entry}

Sleep with Wanderlust {One entry}

I’m only half joking about those last two.

And here’s the fine print.

This competition is open to all residents of the World. However… if you happen to be a resident of a country other than Australia, you may receive a prize other than foodstuffs, of equal or greater value, just not so much of a pain in the proverbial to ship, what with customs searching them for cocaine and all. This prize will be just as crap, I promise. If this does happen, the lolly pack will be redrawn until it is won by an Aussie or I am sent bankrupt shipping crap overseas, whichever happens first.

You gots to be a public Follower of this blog to enter. Click the Google box Friend doovy. If you do prefer to remain anonymous and still want to enter, that’s kind of dumb, but I will accept a screen shot of some kind proving you are subscribed to my feed. OK? OK. I really hope no one does that. What a pain in the arse.

Winner will be chosen totally randomly, using, and contacted by email. All of which is good for branding purposes, unlike the non-existent jellybeans.You must leave your email address with your comment. You have 72 hours to reply and claim your prize or your modem will self destruct or a new winner will be chosen.

This competition opens on Monday June 28 2010 (like, now). Entries close 8pm Wednesday 7 July. The winner will be announced via a post on this blog, and emailed on Thursday 8 July.

And there you go. The first ever RRSAHM Crappest GiveAway Ever. Depending on how it’s received, there may be further, even crapper giveaways. I know, you’re all a quiver with excitement. How much do you love me….? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

*Lollipops pictured may have be eaten and replaced with similar lollipops by the time this prize is drawn.

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{ 43 comments… read them below or add one }

Rosie July 7, 2010 at 2:58 pm

OK! *concentrating hard here* I think! There are three lollies! And I'm in New Zealand so it's up to you! I would plan to use the fruit bon-bons that were leftover to try and make stained-glass biscuits, but not do it, and then just grab a handful each time I walked past the jar until there were none left.


Carrie July 7, 2010 at 1:44 am
Carrie July 7, 2010 at 1:43 am

I'll guess 28 lollies :) If I win you'll have to figure out some other crap to send since I live in Canada.


Melissa@Suger Coat It July 6, 2010 at 10:35 am

Seriously. Have I won yet? Am working out how to tweet this. Am such a Twitter dunce. When I do, consider it done.


Katt July 6, 2010 at 2:18 am

I tweeted it :) at @OfficialKatt


Katt July 6, 2010 at 2:17 am

I guessed 52 Lollies In The Jar!


Anita July 2, 2010 at 12:57 am

My guess is 57 lollies in the jar.

There is no such thing as left over lollies; whoever told you there was is a dreadful liar! :P


Wanderlust June 30, 2010 at 1:44 pm

Blogged about your giveaway today. And slept with myself. Two more entries pleeze!!


So Now What? June 30, 2010 at 8:58 am

Oooh, 55 lollies. Haven't blogged but will tweet now. Just found out more sugar in apple juice than coke, so what's 55 gumballs to my sugared up kids? :)


cfoxes33 June 30, 2010 at 12:20 am

There are 54 lollies. And when I have had my fill…I will share with the guys here at the office because you know, they will and do eat everything! Nothing ever goes to waste.


marketingtomilk June 29, 2010 at 10:27 pm

I don't want to enter the crappest competition ever. Thanks. But i did want to say. Maybe you should get that test for menapause? Apparently they can tell you how near / far off it is. ;< )


Katie June 29, 2010 at 6:09 am

Bowchica wah waow! Is your husband seeing the deviant things we americans will do for candy?? Kinky, no?


lori June 29, 2010 at 6:03 am

I'm gonna say 80. I'd plant the leftover lollies in the little patch of ground outside that I was supposed to plant a garden in but got too lazy. I think they would look quite cute poking out of the ground amongst the weeds.
Whats up with kinky anonymous commenter? Do you have a secret admirer?!


Wanderlust June 29, 2010 at 4:36 am

Yay, I'm getting some booty out of this!


jayayceeblog June 29, 2010 at 1:03 am

I've been a follower for a while … I'm in the U.S., but guessing there are about 200 in each jar. Since I have a sweet tooth, there are never, ever leftovers in our house!


Katie June 29, 2010 at 12:14 am

69 gumballs (reason: I'm pervy that way)
Also, headed to Kansas to sleep with Kristin.
(reason: I want candy, also, I'm pervy that way ;)
Then…Kristin and I will come and sleep with you.

Has this helped or hindered my chances?


In Real Life June 28, 2010 at 11:55 pm

Tee Hee! This is the funnest give-away ever! I think 102 candies in the jar and 72 gumballs. I would use the gumballs to bribe my children into doing chores, I would keep the candies for myself, and I would give the kids each a giant lollipop because then they would think I was the coolest mom ever!


Kimberly June 28, 2010 at 11:33 pm

I tweeted


Jodie at Mummy Mayhem June 28, 2010 at 11:26 pm

There's definitely 3,742 lollies in that jar.

May I say though, when you opened with "Aloha" I was thinkin' perhaps the prize was going to have something to do with, um, Hawaii? Just sayin'.


Kimberly June 28, 2010 at 11:24 pm

I think my mom warned me to take candy from strangers ;)
69 of gumballs cause you have a dirty mind and 41 of the Bon bons. There will be no leftovers cause I'd eat all of them!


Lori @ RRSAHM June 28, 2010 at 9:14 pm

You guys are tops. You know that? The topsest.

Veronica, I totally believe you. Entered.

Mel, you are awesome. Entered twice ;)

Whoever unFollowed me, bite me. Hard.


Amy June 28, 2010 at 9:00 pm

Weee! What a great crap giveaway! :)

I bet that there are 52 lollies in the jar


Melissa@Suger Coat It June 28, 2010 at 7:35 pm

Stuff to do in blogworld link, article to follow. enter me again bay-bee!


Michelle June 28, 2010 at 7:08 pm

OK… I'm going for 67…

No way I'm eating any of it if I win!


Melissa@Suger Coat It June 28, 2010 at 6:51 pm

You dag. What a funny give away post. Usually they are all like, wow, check this out, you know you want to, kiss my sponsors butt, drop on over, etc etc etc. I know. I did it. Yours though. Very funny!

And let me win it please. Diet, day 5 sucks! I guess 457 lollies. Because well, it doesn't matter does it.


Veronica June 28, 2010 at 4:51 pm

Can I email you the screenshot to prove I'm subscribed via google reader?

And I think there are 134 of the round ball type things and 167 of the other ones and 2 lollipops.

I'd end up stashing the lollies in my top cupboard for nibling purposes, because I doubt very much they would be Amy friendly.


Mich June 28, 2010 at 1:50 pm

52 gumballs and 72 of the bonbons.

the kids would get the gumballs, I'd love to see Miss Mirani J try to eat a whole lollipop and the bonbons for me and the mr. THERE WOULD BE NO LEFTOVERS in my sugar and artificial colouring house!!!


Your Cheeky Monkey June 28, 2010 at 1:44 pm

Just tweeted:
@Y_C_Monkey Lollies!!! /2010/06/crappest-giveaway-ever-really-this-time.html #crappestgiveawayever


Your Cheeky Monkey June 28, 2010 at 1:40 pm

85 gum balls hehe. I would keep them hidden away in my sewing room and ration them out to myself without the kids knowing about them. I'm following you now too (Monique N). And my email is Monique at :-)


Anonymous June 28, 2010 at 12:39 pm

hey baby , i guess i cant enter the comp … but what would you do if i ate all the lollies before the comp ended ,, please be kinky in your reply , love you Lori head .. xo


Brenda June 28, 2010 at 10:57 am

Ooh lollipops. Love those. Consider this my entry?


Wanderlust June 28, 2010 at 10:12 am

I'm also tweeting. I will blog about this too probably, but I can't do it today because I already blogged about my own:

SOOPER DOOPER giveaway open only to Aussie residents worth AU $500!! Hoooo yeah!!!

Sorry. Shameless promotion.

By the way, that last comment was mine. Not sure why it registered under something other than Wanderlust. But 'tis me.


ForeverRhonda June 28, 2010 at 8:48 am

I'm thinking there are uhm let's say 47 gumballs or 87 gumballs. Those are my 2 favorite numbers.


scone June 28, 2010 at 8:13 am

oh gosh, I'm the only entrant so far! Now I look like a weirdo!


scone June 28, 2010 at 8:07 am

Tweeted… but you'll see that !


scone June 28, 2010 at 8:05 am

I reckon there's 57 gum balls. I have no idea how heavy a gumball is, so it's a random number ;)

I'd be hiding them from my toddler, eating the lollipops myself. Might even use the bonbon things for party lolly bags. I'm sure it'd all get eaten !


Claire June 28, 2010 at 1:13 pm

Oh forgot the most important bit

Atoxim at gmail dot com


Claire June 28, 2010 at 1:12 pm

I think there is about 60 lollies in that jar, if there's any gone then the pixies pinched them lol

With the leftover (yeah, like there's gonna be any) I'll get my Bro's around and have a who can flick the furthest contest, it's so much fun with sultanas after a couple of wines


Kristin June 28, 2010 at 10:07 am

ROFLPIMP!!! Can I get an extra entry by sleeping with myself??

Okay, there are 78 gumballs. No more, no less!

Once I eat myself sick I will use the leftover ones to chuck as far from myself as possible so my kids will chase after them and I will have a moments peace to write.


MMBB June 28, 2010 at 9:44 am
MMBB June 28, 2010 at 9:32 am

I tweeteded too!


MMBB June 28, 2010 at 9:28 am

Hmm, 46 gumballs, 57 of the other ones. Oh, and 2 big lollipops :D

You think there'll be left overs? bhahaha


Eva Gallant June 28, 2010 at 8:20 am

I am bummed. I live in Maine, USA, so I can't get the candy. I like candy. 78 is the magic number. I am following you. It's Wanderlust's fault!


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