The Medium, Part One

by Lori Dwyer on November 14, 2011 · 63 comments

I’m a practiced skeptic… a people reader who once made my living by knowing how magic works and reading the tiniest facial cues to keep myself from being found out. I watch John Edwards and quite often laugh…. there’s always an ‘A’ in the room.

But I also believe in things I don’t understand. Consider that the whole world of living things is, essentially, a pulsing, breathing organism, and we are part of that. Consider that their is a large percentage of the human brain that is simply a mystery to modern science- we do not know what it does.

Consider those things, and tell me it’s not arrogant to concede willful disbelief in things such as psychics, mediums and clairvoyancy.

I saw a medium a week or so ago. It was terrifying, gratifying, made me cry for days and was exactly what I needed. Forgive me while I tell this one in the third person… it’s easier.
It’s a psychic fair at a small suburban club, the kind where you can take you children for dinner in the bistro and only vaguely hear the clanging of poker machines in the background.
Entry is $5 and there are tables set up all through a small auditorium. Some sell incense and oils, books and jewelry, tribal drums and dream catchers. Smaller tables dot the carpeted area in the middle, and seated at each is a seer of some kind… clairvoyants; mediums; tarot; color and number readers; spirit guides; healers and those who claim to read guardian angels.
If you spend enough time and money there, one of them is certain to tell you what you want to hear.
There’s a ‘show’ starting, the kind of psychic show you see on Pay TV… a medium with a microphone and a captivated group of people sitting in front of her. The audience is not huge, but it grows as she speaks. This woman is the one that most people have come here to see, and her four hours worth of $40-for-20-minute bookings are completely filled within 15 minutes of the doors opening.
In the second row of the small crowd sits a tiny woman with dark hair. Her best friend sits next to her, and she has a tiny toddler with pigtails in her hair perched on her lap. In the seat in front of her is a boy, almost four years old and the spitting image of his late father. Both children are behaving extraordinarily well for being so young and having to sit so still, and the woman with the dark hair occasionally passes them snacks, drinks and toys from a gaudy Sesame St bag. She’d rather not have her children here, you can see that on her face, but the need to be her is not so easy to ignore, and her options are limited.
The first ten minutes of the show pass slowly as the medium relays a message from an old man with bowel cancer to his son in law. The woman with the dark hair is barely listening, her foot jiggling against the floor. She has the same feeling she gets when a thunderstorm is due…. there is electricity in the air. Something is about to happen.
“I’m sorry,” the psychic on stage interrupts herself from chatting to the son-in-law about how heaven is everything the old man said it would be, “but I have to stop there. I’m choking. There’s a man here and there’s something around his neck, and this is how he died.”
The tiny, dark haired woman feels the storm break and sits up as if a lightning bolt has hit her. She raises her hand, tentatively, as she notices the silence in the rest of the audience.
“I think that may be for me.”

“Yes… I think so. There was no note, was there? And who found him? You? You did. Oh my…. you’re so tiny. He’s showing me that, you tried to help him, and you were so distressed. He says he’s sorry, he’s so sorry.”
The dark haired woman says nothing, but nods occasionally in ascertain to the women’s questions. The medium speaks faster, her words tumbling over each other as if she can’t keep up with what she’s seeing, can’t keep up with what needs to be said. As she talks, she gestures behind her, as if that’s where the images and messages are coming from.
“He wants you to know he got a good kick up the bum when he got here… an older woman, she gave him a hiding and said “You idiot.” But he’s OK. And he loves you. He wants you to know that he loves you.”
“These are his children, yes? Yes, they are, and yes, they are beautiful! He says that he doesn’t feel like he can call himself dad anymore. And he’s telling me not to be too graphic, because the little ones are here. He’s saying “Quick, make her laugh!” because he hates to see you crying.”

“It’s important you know… you where his anchor. He loved you, he loved you, he loved you. You showed him what true love was, what it meant to be loved. He adored you. The sun rose and set with you, and he’s so sorry for what happened. He was in two minds, and he didn’t mean it to go this way.”

“And you’re not going crazy, he says. He does come and play with your hair at night, you’re  not imaging it.”
At this point the dark haired woman in the audience begins to sob….how many nights has she fallen asleep, positive she’s on her way to her own psychosis because she can feel her husbands thick fingers gently unknotting her hair?
At this point, the medium turns to the tiny woman’s friend, who is sitting beside her, crying also.

“You knew him well too. He’s showing me you’re a mother figure to her, you took care of her, and he says thank you. He also tells me you have a few choice words for him, and not to ask you too much about what you think of him right now.”
“He wants you to know that he made it to Heaven, he got there… whoever it is that’s worried about suicides not going to Heaven, he’s telling them to stop worrying. And he had tattoos?” At this point, the medium puts her hand on her chest, over her heart. Ask her about it later, and she would probably not have remembered doing it, it seemed to be such an unconscious gesture. There’s no way of knowing what could have been located there. There’s also no way of knowing that he died with one tattoo, the one for me, unfi

“He wants you to know that he’s having his tattoo finished. He’s loving it up there. He wants you tell people “Na na, I got here”, because it was a running joke during his life that he wouldn’t. And he tells me you have a tattoo for him, you got it recently?”
In a daze, the woman in the audience pulls up her sleeve, revealing a brightly colored tattoo that has been entirely hidden by clothing until now.
“Ahhh yes! He loves it. He knows it’ll be hard on the next bloke, but he loves it. And that’s another thing- there’s no jealousy, nothing like that, in Heaven, it’s OK.”

“He knows you had a few choice words for him too, and that’s OK. But he wants to say thank you, thank you so much, thank you for the love.”
And with that the medium smiles, and moves onto the next spirit, the next relative, the next message. The dark haired, tiny woman in the audience, she mouths a thank you to the psychic on stage, and then gets up, still blinded by tears, leaving her children in the care of a friend while she sits outside and cries, sucking down a cigarette as if it will be her last one ever.
There’s no doubt in her mind what happened. It was all too accurate, too quick. She had not said a word, just nodded and cried. It was more than the words of the medium… she could feel her husband there, hear his tone in this woman’s voice.
The dark haired woman feels better than she has in months; but much worse too. It’s the feeling of someone being just there, knowing they’re there, but they exist behind a pane of glass so thick and heavily tinted you can’t see or hear them if you try.

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{ 63 comments… read them below or add one }

Maysaa February 10, 2013 at 3:11 pm

Love your style Lori. Enjoying reading every post



Livi December 13, 2011 at 5:42 am

Wow, a very powerful experience *hugs* it must have been incredibly hard too though


Penny November 25, 2011 at 9:12 am

Holy Fuck! I saw a clarivoyant once and as soon as I walked in, she said, 'You're not responsible for Carol. She can look after herself.' She knew my mums name who had been going through a tough time and I felt like I was the only one who cared. She also told me I would write on a screen for a career. In 1997 that was a little bizarre and i thought she was nuts. And now I blog. Go figure.


Anonymous November 16, 2011 at 12:41 pm

You have a talent for writing. Thanks for the feelings.


Annabellz November 16, 2011 at 11:47 am

Yes… Wow! ((((hugs))))


Crissy November 15, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Oh shit Lori, I don't cry at blog posts but how could I not? All choked up here with tears streaming down for you. Amazingly beautiful xx


Oldie November 15, 2011 at 11:34 am

So good to hear you found a real Messenger with so many Fakers around these days.

Kind of picks up my own spirits since I lost all faith in any others in my industry 20 years ago… due to there being so many fakers, unbalanced ego types, etc.

I love how things work out in their own time…. esecially when it supports what I told you already.

Be well Love,



Ms Kate November 15, 2011 at 7:45 am

Oh, tears, lump in throat, passionate, amazing. God bless.


Stinky November 15, 2011 at 6:56 am

wow *tears*

from another skeptic here – glad you got the right medium


Yules November 15, 2011 at 6:43 am

Wow….. That's all I can say.


Lindseywishinguponstars November 15, 2011 at 4:02 am

Oh Lori, I am so so happy you went to see her. I saw a medium just a few weeks ago and found myself sobbing the whole time. It was all accurate. Know now, that you can speak to him…I speak to my deceased grandma, and I don't hear her respond in her voice, it more comes at me as a thought. I just know the thought is not my own…its hers. Please try it. Just ask aloud any question you have for him and wait for a response in your mind. Good Luck!


kateypie35 November 15, 2011 at 3:20 am

holy shit!


Heather November 15, 2011 at 3:01 am

Please email me! I have a question about your blog! :)


Ms Styling You November 15, 2011 at 12:46 am

I know it's late but just getting to my reader – OMFG – tears and hope for you gorgeous x


A Dose of Dannie November 14, 2011 at 11:45 pm

I have tears running down my face for you at this moment and goosebumps i have also seen a medium and learnt a lot about my past,family,and today (with the troubles) i have with my children.


Melissa November 14, 2011 at 11:41 pm



Inga. November 14, 2011 at 11:29 pm


Just. fuck.

I am a mess. I had to walk away, then come back to finish reading this. I couldn't see your words for my tears.


Tony loves you so very much.



Anonymous November 14, 2011 at 10:53 pm

have been having a bit of insommnia lately and watching Psychic Sally on cable at 4.30am thinking THIS IS WHAT LORI NEEDS…. How can we be so superior to think that what we can see is all that there is? I believe your man is there watching over you and your children and I hope the kick up the arse hurt…


Melissa November 14, 2011 at 10:44 pm

Holy COW. That's incredible.
Just. Wow.


handmaidofpeace November 14, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Whoa. I'm so glad you got to hear all that. Whoa!


Georgia November 14, 2011 at 10:05 pm

Wow! Powerful stuff Lori, I got tingles down my spine.

I am so glad Toni came through for you, to tell you how much he loves you, that it wasn't your fault. But most of all, that he loves you.


stinkb0mb November 14, 2011 at 9:40 pm


a good medium is worth their weight in gold.

i'm so glad that you got this reading, that tony came through for you – it doesn't change anything but it can in time, make you feel lighter.



Mum to a Miracle November 14, 2011 at 9:35 pm

Hair standing on end. It is eaasy on TV to go "oh its a ring-in" or "oh of course there is a Sarah with a loved one called John" but straight from someone you "know"… just terrifyingly amazing


Deb November 14, 2011 at 7:48 pm



Trudy November 14, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Wow Lori,
You have written what happened beautifully. I was in the front row listening, and we all felt for you so much. So glad you have a blog :) You have a natural talent for writing. Take care <3


A Daft Scots Lass November 14, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Yeah, tears, shock, amazement and happy for you knowing that you got to "talk" to him and hear words you needed to hear from him.

Amazing. Truly amazing


Tamsyn November 14, 2011 at 5:57 pm

I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out. I can only imagine how beautiful yet heart-breaking this experience must have been for you Lori. I'm so glad she was genuine and that Tony was able to reach out to you xx


alliecat November 14, 2011 at 4:38 pm

A. Mazing.

What a gift, a true true gift, to get those messages. So clear, so accurate and no doubts.

I have goosebumps



staceygurl21 November 14, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Wow, I am seriously the biggest skeptic ever but reading that just had me in tears with a mass of goosebumps.

Just WOW!


Mum on the Run November 14, 2011 at 4:14 pm

I'm a puddle.
I can only begin to imagine what this has meant for you.
Good on you, Tony. Good work mate.
What an amazing experience, Lori.


Wanderlust November 14, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Oh sweetie, how beautiful. How incredibly brilliant and beautiful. Just perfect. xoxo


Kel November 14, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Just…speechless. I'm very happy for you that he came through :-) x


Helen November 14, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Exactly what you needed indeed.

"He also tells me you have a few choice words for him, and not to ask you too much about what you think of him right now."

now, that made me chuckle. What an amazing friend you have there at your side.


Toushka Lee November 14, 2011 at 2:42 pm

holy shit. that is all.


Karen November 14, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Oh my gosh, Lori- that is astounding. There are tears pricking at my eyes and I kept going back to reread the wonderousness. I was so covered in goosebumps. For now all else I can say is "WOW".


Mrs BC November 15, 2011 at 12:40 am

Wow! I'm not so much a sceptic, but I do believe. You are lucky to get this message. How wonderful, but how raw.


Calli November 14, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Wow, just wow!!!


Musings of a crafty mind November 14, 2011 at 12:54 pm

WOW, truly amazing ♥



Sapphyre November 14, 2011 at 12:49 pm

I'm looking forward to part two. It's wonderful that she was able to offer you so much comfort. In my mind, that's what a psychic is there for.

But I'm still skeptical about this being about having "powers". Was there anything she mentioned that wasn't already in this blog? It's possible she has read your story and recognized you. If I was a psychic, with real powers or otherwise, I would certainly want to give you comfort. {Hugs}


Jane November 14, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Wow. I have goosebumps reading this. xx


Jennifer Kay November 14, 2011 at 12:37 pm

You're making me a believer!


Miss Pink November 14, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Oh Lori I cried. Bawled.
I am glad he is trying to reach you so much. Glad, but also I don't want you to feel the pain of it. It's ok, he is telling you that he will make sure you're ok. You just can't see or hear or touch him. And I know THAT isn't ok, but he will look after you still.

I am the same with psychics. I only ever want to see them when i'm feeling incredibly lost and I spend most of the time trying to pick at them to prove they're a crock of shit. It's silly.
I haven't been many times, but I know that I need to see one before the end of the year. Any reccommendations? Please!

I saw one a week before I had Bluey. Just a tarot reading, and of all the things she said to me only one still sticks with me. She said "You're sick aren't you? Some problems with the pregnancy." I shook my head no, I told her my pregnacy was textbook perfect. Then, well things changed very quickly, but that is such a long story. That little comment, from nowhere, I mean I looked FABULOUS in that pregnancy, so she couldn't have just picked it looking at me. And she never said "Oh sorry I must be wrong." or anything like that, she just smiled when I told her no and moved on. I think she knew. I didn't put it together until 6 months later.


Donna November 14, 2011 at 11:57 am

Lori this is amazing. I'm quite a believer in these things and recently had the pleasure of meeting the world acclaimed Medium Deb Webber. She was so spot on, and I was amazed at the messages they can impart.

the biggest lesson she gave me was that its her job to being comfort & closure. To let go of the grief and send light and love to the ones you so desperately want back. Easier said than done, I know…

But still, I hope with all my heart this brought some solace and answered some questions… Much love to you x


Kimberley November 14, 2011 at 11:45 am

Wow. Heart wrenching. I hope you find peace as you navigate this bit of the journey.


Sarah November 14, 2011 at 11:40 am

I am so so glad that you went to see a psychic. A friend of mine went a little while ago & she is pretty sure it was Tony that was there & wanted to tell you that it was not your fault. The psychic said she couldn't say anymore because my friend was too distanced from you to pass on detailed information.

I had no idea how to tell you, it wasn't something I could say over the phone & I went to tell you a hundred times on Saturday night but because I wasn't certain & it was second hand information (or third) I didn't.

I hope this brings you some peace knowing he is still out there & he still loves you very much xxx


Anonymous November 14, 2011 at 11:29 am

I'm a commenter who normally isn't anonymous. I'm a medium to a degree. I'm not a professional or anything and I'm more scared of it than anything else and I don't tell people (obviously). When this all first happened to you, I received a message for you as I was reading your blog but I was too scared to pass it on. I wish I had now. It was after you thought your little son had received a message, about slowing down driving, I think? I was asked to tell you 'I'm sorry, I love you, it's ok.' Or something to that effect. With so much going on around me, I get hurried feelings that take vague word-like shapes/sounds. I wish I'd told you then, but a message like that is so generic, no matter if it's true. I am so, so thankful you received a message so clear and beautiful. I hope it brings you comfort and peace. You deserve it!


Glowless @ Where’s My Glow November 14, 2011 at 10:54 am

Goosebumps and tears xxx


sharon@ Hear Mum Roar November 14, 2011 at 10:49 am

I hope his words can bring some comfort and healing:)


Jenny November 14, 2011 at 10:34 am

Wow. Who cares how clairvoyants/psychics work, because that was amazing.
When you think about the true definition of Amazing… that it amazes you, and in this case makes strangers cry for you.


Pandora November 14, 2011 at 10:27 am

Incredible. The perpetually dry eyes of this stony cynic have also welled up.

I've always been sceptical on these issues, but you're quite right about the brain: our understanding of neurology is almost infinitesimally shit. And the accuracy, lack of prompting…wow.

I'm so glad that you were able to hear that he's sorry for what happened, that he loves you – and, of course, that he's OK. And I hope you are too.

Thinking of you, lady.


Leah – Bogue Living November 14, 2011 at 10:23 am

oh gosh, tears here too. yours isn't the first story I've heard like this and it fills me with wonder and hope.


Kelloggsville November 14, 2011 at 9:58 am

It's been a while since you made me cry, I read the title and felt angry, felt that you would be taken on a vunerable ride. Now I just want to hug you very very tight. xxxx


Amba @ Team Mummy November 14, 2011 at 9:39 am

Oh my gosh, I think I held my breath as I read that.

Thats amazing, honestly. WOW!

He loved you so :)


Anonymous November 14, 2011 at 9:34 am

Tears streaming down my face…
So many dodgy mediums out there, but when you find one, a real one, it is so totally worth it.

Hugs xx


Anonymous November 14, 2011 at 9:34 am

Tears streaming down my face…
So many dodgy mediums out there, but when you find one, a real one, it is so totally worth it.

Hugs xx


Steph(anie) November 14, 2011 at 9:04 am

Oh, Lori.


Anonymous November 14, 2011 at 8:47 am

Beautiful. xxx


Lynda Halliger-Otvos November 14, 2011 at 8:41 am


words won’t come; know i am here sending healing energy through the pacific waters between us.


Toni November 14, 2011 at 6:01 pm

I have tears running down my cheeks reading this, Lori, I can only imagine how bittersweet it was for you to hear those words.
Hugs and LOVE, always. xx


Good Golly Miss Holly! November 14, 2011 at 1:53 pm


I am sitting here in a puddle of tears.

I know this is nowhere near a happy ending but I hope this connection filled with you some love and hope, Miss Lori x


Brydes November 14, 2011 at 12:47 pm

I can't stop crying. How special for you to be able to hear from him. What a lucky woman to have a husband that loves her so much xx


Mary November 14, 2011 at 9:57 am

I admit to being sceptical (through fear I think) but I read this and the tears well up and I think – there is something.

I have had the same reaction to this as I did to Steve Jobs last words "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow." very moved.



Ames November 14, 2011 at 9:54 am

Wow Lori, I was seriously sobbing. How wonderful for you.


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