Vlogged- Backyard Ink

by Lori Dwyer on April 30, 2012 · 12 comments

Finally- video’s up. Sorry about that one guys… YouTube ate it the first time round.

I did an extremely stupid thing the other day. Extremely stupid. Quite possibly, the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.

And of course, I filmed it for your viewing pleasure.

Now, before I go any further, allow me to disclaim… Backyard tattoos are an extremely stupid idea. The risk of scarring, blood poisoning and infection are massive and only an idiot would let someone do that to them.

And having said that, allow to present…. My new tattoo.

No, it’s not the Masterchef logo. It’s a spiral- symbol of renewal, energy and new life. Or something.

Which was actually inked by a relative of mine who may have purchased his tattoo gun off eBay a few months ago.

He’s only practiced on himself so far, and has actually done a pretty damn good job on his own designs. Knowing that he is fairly sensible, that he would be clean and hygienic, and that I am… well… I’m not sure if the words here are ’gullible’, ’vulnerable’, ’stupid’ or ’charitable’. Whatever.

I volunteered to be his first human guinea pig. He was excited but reluctant. I promised a simple design. I also promised him that we’d put it somewhere easy to cover up, and that if he did fuck it up, I wouldn’t hold it against him.

And I meant it. Tattoos are life pictures. If I have a slightly dodgy design with a story behind it, inked on me by a family member, then so be it. I’m OK with that.

And isn’t that a good thing…? Heh. He has promised me he will touch it up. I’m not sure if I’m game. The only appealing factor about that is that I won’t have to go to a real tattoo studio and deal with the ’tsk, tsk, tsk, aren’t you a dickhead’ that I will inevitably cop from the tattooist.

So… enjoy the vlog. To give you a basic rundown…. I did not hack the pain very well. There’s probably a dozen reasons why– tiredness, lack of faith in the artist (*ahem*) the fact that my backyard tattooist seems to think a tattoo gun is a fucking texta and the ink will get darker if he carves harder into my skin.

But I’m actually going to blame the basic psychology of it– it’s much more difficult to be brave in your own home than in a studio surrounded by big tough tattooed blokes. Especially when your tattooist cannot stop laughing at you.

Whatever it was, I went into shock and only narrowly avoided vomiting or fainting. Then laughed hysterically.

As you do.

I know, I know… I’m a dick. Pleas feel free to reiterate this in the comments section, if you wish- I have my big girl pants on, promise.

But… hey… let’s look on the bright side. Not only no blood poisoning… but it could have come out much, much worse.

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

handmaidofpeace May 4, 2012 at 12:59 pm

You look like you're about to vomit!

Also, I adore that song. I haven't heard in yeeeeaaarrs!


midwife katrina April 30, 2012 at 10:40 pm

I think out of all your tattoos, that's my favourite. The organic design is lovely.


Vicky April 30, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Compared to the back yard job I had done – that is friggin brilliant. I did have to go to a professional and get it fixed up, because I got sick and tired of being asked if it was a burn :S … Now I love it. The gorgeous Courtney from Tattoo Junction did such an amazing job of fixing it that you would never know how fucked up it looked before – other then I have photos…

And now she is my artist of choice. I'm happy to save my gold coins to get my body art done properly now. learnt the hard way.


Miss Pink April 30, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Oh I am laughing so fucking hard. Next time (there will be one, just you wait) make sure I'm over first. I will hold the camera while I laugh uncontrollably.

I'm sure I will give you a chance to laugh at me squirming soon enough. Oy! I need to get back to planning that…


A Dose of Dannie April 30, 2012 at 8:50 pm

OMG! Now i am even more scared to get one lol :-) You brave soul you! xxx
When i do pluck up the courage to get one you must come with me and hold my hand!!! Deal??


MummyateMe April 30, 2012 at 8:32 pm

OMG, you're completely crazy but it is really cool and I think you're right that it is better to have an imperfect tattoo with a brilliant story!!


Melissa April 30, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Oh Lori – I just never know what to expect when I pop over here… always a surprise


Kimberley April 30, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Eh. My friends used to have bodgy home tat parties… My partner sports two done with needles and ink. Yours is pro compared to that! hehe.


Julia April 30, 2012 at 6:35 pm

How funny! You're definitely brave! LOL xx


A Daft Scots Lass April 30, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Oh Em Gee. You're one brave muthafucker!


Caroline April 30, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Have seen some incredibly shit, scary looking bakyard jobs over the years. Yours – awesome. Love the design. glad u didn't get sick from it ;)


Kirsty Lee April 30, 2012 at 8:32 am

Video won't work?


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