Monthly Archives: May 2016
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Jeans and Stuff.
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: F*ck.
Sucess- the Man's a Fan! – RRSAHM
Sucess- the Man’s a Fan!
Aloha,
Just a quick update from the Purple House. Power to the people and the commenters- The Man has joined the RRSAHM FaceBook Liker-er page!
Yee-haa! Operation: Damn the Man, Save The Page– Total and utter success.
The Man is firmly under the thumb once again.
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Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Things I just do not get….
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: In The Powder Room
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Come Flog With Me, Let’s Flog, Let’s Flog Away….
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: For Any Mother Who May Pass This Way (Nothing funny about this post, folks)
Writing, blogging, it's all the same to me. – RRSAHM
Writing, blogging, it’s all the same to me.
Why hello there,
Are we writers, or are we bloggers?
That seems to be the question so many people are asking. Why? I do not know. But I will throw myself on this particular bandwagon as it thunders past.
Me? I’m going to err firmly on the side of caution and say, I’m a blogger. There is some flash fiction here on my blog, and some unbelievably crap-tastic poetry, but that’s about it. If I were a writer, this would probably be a totally different kind of blog. One without jellybeans, typos and many, many pictures unashamadley pinched off Google Images. Maybe.
As far as I’m concerned, the proof is in the pudding- I blog, therefore I am. It would feel somewhat remiss to call myself a writer. Because, truth be told, I just ain’t that good at it. I read blogs like Kristin’s and Megan’s and Veronica’s and say wow- they can call themselves writers. I’m just kind of blogging along here, throwing words and images and links together in the sweet salty soup that is the RRSAHM.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love to write. And it had been a long, thirsty and unnecessary time in between writing spells for me. I wrote as a child, little stories for my mum to read. I wrote as a teenager, an outlet for my angst. I wrote in my early twenties, for lack of anything better to do.
And then… I got a real job (kind of). And then… I had kids. And the pile of notebooks on the bottom shelf of my bookcase stopped growing. I forget what it felt like to create something lyrical from the raw materiel of words. I forgot the satisfaction of feeling the indentations of pen strokes over dozens of pages, paragraph after paragraph, line after line.
Blogging has recaptured that. I have immersed myself in the feeling of writing again. It’s almost as warm and comfy as slipping into a pair of flannelet pajamas fresh from the tumble dryer. But, ya know, without the clingy static zapping your leg hairs.
So am I a writer? Maybe, maybe not. perhaps, if I was, it would not have been so easy to stop, to just forget all about it, all those years ago.
Am I a blogger? For sure. I’m new at this and I’m stumbling my way through HTML, RSS, blog etiquette and what the hell’s a trackback? But I’m enjoying every step of the way. And I’m really, really glad that you lot are along for the ride.
Stick around. You never know, we may just rediscover the writer in me yet.
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
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May 20, 2010 at 11:03 am -
I think all writers can be good bloggers, but not all bloggers can be good writers. But I truly think you are good at both. Your post about your post partum depression sealed the deal for me. You're a good writer.
And I see my hubby popped in – hope he behaves himself!
- May 20, 2010 at 10:41 am
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Can I be neither? I mean, I have a blog, on which I write (horrifically) but I guess the lack of blog design or obsession with stats and growth make me feel like I'm not a "real" blogger.
More like a chick with a diary that she leaves laying about.
(And if I were a writer, I'd totally know if I had just used the correct tense of "lay" there. I hate that word.)
- May 19, 2010 at 9:44 pm
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Yeah, I'm a bit of both, myself. And I think blogging can spark the creativity that leads to "writing", ya know what I mean?
- May 19, 2010 at 5:50 pm
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I personally think the main difference between blogging and writing is that blogging involves a lot more social skills – it's about the interaction just as much as the communications.
Good writers can be good blogger, but it's not an automatic shoe in.
- May 19, 2010 at 4:35 pm
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I second Brenda's comment; I feel the same way. I loved writing when I was younger, but then a snobby private school beat it out of me. I'd like to get that creativity back, and I'm hoping that blogging may lead to that, but who knows?
- May 19, 2010 at 1:00 pm
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I'd say we could call ourselves " blog writers ". We write, therefore we are writers, yea? Just because we dont write poetry or prose or anything necessarily good doesnt mean we dont write….
- May 19, 2010 at 11:52 am
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Not buying it. Writer. Writers stop writing for longs periods of time because they have lives, they doubt themselves (constantly), disparage themselves (constantly). People act like the word writer is some holy grail that should only be applied with great caution. I say, apply liberally.
- May 19, 2010 at 11:25 am
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I am no writer. But I think that your blogging style is wonderfully journalistic. Are journos writers? The plot thickens!
Either way, I like to read your posts, a lot.
xx
- May 19, 2010 at 11:15 am
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Dear Aussie Lori (dear to me wifey, American Lori),
It occurs to me that a blog is much like the plaque attached to the Voyager spacecraft hurtling out of our solar system: we put it out there despite having no evidence it will ever be read much less understood – knowing only that, either way, we'll never know.
O, the vessels loneliness hath wrought.
P.S. I think only bloggers can call each other 'blogger'. It's disparaging from anyone else.
- May 19, 2010 at 10:13 am
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Could I just repost this on my site? I feel exactly the same way. I am a blogger. A damn good blogger if I may so myself. But I am not a writer. Yet.
- May 19, 2010 at 9:48 am
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I'm with you. I think I'm a blogger. I've never even wanted to write or be a writer. I just want to share, sometimes I possibly over-share, but that's me!
I like your writing. You sound like a real writer to me!!
- May 19, 2010 at 9:16 am
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Hhhm, so what am I then, writer or blogger?
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Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Another New House In Paradise….
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Jeans and Stuff.
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Falling Into Place
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Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Falling Into Place
Money Banks. – RRSAHM
Money Banks.
My daughter is obsessed with anything naturally occurring. Even if it is inanimate.
The Bump is fascinated with the huge, ugly seed pods that fall from the Banksia tree in our backyard. She collects them, large and small, and organises them into family groups; as she knows family groups to be. A large seed pod, a medium sized seed pod, a small seed pod. But instead of the nuclear representation- a daddy, a mummy, a baby- these banksia pods represent myself, her brother, and her.
Some days she insists on bringing them inside, and while banksia dust all over my floor is annoying, it’s also kind of sweet.
Sweeter still is the way she just can’t remember what they’re called. “Look, mummy!” she will say, “A money bank!”
“No, baby. they’re called Banksias.”
And she giggle. “Oh, that’s right. Banksias.”
Until three of four days later, when she comes across another one.
“Look mummy! A money bank!”
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
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August 17, 2013 at 5:22 pm -
That is just adorable
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August 20, 2013 at 6:07 pm -
Hehe
Lori Dwyer recently posted…This Is Not An Art Blog.
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August 17, 2013 at 2:16 am -
That’s adorable. They always remind me of those banksia men from Snugglepot & Cuddlepie.
I’m not really looking forward to the day my second little guy remembers that ‘suckstorms’ are actually called tornadoes. Makes me smile every time.
- August 20, 2013 at 6:02 pm
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“suckstorms”- That’s so cute
Lori Dwyer recently posted…This Is Not An Art Blog.
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August 16, 2013 at 11:28 am -
Little darling, I hope her new garden will hold a new world of adventure for her too – for all of you actually!
- August 16, 2013 at 1:04 pm
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Thanks Mary
xx
Lori Dwyer recently posted…Money Banks.
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Next post: Permanent.
What Do We Tell Them Then? – RRSAHM
What Do We Tell Them Then?
I can’t even write too much about this. It makes my teeth grit in anger and brings up all kinds of justifiably furious states.
If you missed, it starts with Mia. And one would hope it ends with News With Nipples, who summed it up more eloquently than I’d ever will be able to.
But I’ll say this… One day, I will tell both my daughter, and my son, not to drink to excess. Because it makes you look like a tool.
I’ll tell them both to be careful with what they do, how they behave. I’ll teach them the best ways to minimise the risk to them, whatever situation they may be in.
And I’ll tell them the truth– that sometimes, awful people do horrible things. And that’s never okay.
But I’ll be damned if I tell my daughter that something she does effectively makes her prey to those people. As Kerri said on Twitter, there’s a very fine line between ‘Binge drinking makes you too vulnerable’ and ‘That short skirt makes you a target’.
Because if we keep telling our daughters these things, if we keep perpetuating the myth that it was something they did that caused a sexual assault…
If we tell them to be ‘good girls’, and they are, and the worst still happens…
What the f*ck do we tell them, then?
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
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October 23, 2013 at 10:09 pm -
As I said in (what I felt was) a good conversation with NWN on Twitter, I’m a father of a 9yo girl, and three boys (16y, 12y, 17mo). I intend to teach my daughter what she can do to reduce the risks of being the victim of an opportunist. I have already started the conversation with my 16you, and intend to have it with my other two boys: One of the things is boils down to is “Don’t be an asshole”.
Although, for the 17mo, it’s “Don’t eat crayons”, but I digress.
I see it as “the before” and “the after”. In the before, we teach our children what they can do to not be the bad people, and what they can do to avoid the bad people.
In the after, God forbid, the victim needs one thing. Compassion. Nothing else. It’s not their fault that the criminal did what they did. What’s done is done. Loading them up with blame doesn’t fix anything and only increases the burden they carry.
For the victim, compassion. Just compassion.
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October 22, 2013 at 6:23 pm -
For those who don’t understand why telling girls how to avoid being attacked is an issue, how many boys get told the same thing? How many sons are told what not to do to avoid violence, because young men are victims of violence.
Making it solely womens’ responsibility to avoid being attacked is wrong. I read a comment by someone yesterday where the girls in their high school year all had to do a term of self defence. The boys had nothing. No self defence and no words about consent, about avoiding binge drinking, avoiding fights etc. The girls have to defend themselves, the boys dont’ get todl what their responsibilities are.
I also read this yesterday – When Israel was experiencing an epidemic of violent rapes and someone at a cabinet meeting suggested women be put under curfew until the rapists were caught, Golda Meir said back, “Men are committing the rapes. Let them be put under curfew.”
Women have to stay in, dress ‘properly’, don’t drink, don’t flirt…the list goes on. Men don’t get those instructions, not even to avoid violence amongst themselves. Point me to where a guy who got king hit was blamed for it, was told what he was wearing made him vunerable. Where he was told that by drinking to excess he helped make it happen and if he’d just been a ‘good boy’ he’d have been fine.
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October 22, 2013 at 4:06 pm -
I confess, I do not understand this… I don’t see how teaching people that they can take steps to protect themselves means that they are at fault if someone does something awful to them, even if they didn’t take those steps. If I don’t lock my vehicle and it gets stolen, that’s not my fault — it’s the fault of the person who took the car. If I walk through a lousy part of town and someone kills me, that’s not my fault — it’s the fault of the murderer. If I have too much to drink and someone rapes me, that’s not my fault — it’s the fault of the assaulter.
This is from the perspective of having been there. I was sexually assaulted by someone I knew, and there are things I could have done differently that would have prevented the assault. Things I wish I HAD done differently. Even so, I in no way think that it’s my fault. I never did. It was his fault. And I don’t believe that I’m extraordinary in my ability to know the difference….
But if I don’t tell people about what you can do to help keep yourself safe, and they wind up assaulted under similar circumstances? Then I’m pretty sure THAT might be my fault.
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October 22, 2013 at 11:18 am -
“One day, I will tell both my daughter, and my son, not to drink to excess. Because it makes you look like a tool.”
Exactly.
And instead of teaching girls not to ‘get themselves into bad situations’, we should teach EVERYONE about what consent looks like, about how to be a responsible drinker, friend, man, woman. How to take care of people and look out for friends. How to make good decisions. About how to be a decent human being.
It’s just so hard to not be angry when people have a platform and they don’t use it to promote actually helpful messages instead of the same old tired messages.
Whoa, Molly! recently posted…Story Failing
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October 22, 2013 at 9:15 am -
I have 2 boys. No girls. Man I wanted a girl. But … I can still pass onto my boys what I would have passed to my girls. That sharing a bed with a mate, even fully dressed with no intention of doing more than sleeping cause you’re too drunk to drive, is not an invitation for sex. Thankfully the mate listened to me say “no”. But it so very well could have gone a bad way.
So we tell our kids our learnings. Our mistakes. And hope to hell they listen.
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October 22, 2013 at 4:19 am -
I don’t see how it’s perceived as blaming the victim to warn girls that drinking to excess can cause them to be more vulnerable. It also causes boys to be more vulnerable. Bad things happen to good people all the time and I think it’s wise to warn kids/teenagers/college students that there are people in the world who will take advantage of them. I have two teenage girls and live in a small town. I want them to be aware they will meet people in the world who will take advantage of them. You only increase the chance of a better outcome by not being so impaired that you can’t help yourself. Men who are impaired get taken advantage of also. I don’t think this is a case of blaming victims or blaming women. Anyone can be the victim of a crime but I want my girls to be aware of how drinking to much can put them at a further disadvantage in what might be an already vulnerable situation. P.S. Lori, I love your blog and your raw truth. You’ve been through so much but your rocking it out. You’re a great mom! Love from the states. Ailene
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October 22, 2013 at 10:02 am -
The problem is that females are told this all too often in the media, yet there is a complete lack of stories telling boys that it’s NOT okay to force themselves on anyone.
Why is the focus being put on the way that females behave?
Also, I’m all for a discussion around behaviours that put both sexes at risk of being taken advantage of. However, these stories are pretty much always aimed at females.
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October 22, 2013 at 12:43 am -
I told her not to talk to strangers when she was little…to NEVER follow someone she didn’t know (“Hey little girl, want to see my puppy?”)
When she started driving, I bought her police-grade mace to have in the car with her.
I told her to always have someone walk her out to her car in the parking lot after dark
I’ve told her not to get snot-slinging drunk…and I brought the point back up a few months ago when the circus media de jour was the high school girl that the two football player boys took advantage of while she was passed-out drunk. I have repeatedly pointed out how the boys involved deserved the prison sentences they received. BUT THE GIRL IS STILL RAPED.
I’m just saying…you don’t deserve to get ‘jacked and raped and/or murdered if you decide to cross the darkened parking lot by yourself after work…but you cut the chances of it happening down if you have security or your manager walk you to your car.
Marianne recently posted…Gifts -
October 21, 2013 at 11:56 pm -
But I don’t Mia said that at all. Clearly, the rapist is fully to blame -but I do not want to see my daughter, who has the right to drink if she wants to (although she could get really sick, etc), but the fact is that, for those who are raped by people they know, or in heading home, they are less likely to fend off an attack (and that might be by a friend, someone unknown, a relative, whatever) if they are impaired at all – particularly if they are not as physically strong. Great to be right -cold comfort when recovering from rape (and pressing charges can also be a degrading experience -again, very wrong, but lawyers and the guilty will use whatever they can to weasel out of what they have done). I will definitely be teaching both my son AND my daughter not to drink or use to the point that their judgment and physical abilities are impaired, to respect others (particularly my son – he’s only 8, but knowing some teenage boys as well as some men who don’t show a lot of respect to women, peer pressure is a real issue). The fact is, not everyone is brought up with these values. Yes -both need to be tackled – but you’d be stupid to put yourself in danger too. I didn’t think the article you linked to was very convincing – it argued against points Mia didn’t make. Anyway …
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October 21, 2013 at 10:36 pm -
I got lost in the vortex of the twitter discussions but viewing this as a mum and someone who has worked with victims of crime for a decade the role of looking to attach blame, to seek ways where a person can work out where it all went wrong brings the cycle time and time again back to the victim. If we don’t send our conversations back in the other direction where we question the perpetrator, their motivation, their punishment then how do we stop the cycle? Ill teach my girl how to respect herself, that’s a given, but this (^^^) is a total other issue. She, just like her mum, is not responsible for the behaviour of others. In other news News without nipples is a fab blog (and yes Ill be in touch to talk to you in real life soon Lori…x)
Sarah recently posted…he ain’t heavy.
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Muse wars Writing Challenge Five. No, not really. I'm short-storied out. – RRSAHM
Muse wars Writing Challenge Five. No, not really. I’m short-storied out.
Ahoy me hearties,
OK. This is a confession. And I feel terrible. I have missed the deadline for the Muse Wars, Writing Challenge Number Five, proudly bought to you by Gemma at SomeTimes You Just Need To Vent.
I’m supposed to be writing about this picture here.
But I just… can’t… do…. it.
I have short story burn out. Which is quite reasonable, considering I’ve been on writing hiatus for 10 years, then pumped out four in about 10 days.
So, I’m sorry, Gemma. I promise I will get back to it at a later date. Promise. Super promise.
Is this the bit where I mention I feel even worse because Gemma is actually my lovely sister-in-law? Here she is here, with my little big boofhead brother.
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
- March 19, 2010 at 12:50 pm
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bahahahhaha that picture cracks me up every time so bad. hahahahha, ur evil hahahaha
- March 19, 2010 at 12:50 am
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As Arnold would say – You Can Do It.
- March 18, 2010 at 9:37 pm
Previous post: There is nothing worse.
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Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Soul Cancer.
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: You did it how many times???
Operation: Eat More… Move Less? – RRSAHM
Operation: Eat More… Move Less?
Skinny minnie,
First off, apologies to anyone who will, by the end of this post, be ready to take out a knife and stab my avatar through their flat screens or beat me to death with a celery stick. I know that there are people out there who would be quite happy to take this problem off my hands. If anyone knows some kind of voodoo soul swap magic that could allow that to happen, please email me. Send bat claws and newts eyes as an attachment.
Anyway, the point I’m getting to is that I am having a wee bit of a problem here. A total of 22 months (and counting) of breastfeeding, 18 months of pregnancy and 16 months of running round and round and round after the super charged Chop have left me with an immune system shot to hell. And way, way too skinny.
And when I say skinny, I mean skinny. If I were blond, people might mistake for Sophie Monk. And that’s not a good thing.
My name is Lori, and I am a Lollipop Head.
After being sick last week and unable to ingest solid food for the better part of 48 hours, I lost 4 kilos. Which leaves me at 45 kilos, and about 158 cm’s. My size eight jeans are falling off me.
Again, not good.
So, I am embarking on Operation: Eat More. And I am hereby taking all the dieting rules and reversing them.
I am eating all the kid’s leftovers.
I am snacking between meals.
Carbs are my friend.
And I can eat whatever the bloody hell I like, and then some.
I know,I know, it sounds like a dream to some. But being, as I am, not particularly partial to food (why oh why don’t cigarettes and tea contain vital nutrients?), it’s a bit like forcing it down.
I’m giving it two weeks. If I don’t gain a kilo or so, I’m off to the doc’s.
Operation: Eat More. Going into overdrive, as of now.
Wish me luck.
Welcome to Diminishing Lucy’s Fat to Fit Blog Hop. Get on over and link on up…
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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
- May 15, 2010 at 10:26 am
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Um I think one leg of mine weighs that much – bulk up baby so you can get through winter or at least have a flu jab – would hate you to get really sick.
- May 14, 2010 at 5:57 am
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As a fattie (http://marketingtomilk.wordpress.com/2010/04/14/the-main-difference-between-thinnies-and-fatties/) I have never ever been in this situation so cannot offer any useful advice (ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS EAT LOTS AND LOTS MMMMMMM). I do sincerely wish you fatter (JUST PILE BUTTER ON EVERYTHING MMMMMM) and hope that you are feeling better soon (SIT DOWN ON THAT BLASTED COUCH, PUT YOUR CHILDREN IN FRONT OF THE TV AND EAT CHOCOLATE MMMMM)
In all seriousness, i know that being underweight can be as much of an issue as being overweight. It is just so very difficult to be just right. - May 14, 2010 at 2:15 am
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I'll slice off some of my ass and send it to you, k?
- May 13, 2010 at 9:14 pm
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Churros is good for weight gain, yes.
Thyroid is A OK, they check it every time they blood test me for my heart condition thingy.
And Nelle you are correct, I think. When I get to the docs, I may even get a cholesterol test, thanks for reminding me.
- May 13, 2010 at 8:44 pm
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I'm not sure if I've said it before, but get your thyroid checked…….
Also, want to go out for Churros tomorrow?!
- May 13, 2010 at 6:37 pm
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Dear Lolli – I officially unfriend you!
In all seriousness though, don't hold off on going to your doc babe, being underweight is just as bad as being overweight – and its coming to winter, I don't want you to blow away, where would I get me Bad Humpty fix?
- May 13, 2010 at 4:42 pm
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I think i might be hopping on that " fat to fit " bandwagon actually – not that i'm fat persay, just i could be less fat.
Does that make sense? - May 13, 2010 at 4:15 pm
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You still need to go for good fats though don't you? I know a whole lot of not much about nutrition, but I think you can be skinny and still have the bad fat around your heart and whatnot? That really does sound like I'm making it up….
Anyway, it's winter, you could go hot chocs made with milk. Lots of cheesy baked stuff…bacon and eggs for brekkies…I think winter will be your friend here…
(While I'm talking about things I have no idea on, does thyroid stuff have stuff to do with not being able to gain weight? Sarah might know?)'
Get fat soon! xo
- May 13, 2010 at 3:27 pm
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Lori lovely, I have another friend with your same problem, so I do sympathise. I can't empathise, never ever having been in your position!
In all seriousness, your best combo would be bread, cheese and pate. Seriously. Get yourself a ploughmans lunch.
Or Toad In The Hole.
Or homemade macaroni cheese.
Come over, I will cook for you to feed you all the carb and fat combos you need…..
- May 13, 2010 at 8:54 am
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Say, I'll do this challenge with ya! This one is right up my alley.
- May 13, 2010 at 8:27 am
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I hope that you are feeling better and that operation eat more is a success!
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My Son Has Been Kidnapped and Replaced With Some Kind of Alien. – RRSAHM
My Son Has Been Kidnapped and Replaced With Some Kind of Alien.
My son has been kidnapped and replaced with some kind of highly energised, relentlessly obnoxious alien being.
Which may sound overly dramatic, but on some days- like today- certainly feels true.
It came to my direct attention after a few weeks of school. My sweet little man had picked up some seriously annoying speech and habits. Mild mannered swearing. (Poo. What is it with the word ‘poo’?) Playground games. (“Chop!!” I yell after he slams his shoe down on his sisters bare foot. “What?” He is thoroughly confused. “That’s how you play Footsies!”). And just a general rough and tumble, testosterone-fueled harshness in his demeanor that’s never been there before.
“Maybe he’s just settling in”, I told myself. “Perhaps he is just tired.”
The school holidays- marked by ten long days of solid noise and almost continual confrontation- seemed to solidify this slightly obnoxious boy-ism as just another part of his evolving, kaleidoscope personality.
I know it’s probably natural, just a ‘boy thing’. Something that I wouldn’t even be aware of, I think, if his dad was still around. For the last two years, the Chop has had very few rough and tumble male influences in his life. That’s okay- it evidently hasn’t hurt him. It’s just that the emergence of this side of his personality has taken me by surprise, happening all at once rather than through the slow osmosis of continual exposure.
Curbing his behaviour, deciding and managing appropriate punishments… that’s become more difficult. How many times can I send him to this room, before it reaches a point where it simply begets more stress, more pent up energy resulting in more frustrated outbursts? (The answer to that would be, roughly, a few hundred before we move onto iPad and TV restrictions. Which work just as well.)
One day during the seemingly endless school holidays, my son was in complete bored five year old mode- tearing around the house, jumping on couches, harassing his sister with nonsensical rules to complicated make-believe games, and generally being, in the politest terminology I can think of, completely feral. There was no physical violence, no losing control, no real danger of hurting himself… nothing that required refraction beyond a verbal reprimand (“Stop… being… annoying!” was met with maniacal laughter and a HotWheels car zooming past my feet); and I was not, for reason of my own mental health and sanity, restricting TV privileges on a day like today.
So I, half-jokingly, instructed him to come outside and presented him with a rake, which I used to mark out a four foot long, two foot wide stretch of browned and fallen leaves in our backyard. “Rake these,” I told him. I expected him to thoroughly object, and I certainly wouldn’t have pushed it… the idea of forcing a five year old to rake leaves as punishment seems a little bit… Edwardian, maybe?
But he didn’t object. He took to his task, finished, and then resumed playing with the Bump. That frenzied edge of energy had been burnt off. Total win. It’s become the ultimate technique for those days when his energy is just too big for the house.
And thank the gods, school is back in session as of now. Next holidays, I’m planning to be significantly more prepared.
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
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May 6, 2013 at 11:55 pm -
“energy too big for the house” is SUCH a perfect description! Good luck next holidays xx
- May 3, 2013 at 9:08 pm
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Love, this is just one of those joys of kids. The next annoying step if you will. I was working on something these last few weeks that will be up on my blog next week in relation to this. Kinda. And it has taken me forever to get to this point where I am glimpsing a light at the end of the “fuck this school thing and other people’s kids annoying habits becoming MY kids fucking habit!” tunnel.
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May 3, 2013 at 9:43 am -
Hi Lori every child has his/her currency, its just a matter of finding it! Good Luck
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May 3, 2013 at 7:49 am -
Have you got a trampoline? Ours has saved my sanity!! Worth every penny. That, and not taking things away as a punishment (which just adds to the angst), but working towards a very clear reward ..
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May 2, 2013 at 1:04 pm -
You have hit the nail on the head.
Real, purposeful work.
Sweeping, raking, digging holes for plants, hanging out clothes ( I once ran a string line next to the clothes line – my children’s jobs were to hang out smalls – a job I hated – they loved it), washing windows, digging weeds etc. You do have to be present though – working alongside them. It’s amazing how calming it is for them, and they will often move on to a productive game once they have tired of it. - May 2, 2013 at 11:55 am
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I have such a child! My tip for you…a squeegee, some water in a bucket and let him go at the windows. My active feral one LOVES doing that! Keeps him occupied and gives me time to breath!
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May 2, 2013 at 11:57 am -
aargh! Sorry, didn’t mean to be anon. I hate it when people comment without their name!
So I am Fiona – I don’t know you but enjoy your blog. It’s real! So thank you for writing.
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- May 2, 2013 at 11:47 am
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my 5 year old tears around like a crazed lunatic most places we go. sigh. stay strong mama!
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May 2, 2013 at 11:34 am -
Well done for surviving the school holidays! It can be such a long two weeks, particularly when, as you say, they’ve picked up all this new ‘stuff’ from school.
We got through the first week of school holidays, and then my 6-year-old daughter begged me to send her to vacation care (quite possibly because I made her help me scrub the walls/clean the car etc), so I did.
But yes, the first week, on the days when her sisters were home from daycare, it was total chaos.
- May 2, 2013 at 8:58 am
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Child Labour is the best form of kid-wrangling!
No, but really, when I used to complain to my mum about having to wash up every night, she’d say: “But that’s why I had you. Because I hate dishes.”
I love my mum.
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Next post: A Different Kind Of Missing Someone.
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Another New House In Paradise….
Some Nights. – RRSAHM
Some Nights.
“Some nights I stay up, cashing in my bad luck.
Some nights I call it a draw.”
Some Nights, Fun.
***
Some days it’s all shit, no matter how happy I am, and I hate my past and the way it just will not let me go. How long do you have with PTSD, before it goes away?
It eases. I know I’m far more ‘normal‘ now than I have been in the past. But it’s still here, bleeding into the edges of things.
Raised voices distress me, always. Male voices raised in aggression leave me a quivering, volatile mess. I’m eternally grateful that The Most Amazing Man does not yell, ever, because I’m not sure I could handle it if he did.
Disagreements are an inevitable part of life, I think, no matter how calm and loving a relationship may be. But any kind of disagreement sets me on edge. I shrivel with anxiety inside and my heart thumps to a rhythm of “This is all my fault, all my fault, all my fault”, even when it’s not, even when it’s nobody’s fault, and just one of those things that happen, occasionally, even when you’re being very, very careful not to let it.
And sometimes I see things, from the corner of my mind’s eye. Things that I know aren’t real, but make me shudder violently none the less.
Still on edge from a disagreement, I walk past the laundry in The New House, and in my mind I see my worst nightmare. It’s just for a second, just for an irrational flash of time. I see The Most Amazing Man suspended from the ceiling, a rope around his neck. His posture crumpled in that odd way that nobody’s ever should be.
It’s not real, it’s not real, its not real. God willing, it’s not something I will ever see again for real.
But it’s so much ingrained in me. There’s a sinking suspicion, the tiniest thought, every time I argue with anyone. It comes to me unbidden, for the space of seconds– maybe they are dead. Maybe I will open this door and find them hanging there and my insides will be ripped apart and the horror, the awful awful horror in that.
There’s not much for it, except to ignore and remind myself not to internalise it. It’s part of me, not all of me, and it will only get better with time, with trust, with the this new sense of self and happiness that I think I’ve found.
I need to find myself a new shrink. Stat.
It disturbs me, how much it this has burned itself into me. How I can’t quite leave it behind. It hurts to see how much of an effect that couple of seconds have had on the rest of my life.
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
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October 13, 2013 at 11:14 am -
Oh Lori, when they say it eases with time, they never say how much time do they?
It’s better than it used to be, and it’ll keep getting better.
One day you’ll realise that you trust that it won’t happen again and it’ll just sneak up on you.You’re amazing. Every day, you are amazing. xxx
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October 11, 2013 at 3:34 pm -
Hon, your PTSD will eventually ebb. And your memories won’t be *so* sharp and jagged. Time will do that – a lot of time.
In the meantime, you are doing the very best you can and that’s enough. XXXX
- October 11, 2013 at 12:06 pm
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I wonder if you have what I do, and that’s difficulty with conflict? I think it came from my late Dad, a sensitive and gentle intellectual, who was too soft for the harsh realities of the world, and would shush all of us at dinner, if ever he thought the tone of the discussion was getting just a little warm. I grew up with a terrible inability to approach conflict, and either respond by being emotionally aggressive or else by an inner panic. I consciously try to approach disagreements with preventive strategies in place, but that often fails.
I suspect it’s very hard to overcome long-established habits and ways.
How was conflict in your world handled, when your emotions were at their formative stage? -
October 11, 2013 at 11:36 am -
Oh Lori – I don’t even have the words to express how sorry I am this pain is still with you.
Reading about it helps remind me that no matter how depressed I get with my Bipolar 2, I will fight to never do this to my husband and kids.
I hope you can get some help down in Melbourne soon xx
Michelle Holland recently posted…Anxiety and the Need to Pee - October 10, 2013 at 9:50 am
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Sweetheart that will never happen to you again, and I am so so sorry my son did this to you but you are becoming a very strong person and you are happy now so when you see that vision in your mind just shake your head and keep on walking singing or humming..
Remember me telling you way back then you will be happy one day again well I am tell you that will never every happen to you ever again.
Love you - October 9, 2013 at 11:20 pm
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Agree with you – really important. Does your doctor in NSW have recommendations / contacts? (might be good to have someone similar) – best wishes as you find the right one!
- October 9, 2013 at 10:48 pm
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Oh hun
*hugs*
Miss Pink recently posted…Dust Yourself Off -
October 9, 2013 at 3:29 pm -
I don’t think PTSD ever completely goes away. I’ve had it for 13 years now, and while the ‘symptons’ might appear to wane at times, it sometimes only takes something small to set it off again. It’s how you learn to react to a situation, and how you treat yourself that seems to have the biggest effect on the symptoms of PTSD, and yes – find yourself a good shrink STAT!
- October 9, 2013 at 1:59 pm
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Whoa.
That is heavy. I CAN’T FUCKING IMAGINE what it would be like to feel that, to fear that, to see it when it isn’t there. Isn’t it fucked that having insight into it doesn’t stop it from happening? I hope you find a good shrink close by soon. You shouldn’t have to carry this alone.
Whoa, Molly recently posted…Chernobleh
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The Not-Dead Bonsai. With Trains and Dinosaurs. – RRSAHM
The Not-Dead Bonsai. With Trains and Dinosaurs.
I’m more than chuffed to say that I didn’t kill Tony’s bonsai with my incessant hacking. It has reshot- tiny green spikes sticking out from between gnarled branches. Which means I breath an absolute sigh of relief.
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| Look hard… I promise there are tiny green shoots there. Really. |
It still feels like spring here in TinyTrainTown, which is close enough to Sydney to be included in it’s weather cycles. There are days of rain followed by humid but relatively mild heat. And plants shoot and grow and bloom in the natural greenhouse this weather creates, flourishing in the damp heat.
After admiring my handiwork- with my Gran’s voice saying ‘more by good luck than good management‘ ringing in my ears- I decided that the very prehistoric looking bonsai was the perfect place to show off the new addition to our ever growing toy collection….
… it’s a MegaBloks Dinosaur Train and it is way cool.
I mentioned a while back that there comes a point, as a blogger, where you stand in front of a table of really cool stuff and weigh up exactly how much your kids would love this toy? Well, this may have been the toy in question. And I certainly made the right choice- my kids , at two and four years old, have played with this for hours.
MegaBloks is a trusted brand amongst Aussie mums- affordable, durable, practical and usable; and they’ve recently acquired the license for some popular kids characters- Dora, Thomas, Hello Kitty and The Jim Henson Studio’s (yep, that’s the Muppets guy) Dinosaur Train.
This is a buildable train and station with no track. Only parents of train-obsessed littlies understand the absolute bliss contained in that phrase- ‘no track’. No track to fall apart, for the train to fall off, to cause general meltdowns. Win.
And the Dino critters with their little bobbly heads are way cute. Their little green drinks are even cuter. I’m actually tempted to pinch this one off the kids and leave him sitting in the bonsai… he looks good there.
Anyhoo. Dino Train gets a massive five outta five jellybeans on the RRSAHM-Ranking-Stuff-Scale.
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| Five from five. Nom nom. |
And so, for that matter, does my bonsai pruning skills.
Win. Win. Win. 2012, so far you and I get along OK.
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
- January 20, 2012 at 3:47 am
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Yay for bonsai and YAY for avoiding train track tantrums
- January 20, 2012 at 12:46 am
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i used to have one of those… i was terrible at trimming it, but when they grow in aren't they so beautiful?
- January 19, 2012 at 6:25 pm
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My son loves megabloks. His favourite are the plain blocks. He is nearly seven and he's spent more hours on them than anything else he's ever gotten. He builds elaborate cities, towering robots… When I think of all the money i wasted on other toys I cringe… should have just bought him more bloks!
Glad the bonzai is doing well!
- January 19, 2012 at 4:00 pm
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I hope 2012 is full of healing for you and yours.
- January 19, 2012 at 2:41 pm
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I think I can see a little sprout of green!
- January 19, 2012 at 9:46 am
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I also delight at the 'no track' trains. Sounds perfect!
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I hate when I miss your posts. I'm 6 days behind. But late congrats and score one for the women folk!
Step One – Man's a fan. Step Two – Oprah. You're halfway there.
Yay!!!! So you got it…. YAY!!!! Another victory for women in history….
Well I don't even try – my man is not on FB – and according to him never will be – nor does he read my blogs – even though I have given him an open invitation – Oh well he is soo good in all other areas I can overlook this one small flaw.
BOO-YEAH!!!
You're lucky. It took me about two years for lovely husband to click the "being married to me" on FB! xx
Haha, YAY!!
Is it ridiculous that my heart skipped a little when my man "liked" my FB Blog page????