Monthly Archives: May 2016

Bloggers, Gone Wild. – RRSAHM

Bloggers, Gone Wild.

by Lori Dwyer on September 21, 2012 · 18 comments

Every now and then I get an email that blows my mind. I’ve even got a Top Three Awesome Emails I’ve Opened list. The one where I got an offer to meet Abby Cadabby is on that list. So is an email I received about six months ago from a reader saying that watching me deal with the fall out of the After had given them the courage to come out to their family as transgendered.
And, to round out that top three in the most pleasant way, there’s the message I got from the Digital Parents Collective a few weeks back that said something like…

“Hi Lori, can you give me a call? Looks like we’ve got an opportunity for you to go to Borneo!”

And cue– hysterical giggling, Lori jumping around the house like a loon while her kids don’t even blink an eyelid because Mum is always carrying on crazy, and a sudden urge to poke my tongue out at anyone who ever told me that writing a blog is waste of my good time. (Ner ner, ner ner ner….)

Forget New York or Washington or wherever that big American blog thing is this year.

Bloggers… we’re going to Borneo.

It’s my immensely smug pleasure to announce that, through Digital Parents Collective and Orangutan Odysseys, I’m officially hosting the Bloggers to Borneo 2013 trip to Indonesia. In May of next year, I’ll be doing the nine day trip to Kalimantran in southern Borneo to view colonies of the endangered red ape living in the wild. I’ll be doing a twenty kilometer jungle trek through swamp. I get to visit the orangutan orphanage and see baby orangutans and even the thought of that almost causes me to hyperventilate with cute.

I’ll also be sleeping on a boat, spending fourteen hours on a plane and eating traditional Indonesian food.

I’m so excited I could pop and I want to be leaving tomorrow.

I’m also absolutely terrified, more so than I ever been in my life. (I mentioned the twenty kilometer jungle trek, right….?)

Orangutan Odysseys is an Australian–based travel company who work hand in hand with The Orangutan Project to conduct tours throughout Borneo and Sumatra, focusing on sharing the incomparable experience of viewing orangutans in their native habitat. It also addresses the growing problem that this habitat is rapidly disappearing as the forests of Indonesia are being stripped and logged to support the production of palm oil, an industry which also provides significant income to the local population. Orangutan Odysseys’ mission involves not only raising awareness of the beauty of orang utans and the need to conserve the jungle in which they live, but also expanding the economy and the tourist industry within the area so the local population have another means of income that doesn’t rely on the production of palm oil.

Now, here’s how it all works, jellybeans. To raise awareness of the plight of the orangutans and the work done by Orangutan Odysseys; I’m blessed enough to have my flight costs, travel insurance and the cost of my trip covered and complimentary. All funds raised over the next few months go directly to The Orangutan Project.

If every follower of this blog donates just one dollar, that equates to $3142. In that fashion that serendipity has of kicking in when you’re on the right track, the base cost of the trip I’ve been given is $3100.

It takes about two minutes to make a one off $1 donation and I promise* I will say hello to the orangutans for you. (*May not be actual promise.)

In addition to that, I’m quote stoked to extend a very special invitation to readers and bloggers alike. The particular trip I’m booked on is currently not being advertised to the general public. The goal is to fill the remaining eleven spaces available on the BloggersToBorneo trek with… well… you guys.

If you’d like to join me for nine days in Indonesia and the experience of a lifetime, you can book at any stage over the next few months through the Orangutan Odysseys Bloggers To Borneo page. Expressions of interest from those who’d like to come on board are welcome over at The Digital Parents Collective. There will be a forum on Digital Parents where we can chat all things orangutans and Indonesia; and discuss options for fundraising including potential corporate sponsorships and ways to source donations to help fund your trip. And, of course, we can all jump around and get really, really excited together.

I’ll be Tweeting, FBing, blogging and video blogging my way through the jungle just as much as the Internet allows me to; so everything I see and do and think and am unable to eat, you’ll get to experience too. And I’ll keep you updated over the next eight months while I swing wildly between manic excitement and cerebral panic.

This is all kinds of truly awesome and I am so grateful for what’s come my way. But I’ve never been overseas before. I hate to fly. I’m a bit of a princess. And anxiety kicks my arse, all the time.

I’m feeling all that fear, and doing it all anyway. I’d love for you to come, too. (Oh dear Lord, somebody please come and hold my hand…)

The only thing I’m really worried about is that, from what I hear, I’m lending my unique voice to the orangutans of Borneo.

One can only hope the orangutans are OK with that.

Keep up on Twitter using #BloggersToBorneo.

And don’t forget to donate your dollar– you absolutely will not miss it. All donations over $2 are tax deductible.
For my overseas readers- I adore that you guys are coming on board too, thank you so much!
>The Orangutan Project sends out a donation certificate if you
make a donation of $100 or more, but at the moment only post to Aussie
addresses. If you donate less than $100 or don’t need a certificate it’s
fine to add in your details but keep the country as is- if you like, add USA or UK or where ever you are located in the ‘State’ box.
And thanks again, jellybeans- you guys rock.

Leave a Comment

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Emma Joyce March 18, 2013 at 1:40 pm: Hi Lori , just clicked on your facebook and blog and thought I would introduce myself , Me and My mum are joining you on your Bloggers trip to Borneo. It has been a dream for such a long time (my mum and I travelled Africa together nearly 20 years ago I am 41 and my mum , 74!) I have 3 boys 4,6,8 and Im trusting my Dad and hubby to look after them ! Scary stuff . Anyway Ive read a little about you , wow what a journey ..amazing .I just cant wait to our trip in May and to meet Gary , the legend! Anyway see you in May – just cant wait! Orangutans , what beautiful creatures! Ill be in tears for the entire journey I think , with emotion!
Love a chat too , we will have fun Im sure! Cheers, Emma

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Bachelor Mum October 2, 2012 at 3:20 pm: What a fabulous opportunity for you. Sounds like it couldn't have happened to a nice blogger. I'm sure you will do the campaign good, and such a beautiful program to support. I want our kids' grandkids to be able to see them too.

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Lora September 29, 2012 at 11:25 pm: Do you have to be an Aussie blogger for this? Congratulations!!! Sounds AWESOME!!!

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Tash September 21, 2012 at 7:42 pm: Oh wow! What a fabulous opportunity! Look forward to reading all about it! (And will donate as soon as I am back on the employed list! Ha! Just got back from some travels myself….)

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Debyl1 September 21, 2012 at 6:13 pm: I am so happy this wonderful opportunity has come your way beautiful lady.
Who would have thought all your amazing urban discoveries would lead to overseas treks.
Cant wait to read all about your exciting adventures and beautiful project.xx

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Mary September 21, 2012 at 2:47 pm: Oh my, one of my good friends went to Borneo last year for an orangutan experience. I would love to go. We shall see!! What a time you will have!!

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Good Golly Miss Holly! September 21, 2012 at 2:36 pm: Holy shit Batman, this is UNREAL! xx

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Lori @ RRSAHM September 21, 2012 at 2:20 pm: Hi Jen D Thanks for asking! The Orangutan Project sends out a donation certificate if you
make a donation of $100 or more, but at the moment only post to Aussie
addresses. If you donate less than $100 or don't need a certificate its
fine to add in your details but keep the country as is. Perhaps you
could add "USA" in the 'state' box?

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Miss Pink September 21, 2012 at 12:58 pm: WAHHHH HOOO! I am so excited for you. I wish it were me!!! What a fantastic cause to get behind. A once in a lifetime opportunity.

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Jen D September 21, 2012 at 12:29 pm: Erm. Just tried to donate, but the only option for country is Australia. I'm in the US. Is there another option for us overseas folks?

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Sophie Allen September 21, 2012 at 12:28 pm: Amazing news!! I so want to jump on board, not sure how my hubby would appreciate 9 loooong days with the 4 boys though.

I really look forward to following your adventures!

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Jen D September 21, 2012 at 12:25 pm: That is amazing!

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woahmolly.com September 21, 2012 at 10:59 am: How awesome! I am so excited for you and a touch jealous, it sounds amazing!

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Lori @ RRSAHM September 21, 2012 at 10:52 am: Hey MM Not a silly question- all donations over $2 are tax deductible.

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edenland September 21, 2012 at 10:36 am: LORI THIS IS FANTASTIC!!! Bloody unreal. What an adventure … so glad you are doing this.

Off to donate now xx

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JB September 21, 2012 at 10:34 am: Congratulations Lori! How exciting. I just made a donation but the site wanted to charge me postage. I'm happy to donate the extra $6.60 but you might want to let them know. Thanks :):)

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Eccles September 21, 2012 at 6:08 pm: My belly's gone all jelly with excitement for you & I'm tingly ALL over with jealousy OMG OMG OMG – you're a lucky girl!!!
Babe, if you can trapeze, you can fly!! Hugs & squeels xx

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Madmother September 21, 2012 at 9:56 am: Stupid question, but are the donations tax deductible?

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Previous post: The Secret Garden- Australian Gothic, Part Two.

Next post: We Do OK.

Little Kids Wearing Make Up…. – RRSAHM

Little Kids Wearing Make Up….

by Lori Dwyer on April 4, 2012 · 40 comments

*Dum dum dum* (Insert dramatic look here.)

Make up for little kids. It sounds so suspect doesn’t it? Every mum I’ve mentioned this product to has, at first, stared at me, eyes wide in shock. I think they’re picturing four year olds in high heels and leather skirts, and I’m not even joking there. The sexualisation of children in the media is blatant and causes the kinds of problems that filter through every little crevice of society.

“Play make-up”, I reiterate hastily. “Like dress ups…?”

My daughter the Bump is two and a half years old and very much the girly girl. She insists on sleeping in her fairy wings and tiara, gets pouty if her hair isn’t done by a certain time in the morning and will only wear “pretty ballerina skirts”.

And she loves make up. Why not? She begin watching me, entranced, at the age of about eighteen months, sitting on a stool in the bathroom while I applied mascara, eyeliner and lip gloss. It was around the age of two that she started to insist on sharing the experience. And that lasted about two months before it got really un-cute and began to annoy just the tiniest bit. Which escalated in time with her demands for “More!”, and was capped off by the unenviable experience of dropping a child off at day care while she still had faint stains of red lipstick all over her face.

Evidently, I’m not the only one with this problem. An Aussie mum with two little princesses of her own has, bless her, come out with a set of totally child-friendly play make up called Pure Poppet. And, being awesome, she sent us some to try.

And we adore.

The full kit contains ‘perfume’- water and lavender in a tiny spray bottle; ‘lipstick’- colorless lip balm that tastes and smells yummy; six shades of powdered mineral make up that is nowhere near as messy as it looks; and some tiny sponges and eyeshadow applicators.

The mineral make up is the most awesome thing since the Internet. It’s a soft, loose powder designed to be shaken out a tiny bit at a time- you control how much they use- and it washes off with a face cloth and warm water. Like, really washes off. No faded remnants and no Twilight-style skin sparkles. It’s free from ‘Ferric Ferrocyanide, artificial dyes, FD&C; colours,talc, Carmine (also known as Cochineal), Bismuth Oxychloride, mineral oil (and its derivatives)and paraben preservatives.’ I do not have the faintest idea what that actually means, but I think it says that it’s got no nasty stuff in it and is perfect for sensitive toddler skins.

Now, before we all start with the “Won’t somebody please think of the boys?!” gender-specific toy panic… chillax. The Chop has just as much fun with the Pure Poppets set as we did. Mixed with a little bit of water, the mineral powders become a light, non-toxic face paint. Meet Choppa Smurf.

I used to face paint when I was clowning so I can tell you, quite honestly, that the Pure Poppets powders mixed with water are good– they look fantastic, feel smooth as silk, and come off easily.

I’ve made the executive parenting decision that this might be one of things that’s only a big deal if parents let it be- wanting to play dress ups, emulating the adults around them, it’s the most natural thing in the world for a child to do. And, really, what’s so bad about make up, when it makes you feel so good…?

The Bump gives Pure Poppet Play Makeup Kit four out of a possible five jellybeans. One eaten due to the expense of the pack (sad, but true…)

Anyway. Let the discussion begin, if there is to be one. If not, leave a comment anyway- that’s the way you win a Pure Poppet set for you and your little girls- or boys. Pure Poppet have mini Play Packs available, but I’ve got three of the full size Play Makeup Kits, valued at $39.95, for you lot to tussle over.

Here’s the t and c’s…

To enter this competition, leave a comment telling me what is your must-have item for your make up and why. Gentleman, your question is the same- use your imagination if you must.

The answer that amuses or confuses me the most wins. My decision is final and no discussion will be entered into.

This one’s open to Australian residents only, sorry OS peeps. Next time.

Entries open at Wednesday 4th April and close midnight Tuesday 17th April.

The winner will be announced via RRSAHM’s FaceBook page and Twitter feed, and probably in the newsletter as well. Winners will be emailed and have 48 hours to respond to that email,
or the prize will be redrawn.

Comments must have a valid email address to be included in this competition.

And that’s that. Tawdry, growing-up-too-fastness… or innocent dress up antics. It depends on how you skew your view of the world.

post signature

Leave a Comment

{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }

Spagsy April 18, 2012 at 11:06 pm: Lori, maybe I'm daft but where can I buy pure poppets? My must have item is a lip tint and gloss I got from the body shop in 2007 (don't judge) despite all the advice to throw make up away after a year this little ripper is like a bottomless pit!! A little goes a long way and i didn't have a word for it until reading a tweet where you talk about your lucky lippy. This is mine, it brightens me up people say and I just feel like struttin when I wear it… *Cue stayin alive*

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Anonymous April 15, 2012 at 7:31 pm: I have to pick ONE thing…. I NEED my foundation, powder, concealer, eye shadow, mascara, blush and lipstick on otherwise i look like one of the un-dead lol but if i have to choose one thing it would have to be my gold glitter eye shadow. My 2yr old loves it and rubs it all over her face. Its MINE *pouts* I don't like to share it lol. It gives my eyes a real lift and I don't look so spaced out anymore. My 2yr old girl and my 7yr old SON (yep son) love makeup. I try to sneak into the bathroom every morning and get my face on as quick a possible so i don't have to do their makeup for them as well. Always end up in a fight with my 7yr old, No you cant wear makeup to school lol
withinwords@bigpond.com

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Justine April 15, 2012 at 3:33 pm: Love everyone's tips on must have makeup items – if I can manage to remember them I might be able to improve my appearance somewhat! My must haves are eyelash tinting & eyebrow waxing – then when I don't have time for make up (always) I still look like ive tried! Mineral bronzer would be my next fav love the sound of this stuff! Great giveaway!
Justine dot Holmes at gmail dot com

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Justine April 15, 2012 at 3:31 pm: Love everyone's tips on must have makeup items – if I can manage to remember them I might be able to improve my appearance somewhat! My must haves are eyelash tinting & eyebrow waxing – then when I don't have time for make up (always) I still look like ive tried! Mineral bronzer would be my next fav love the sound of this stuff! Great giveaway!
Justine dot Holmes at gmail dot com

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MaliMali – Smile! :o) April 15, 2012 at 12:21 pm: Ohhh WOW!!! I have struggles for years ( I have 4 young girls) to keep their grubby little hands off my MAC Makeup – NO BODY touches the MAC except me! (My obsession) ha ha What I would do to win this awesome gift!!! And the added bonus of no nastys for their little skin – it would be heaven in a box and many hours of glamorous FUN.

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Cath April 15, 2012 at 12:07 pm: I love this … I have twin 6 yr old girl who would die for this!!!

My to die for make up is Nutrimetics Nutri-Rich Body Satin it is this gorgeous spray can of moisturiser and it has a little shimmer to it as well it always makes me feel soooo pretty when I have it on …

C xxx

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donna Jones April 12, 2012 at 9:28 am: Color the little Miss happy… like a rainbow according to her

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wjcsydney April 7, 2012 at 5:01 pm: My must have make up item is Mirenesse mascara. I have been "blessed" with stumpy blonde eyelashes. Without mascara I look like I am currently having chemo. Mirenesse washes off in water.. love love love love it…

My now-17 year old barely wears makeup, apart from a little eye pencil. She has her dad's long dark lashes… and she was never into it as a small girl either.

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Georga April 5, 2012 at 11:31 pm: Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for their great feedback and thoughts on Pure Poppet. We have lots of safe, dressing up fun play makeup and face paint in the range with lots more planned. An even bigger thank you to RRSAHM for a wonderful and honest review, we are so pleased you enjoyed the products and really appreciate your support.

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Youna April 5, 2012 at 9:03 pm: As strange as it might sound, my 'must-have' make-up is a tube of Rectinol haemorrhoid cream. I dab a bit under my eyes if I've had a big night, and it instantly reduces puffiness. Combined with Clinique eye concealer, and bags are banished (at least until you take your make-up off).

My 5-year old would absolutely adore this giveaway

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Anonymous April 5, 2012 at 7:51 pm: Well, I know my 4 yr old daughter would love her own makeup set as I have none in the house because I don't wear any (I know, shock horror !) She waits until she visit's her Grandma and then does the girly make-up thing at her house. Grandma has introduced her to the blush & lipstick so far …. such a cute little bonding experience for them.
dagsnkel@gmail.com

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sarah braaksma April 5, 2012 at 5:11 pm: I like watching my girl play dress ups.. its all in good fun!!

A red head must have mascara AT ALL TIMES!! lol!!

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BuTTeRfLy BaBy BluE April 5, 2012 at 3:38 pm: When i was a little one, Mum told me never use her makeup as it would give me pimples. I snuck in and used it…and she was right!!
Although back then there were way many more nasties in make up products.
My must have is eyeliner and mascara i love it!!
On the other hand my grandaughters absolute favorite is black texta, its nasty lol. She must have a stash somewhere because we try and keep them from her but she always seems to find the strays.

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Claire April 5, 2012 at 7:15 am: What a fabulous kit! My make up fave has to be mascara – anything which means I look more awake on a dreary November Thursday *has* to be worth it!

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Wanderlust April 5, 2012 at 1:03 am: Those pictures of the Bump are adorable! My daughter does the same thing — puts makeup all over her face! And why not?

Hope I'm not messing up your system by leaving a comment on a giveaway I'm not eligible for!

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Pipsqueak April 4, 2012 at 11:00 pm: I'd love to win so that I'm no longer forced to share ( or pretend to share, depending) my supplies.
My current can't leave the house without product is my vanilla and tonka bean perfume simply 'cos it smells yummy ( and yes I'm closer to 40 than 4!).

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Melissa April 4, 2012 at 9:22 pm: Bahaha! "Choppa smurf" made me laugh this morning. I can't enter – as I live in the US, but for your amusement purposes only – my favorite/most necessary beautifying item is Garnier nutrisse Ultra lift daily targeted wrinkle treatment – which I apply between my eyebrows prior to the application of foundation – it miraculously smooths out that "irritated/frustrated" mama furrow that has formed there these last 4 years.

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Salz DummySpit April 4, 2012 at 8:30 pm: my toddler loves make up. how do i know u say. well after going out by my self, which rarely happens, i bought a bunch of make up to top up my stash. lipstick, eye shadow, eye liner. walk into my room and its all gone where? all over the toddler. i mean all my red lipstick eye shadow on the floor drawings with the eye liner. i had to replace them all again.

so to your question the product i love is eye liner. need to have that to make your eyes pop.

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Jodie April 4, 2012 at 8:21 pm: Love, Love, Love this! Every little girl needs to experience "dressing up" along side mum, complete with powders. My little Miss 4 Loves playing "dress ups" and "Hairdressers" but as a sufferer of eczema i don't allow her to "apply" make up. I refuse to buy her nasty play make up full of nasties that will literally make her skin crawl! As much as she wants it, she understands this. The pretty packaging sans the disney princesses is a big bonus too!!
As for the routine/product i can't live without well, I don't wear a lot of make up but with fair red lashes I get a eyelash tint every 5 weeks or so, so I can quite literally just moisturise and walk out the door

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The Mummy Hat April 4, 2012 at 7:53 pm: If I were to be serious, I would have to say I can not live without my NATIO Ageless Primer. Makes my make-up last all day and into the night.

If I were to be deadly serious I would have to say these days, I can not leave the house without some liquid illuminator to brighten up my dead tired eyes and disguise the blank stare across my face as I weigh the pros and cons of sneaking an afternoon nap in…

6 weeks until Princess #2 arrives and the combination of pregnancy insomnia and exhaustion has left me drained. On the positive side, I've had plenty of time to check out Zoe Fosters tutorials on how to make myself look smoking hot for my two kids as I change dirty nappies, marvel at how beautiful my daughter is and wonder if I'll have to put out in exchange for the hubster cooking dinner…

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Sarah April 4, 2012 at 4:26 pm: Nothing, cos I'm pretty enough without makeup. Bahahahahahahaha. I'm also hilarious, but you already knew that

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Anonymous April 4, 2012 at 3:09 pm: My must have item is my Kabuki makeup brush, a necessity to apply mineral foundation.
The trouble with it is that my kids seem to have a special connection to this brush also (which means it often 'magically' disappears for short periods of time). It's so little and cute, as well as being soft, fluffy and gingery in colour. I believe that because of those characteristics, they have been led into thinking that it is a PET of ours (a very well mannered one at that) which needs to be taken care of. Downside is, some mornings i just can't find it to put my makeup on. Upside is,
no need to ever get a cat or dog
Lee (lnjenkins@bigpond.com)

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Cherie April 4, 2012 at 3:06 pm: My Niece would die for this!
My must have makeup item is my car rearview mirror for without it I would never be able to put my makeup on during my one and a half hour drive to work every morning.

Cherie (cherie_ryan@hotmail.com)

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Amanda Hardy April 4, 2012 at 3:00 pm: *grins* The competition ending before it finishes fits in excellently with the surreal nature of my child induced sleep deprivation.

My boy is now two and a half, so just learning to make his own sentences of things I've never told him that pop out of nowhere.

One of the first times he used this new skill was to tell him "Mum, you forgot your eyebrows".

I used to be blonde, but when my hair went dark as a teenager my lashes and brows didn't follow, so I have blonde eyebrows and use an eyeliner to give them definition. If I don't I suffer the indignity of my two year old telling me I'm walking out without my eyebrows on.

Amanda (taliana42@hotmail.com)

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Miss Pink April 4, 2012 at 1:54 pm: I was actually sent the pitch for this, and didn't respond because I was all "But I have boys :(" And I am NOT one of those mum's, my kids have a doll house and live in their toy kitchen and we have tea party's all the freaking time, but I was like "This isn't even worth the fight with Mr Black, I let them put on a little of my Mac eyeshadow, and my lipgloss when he's not home, I can't slip a kids make up kit past him".
I'm really bummed now because I didn't have the imagination or foresight to think of using it as a facepaint! (Now that I CAN justify!)

I love makeup and have lots that I really enjoy, but the one thing that gets used multiple times a day is my Maybelline Babylips Lipgloss. It's so yummy, it's clear and not sticky or overly greasy, and it doesn't clog my pores. WIN!

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Mandi April 4, 2012 at 12:56 pm: This would be the best Easter present for Miss 6 who loves to do lips & nail polish! I have been looking around for something that's not toxic & leaves that horrid pinky red tinge for days after being removed! (hello Barbie) this looks lovely & skin friendly as my little miss gets a rash from some baby wipes if we wipe her face with them!
My must have make up product is my Napoleon Perdis camera finish as it makes my skin look fantastic & smooth with a lovely natural colour!
Bad_girl1971@hotmail.com

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SJ April 4, 2012 at 12:46 pm: I don't leave home without using my beloved concealer-the bags are mighty!! My boys would enjoy playing dress-ups with the makeup, think of the mess they could create

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Denwise aka Denyse Whelan April 4, 2012 at 10:21 pm: I got some of the sample packs and passed them. Onto another mama blogger… I had no idea of the great packs … I would like to win one of these for my, ahem, grandkids who are here twice a week. The dress up suitcase has all kinds of bits n pieces but not face paint & makeup.
Here's my essential item.
MY GLASSES!! without putting them on to check my makeup I have no idea of how much or little I've applied.
Love the pics of the kids. Kids having fun in a safe. & imaginative way. Go you!

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she-sleeps-here April 4, 2012 at 11:44 am: Although I'm the mum of 1-soon-to-be-2 boys (and thus unlikely to need it in my own household – though you never know….), this product looks great and I have a couple of friends with little girls who luuurve dressing up so this would get me in their good books

My must-have makeup product is good quality removal wipes, otherwise I'm left with raccoon eyes for days. And honestly, who wants to spend ages after you get home from your big night out (which usually come far and few between as it is) trying desperately to scrub off those last traces of your (likely childless) good time when you know the kids will be up at 6am and oh god, it's midnight already?

Lys

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Kylie April 4, 2012 at 11:40 am: My must have is remover! I'm not a big make up wearer and like to take it off as soon as possible – something that endlessly disappoints my girly girl aged 6. BTW – I'm sure the competition doesn't end 17 March….

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Claire Chadwick @ Scissors Paper Rock April 4, 2012 at 10:27 am: What a brilliant product. My Miss 4 has just {in the past 6 months} become obsessed with makeup. When it's all fun & games & for dressups, I think it's wonderful fun for them.
As for me…my must have item is a splash of mascara to jazz up my sleep deprived eyes & a coat of lip gloss. I rarely leave the house without a quick application of these 2 babies
Great giveaway x

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Samantha Mawdsley April 4, 2012 at 10:20 am: My must have make up item is mascara. I NEVER leave the house without it. That's often my entire make up regime, but I always take pride in my presentation. I think it's important. My idea of "dressing up" is putting stuff that isn't mascara on, like lipstick & powder. I never put foundation on because I have freckles & it looks ridiculous to try & cover them up.
I have a two year old goddaughter who I plan to impart the wisdom of more is less & putting a full face of make up on is just for fun, not for substituting a positive self-worth.

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dachlostar April 4, 2012 at 10:11 am: My must have for makeup is my mirror because if I don't have one it looks like my children have done my makeup for me. Not good.

The other must have is nail polish remover. I'm out at the moment so my son had to go to school today with blue glittery nail polish. He was last seen going into class with his hands deep in his pockets.

Letting kids play dress-up with makeup is fun not sexualisation. Doing it for them so they look like they stepped off the set of Toddlers and Tiaras is just plain wrong.

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Sharon @ Funken Wagnel April 4, 2012 at 9:47 am: I am extremely against sexualisation of children (stay with me!) but I do like to look at makeup as simply dress-ups as well.

Sexualisation of kids is a problem, but really, I think makeup is the least of our worries. It's fun to express yourselves.

I would have to say that my must-have item for my makeup is my napoleon foundation brush. I always had issues putting my foundation on properly before this, then saw a youtube tutorial, bought myself this brush and now it looks almost airbrushed when I put foundation on. It looks lighter, wastes less foundation and looks younger than if I'd just done it with my fingers.

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rex April 4, 2012 at 9:29 am: Bloody brilliant post.

I wear very little make-up but my 4 year old has been obsessed about it since she was 2. So a year or so ago I went on the hunt for PLAY make-up. it was so hard to find any. But eventually found a natural brand from somewhere but it was just 5 different lightly coloured sticks which did not really satisfy her imaginative needs.

So pleased to see a child friendly set here. I also have no probs with the dress up and make up for kids as long as it does not come in the form of a barbie or Hanna Montana shrouded item.

So in conclusion I have not really entered the comp, but I am so pleased to see a cool product such as this. So will have to order my own for her next birthday.

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Teresa Lawrence April 4, 2012 at 8:53 am: What a wonderfully sensible article. You are obviously painfully aware of the fear of the sexualization children so prevalent now and being able to model healthy behaviour for them.

Using make up has been going on forever. The Red Tent (fab book) makes reference to using it in Biblical times – not that I'm religious, don't panic! But what I mean is, it's something we all do; a ritual. In Africa, in India, in Asia, in Australia….Having grown up in the 70s, I had a dreaded fear of the unnaturalness of using make up. Until I finally got sick of walking around with zits on my face that I could have easily have covered up with a bit on concealer!

My favourite make up staple these days? My Nars blusher called Orgasm. It's beautiful and makes me feel so too.

Cheers and thanks for a great piece.

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Ai Sakura April 4, 2012 at 8:48 am: Nooooo! Too bad it is just for Aussie residents!
My Lil girl would definitely love this! Haha
She watches make-up tutorials on YouTube almost everyday :p

Ai @ Sakura Haruka

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LOUISE April 4, 2012 at 8:44 am: What a fabulous idea, my 4 year old daughter and 2 year old son harass me every morning whilst I apply my make up, so I have to pretend to do their faces too. Amazing how much joy it brings to their little faces applying a tiny dab of gloss to their lips. Gutted I live in the UK so can't enter this competition x

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Christina Johnston April 4, 2012 at 3:02 pm: Ooh what a fabulous review!!!

I have yet to find an appropriate play make up for my 2 year old princess!

My must have makeup item sadly doesn't exist. But if it did it would be a magic applicator that could make me up in under 5 minutes and ensure my cheeks aren't too rougey, that my eyeshadow doesnt look like ugly splodges and my lipstick isn't too ridiculous. So while I wait for this to be invented I shall continue to use mascara and colour free gloss – safe and versatile!

chris@cjtiling.com.au

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Tara @ Our Whirlwind Adventures April 4, 2012 at 12:36 pm: I am so entering this one, and not for my darling Miss E either, as although she loves make-up, she much prefers to draw 'tattoos' on herself with texta to be like her Dad.

This one would suit Master S to a tee!
I'm a big nail polish lover, but unfortunately due to work I'm not allowed to wear it, so I painted my toenails regularly just to keep my feet looking happy.
Since becoming morbidly whale like courtesy of pregnancy, I have found a willing participant in my need to be polished and my beautiful son paints my toenails (and my feet/legs) while I paint his. It's fantastic and I'd love to win this for him… and so I can't paint him up beautifully. HAHAHAHA

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Previous post: Melted.

Next post: Shed Five, Part One.

Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Falling Into Place

Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Reckless?

Random Ramblings of a SAHM: You did it how many times???

Random Ramblings of a SAHM: For Any Mother Who May Pass This Way (Nothing funny about this post, folks)

Six Word Memoirs – RRSAHM

Six Word Memoirs

by Lori Dwyer on March 10, 2010 · 1 comment

Mushi mushi,

I’ve been thinking about this one for days now. It started with a post on Second Wind. Have a read, I promise it’s entertaining. I thought it was a challenge I could easily take on- to write my own memoirs, in six words. The story of my life, condensed.

As usual, it was harder than I thought it would be. And I’m not as clever as I think I am. I’ve discovered that’s a recurring theme on this blog.

Firstly, here is the Man’s contribution.

Please insert more money now.

Haha, very funny, Man. Pity that is five words, not six. Idiot.

Here are my efforts. They range from the sublime to the ridiculous.

A not quite, almost perfect fairytale.

Bad habits revisited, over and again.

If only I got more sleep…

Mostly mediocre, some moments of brilliance.

Sometimes things are hard- not always.

Best things are free. ‘Cept cigarettes.

Nothing to see here, move on.

But I think the one that sums me up the best is-

More fun than you might think.

And if you want to know what the picture of the baby shoes is all about… you’ll just have to read the original post I linked to… won’t you…?

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Sarah March 10, 2010 at 3:16 pm: Oooh I like this, going to have to give it a try

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Previous post: Random notes from the Man

Next post: Well, that was unexpected.

Retro RRSAHM- Who Reads This Stuff, Anyway? – RRSAHM

Retro RRSAHM- Who Reads This Stuff, Anyway?

by Lori Dwyer on December 28, 2011 · 9 comments

Many moons ago, I guest posted at The Mother Media. I love this post- loved it then, loved it now. It goes a long way toward explaining this social media addiction of mine. I believe my shrink would call that ‘self serving justification’. Undeniably true… but this post holds a lot of truth in it, too.

When I reveal to people in my Real Life that I write a blog, there are two very common questions I’m asked. The first is “What’s a blog?”. After I finish explaining that and assure them that I am not, in fact, a geek, I usually get asked,

“Who reads this stuff, anyway?”

And the answer to that question is slightly more complex.

In short, the demographic of readers for most ‘mummy blogs’ is other mums, other dads, other women and men; at home or at work; with kids or without. The demographic for my blog is, specifically, other women, other mums, at home, with kids.

Most ‘mummy bloggers’ will confess that, at one point or another, their husband has told them to “Get off that damn computer!”. Things have changed. Where my mum, at home, 20 years ago, would have watched a midday movie and chatted on the phone to a friend, trailing 20 feet of phone cable behind her so she could house-work while she chatted; in the year 2010 mums log onto FaceBook, Twitter, forums and blogs while our children are sleeping or playing outside. Loneliness is less of a problem for stay at homes mums in this technological age. We have the blessed advantage of being able to go online and log on to a social life when we can’t leave the house.

It’s an accepted sociological fact that women are communal creatures. Surely, you’ve wondered why women go to the bathroom in pairs…? That’s just how our brains are wired. We like to chat, to gossip, to form friendships, networks and social circles. While we all know this can lead to catty in-fighting by immature people, for the most part, the communal, sharing women of nature brings us strength and solidarity. It’s in the nature of women to share and swap stories, ideas and experiences.

And all of this becomes even more important once we have kids.

A hundred years ago, human beings in the western world were intensely tribal creatures, much more than what we are now. The 21st century has seen most women go back to work, and families move vast distances from one another. While again, this has it advantages (especially the families-at-vast-distances bit), it also means that women are often lacking the family network that once existed. There are no grandmothers at home to help pick up the slack of a mum with a newborn. There isn’t a neighbor next door with small children, who you can laugh with, who’ll reassure you the worst will soon pass.

In this day and age, mums get all that online.

We turn to FaceBook and Twitter to share casual conversations and day to day events with those in the same situation as us. We log on to parenting forums for advice on breastfeeding, discipline and sleeping problems.

We use our blogs to vent our frustrations, to celebrate our triumphs, to engage our adult selves in a place more creative than our lounge rooms. We read the blogs of others to feel enlightened, to gain perspective, to learn, to share and to grow.

These blogs, these online social networks that we form, they serve as our community of like-minded women, as our social circle of writers, mentors and other mothers. The traditional model of women in society has changed, and we are grasping for something to steady ourselves.

The Internet becomes our community. It’s real, it’s powerful. And the bonds we form here can be as strong as those formed In Real Life.

Who reads this stuff, anyway? Other women, other men, other mother, other dads. Other bored, frazzled parents, who are reaching out for something more.

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Mirne January 30, 2012 at 11:19 pm: My husband and I live in Europe, whilst our families (parents and siblings) live in Australia and New Zealand. Two of our three children were born and died here in Europe. Our support has come only from "on-line" friends. It continues to come primarily from on-line. One of my older friends, who disappears frequently for years at a time, wrote to me recently via email, that the deaths of our children is not something that can be discussed via email or the internet. I was stunned. So what he really means to say is that he does not want to discuss our dead children, because it's not like we hear from him or see him more than once or twice a decade!!

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Amba @ Team Mummy January 2, 2012 at 8:36 pm: I really love this post. I think you hit the nail on the head, really! I feel so much less alone just from FB and blogging

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Just Me January 1, 2012 at 7:53 am: I agree…I love having other people out there I can relate to, look to advice for or just some entertainment to help me smile on those days where I didn't think possible.

Love your blog, so glad I found it this year. Happy New Year Lori, hope the year brings health and joy.

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Cassondra December 29, 2011 at 3:51 am: And some of us aren't even parents, just folks looking for a sense of community.

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Mr Justme December 28, 2011 at 5:37 pm: I only have myself to blame for creating my wife's online obsession, but then I'm cool with that given my geeky leanings

While I might not be the target audience, I still enjoy reading.

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Miss Pink December 28, 2011 at 1:22 pm: I love this.

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Lisa December 28, 2011 at 11:51 am: Great post Lori! When thinking about starting my blog over a year ago the first thing I wondered was would anyone actually read it? It is surprising how much we enjoy reading what others have to say. Or maybe it isn't.

Blogging is like the modern-day office water cooler. We gather around to have a chat!

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Good Golly Miss Holly! December 28, 2011 at 5:06 pm: Yeah so a big fuck you to anyone who thinks mummy bloggers aren't cool

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Catherine Dabels December 28, 2011 at 12:11 pm: The internet becoming our community? It's so true.

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Previous post: Retro RRSAHM- The Something.

Next post: Retro RRSAHM- Lori Misplaces Something Very Important

The Worst That's Been Said? – RRSAHM

The Worst That’s Been Said?

by Lori Dwyer on June 21, 2011 · 26 comments

I was asked this question on my FormSpring quite a while back. I thought I’d blog the answer- it seemed to require too much of an explanation for a tiny FormSpring box.

***

Of all the things people have accused you of since Tony’s death, what has been the most painful to you? What has played on your mind the most? And has there been anything that while harsh you’re happy someone said it because it helped you?

I have to wonder where this question comes from… someone’s guilty conscious? Whatever, I don’t suppose it matters.

There have been so, so many things that have been hurtful. Being accused of causing Tony’s death, of being such a horrible person that he caused him to kill himself.. being accused of that by someone very close to him? That hurt. Unforgivably.

But I think, all along, it’s been any insinuation that I haven’t been caring for my children properly. Any suggestion that their welfare was not my main concern. Because, while I was trying to protect them, people were accusing me of hurting them, ignoring them… and I guess that hurt so much because I was doing those things too-hurting them, and ignoring them. But I was just trying to get myself back into some kind of normal place, before I went back to them.

A weak excuse, hey? I know it sounds like one. But I guess it’s not so much about me, it’s about a lot of us- isn’t our worth as mothers, when our children are small, worth more than that of our own? My children’s short term happiness and mental health was put before my own long term mental health.

But that seems to be just what we expect mums to do. Sacrifice, until there’s not much left to parent with, at all.

The other consideration, that was not so much hurtful as downright annoying, was- and is- patronising advice on what I should be doing, how I should be feeling, from people who haven’t experienced any kind of grief, trauma, or that awesome combination of both that eventually molds into PTSD. There are no words to describe how soul crushing it is, trying to survive, and having people patronise you.There were quite a few times I really felt the need to punch people in the face, but didn’t have the freaking energy to do so.

So.. that’s that.

Anonymous questions always welcome.

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{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

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citygirlblogs July 6, 2011 at 10:30 am: I wish that people got it or were at least more compassionate. I'm surprised that someone would ask that question and shocked that anyone would question your parenting or how you're processing *your* grief. I admire your honesty and your strength.

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Just Jennifer June 24, 2011 at 10:13 am: I love that you blogged this. Honest and real and straight from your heart. Rather than point their fingers and accuse you of things, perhaps people should just sit down and talk with you. Just ask you how you're doing and if there's anything they can do to help. But I suppose it's easier to simply stand back and pass judgement.

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Annabellz June 23, 2011 at 1:54 pm: I always feel I have no right to speak here on your blog because well… I don't know you. But I can't keep my fingers cold here and not just tell you again how much personally you mean to a world that needs to hear the truth of grief, mental illness and the pain suicide causes. The aftermath. Struggled with this with a family member… oh god the cruelty of those who just don't want to feel. Finger pointing and evil angry words. Insinuation. God heals all wounds and hopefully wounds all heels.

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Rachel June 22, 2011 at 9:50 pm: I have very much wanted to punch some people on your behalf. Very, very much. I am not a violent person but some of the things people said to you – and by 'friend's' and 'family' were frankly fucking disgraceful and decidedly worthy of a serious smack in the mouth.
xxx tpc

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Lynda Halliger-Otvos June 22, 2011 at 4:53 pm: Lori, much of what I would say to you has been said by the commenters above-take care of you. Fuck people with malice thoughts about you and how you run your life; and those with pejorative questions designed to make you feel bad. Hugs are coming over the oceans to you from California and the Redwood Trees.

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Mum to a Miracle June 22, 2011 at 12:55 pm: I always give people benifit of a doubt, telling myself they meant well but it just came out wrong or they just opened their mouth without thinking. Not those fuckers who said that though. There is no other way for those things to be taken. No other way to read it. I saw an article "10 things not to say to a NICU/ Premmie parent" and one of them was "What did you do that made this happen?" and I couln't understand how someone even thinks that way either, (and thankfully no-one asked me in that way)… surely its pretty fucking obvious that some things are just out of our control??? Maybe there needs to be a "10 things not to say to a grieving/ traumatised parent" too

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Sweet Little Birdy June 22, 2011 at 12:12 pm: Oh Lori, Can so relate hun… I just love how the people with these opinions have never gone through the tragedy of it… my personal favourite is when they start a sentence with "I dont know how you do it, if it was ME…blah blah blah". ('I wouldnt survive', I wouldnt be able to get out of bed' etc etc) But that's in their fantasy world, not the real stark one…

I lost 12 months of seeing my children grow. I toilet trained a 2 year old and dont remember doing it. I look at photos from that time and dont remember being there. I was on auto-pilot. But not once ever did I stop loving my children or meeting their basic needs. NOT ONCE!

And you know what, almost 5 years later they are beautiful well-adjusted happy and delightful children…

So to all the opinioned people may you never have to eat your words, but some compassion and understanding would be nice x

Great post Lori x

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Jodie Ansted June 22, 2011 at 10:13 am: I love what Kim said..you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of your kids.

I'm sure there are people who really didn't mean to upset you and thought they were helping. Apart from the few 'anon' comments you got…most I'm sure who come here really feel for you and want you to recover and be well.

Including me.

Virtual hugs to you, hon.

xxx

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Vicky June 22, 2011 at 9:54 am: Want to give you a big squishy hug Lori …

Just keep walking – one step at a time. And rest when you need to.

lots of love,Championing you from the side lines
Vicky xxx

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Karen June 22, 2011 at 8:37 am: OMG…I hope I have never been or sounded patronising…. I would hate myself if I were on your list.

Indeed I have experienced terrible trauma, grief, close to suicide myself in the late 90s….I hope what I may have commented on was not taken the wrong way. GOD I HOPE NOT!!

Maybe I'll just read from now on and silently support you. xx

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Corinne – Daze of My Life June 22, 2011 at 8:01 am: It still astounds me that people had the gall to say you were responsible for Tony's death. I just can't even begin to fathom where that thought even comes from.

In regards to your children, I was going to say what Kim has. You can't care properly for someone when you're not at your best.

You're there with your kids now, giving them the best life you can. That's all that matters.
xx

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Adalita June 22, 2011 at 6:41 am: Some people are rude, unsupportive and plain disgusting. How could people ask you that? How can a mother help her kids first if she can't focus on anything? I think you did what was best for you at the time and anyone who critises you for it is a horrible person without sympathy.

I love your blog, you have strength you didn't know you had. Your writing is beautiful and you way to deal with your grief. I will continue to send out good vibes to you as you do your best! That is all any of your true readers expect.

Hugs love ADA!
(I'll join you in punching those haters)

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Jean June 22, 2011 at 6:39 am: Sometimes people say stupid things coz they don't know what else to say. sometimes they just say plain nasty things tho…things that can inflict deep damage.
Shame on that person for being so cruel.
XXX

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Sandy June 22, 2011 at 3:30 pm: Because I believe things happen for a reason, I like to think that you had the AMAZING, WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, HEALTHY relationship you had with Tony in the Before so that you could become the STRONG, SOLID, STABLE, WISE, CENTERED person you are.
While it's true that Tony is the one who put you in this heart-wrenching position, he did help you become someone who would find a way to handle it, even without either of you realizing it.

Of course I feel for you, more than words… which is why I check your blog everyday all the way from TEXAS…. but I have never felt that you neglected your children at any point. Nor have I ever doubted your love for him, even when you say you're mad at Tony from time to time—that's normal. And even though I've only got your side of the story to go on, I've never thought of Tony as bad guy.
I think he made a selfish decision, but I think it must have been made by an injured, or wounded mind that was in a very sad, desperate place.
I do understand relationships take two, and neither of you were angels, but no one is. I don't believe for a second ANYONE can cause someone to take their own life. We are all responsible for our own behaviour.

You're doing beautifully, Lori. Be assured of that.

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Eccles June 22, 2011 at 2:36 pm: Short story, made long. Picture this, it's summer in Melbourne. So it's hot – bloody hot. Walk through a carpark to see a crowd of onlookers staring into a car that is parked, you guessed it, in full sun. Mum's nowhere to be seen & there's an about 6 month old baby in the back seat, screaming her little lungs out. Onlookers are trying to shade the back window as best they can, someone FInally calls the fire brigade & then Mum is spotted walking, ever so slowly, up the hill. Until, da da da dunn, she sees the crowd and realises we're all huddled around her car & there's a siren in the background. Mum sprints up the hill, opens the car & gets bub out to the many (female) voices of "tut tut" & "How could you leave your baby" etc. You get the drift. Mum sat in the car breastfeeding bub, whilst a kind mum helped by holding cooled (not cold) water on bubs neck to help cool & calm bub down. (There was more tut tutting about the water as well…) This kind mum with the water, was the only mum to come back when the crowd had dispersed & ask the bubs mum "Is there someone at home to look after YOU". Bub's mum was shocked that anyone showed concern for HER.
So Lori, as Kim said (& I will shout this…) TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST!!! You keep doing whatever it is you have to do & we'll all keep virtually holding you up for as long as you need (& then some) (X)

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Good Golly Miss Holly! June 22, 2011 at 12:21 pm: Fuck the haters, fuck them right in the ear x

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Mary June 22, 2011 at 10:55 am: I was told to my face that I was selfish when I went away for a month on my own after things turned to shit a couple of years ago.

The need to have time to myself was so overwhelming – so necessary – and it did help me to do what Kim said on my return.

Fuck the naysayers and the horses they ride in on. They really have no idea.

x

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Mich June 21, 2011 at 11:54 pm: Bugger.

Blogger just ate my comment as well.

But anyway, ironically, just before I turned on twitter and saw your link, I was going to ask you the same question.

I'm so glad that you an the babes are finding some sort o normalcy in Paradise.

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Daisy, Roo and Two June 21, 2011 at 11:38 pm: I can see how that would be the worst thing and the one hardest to forget. I think that would be the one on my mind as well. Lori, since I've been reading your blog I have been so impressed and overwhelmed by your strength, your warmth and the love with which you speak about your children. You have done all that is in your power to do for them, and continue to do so.

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A Daft Scots Lass June 21, 2011 at 11:32 pm: Its bound to happen with a bunch of opinionated bloggers out there.

You are wearing your heart on your sleeve by blogging about the incident, your grief, your feelings, your experiences.

I need to commend you on that. Not everyone would feel the strength to blog about it all and open themselves up to easy criticism.

I think you're very brave and a wonderful woman.

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kim at allconsuming June 21, 2011 at 11:31 pm: GODDAMIT, blogger just ate my comment.

Basically I was saying it's the tried and true analogy of the airport safety message, fit your oxygen mask before those in your care.

You did what was right in the most trying of circumstances. That you didn't punch someone in the head is miraculous.

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Anthony from CharismaticKid June 21, 2011 at 11:15 pm: Wow, I can't believe someone said that. Horrible people out there.

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Hear Mum Roar June 21, 2011 at 11:13 pm: I always get paranoid that I'm going to say something terrible, so if I ever have, I'm so sorry and didn't intend to:)

I found it really frightening seeing the way some people were treating you in the earlier days. I can't fathom it

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Madmother June 22, 2011 at 7:48 am: Am happy to punch anyone you want me too.

Am also available for cutting remarks, ego destruction and verbal abuse (whilst still remaining witty). xx

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Crystal Cheverie June 21, 2011 at 9:33 pm: It really is shocking to me how some people think they have the right to tell you what to do, especially when you're going through something like this, but even when you're not. As for the – ahem – people who were accusing you of causing Tony's death or not being a good mother, I really hope Paradise has given you distance from them so you can get some peace.

Much love as always.

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Previous post: Fishing.

Next post: Grieve Quietly.

April 2011 – RRSAHM

April 2011

Welcome To My Head.

by Lori Dwyer on April 30, 2011 · 29 comments

I wish I could articulate, properly, what’s it’s like to be inside my head right now.

Most days…. I do OK. Just OK. I enjoy little things. I think a lot. I listen to music.

I mourn.

Other days…

It’s like my mind is trying to put on a hat, and my head is just too big for it.

I was so used to life, as it was….

Tony and I, we were one of those couples- I’m sure there’s plenty of you- for whom divorce just wasn’t a real option. We were in it together, through everything. We adored being married.

I loved my plain, simple, gold band wedding ring. And it hurts me not to wear it.. but the presence of it, it sears my finger, and I find myself playing with it, reminding myself without meaning too.

Do you remember, when you were little, and you lost a tooth… pushing your tongue into the soft hole that was left, hurting but feeling strangley good, because it’s a sensation you’ve never felt before?

Welcome to my head. When I think about my husband. It makes me deliriously happy, to remember the Before, the perfect little family we had…. but it’s just damn sad, it takes my breath away.

Imagine the cornerstone of your life, the thing you depend upon and plan around.. suddenly it’s gone, with no warning.

And every time you picture the rest of your life, you have to remind yourself.

That what was- a normal, surbanan, boring existence… growing old with my husband, watching the hair sprout out his ears as his hairline recedes… cuddling up with him, through forty more winters…

All that, it’s gone. And some days, days like today, all I can see in the future in a wasteland- raising my children, alone. Being the Women Who Drove Her Husband To Suicide.

Knowing that once-and not that long ago- I had everything I wanted. A man who loved me, and who I adored. A pigeon pair of perfect children.

I’d love to spend just one minute, back in my old life. In my head, the way it used to be.

As the women with the perfect life, the perfect husband. The woman who didn’t know what it felt like to lose someone, who had no real concept of death.

Some days- days like today- it feels like she was a much nicer person. Nicer, sweeter, far less jaded.

Not as strong. But I’d trade the strength, for the ignorance-is-bliss. In a heartbeat.

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{ 29 comments }

Next Time.

by Lori Dwyer on April 28, 2011 · 36 comments

I think, the next time I fall in love, I simply won’t be so busy.

I’ll appreciate things more, take time to kiss and smile and laugh more. I’ll do what I did before- iron and cook and clean, but I’ll enjoy every second of it.

Because now I know what a big hole it leaves, having no one to take care of. Having no one to take care of you.

I think I just appreciate life more in general, now.

The longer I’m here, in Paradise, the more I wonder why I was so afraid of coming back here… this place is so beautiful.

So simple…

Simple pleasures, I’m finding, are the best things for a broken soul.

It’s the very simple things I miss.

Because I think, in a relationship, it’s the very simple things you take for granted, when you assume, as most people do, that you have all the time in the world.

Next time, there won’t be anything I take for granted. I’ll never be too busy writing, or folding washing, or doing a million other tiny, boring things, to cuddle or kiss or chat or have a coffee with someone- anyone- that I love ever again.

And the last thing I’d do again is let the sun go down on an argument…. what a silly thing to do, when I’ve avoided it all my life, and look at what it led to.

So many things I’ll do differently, next time…. if there is a next time.

Because now I know… just when you think you have all the time in the world…

You might not.

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{ 36 comments }

Small Talk

by Lori Dwyer on April 26, 2011 · 35 comments

I guess this post serves as a written apology to my family and my friends. The people who’s calls I sometimes don’t return. The people who, when they do contact me, find themselves talking to someone who is either chronically disconnected, or irritable and short tempered.

It’s just…difficult, being a functioning member of society right now. It’s difficult, trying to be a social person. I feel like I’m in a different place to most people. Most people are where I used to be- the frothy top of the cappuccino of life, I guess. While right now, I’m sitting in the bit at the bottom, cold and sticky with too much sugar.

And it hurts, because I used to be so social. I used to love small talk. I used to love chatting, waffling, babbling, talking about nothing in particular. Getting to know people.

I watch other people, people I know and love, life their lives, and I wish mine still had that much depth, where little things mattered and it wasn’t day to day survival.

I’m sure I’ll get there, eventually. For now, I’ll live in the numb bubble of grief and guilt, and watch other people sparkle by with their normal lives, and hope they understand.

Small talk, for me, it just doesn’t happen. I have an inkling that may sound arrogant, and deliberately ignorant, and i guess that’s OK, because it’s just how I feel at the moment. Small talk, discussions of holidays and the weather and how old are my children?, I just find them irritating and excessively difficult to follow. They always seem to thread back to my husband being dead, that I’ve run away to Paradise, and then occasionally I flood these unsuspecting souls with too much information, too many sad details and I want to stop talking and I can’t.

Or my irritation, my anger and edginess,it shows through, and taints the conversation to the point where it is uncomfortable.

So, gradually, I find myself withdrawing from everyone I love, and those who love me. I still feel for them, all of them, even more deeply than before… but conversations with me are difficult, for all involved. It’s either too much, a bright light of ugly emotion that makes me people squint at me as if i am the sun, or it’s my bristly anger and sadness as I try to restrain everything I’m feeling.

Even with my children, my babies, a lot of the time I am on auto pilot.I answer questions, I change nappies, I smile and I play, but I do it all on auto pilot, no passion in my voice, with a smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes. And in between the times when my attention belongs to them, I stare off into space, and I see a man in a blue shirt, with an orange rope cutting into the flesh of his neck, hes eyes half closed and bulged and rolled back, and I try to process how the hell this happened to me, try to remember that this is not a dream, this is real, this is my life.

So.. an apology, to those who I can’t small talk with, as much as I wish I could.

Please believe me when I say I love you, and I hope, one day soon… I’ll be back.

post signature

{ 35 comments }

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February 2010 – RRSAHM

February 2010

Weddings Are Best When…

by Lori Dwyer on February 28, 2010 · 3 comments

An alcoholic howdy do to you all,

First off, I must confess, I am bloody hungover. As my constant readers will know, I don’t drink. But I went to a wedding last night. Two Tia Maria and cokes, one cowboy shot and two vodka and lemon squashes absolutely shattered me. I would have had another shot but the bar policy was no shots after 10pm (C’mon, barkeep, I just left my husband and kids in the hotel room and it’s only quarter past…). Never, ever again.

But I had an awesome time. All in all, a very relaxed, cheerful, good time affair (as most bogan weddings are).

So here’s my list. Because.. well… I like lists.

Wedding Are Best When…

* Things are colorful. Bridesmaids in a rainbow of colours and table decos to match make for bright and cheerful all round, no matter the venue.

*The ceremony is short, sweet and simple. Especially if you’re all standing, in the great, sun-burny, mozzie infested Aussie outdoors or, heaven forbid, in a church. Catholics need not apply.

*The speeches are short, sweet and tasteful. Without mentions of toilets seats, ex partners, or family feuds. Tears are appropriate, but only for the bride, and only so much as she does not run her mascara. Beware of drunken idiots grabbing the mike.

*The DJ suffers Repressed Clown Syndrome. And is prepared to don a green wig and do the Funky Chicken with all the guests under the age of 13, over the age of 65, or anyone between those ages with a bellyful of grog.

*People dance. Not just the oldies, and not just the littlies, and not just the chicks wearing mini skirts dancing a circle. Weddings and primary school discos are the only times you can get groovy to the Macarena, Hey Mickey and the Grease MegaMedley.

*People drink. Including the oldies.Not enough to get messy, vomit or get their staunch on, but enough to talk to people they normally wouldn’t, laugh at stupid things, and take their shoes off by 11pm. If you’re really lucky, someone will react the aforementioned Grease MegaMedley, complete with ‘Travolta does childbirth’ face.

No One Likes….

*Bubble skirts on bridesmaids. ‘Nuff said.

*Stupid people calling out stupid things during equally stupid speeches. Shut up, groom’s brother. I don’t care how many drinks you’ve scabbed from the bar by pretending they were for the bridal party- you shush now. I can’t hear the brides pissed uncle reading the list of ‘Rules For Marriage’ he printed off a forwarded email after removing most of the vulgarities.

*Brides with ciggies. *Ahem* *Cough (in that icky smokers way)*. Yep, that me in the piccie. I’m a classy broad.

*The Bowlo courtesy bus as the getaway car. And the farewell is the bride pulling open the door to the smoker’s balcony and screeching “Honey, fucking hurry up. The last courtesy bus is about the leave”. (Yep, unfortunately, I’m quite serious about that one).

{ 3 comments }

FlogYaBlog Friday and Project Monday.

by Lori Dwyer on February 26, 2010 · 11 comments

Heedle deedle people,

Well, a big thanks to the muchly amusing Mummy Time for bringing us FlogYoBlog Friday. Yeeee–haaaa. Flog my blog, baby. I’m always up for a bit of shameless self promotion. Here’s her groovy little button thingy….

ETA- Dammit! OK, i thought I’d be clever and include the button in the text. Not. Check out the sidebar for the button.

ETAA- Dammit, dammit. Button still not working. I’ll get back to you on this one.

ETAAA- Let’s try one more time… Yay! Success (At least i hope so, i am not coming back to edit this bloody thing again).
Do make sure you click on it and have a look at the other bloggers. And I guess you could check out Mummy Time while you are there. Do, she’s pretty spunky.

Now, I did commit earlier this week to follow Yankee Lori’s Project Monday. I have dutifully been recording all the worries that keep me awake at night, from “I must quit smoking” to “How do I get the Bump out of her hammock and into a cot?” to “How would I transport both my children in the wake of a nuclear disaster?” and back to “I really must quit smoking”.

However, because Yankee Lori is obviously in Yankee Land, her Friday is not till tomorrow, so I actually committed to Project Monday on a Tuesday. Which means she won’t actually post her Project Monday results until Saturday, which is Yankee Friday. And I don’t want to steal her thunder.

Added to that conundrum, I’m going away to a big bogan wedding this weekend. Therefore, the results of Project Monday, which I committed to on a Tuesday, and Yankee Lori will be publishing on Saturday (Friday), will hereby be published either on the Sunday (Monday) or the Monday (Yankee Sunday). You follow? Exxxxcellent, I knew you’d keep up.

{ 11 comments }

What’s In Your Bag?

by Lori Dwyer on February 25, 2010 · 8 comments

Hi all,

Inspired by Sarah over at Just Me, today’s game is called “What’s In Your bag?”. Plenty self explanatory, really. It’s an opportunity to show the blogosphere how incredible organised you are (Sarah) or how disgustingly chaotic your life actually is (me).

Let’s start at the beginning- a very good place to start.

This is my bag. A BratPack. I love it. I don’t love that I left it sitting under a window for six weeks before Bump was born, and the silk has faded irreparably. Dammit.

This is the contents of my bag. And the Chop is there too, he spotted food. I swear I didn’t realise how much crap was in there till I took it all out.

We have, in no particular order…

* Purse, sunnies, phone, cigarettes *ahem*, keys.
*Lip gloss, lip balm, quartz crystal in it’s little bag, Swiss army knife in pouch.
*Sunhats and beanies for both kids (you just never know what the weather will be like).
*Three pairs of socks for Bump, plus a jumpsuit, and a pair of pants a size too small. Spare shirt for the Chop.
*Spare muslin, purple spew rag.
*Nappies, wipes, talc, plastic container with bags and a change mat.
*Change mat that came with the bag. Note the colour difference.
*Snap lock bag with Sudocream (on closer inspection, it’s actually empty)., sunscreen, anti–bac hand gel.
*2 different deodorants, hand cream, Panadol, 2010 diary that I haven’t opened yet (comforting to know it’s there, though).
*Drink and snacks for the Chop.
*Blue mini bag with dummies. Dummy chain. Bottle of bubbles (what the?).
*Toys- 1 Thomas, 5 cars, 2 books, a small teddy bear.

I think that about covers it. Wow- and I thought Sarah had a Mary Poppins style carpet bag!!

As an added bonus, here are the things that shouldn’t have actually been in the bag, and have now been removed. The bottle of bubbles probably belongs here as well, but I decided that one was a keeper.

*Various bits of rubbish.
*A battery (disturbingly, this was in the pocket with the toys).
*The Bump’s pretty headband thingie.
* My USB drive (so that’s where that went).

And we’re done. Who else wants to play??

{ 8 comments }

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Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Jeans and Stuff.

Random Ramblings of a SAHM: I Can’t F*cking Shut Up Wednesday. With Words And Stuff.

The Maltings, Part Three- Ashes. – RRSAHM

The Maltings, Part Three- Ashes.

by Lori Dwyer on February 1, 2013 · 8 comments

It may just be one of the saddest things I think I’ve ever seen.

I returned to The Maltings a few weeks ago now, purely for the purpose of showing it off to The Most Amazing Man In The Universe. I wasn’t expecting much to have changed at all. My mum had told me, months ago, that there had been a fire, a massive blaze. Maybe something left by squatters, something hot and combustible to pour thick black smoke into the chilly Highlands night air. And Google tells me there has been other fires since, one just ten days ago- most of the recent ones deliberately lit.

Before and after shots of the cottage at the Maltings.

The fire, the possible damage.. it was in the back of my mind somewhere. But I was thinking- what could possibly have burnt, when most of what was left was solid concrete or brick? How much could a fire have possibly taken hold, when it was all so spread out and so solid…?

I hadn’t thought about the house, the tiny cottage where I felt like I met a ghost and her very real, iPhone-carrying descendant. I hadn’t considered that possibility at all.

Which just made the discovery of the cottage, charred and blackened, even… sadder. Heavier, perhaps. A simple pensievity at the way the world eats pretty things. Sorrow enough to suck the breath from my lungs in a sharp, shocked sigh.

Seeing the iron roof curved upwards and twisted, the inside walls blackened to thick carbon… it hurt like witnessing the death of a wild thing.

Because it’s gone… all gone. Not the structure– houses built over a hundred years ago were built tough, their frames made to withstand freezing winters and blistering summer suns, a fortress to keep a family safe. The outer walls, parts of the roof…they remain.

It’s all those beautiful things within that are gone. Solid wooden floors are covered with inches of soot and charcoal and, as The Most Amazing Man In The Universe points out, probably asbestos, too- by the time I return to take photos there is red and yellow hazard tape stretched across what’s left of the cyclone fence, which I willfully ignore.

Carved cornices and solid baseboards are burnt and scorched, missing completely in most places. Wallpaper has been torn or vaporized. The tiny, warm master bedroom is just a shell of itself. The benches built into the back sun-room are covered in soot too black and thick and hazardous to bother poking through.

What is left of solid wood floors and beautiful wallpaper.

And– perhaps worst of all– what was left still mostly-intact kitchen is now an acrid-smelling black hole who’s roof yaws inward and peers down dangerously, who’s floors are covered in shattered glass and that same thick coating of charred wood. The frame of the tiny kitchen nook remains, twisted and overturned. I find the tabletop outside the kitchen window, unburnt but broken and useless. And the small green stove is broken and bent, damaged by fire and smoke and high pressure jets of water.

On seeing that, I think I might just cry, and I’m so thankful The Most Amazing Man In The Universe doesn’t laugh at me, doesn’t seem to think it’s strange that I find this distressing. I can’t even explain it… it’s one of those things that are just sad. The knowledge that this house was here, it was intact and real and breathtaking in the simple richness of it.

And what’s become of the kitchen and stove.

And now, all that is gone. And part of the story the building tells is gone, too. It feeds my fascination in the most basic manner- I always want to know how structures degrade like that, the humanity that they once held all but forgotten.

Gradually, almost every time I go exploring, I witness a different different phase in the process of life gradually rotting away. From active, to deserted. From bustling to stopped still in time.

From a wallpapered house, still with a mark on its floors where a carpet runner sat for years and years… to a burnt, ugly, corroded shell, the best of it eaten by fire.

There’s a certain bizarre pride in having seen it, written it down, before that happened.

But there’s a certain heavy sadness in it, too.

More photos on Flickr…

Tagged as: my head is an awesome place to live, This Not My Idea Of A Good Time, Urban Decay, Urban Exploring

Leave a Comment

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Rhys February 9, 2013 at 3:07 pm

I love this place so much. I really wish I seen the house before it got burnt and had a chance to take some photos. I was there last night to do a photo shoot of a friend. I was there for about 4 hours roughly 10pm – 2am and the whole time we could hear a slow constant knocking sound like a solid plank of wood hitting a brick wall. Every time we went to investigate the sound it stopped and would start again not long after we walked away. Somebody told me today its George who makes that sound. Apparently he hung himself there a while back and was found 6 months later. Don’t know how true this is though.

If your interested you should check out some of the photos I have taken there on 2 of my facebook pages.

Their in the random outings album on expose images
http://www.facebook.com/exposeimages

If your offended by nudity and what not I wouldnt check out this one.
http://www.facebook.com/TrussedPhotography

Miss Pink February 4, 2013 at 7:20 pm

Oh gosh what a shame. The house looks like a beauty. It makes me even angrier that it is all gone to some deliberate act.

Lori Dwyer February 6, 2013 at 1:32 pm: I had day dreams of buying it and fixing it up. *sigh…*

Reply

Chris February 4, 2013 at 3:07 pm

Thats very sad, what a waste, i saw your earlier post on the maltings, it was my grandfather who was the caretaker there, i was at the maltings last year to see where my father grew up. now it is all gone. Is there a way i can please get a copy of the photos you took off the place ?

Lori Dwyer February 4, 2013 at 4:15 pm

Hi Chris, for sure, I’d be more than happy to send you a copy. Email me?

Lori (at) ladefrickinda.com

Chris February 5, 2013 at 11:26 am: Thank Lori
I’ve sent you an email
Chris at MCHP dot com dot au

Reply

Anonymous February 2, 2013 at 6:37 am

Your banner buttons are broken

Lori Dwyer February 2, 2013 at 10:50 pm: Thanks anon. Yup- know this. Fixing ‘em.

Reply

Previous post: You’re Stupid And I Hate You.

Next post: Valentine’s Day and Vibrators (and Things That Start With F).

Random Ramblings of a SAHM: So Damn Cool I Need My Own Soundtrack.

Very Bad Things. – RRSAHM

Very Bad Things.

by Lori Dwyer on December 2, 2012 · 11 comments

I’m out of touch, out of the online world, somewhat incognito.. I have been for days now.

It’s been a strange kind of week, jellybeans. My Gran, who I love very much, passed away on Tuesday night. It was peaceful, and she was ready. Waiting, in fact- just hours before she died she half-jokingly gave one of the nurse’s in the hospital a serve for waking her because she was “half way to death and wanted to get there next time, thank you very much!”

It still hurts. It just… aches. Not because it’s unfair, or unjust or because she had more to do.

Just because I loved her, very much, and she and I understood each other. I respected her and admired her and she taught me a lot. And it hurts because she’s gone.

At the same time, it’s the oddest comfort. I’m watching grief unfold naturally, the way it should do… the culmination of a long, happy life, spent amongst loved ones and family and people who thought she was awesome. All of it- planning a funeral, clearing a house… it’s peace, as opposed to torture.

It’s… nice. A blessing I will take, if I can have it- bearing witness to a calmer, more prosaic form of mourning.

The funeral is tomorrow… same time, same place. Of course.

I’ll be fine… aren’t I always? Just another one of those things that must be done.

***

The same day my Mum phones me to let me know my gran has gone, I get sick.

My kids are with their nan. I lay down to sleep for an hour or two- I’m so tired.

When I wake up, I can’t move. I’m drenched in sweat, fever spiked but shivering and shaking and making tiny mewing sounds from the back of my throat.

I don’t remember the next few days- Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. I know my mum took my kids, drove me to the doctors, filled the prescription they gave me for the flu that is ‘going around’. I ended up in my mum’s house, soaking the sheets on her spare bed with sweat, too sick to move or eat or do anything except sleep and sweat more, buckets of sour-smelling liquid that keep me warm and freeze me at the same time.

I hallucinate. I see my gran, watching me from a corner. I have imaginary conversations with people, do things in my dreams which I then have to double check with my mother– is that real? Did that happen? And the answer, over and over, is ‘no’– I have done nothing but lay comatose while my imagination runs rampant, unable to slow down.

Mid-way through the first day of the fever, still at home, I beg my mother- in reality, not fever pitch- to please take down the photos on the wall, take down the photo of Tony, he is talking to me and will not leave me alone.

I’m feeling better… kind of. Waking up and discovering that you’ve missed three days- and still have grieving to do- is troubling and quite disorientating.

There’s so much ‘blog stuff’ that is meant to have been done, or that I should be doing right now- vlogs and posts and competitions and adventures I want to share with you guys. You’ll have to bear with me for a couple of days.

And, quite frankly, I’m too scared to open my email inbox. So if you’re waiting for one of those… bear with me, there, too.

It’s been a strange week. But December is, traditionally, a very strange month.

Leave a Comment

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Cassandra King December 4, 2012 at 9:40 am: *hugs*

Reply
marketingtomilk December 3, 2012 at 11:27 pm: Yes yes yes! Grief as natural. The natural order of things. not twisted and devastating like you've experienced before. But comforting.

xxx

Reply
JB December 3, 2012 at 10:32 am: Peace and strength, Lori.

Reply
phonakins December 3, 2012 at 9:06 am: Thinking of you babe.

Last week was a piece of hell.

Reply
woahmolly.com December 3, 2012 at 8:29 am: I'm really sorry to hear about your Nan, and wishing you and your family all the best in this sad week. And to top off the week with an illness like that? Fever dreams are the worst. Hope you feel better soon. x

Reply
Anonymous December 3, 2012 at 7:47 am: I've been checking here each day and getting more concerned each day when there were no new entries.
So sorry for the loss of your Gran. She sounded like a very special lady, as most grandparents are
Gill xo

Reply
Roxanne P-CH December 3, 2012 at 6:51 am: Always seems things happen all at once. What an awful
week for you. Your Gran sounds like a wonderful Lady from your posts. Heart going out to you.

Reply
Mad Cow December 3, 2012 at 6:38 am: xox

Reply
Miss Pink December 2, 2012 at 10:10 pm: If you want, or need, drop in tomorrow. I will be home, and I know sometimes a distraction is nice.
I am so sorry to hear about your Nan. I hope you are not in too much pain. It seems very unfair for use yet another companion in life. I am sure she is whacking Tony around the ears on your behalf.

As for getting sick. What the fuck universe? That sounds awful and a lot like what I had a couple of months ago. It took me weeks to get better and I was out for a week, so I hope you are able to get better a lot faster. x

Reply
Kellie (stylishkellie) December 2, 2012 at 9:30 pm: Oh honey… that truly sucks. My love and condolences on the loss of your nan.
I hope you get better soon xx

Reply
Denwise aka Denyse Whelan December 2, 2012 at 10:30 pm: Awww honey, I'm so sorry you've been suffering so. Glad mum took you in and the kidlets. I know how much love you have for your Gran as you've spoken of her before. It was time for her to go as she said. She will always be with you..xx
pS I echo Miss Pink's words… About finding Tony for a good telling off… Now here's my 2c lovely..ask for some extra time for things that may be outstanding. You are headed towards THAT time of year… & Chop's off to school.. Take what you need to do to stay well. That's it! Love you Denyse xx

Reply

Previous post: The PatchWork Hospital- Blue Mountains, Part One.

Next post: On Loss and Grief and Madness.

Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Sunday, Just Me.

Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Nanna Naps

Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Hanging… On…In….There.

Fly With Me. – RRSAHM

Fly With Me.

by Lori Dwyer on September 18, 2012 · 9 comments

Years ago, even further back than the Before in a period known as the BC (Before Children), I was a clown. I learnt to face paint, tie balloons, unicycle and juggle…

… but nobody ever had the public liability insurance to cover us for the amazing, death-defying flying trapeze.

The awesome people from RedBalloon obviously knew this when they sent myself and my mate Auntie Mickey on a #RedBalloonMums mission to publicly humiliate myself on the equivalent of a giant, adult-sized Jolly Jumper without all that comfy elasticity.

And I ended up having the most freaking awesome time.

Enjoy. I did. I’d call it a natural high… but what’s natural about swinging around fifty foot off the ground.

Thanks to the team at Digital Parents

Collective for inviting

me to be a part of the RedBalloon Experience Program. Stay tuned- more awesomeness, including Lori in a wetsuit, coming over the next six months-ish. As

always, all opinions are my own (because no one else would want them…?) however the experiences are

complimentary.

Leave a Comment

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Millie February 17, 2013 at 11:24 pm

So who caught you? Your mate or the professional?
Millie recently posted…The Fashionista

Lori Dwyer February 18, 2013 at 10:14 pm: Hey Millie The professional caught me, not my mate- I think its all in the timing and upper body strength :p x
Lori Dwyer recently posted…This Is (Still) Not A Foodie Blog.

Reply

Hunnybunny October 10, 2012 at 12:48 pm

I just want to say thank you! You have inspired me with everything you write but this post in particular… When I saw this I just knew I had to add it to 'my list'. And it got crossed off pretty quick! On Saturday I had my first class and it was AMAZING!!! So AMAZING in fact that I signed up for another 10 classes and enrolled in 2 classes with the WA Circus School (acrobatics and handstands)! So again, thank you, you are an amazing woman and an inspiration to so many.
Honey xx

Brenda September 18, 2012 at 9:21 pm

So cool that he caught you!

Miss Pink September 18, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I am so unbelievably jealous. I think that would be right up my ally for adrenaline rushes. Jumping from a plane or a platform with my feet tied together just doesn't hold any interest for me, and I can't swim so any water stuff is just a death wish.

Thanks for filming it so it felt like we were there with you!!

lori September 18, 2012 at 10:51 am

Wow! Brave girl! That was awesome and you looked great!

Debyl1 September 18, 2012 at 9:21 am

Loved watching that as I could feel your excitement.
Good on you.Bet you feel so proud.xx

woahmolly.com September 18, 2012 at 8:37 am

That looks like it would probably be the most fun thing in the world! I've never tried flying trapeze, I once got to play in a bungee harness (like Angelina Jolie in the first Tomb Raider movie) it was the best thing in the world! They had to basically physically remove me from it because I didn't want to get out and let anyone else to have a go.

Will you be taking more lessons?

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Make Mum's Day, No Gift-Wrapping Required

Previous post: Suplication

Next post: The Secret Garden- Australian Gothic, Part One.

The Muse Wars- Bringin' on challenge number four. – RRSAHM

The Muse Wars- Bringin’ on challenge number four.

by Lori Dwyer on March 15, 2010 · 6 comments

Howdy doody my fellow writeroonies,

It’s time for Challenge Four of the Muse Wars, which was originally the brainchild of Melissa at The Things I’d Tell You and has produced some brilliant short stories and poetry so far- Challenge Two by MadMother is here, and Challenge Three by the Menopausal Mumma is here. It’s my turn to set the challenge this time and I’ve chosen this photo. A lovely gritty streetscape.

And I thought I’d be super clever and give us a pretty shiny McLinky to use. Just click and add your link. If you want to be super clever too, you can add the McLinky thingie to the bottom of your post. Our very own blog hop. Amazing, this Internet doovy. Or just go the old fashioned way and and put your link in a comment, that’s good too.

And if anyone reading wants to jump on in, go ahead. The idea is to write whatever this picture inspires you to, in 500 words-ish. You’ve got 48 hours. First link up gets to choose the theme for the next challenge. Have fun!

Leave a Comment

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

lori March 16, 2010 at 12:26 pm: hmmm, this looks like fun, but I just noticed its only for 48 hours. Is that 48 Aussie hours or Yankee hours? And we just had to put our clocks ahead an hour over here for daylight savings time, so does that mean it's 47 hours??

I'm so cornfused.

Reply
Lori March 16, 2010 at 11:44 am: OK, mc Linky is working, silly thing. i've added all our lists- if anyone wants to pop in on the end of their post (I know, bit late now!), click the last line "Click here for instructions and code" and copy and paste code onto the end of your post. Ta-da!

Reply
Lori March 15, 2010 at 11:29 pm: Bother, you're right Kakka, McLinky is broken. Something to do with the time zones. Trying to fix it,will get back to y'all…

Reply
Kakka March 15, 2010 at 10:59 pm: The McLinky thing seems broken.

Mines up at

http://menopausalmumma.blogspot.com/2010/03/things-id-tell-you-challenge-muse-wars.html

Reply
gem88 March 15, 2010 at 3:28 pm: nice choice of piccie was a challenge enjoy

http://sometimesujustneedtovent.blogspot.com/2010/03/muse-challenge-4-cha-ching.html

Reply
Madmother March 15, 2010 at 10:20 pm: Done, but not well. Found this one harder, wanted to come in with a different style to my others. Bit clumsy.

http://meanderingmadmother.blogspot.com/2010/03/challenge-4-muse-wars-things-we-do-for.html

How do I add the McLinky thing?

Reply

Previous post: Is it just me…

Next post: When I grow up, I wanna be Lara Bingle.

2011 – RRSAHM

2011

Retro RRSAHM- Vloggus Interruptus

by Lori Dwyer on December 30, 2011 · 13 comments

The last of the Retro RRSAHM series for now. This is my favorite ever video blog. It’s called Vloggus Interruptus, and you’ll soon see why.

Happy New Years, jellybeans. I’ll see you on January 2nd.

post signature

{ 13 comments }

Retro RRSAHM- Lori Misplaces Something Very Important

by Lori Dwyer on December 29, 2011 · 11 comments

‘Hem… *ahem*, *ahem*, *ahem*. A fractured fairytale. Definitely not for children.

***

Once upon a time, there was a young wench named Lori.

One Saturday morning, Lori and her devoted, loving betrothed, the Man, awoke at the peaceful hour of 8am, to find their children still sleeping.

In the land of the Purple House, this was indeed a unique and exciting occurrence.

“I doth think we should partake in a bit of nookie” intones the Man.

Lori retires to the powder room to grapple with her troublesome contraceptive, the Holy and Glorious Diaphragm. This Diaphragm has been the source of many a happy adventure. It lives in small, white plastic case in the bathroom drawer.

Whatever-oust. Nookie was had, and all was well in the land of the Purple House.

That is, until approximately two hours later, when the land of the Purple House was hit by the dreaded Gastro Monster. Lori and the Man realized, too late, that it was under the Gastro Monster’s spell the children had slept so peacefully.

Three days and three nights passed. The children, Lori and the Man had recovered well and continued about their daily business raising cows and harvesting crops ~~on Farmville~~. On the nigh of the third day, The Man turned to Lori and said

“Does thou fancy a bit of nookie?”

“Indeed, my Lord, ~~with your pork sword~~“, replies Lori.

And she skips up to turret stairs to grapple with her friend the Diaphragm.

Lori creeps down the hall, past one, two sleeping children. Tiptoes into the bathroom, and by the light of the lamp in the hallway, cracks open the drawer….

…. but when she got there, the diaphragm case, it was bare!!

Oh fuck.

Lori sent frantic message via carrier pigeon to her fairy godmother, the health line nurse, who attempted not to giggle whilst she reassured our heroine all was well, and to see the local surgeon and drink a brew of newt’s eyes and mugwort if signs of tepid infection became apparent.

Lori, fraught, came close to throwing the Holy and Glorious Diaphragm in the pig slop receptacle. Then, she remembered the tragic days of yonder Pill, when she wanted to stab her husband and run over random strangers with her car. And she decided to hang onto her hallowed contraceptive.

But she never forgot to remove her diaphragm ever, ever again.

*This asterisk doesn’t refer to anything in particular, this whole post needs a freaking asterisk. In my defense, diaphragms are supposed to be left in for six hours after… nookie…. and I normally just leave the plastic case out so I don’t forgot about it and an incident like this does not occur. But somewhere in my vomit and fever, I must have put the case away. Personally, I think it’s just a miracle I didn’t turn the Man’s second request for nookie down the way I usually do. Or things could have gotten really…. uncomfortable.

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{ 11 comments }

Retro RRSAHM- Who Reads This Stuff, Anyway?

by Lori Dwyer on December 28, 2011 · 9 comments

“Who reads this stuff, anyway?”

And the answer to that question is slightly more complex.

And all of this becomes even more important once we have kids.

In this day and age, mums get all that online.

The Internet becomes our community. It’s real, it’s powerful. And the bonds we form here can be as strong as those formed In Real Life.

Who reads this stuff, anyway? Other women, other men, other mother, other dads. Other bored, frazzled parents, who are reaching out for something more.

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2011 – RRSAHM

2011

Retro RRSAHM- Vloggus Interruptus

by Lori Dwyer on December 30, 2011 · 13 comments

The last of the Retro RRSAHM series for now. This is my favorite ever video blog. It’s called Vloggus Interruptus, and you’ll soon see why.

Happy New Years, jellybeans. I’ll see you on January 2nd.

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{ 13 comments }

Retro RRSAHM- Lori Misplaces Something Very Important

by Lori Dwyer on December 29, 2011 · 11 comments

‘Hem… *ahem*, *ahem*, *ahem*. A fractured fairytale. Definitely not for children.

***

Once upon a time, there was a young wench named Lori.

One Saturday morning, Lori and her devoted, loving betrothed, the Man, awoke at the peaceful hour of 8am, to find their children still sleeping.

In the land of the Purple House, this was indeed a unique and exciting occurrence.

“I doth think we should partake in a bit of nookie” intones the Man.

Whatever-oust. Nookie was had, and all was well in the land of the Purple House.

“Does thou fancy a bit of nookie?”

“Indeed, my Lord, ~~with your pork sword~~“, replies Lori.

And she skips up to turret stairs to grapple with her friend the Diaphragm.

Lori creeps down the hall, past one, two sleeping children. Tiptoes into the bathroom, and by the light of the lamp in the hallway, cracks open the drawer….

…. but when she got there, the diaphragm case, it was bare!!

Oh fuck.

But she never forgot to remove her diaphragm ever, ever again.

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{ 11 comments }

Retro RRSAHM- Who Reads This Stuff, Anyway?

by Lori Dwyer on December 28, 2011 · 9 comments

“Who reads this stuff, anyway?”

And the answer to that question is slightly more complex.

And all of this becomes even more important once we have kids.

In this day and age, mums get all that online.

The Internet becomes our community. It’s real, it’s powerful. And the bonds we form here can be as strong as those formed In Real Life.

Who reads this stuff, anyway? Other women, other men, other mother, other dads. Other bored, frazzled parents, who are reaching out for something more.

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{ 9 comments }

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The Happy Switch. – RRSAHM

The Happy Switch.

by Lori Dwyer on November 12, 2013 · 5 comments

It’s easier to tell yourself that things were better, in the past. Or will be better, in the future, when some indeterminate quality is met.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Life is always better in hindsight. Or foresight. Or if you’re looking from the outside, in.

I can look back, now, at life as it was in the TinyTrainTown, and I can tell myself that things were easier, then. Because I had my family and friends there. Because I wasn’t so stressed about the complexities of life, the things I just can’t seem to do.

If I let it, my mind will repeat those sentiments, over and over. Despite the fact that I know none of them to be true.

But it’s easier, if I do that. Because if I make it a location thing, a circumstantial thing… then I don’t have to do anything to fix it.

The Most Amazing Man reminded me a few days ago that happy is not just a switch you turn on. There’s more to it than that. I have all the tools to do this, to deal with my own head. To skew things so I look at them differently.

And I beat myself up because right now I just… can’t. And I don’t know why.

Tagged as: mental, my head is an awesome place to live, This Not My Idea Of A Good Time

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Vanessa November 16, 2013 at 6:41 pm

Don’t forget there are normal ups and downs from moving too – some are unexpectedly a long time after you’d think you ‘should’ feel them!
Vanessa recently posted…Eat Drink Blog 2013

Suzy Mac November 13, 2013 at 8:38 am

OMG, Lori! There IS a happy switch. Why did I not think of it before? You are in Melbourne & so is the only medical professional I know of who can flip the switch- God know’s I tried to find someone here in Sydney.
I will email you Dr Wood’s details right after school run with a more coherant explaination. And no, it doesnt involve drugs,& no, I’m not on commission- just am ex-patient of his
Hang in there xo
Suzy Mac recently posted…Show and Tell: Use Peas or Sticks

Sarah K Reece November 12, 2013 at 12:16 pm

I think that’s one of the things I find really useful about writing a blog or journal, when I’m rewriting my past in my head there’s a record there that sets me straight.
Sarah K Reece recently posted…Pride March design

Whoa, Molly! November 12, 2013 at 11:51 am

I suffer from the ‘greener’ kind of mentality. Other people’s lives look shinier, their clothes look better, their jobs sound more awesome… I also get hounded by attacks of rose-tinted nostalgia, and don’t even talk to me about pulling geographicals – though I never go far, I feel like I can change the problems in my life if I can just change where I’m at, physically.

After everything that’s been all madcap and crazy with me lately, I feel like I need to just appreciate what’s going on now. I’ve got it pretty good. And while the storms in my head (let’s not mention the explosions in my body) make that hard to see sometimes, part of me always knows it. Like I could be happy if I just tried, or relaxed, or stopped thinking about everyone else, or how things used to be…

So if you manage it, wanna share?
Whoa, Molly! recently posted…The best laid plans…

Mouse November 13, 2013 at 1:38 pm: And, in a way, I have just the opposite situation.
I’m in such a good time and space, of abundance. Work, kids, relationship, self esteem, health, finances, geography. All just seem to be going so well for me right now. All my ducks are flying in formation, right now.
It wasn’t always this way, there have been challenges, and I’ve had to work hard at it, to stay the course. But I did, and now, here are the dividends.
But all the time I see things around me, that make me scared. Scared, of losing a part of it. Or all of it.
The car accident victim, who lost her baby and so much more. The school friend, who had an affair, and so lost his marriage and family. The ex who left behind young kids, when she succumbed to breast cancer. It’s all so easily gone. Such a thin thread, holds our lives in place, or snaps, and wrecks them!
I tell myself that if I maintain an awareness, a gratitude, a humility, about what I have, then my situation may be safeguarded. The Gods will pay back good attitudes with continued good fortune. But, in fact, all the time I’m scared.
What if something bad happens?

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