It’s meme-y time! I’m not sure who started this one, but I’m pinching it from Wanderlust, who published it, like, ages ago. The basic idea- write a letter to an inanimate object. The most inanimate object we have in the Purple House is The Man. For reasons that I’m sure will become apparent as you scroll down.
It has come to the attention of the Domestic Engineering Division (DED) of the Purple House that there are a number of chores on your Honey Do List* that are well past their Set Nagging Time Frame. Please find the list of chores, Set Nagging Time Frame,and any additional notes outlined below.
Re-affix screen to laundry window.
Set nagging Time Frame- Three years.
Wash outside of windows.
Set Nagging Time Frame- two and half years.
Additional notes- Management of the DED wishes to remind The Man that she was up on a ladder washing the inside of fore-mentioned windows at 38 weeks gestation with The Man’s first born. Notes indicate that at that time, The Man promised to wash the outside of fore-mentioned windows, at which point this job was entered into the Honey Do List. Our first born is now two and half years old.
Detail DED Managers car.
Set Nagging Time Frame- Approximately two years.
Replace Drive Belt on DED Managers Car.
Set Nagging Time Frame- Six months.
This chore was entered into the Honey Do List after the DED Manager’s car was serviced by LubeMobile. Entered into notes at the time was this- “LubeMobile mechanic wants to know why we have an engine hoist out the back but he is giving my car an overpriced grease and oil change. Answer- To teach the Man a very expensive lesson. When I say “Service my car or I’m calling Lube Mobile- I mean it.”
The DED would also like to remind the Man, at this point, that it is the DED Manager’s car that does most of the shuttling of the The Man’s children. Whilst The DED’s Research Department has not as yet ascertained what a drive belt actually does, we do feel it may be necessary for the vehicles operation.
If the Man or one of his affiliates could please see to the above chores
just as soon as it suits you to get off your bum at your earliest convenience, the DED would be much obliged. Failure to comply with this request may or may not result in the forfeit of physical satisfaction for an unspecified length of time.
Yours Sincerely (like, very, very sincerely),
Manager, Domestic Engineering Division, Purple House.
* I unashamedly pinched the Honey Do list from Yankee Lori at Tiny Little Reveries. OK? OK.