Ooh la la, dahlings!!
This blogging thing comes with some very cool gigs sometimes. Why, just
yesterday last week a while back now, I went to do an internal promotional video for the awesome people from Kleenex Mums.
You may have seen my last promo video, all about living on Poo Poo Island...? Yes? If you loved it, you can watch even more of it here on YouTube. (As a side note, I adore YouTube. Where else can you find everything from a recording made of the last castrato singing Ava Maria in 1902 to..well… Lori on Poo Poo Island?) Quite sadly, you won’t get to see this last Kleenex Mums video I made. Altogether now- “Awww“. Sadness much? Sorry. It’s an internal promo thing. I know, I know, build you all up like that and then disappoint you. Whatever.
I am overjoyed to report that this video was slightly more glamorous in subject matter than Poo Poo Island. And compared to Poo Poo Island (otherwise known as my pee splattered laundry-slash-bathroom) a
slightly much more glamorous location.
An underground studio, in the offices of those crazy awesome McCann people, in the heart of Kings Cross, just across from the infamous Coca Cola sign. (If it’s infamous, why do I need to link to it, you ask? I just like links. Whatever). Serious. With a proper camera, veeeery technical looking video editing computer stuff (imagine the vlogs I could make with that…) and- wait for it….- directors chairs for us to sit on. Really. I know.
I read my lines, in front of the camera, projected onto the big screen. I am warm, I am friendly, I am personable, dammit! I am wearing new clothes. And make up. Real, proper, skin coloured make up, not just a quick slap of eye-stuff. I feel like a total glamour. Except for one little thing….
Skanky, chipped, half eaten acrylic nails.
I, Lori, am a chronic nail biter. And have been since I was… well.. old enough to get my fingernails
or toenails in my mouth. Even fake fingernails. As you can clearly see from the pictures, my fakies have gone from skanky….
..to muchly skanky.
I don’t even have a picture of them looking pretty to prove that they did, actually, look really nice for a whole six weeks before I bit them off. Really. I even went and sat for an hour to get the bleeping things infilled twice.
And then decided that hour was far too bigger chunk out of my one Daycare Day (otherwise known as Mummy’s Losing Her Sh*T and Needs a Mental Health Day) and I just couldn’t be arsed anymore.
Shame, shame, shame. Chipped fingernails. As I said back on Sunday, not even chipped fingernail polish. But actual chipped fingernails.
So. There you go. Lori. An almost famous, totally glamorous movie star type person. Not.