Internet Dating v 3.0- Dear Brad.

by Lori Dwyer on November 14, 2012 · 15 comments

Dear Brad*,

It’s not really that I’m particularly offended by the fact that you are going “to be keeping to yourself for a while. Laying low and focusing getting priorities and head/health together”. After all, that’s perfectly understandable.

It’s not even that I think you might just be full of sh*t when you say that, given that your internet dating profile states you are ‘Holding out’ and you confessed, on our very first date, that “dating online makes finding sex easier, but finding love more difficult. If you don’t like everything about that person, there’s another fifty women out there that might do it for you.”

And, truly– and it’s taken me time to be able to say this in all honesty– it’s not even that I feel like a total dick for not cutting and running at the exact moment you said that. And, honestly, it’s not because I feel, sordidly, like I’ve been used for your pleasure. No, really, it’s not.

It’s more to do with the fact that you told all about how you’ve thinking about where you “are atm” (sic), and that you “hope I understand” by text message, less than twelve hours after parting company with me.

And, really, it’s the fact that you didn’t even have the man-balls to answer the phone after that.

Finally– although I totally get you’re not responsible for the behavior of the entire male species– I just will never understand why you men feel the need to go putting yourself all over Internet dating websites saying how you’re ‘looking for something long term’ and ‘want a relationship’

And then consider where you’re at and whether you really want one at all? Surely that’s something that could have been bought to my attention f*cking YESTERDAY?

Or is this just the new way of saying that same old thing, “it’s not you, it’s me”?

Whatever. I don’t f*cking know. And, quite frankly, I’m too pissed off and disillusioned to care. Although I do remember telling you that only the real arseholes make it onto my blog


Yours sincerely,

*This may not be Brad’s real name. But it’s quite likely that it is.

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous November 23, 2012 at 4:32 am

Some men do bail out if the sex doesnt go to a pre envisaged scheme concocted in their heads.. It could be as simple as a wild experience for one who has only ever had soft nurturous encounters, or other issues more pedantic.
I met an inspiring young lady once and was taken by her clairvoyant like abilities. Interacting with her was an eye opening experience which seemed to bring on more questions than answers. Sadly, upon getting to the horizontal waltz part of the introductry phase, she started to roll her eyes into the back of her head and shake all over. Sadly, that WTF situation along with some excess hair was enough for me to end the encounter with the "Its not you its me" scenario… Happy to admit to being fickle ;)


Charmaine Campbell November 19, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I can't help wonder if it is his real name now. lol


Wanderlust November 16, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Oh hon, I'm sorry. :(

You deserve much, much better than this. Too bad we can't leave reviews on someone's dating profile.


Gryphonn November 16, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Hey Lori
I get your post notifications by email. Well, that was just a little trippy seeing 'Dear Brad' in the title. Then, I got real annoyed. The guy doesn't deserve a name like that. It puts all us Brads in a bad light.
I do hope someone eventually comes along that isn't a complete douche/cock/dickhead/arsewipe.
Love and hugs,
Brad (not *that* Brad)


Rachel November 16, 2012 at 2:03 am

Brad's an eejit. I'm sorry.

I hate dating as a single mom. Especially since online dating was my only way to meet people – it's poor form to bring kids to a bar, apparently. Who knew?

I got lucky and met my boyfriend online, and we've been together for 3 years now. I still freak out and think he'll break up with me and I'll have to start dating again. No fun.

I hope you can find a good guy sooner rather than later.


Miss Pink November 15, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Dear Brad,

You don't know how much you're missing. Really.


Kathy November 15, 2012 at 9:51 am

Ugh. Hugs for you, middle finger for Brad. There are ways to do these things honourably, and by text, then refusing to answer the phone, isn't one of them.


Anonymous November 14, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Aw, Lori, that SUCKS. I know it's hard. If you need to take a break and enjoy singledom for a while, take a break. Just never forget that you are loved and very much deserving of that love. HUG!

PS: I never have trusted those Brads… ;-)

– Crystal


Livi TeePot November 14, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Dating is hard, and it sucks in my opinion! I don't find it fun at all but stressful and scary! I am yet to meet someone from online dating who isn't just after sex, it really frustrates me.


Amy@MyLifeasaCake November 14, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Not that I want to be on his side, but I think this -(dating online makes finding sex easier, but finding love more difficult. If you don't like everything about that person, there's another fifty women out there that might do it for you) is a pretty true statement.


SL November 14, 2012 at 11:49 am

You know what gets me? It's not the lying anymore (as House says> Everybody lies) but what really gets me it's the disappearing act, one day they are at your full service/attention (phone, mails, txts, everything) next day there is only silence, and you try to contact them but nothing it's like *puff they just disappeared!


robomum November 14, 2012 at 11:30 am

BRAD = TOOL. That's all.


Edwina November 14, 2012 at 9:48 am

Aaah, men. There are a lot of toads out there, and a few princes too. It's a numbers game I think.

Reply November 14, 2012 at 8:40 am

…when people say they hate a thing, then do exactly that…

It just makes me seethe.

Don't lose faith in the male half of the species, despite their constants efforts to inspire you to do just that. There are good ones out there, it's just that they are often obscured by masses of indecisive fuckwits.


Tara @ Our Whirlwind Adventures November 14, 2012 at 11:19 am

Sucks to be you, Brad.
Now the whole female species know how much of a twat you are.
Again, sucks to be you.

Hugs Lori xo


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