June 2010

Steamy Windows

by Diminishing Lucy on June 30, 2010 · 17 comments

As promised, it’s sexy guest post time.. take it away Lucy!!

Hello all……..Lucy from Diminishing Lucy here

Scary. To be writing a sexy post to match Lori’s antics………

We don’t get out much, the lovely husband and I.

We have no family nearby; we have three small children, so “hot dates” are a rarity.

But we do have friends who baby sit for us on occasion. The ever lovely Alice & Ben, who we have know for over a decade, who have their own, older children, and who adore our little children. Who happily appear after their respective work days on a Friday, at our house, to have a nursery tea with the kids, to bath them, and to read them stories and put them to bed, so that the lovely husband and I can go out.

So we can go out and pretend that we have a life!


So we can go out and watch a movie that isn’t by Mr Disney or Mr Pixar.

So we can go out and eat curry rather than chicken nuggets.

So we can go out and hold each others hands, rather than the much stickier mitts of our children.

So we can skip down the road like bright young things, rather than skipping with a six, four and three year old.

So we can nip out in the two seater Porche rather than the seven seater Captiva.

So we can run out of the house unencumbered with bags of kid crap, with nothing more than a dinky little clutch holding nothing more than a credit card and my mobile. (Which is on silent, so that if there IS a drama, I can cheerfully ignore it.)

But one of the problems that this delightful scenario presents us with is this:

We have spent all evening together. No TV, no blog, no Twitter.

We are loved up.

We have flirted over the poppadoms.

Made eyes over the dahl.

Stroked hands & rubbed thighs whilst watching a rom com.

Gone too long without a bonk………..

So we are hot to trot.

Gagging for it.

Crackling with anticipation and lust.

Desperate to get home and rip each others clothes off and do what grown ups do……….shag the arse off each other……….

But the babysitting situation…..ummmmmm, can you feel the deflation? The cooling of ardour? Dare I say it, the anti-climax?

But wait!

We have the perfect, if slightly ropey solution.

It works.

It is hilarious.

It makes our nights out even riper with anticipation…….

We go parking……..like teenagers.

We have found a spot, with a view. A screw with a view, no less! Hahhaha!
It is not particularly romantic, nor tender coupling. it is not warm, nor sensual.
It is, however, hilarious, fast, knee trembling, naughty, and very very sexy.
It works, for us………..it works very well indeed…..
(Note to self. Must ‘phone and organise a babysitter for sometime soon……………)


Post It Notes To Pimp My GiveAway

by Lori Dwyer on June 29, 2010 · 12 comments

Aww, you made it all the way down there? Go on then, here’s the link- the Crappest GiveAway Ever.
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Aloha, munchkins,

Quite a while ago now, I mentioned I was thinking of doing the Crappest GiveAway Ever to celebrate my new blog makeover. And then.. erm.. I got lazy. And forgot about it. Whatever.

But I have a new flush of energy. It must be menopause, or not, or something. And the Crappest GiveAway Ever is back.

And, surprisingly, it’s not as crap as you may think.

Here’s the bootie, my lovely ones. The winner takes all.

Yup, that’s right. Those containers are big. Real big. A whole kilo of fruit drop bon bon thingies. A whole kilo of gum balls. And three two big arse lollipops* (The other one went and got itself eaten).

Oh yeah.

I know, jellybeans would have been more fitting, for branding purposes. But my sugar pushing pimp daddy was fresh out.

In the spirit of all things fun-like, I was actually going to do a lolly guessing competition. You know how it goes- y’all guess, and whoever gets closest wins the lollies. But I decided I was too lazy to count the lollies there might be legal issues with that.

So let’s have a pretend-lolly-guessing competition.

Ways to enter the Crappest GiveAway Ever are as follows……

Comment on it. With a guess as to how many lollies are in the jar. Keeping in mind that this will have absolutely no bearing on whether you win or not. I also wanna know, in that comment, what you will do with the leftover lollies when you have eaten so many you feel sick and you’re teeth are falling out of your head.{One entry}

Tweet about it. Link this post and use the hashtag #crappestgiveawayever. And tell me about it in a separate comment. {one entry}

Blog about it. And what lollies are your favorite. And how awesome I am and how much you love me. Again, leave a link too your post in a separate comment. {one entry}

Sleep with me {One entry}

Sleep with Wanderlust {One entry}

I’m only half joking about those last two.

And here’s the fine print.

This competition is open to all residents of the World. However… if you happen to be a resident of a country other than Australia, you may receive a prize other than foodstuffs, of equal or greater value, just not so much of a pain in the proverbial to ship, what with customs searching them for cocaine and all. This prize will be just as crap, I promise. If this does happen, the lolly pack will be redrawn until it is won by an Aussie or I am sent bankrupt shipping crap overseas, whichever happens first.

You gots to be a public Follower of this blog to enter. Click the Google box Friend doovy. If you do prefer to remain anonymous and still want to enter, that’s kind of dumb, but I will accept a screen shot of some kind proving you are subscribed to my feed. OK? OK. I really hope no one does that. What a pain in the arse.

Winner will be chosen totally randomly, using random.org, and contacted by email. All of which is good for branding purposes, unlike the non-existent jellybeans.You must leave your email address with your comment. You have 72 hours to reply and claim your prize or your modem will self destruct or a new winner will be chosen.

This competition opens on Monday June 28 2010 (like, now). Entries close 8pm Wednesday 7 July. The winner will be announced via a post on this blog, and emailed on Thursday 8 July.

And there you go. The first ever RRSAHM Crappest GiveAway Ever. Depending on how it’s received, there may be further, even crapper giveaways. I know, you’re all a quiver with excitement. How much do you love me….? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

*Lollipops pictured may have be eaten and replaced with similar lollipops by the time this prize is drawn.

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