I’ve always had this weird kind of conundrum when it comes to co-sleeping with my kids.
It’s so much easier to just let them crawl into my bed if need be. I was a single person in a two person bed, so there was plenty of room. It meant I got infinitely more sleep. And there’s something lovely about curling up next to the warmth of a little person, their sweet sleepy breath in your ear.
Now there are two people in the two people bed, and one of us isn’t as calloused as he will eventually be by the chronic sleep deprivation that comes with little kids, I’ve taken to dispatching myself to the Bump’s bed in the wee hours of the morning.
The girl child calls for me and (somewhat miraculously, given my constant, continuous level of tiredness) I respond. I slip in next to her warm, cuddly form in her small single bed. Once upon a month or so ago, she would have a steady reason to do so, every night. She would be cold, or scared, or have had a bad dream. She’s given up the charade completely now and simply says “Mummy! I want you in my bed!!”
The broken sleep messes with me. I’m not good when I’m tired. It makes all manner of PTSD and anxiety much, much worse. It lowers my immune system and causes dermatitis to rage over my hands and feet.
But at the same time, it’s almost kind of worth it. I know it won’t be like this forever. Ten years from now I may just be aching for the sweet softness of a child cuddled up next to me.
And besides that, I get it. It’s only human nature.
Who wants to sleep all by themselves, really, when the option of sleeping with someone beside you is there?