I’ve always had this weird kind of conundrum when it comes to co-sleeping with my kids.
It’s so much easier to just let them crawl into my bed if need be. I was a single person in a two person bed, so there was plenty of room. It meant I got infinitely more sleep. And there’s something lovely about curling up next to the warmth of a little person, their sweet sleepy breath in your ear.
The Chop gave up sleeping in my bed years ago. The Bump has been crawling her sleepy sweet self into my bed for the last few years, and has shown no immediate signs of wanting to stop.
Now there are two people in the two people bed, and one of us isn’t as calloused as he will eventually be by the chronic sleep deprivation that comes with little kids, I’ve taken to dispatching myself to the Bump’s bed in the wee hours of the morning.
The girl child calls for me and (somewhat miraculously, given my constant, continuous level of tiredness) I respond. I slip in next to her warm, cuddly form in her small single bed. Once upon a month or so ago, she would have a steady reason to do so, every night. She would be cold, or scared, or have had a bad dream. She’s given up the charade completely now and simply says “Mummy! I want you in my bed!!”
The broken sleep messes with me. I’m not good when I’m tired. It makes all manner of PTSD and anxiety much, much worse. It lowers my immune system and causes dermatitis to rage over my hands and feet.
But at the same time, it’s almost kind of worth it. I know it won’t be like this forever. Ten years from now I may just be aching for the sweet softness of a child cuddled up next to me.
And besides that, I get it. It’s only human nature.
Who wants to sleep all by themselves, really, when the option of sleeping with someone beside you is there?
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My daughter only gave up the midnight bed-hopping when we moved house a couple of years ago and no longer have a spare double bed to meet up in. She’s nearly 11 now and if I have to wake her in the mornings she scootches over and demands I lie down for a snuggle. I know it won’t last much longer so I’m all for taking my cuddles while I can!
Just go with it for now. You’re right that it won’t last forever. My daughter is now 17 and it’s a rare thing for her to let me love on her even a little. She made me stop kissing her on the lips four or five years ago…she TOLERATES (barely) kisses on the cheek and hugs.
I know it will come back around that I won’t be a source of complete embarrassment, but for now, I’d give anything to have that snuggly little four year old come climbing into bed with me.
Marianne recently posted…Tolkien
Ah yes, this too I can relate to!! The conundrum of the sweetness of cuddling with your child or even having them nestled beside your back, versus the screaming grumpy birch of tiredness from yet another crap night sleep. For me, if he would only sleep till say 3 or so before waking, well I could handle the last few hours cosleeping, but when he adds in a few extra wake ups, then I get so damned tired my skin hurts, my nerve endings feel cheese feathered and my loving mother self evaporates into irrational bitch.
But, yes, it’s not forever, and if its comforting and reassuring and fills your heart (mostly except when the tiredness cracks you) mostly it’s worth it. I think.
And by cheese feathered I meant cheese gratered…
I am having the same feelings about letting my baby sleep on me during the day. Its the easiest way to get her to sleep and stay asleep and I totally enjoy the cuddles, but at the same time everyone is in my ear about how its going to set me up for problems later on. I also get worse anxiety and dermatitis from broken sleep, but at the moment I think its worth it. In a couple of years I may look back and regret it, but for now I’m ok with it.
Toni recently posted…The greatest gift a man can give his daughter is to love her mother.
Toni, you can’t spoil a child with too much love. Enjoy your precious cuddles while you can
That’s the conclusion I’ve come to Mel.
toni recently posted…The greatest gift a man can give his daughter is to love her mother.