1 +1 = 2

by Lori Dwyer on December 7, 2011 · 31 comments

I generally try not to pay too much attention to the world around me. The news is depressing and I have enough crap going on to deal with.

Nor do I generally bring the issues of the big wide world onto my blog, unless they directly concern me. And, aside from the direct implications of general stuff on mental health, not much does. Sad, but true.

But this time, it’s different. I would say ‘this time, it’s personal’, which would be much more dramatic, but patently untrue. It’s not personal, really. It has nothing to do with me.

But my God, it makes me angry. And if I have a voice here, then let me use it.

For those of you who are not in Australia, there has been a fair bit of kerfuffle here lately concerning gay marriage. It’s illegal in this country. On Saturday there was a big, beautiful rally in Sydney where over 5 000 people- gay and straight, every nationality and walk of life- protested the basic right for everyone, regardless of their sexual preference, to be able to show their love to world, legally.

How stupid. How distasteful and disappointing and dumb. The fact that over 5 000 people have to protest to get any kind of result here makes me sick. What is wrong with our government? Why is this even a debate at all??

Love is love. Why isn’t that the end of the story?

1 + 1=2, every time. Two consenting adults, expected to pay taxes, be functioning members of society, be responsible and obey the law… and yet we tell people, as if they’re children, that they can’t have a piece of paper and a ceremony that joins them in the eyes of the society they have to follow the rules of??

What kind of logic is that?

I’m not even going anywhere near the religious aspects of this one. Because it’s irrelevant… the Big Man and I are at a standoff, anyway. Many people- myself included- get married with no mention of the G-word.

The most infuriating, frustrating, distressing part of this whole thing is that those 5 000 people came out in a direct response to a smaller rally protesting against gay marriage. That’s sad.

There are people out there who will, quite literally, take time out of their day to protest against love. To stand and yell and make signs to outlaw people legally loving each other.

How stupid. How sad. What a fucking travesty, that some people have nothing better to do, then protest against the very thing that makes the world turn.

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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }

Bronwyn June 30, 2012 at 9:32 am

I agre with you 100%. I think it is terrible that people have to fight so hard for something that should just be seen as a human right.

I respect that marriage has had its origins in the church but it has moved beyond that. The case that the current definition of marriage is based Hyde v Hyde 1866 – Lord Penzance (… and no I am not making this up. It is not something out of Gilbert and Sullivan) did not recognise the marriage as it was not a christian marriage. I think on this point alone we can see that marriage has evolved and moved on. I think that alost 150 years later we need to make the next step.


My Mummy Daze June 29, 2012 at 10:29 am

I whole-heartedly agree Lori. The whole thing is baffling. Let's just legalise and let everyone share the love. It's as absurd as inter-racial marriage being illegal back in the day. Thanks for linking-up x


Livi December 13, 2011 at 7:05 am

This genuinely mystifies me! Gay marriage, straight marriage, who cares?!


Kirsty @ Bowerbird Blue December 8, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Marriage already goes on between atheists, fools, non believers, semi believers, it happens outside churches, in casinos, on boats, in the air, for crying out loud – there is no sanctity of marriage held by Christianity – good and bad people do it,people do it for many reasons that have nothing to do with religion. Why shouldn't gay people be allowed? I know no happier couple than my sister and her girlfriend and can't believe these old fashioned laws exist.


Anonymous December 8, 2011 at 10:22 am

Firstly can I say well done guys for keeping this respectful.

Enlightened-one – I'm anonymous 1 lol – sorry I don't have link, my name is Chris. I've studied theology at uni and interestingly enough when you see references to the English translated word "homosexual" it's root meaning in both Greek and Hebrew is actually "male pedophile" – so not exactly the same way we mean it.

Historically at that time as well in the Corinthian church, pagan influences affected the Christian church so the writings were clarifying acceptable practices for Christians of that time. Paul's letters to the Corinthians are the most detailed rules in the bible regarding the church and it's teachings BUT we need to remember the audience it was directed to and under which context.

That said, I get that most gay couples would prefer a civil ceremony outside of the church – but I then have to wonder why a "civil union marriage" isn't good enough? Can't they have commitment ceremonies presently? Name changes can take place by de poll – so if it's a commitment they want to make in front of loved ones, and they want a piece of paper and a name change – well that's all available now. I have to then come back to wondering why push for the current laws to change?

And yes, marriage was born in Christianity and later held it's purpose with state as a means of a census for families. But it is still originated in Christianity!! Homosexual references in the bible aren't what we think as homosexuality. Jesus was saying that predator behavior towards young boys was evil and those people are criminal in the eyes of God. The bible however is very clear that marriage is between man and wife

I feel it's very important to clarify that homosexual people wouldn't be automatically excluded from a life with God. It just means their union isn't recognized by a church. So my stance is it shouldn't happen. I do believe that a civil union is fine! I can't see why this needs to be debated really – homosexual couples are given all the samerights as heterosexual couples – even down to being able to partake in commitment ceremonies and have access to de poll for name changes. Leave marriage in the church where it started.

Sorry for any spelling mistakes or bits that don't make sense – this was post from my iphone


Anonymous December 8, 2011 at 7:29 am

If I'm honest, up until a couple of days ago, I was one of those 'against' gay marriage. I didn't know why, but I just felt like it went against what I believed. I am not a practising christian, but I was brought up in the Christian faith.

So after not being able to pinpoint the basis for my objections, I did some research into the history of marriage. From my limited understanding, the roots of marriage arose from Christianity, but then there was a point where it was registered for government/legal purposes – there was now a 'religious' part and a 'civil' part (the signing of the register) of the ceremony.

This changed my view entirely.

I think my objection, and possibly the objection of many others, is that it felt as if the government was trying to change the 'religious' aspect of marriage, but I now realise this is not the case. I have always believed that gay couples should have equal rights, it was just the use of the term 'marriage' that I fought against (to me, it felt as if it was undermining the sanctity of my religious marriage), but after my research into the history and origins of marriage, I'm fully in support. ALL couples should have the freedom to declare their love and commitment to eachother in marriage.

I understand that this reasoning may not be the same for anyone else, but I would hazard a guess to say that a lot of the opposition to gay marriage is based on 'feelings' and ignorance rather than fact, as it clearly was for me.

P.s. I apologise if I have offended anyone with what I have written, but I thought it may be helpful to get a view from the 'other side'. I don't consider myself judgemental against homosexual couples (some of my closest friends and family are in homosexual relationships), but there was always unease for me when considering the prospect of legalising marriage for homosexual couples. I'm happy to admit now, that I was wrong.


nzm December 8, 2011 at 5:27 am

This comment has been removed by the author.


nzm December 8, 2011 at 5:25 am

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Anonymous December 8, 2011 at 4:29 am

Ignorance loves company is the only way to acknowledge their disgusting view on how others should live their lives. Who are they to say who can love who? And people that say it is a learned behavior and that no one is born gay. Idiots!! Boy do I love Lady Gaga for her beliefs and her amazing born this way song. It means things for people on all levels, not just their personal preferences. I have a 4 y/o daughter and although we haven't encountered any kids with same sex parents (wish we would have by now) I tell her that girls can loves girls, etc, etc. And that it is okay. And "normal". Whatever normal is. But I want it in her head that anyone can do whatever they want to. I want her to be a leader and stand up for other kids if they are being made fun of for being gay, having gay parents, or whatever the situation may be. These people at that rally, they are ADULT BULLIES. That is what they are!!! Lisa


Melissa December 7, 2011 at 10:39 pm

It's always risky to blog about politics, especially something as heated as gay marriage – way to go, Lori – to stand up for something you believe in.
Love, love, love that guy with the corduroy skirt sign – that is epic.


Andrea December 7, 2011 at 9:31 pm

I totally agree Lori – I can't believe that it's still up for bloody debate!!


whatkatedidnext December 7, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Well said Lori! Love is love.


enlightned-one December 7, 2011 at 8:15 pm

Hmmmmmmmmm, Anonymous………
Who said they would get married through the church? I am sure there would be few gay couples who would want to partake in the act of marriage with in the religious confines of the church!!!!
With such versus from the bible as
1."homosexual offenders" among "the wicked" (1 Corinthians 6:9).

2."homosexual offenders" among those who He determines will "not inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Corinthians 6:9).

3. Historically, homosexuality has incurred God's destructive wrath upon an entire city (Gen. 19:4-5, 11-13).

4. God's word defines the men of Sodom as "sinning greatly" because of their men having sex with men (Genesis 13:13; 19:5).

5. God calls Sodom's sin "sexual perversion" (Jude 1:7). Societies that remain in perversion (Sodom, Rome…) are on the road to destruction.

6. God's word identifies husband-wife relations as "natural relations" and homosexual relations as "unnatural ones" (Romans 1:26-27) and "perversion" (vs. 27).

7. God's word also rebukes those who "approve of those who practice" homosexuality (Romans 1:32).

8. Jesus settled the marriage issue once for all, declaring that God had made them "male and female … a man … [and] his wife" (Matthew 19:4-5).
I agree, gay couples should not be able to get married in a Church….. But why would they? If you say Anonymous, that u r happy for Gay couples to have every other right other than marriage? It's like a teaser! Segregation! We are but one, and all our indifference's should be celebrated, for as if we were all the same, the world would be dull, boring, tasteless…… Bland! There would be no imagination! No new creation, our world would not be worth living! Hahaha so dramatic I am! :)


Anonymous December 7, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Marriage began in the Christian church as a union between man and wife. Government aside, whether you choose to marry for religion or other the fact remains you are partaking in a ceremony and union which is primarily a religious thing.

While I have no issue whatsoever with gay couples getting every single benefit any other human is entitled to – asking the church to grant this union to gay couples is wrong. Why should the church change what's their doctrine of more than 2000 years? You can't say that legalizing gay marriage means churches can refuse to marry them because can you imagine the next saga of debate?

Leave it as is I say – bewteen man and woman. Gay couples are recognized in every other way socially and legally – but I say leave the sanctity within the church.


Leimay December 7, 2011 at 4:02 pm

AMEN Lori!


Samantha Mawdsley December 7, 2011 at 3:11 pm

It infuriates me that I even have to "support" this issue. What issue? It's two consenting adults in love. So what? Move on! If they want to get married, let them. I've marched in rallies & signed petitions & each time I do I get a little bit more angry that this is even an issue.
Nobody gets a say on who I choose to love, because it's a man but if it were a woman, suddenly I need to wait for the government to decide if that love is OK.
Lori, you made a very good point when you said "Many people- myself included- get married with no mention of the G-word." If that is allowed, and is of course still recognised as a marriage, why can't two people of the same sex do the same thing? xx


Miss Pink December 7, 2011 at 1:47 pm

I am loving seeing all the posts in support of this.
The whole thing makes me so angry, and I am so confused as to why it is an issue in the first place, and how people could possibly be against it, that I cannot even begin to write about the situation. I get too mad, and let off far too many f-bombs which really aren't going to get me anywhere.
Maybe what we need to do is get our good ol' bogan PM roaring drunk on some VB's and get her to sign off on it?
I bet she'd feel right at home in Campbelltown.


enlightned-one December 7, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Ha your dead on Toni!
The bible says not to judge your brother, as it is only for God to judge.
Tupac says it best………..

"Only God Can Judge Me"
(feat. Rappin 4-Tay)

Only God can judge me, is that right?
Only God can judge me now
Only God baby, nobody else, nobody else
All you other motherfuckers get out my business


enlightned-one December 7, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Wow, read these statistic's, no wonder we are controlled by 'The Church'. When will people come to there sense's(no pun intended)? Arrrr you frustrate me Australia! Where are all these people? Everyone I meet, is either spiritual or an atheist! Is the census rigged? Or is it overwhelmed by an aging population? Get with the times Australia!!!!!!!!!!!
In the 21st century, religion in Australia is demographically dominated by Christianity, with 64% of the population claiming at least nominal adherence to the Christian faith as of 2007, although less than a quarter of those attend church weekly.[2] 18.7% of Australians declared "no-religion" on the 2006 Census with a further 11.2% failing to answer the question.[2][3] The remaining population is a diverse group that includes Islamic and Buddhist communities.[4]


Mrs BC December 8, 2011 at 12:06 am

Abso fucking lutely.


Seaside Siblings December 7, 2011 at 10:37 am

Well said!

I am so pround to live in New Zealand. Here we recognises gay 'marrage' although they call it a civil union.


enlightned-one December 7, 2011 at 8:58 am

I believe in equal rights for gays, especially as they are treated by the tax department, just as those in a heterosexual relationship, although I don't believe in the whole sanctity of marriage it's self, as I believe it is a form of ownership over another, scared that, that person will escape u and leave u stranded all alone, if a ring or ball and chain is not fixed to hold them down. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against those who choose to get married, as I have gone down that road and do not regret getting married one bit. As I have grown, I have found that my views have changed and I believe in two individuals, sharing in life, becoming one, but then to escape and be free to enjoy the inner peace in ones self, thus keeping the vitality and individuality of the relationship alive, rather than it becoming all about 'the relationship'.
As for religion……..
Marriage is celebrated in all kinds of shapes and forms, cultures and religions, so for the Catholic Church or any Church for that matter, to have such a hold over a countries freedom to love one another is truly preposterous!


Sarah Kaye December 7, 2011 at 8:50 am

I also feel the frustration well up inside me when i see this. The worst i think is the "slippery slope" argument where opposers declare that if we allow gay marriage what will come next? They lump people in love together with some very sick individuals.

Your point is so right. This is just love, people in love wanting to declare it to the world & have the same rights.


Krista December 7, 2011 at 8:48 am

There's a constant battle in the States over Gay Marriage as well. In addition, the battle gets even more political in the debate over state's rights versus federal rights. Some states have legalized gay marriage. Some cities have legalized it, then to get it shot down by the state. There are discussions that the federal government should make laws against it.

Then there's the debate of separation of the Church and the State (state as in government in general).

But no matter how you look at the issue it's still boils down to one thing. The government make laws about what is ultimately a moral issue. When the gvt starts doing that, things get way more heated and unnecessarily crazy.

Someone else's sexual preference does not physically hurt me or my property. therefore I don't see why the gvt has any say.

I'm right there with you, lady!


Kirsty @ Bowerbird Blue December 7, 2011 at 8:42 am

My daughter's rocking a very cool corduroy skirt this week, with mushrooms and spotty apples, don't knock the corduroy!


Kirsty @ Bowerbird Blue December 7, 2011 at 8:41 am

You lead a very small life when you worry about who is loving each other! Oh no, look at that, two boys smiling happily together, save us. There are a few heterosexual relationships I would protest about, but the homosexual ones near me are actually lovely, my sister's girlfriend is awesome.


Kelloggsville December 7, 2011 at 8:27 am

As a Christian I believe in the sanctity of marriage between a man and woman in the eyes of god and think the church would be hypocritical to support any thing else. However, I also believe that gay people have the absolute right to declare their love publically, openly and with the same legal rights as those married in any way that is recognised by law. Gay people also have the right to our respect and common decency. Corduroy skirts however leave me slightly unsettled and wondering if that chap may have a point.


Jennifer December 7, 2011 at 8:23 am

You are right to be pissed, Lori! We have the same insanity going on over here in USA. I agree with you – I think the world needs all the love it can get, in whatever form it may come.


Steph(anie) December 7, 2011 at 8:19 am



Toni December 7, 2011 at 12:26 pm

I used to be in a homophobic church, and the attitude was one of the reasons I left.
IF They're right, and gay married people will go to hell, then why does that bother Them? It's not Them that would suffer, so what business is it of Theirs?
I don't get it.
Also, They're saying that if gay people are allowed to marry, it opens the door to polygamy — HOW???
Can you not make a law that says ONLY ONE SPOUSE AT A TIME?
One of my BFs is gay, and it wouldn't hurt me, or my own marriage, one jot if she were to marry.


Steph in Tampa December 7, 2011 at 11:56 am

Amen, sister!

And btw, am I missing something with the corduroy skirts issue? Do people actually give a crap if someone wears a corduroy skirt?

I don't get it.


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