I’ve got a real, big-girl job for the first time in about six years. It’s only two days a week; and it doesn’t sound like a big deal… but it feels like it is. I’ve been lucky enough to make some money from blogging… but I’m not sure it really counts as a job.
I started work last week. For reasons of confidentiality, it’s not something I’ll write about much. I will say that’s it working with teenagers in a medical setting, but providing entertainment and distraction for them. I’m employed by an organisation I used to work for years ago, before I had my kids. It’s something I love to do and I’m passionate about and I’m feeling pretty blessed to have gotten the job I did. It all sort of fell into pace. I needed something to get me out of the rut I’ve been in, and I think this is perfect.
But it feels weird. It feels strange to leave my kids for such big chunks of time. The Most Amazing Man has been pretty damn awesome about it. He takes care of the kidlets, and they love being with him. The guilt remains though. It’s not mortally heavy… it will pass, I think; get that little bit easier every time I don’t pick them up from school or tuck them into bed myself.
Going back to work feels like being in a different world. One that’s outside my own head. A world that encompasses a bigger perspective than the one I see in front of me all the time.
And it feels like there is some pressure off. I lost a bit of my passion for writing, for blogging, because it felt like a necessity- I had to write, to make money. And now I don’t, not so much. The pressure to take on sponsored posts won’t be as great. So I write what I like, when I like. I know there’s been a bit of a glut of sponsored content lately, and there’s a few more posts coming up that I’ve already committed to doing. I’m sorry about that. I can fairly confidently say that there won’t be nearly as many after the next couple of weeks.
Anyway. The good news is.. I’m in a happy place right now. Things feel exciting again. I’ve rediscovered that passion for living that I’ve been missing the last six months or so.
Things are good right now. I’m just basking in the warm, happy glow of it all.