by Lori Dwyer on February 21, 2012 · 16 comments

Femininity is subjective.

I don’t know why having short hair challenges it so much. I think part of it not having hair to flick around, to hide behind, to use as a fan in front of flirting eyes.

I’ve taken to wear bigger earring, chunkier necklaces, more makeup. I pay more attention to what I’m wearing now, it’s not as acceptable to just run to the shops in my track suit pants and slippers. It’s not anyone elses reactions to me– it’s the way I feel about it, the way I see myself in my mind.

Everyone has a mental image of themselves, the way they see themselves. Their self image. I’m still adjusting to seeing myself with short hair. When I’m not a bit dressed up I feel… well… a bit masculine. I don’t even like admitting that, it feels like another one of those anti–feminisms. But it’s truth.

Faux glasses and red lippie makes me feel… a bit arty.

It certainly has its benefits. It makes me pay more attention to my general appearance, even the bits and pieces that no one else pays any attention but me. I shave my legs, do my bikini line, pluck stray hairs from my brows on a much more regular basis than I used to. With the increased focus on dressing in way that’s flattering and feminine, and choosing different jewelry to wear each day; it’s works subtlety on my self esteem. I find myself more confident, without hair to hide behind. I’m more certain of what I’m wearing, that it looks good, because i took a few extra minutes to choose it. I even pay more attention to my hair than I usually did when it was long– as matter of course I would throw it back in a messy ponytail, add some bobby pins to keep it out of my eyes. Now I wax it with care and am the Imelda of hats, scarves and hair bands. Ironically, it now takes me ten minutes to do my hair instead of two, because I wax it and press it down, focus on strands of it and exactly where they sit.

The image of me that rests in my head varies wildly between pretty and sparkly and spunky, to dull and chunky and masculine. Some days I feel bigger than I am, my cheeks feel over blown and chipmunk–full. But the sparkly me becomes more and more frequent as that confidence grows, flamed by the increased focus on how I look and what I’m wearing, of how much body maintenance I’ve done, and how that all adds up to effect how I feel.

It’s so easy to be inherently feminine when my hair is long and flowing. This, struggling with it, simply makes me more aware of it. It’s another bonus of that skin shedding that came with the pixie cut… the emancipation of Lori.

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Shellye February 23, 2012 at 11:52 am

Lori, I love your hair, and I've never thought of anything that's not feminine about you! I would love to see pics of these earrings and clothes! Do a fashion show blog!

I love the red lips, and while I love the glasses, I think they're a bit too big and hide your dainty features. You should try a cat's eye frame in black. A cat's eye frame can be worn on every face shape. (Yours is oval.) Avoid aviators. They only work on someone with a square jaw line, or with sharp features. (Smaller aviators can sometimes be worn on a heart shaped face, but they generally have to be girly in some form or fashion.)

You will think your cheeks will seem bigger at first until you get used to your short do. There are tricks you can use with your blush to make them appear smaller, but I say accentuate them! Use it to your advantage.

Big, dangly earrings are a must with short hair! Show them off with pride!

Let me know if and when you do a fashion show blog!


Jen D February 22, 2012 at 5:36 am

So happy you are embracing it! Again, I totally think it suits you.


Melissa February 21, 2012 at 10:32 pm

You look lovely and feminine – but I really love that you FEEL lovely and feminine :)
Keep up the good work.


Sharon A. February 21, 2012 at 2:00 pm

You look great! I think it's a good thing when we constantly rethink our views and subconscious attitudes towards our own femininity.


Me February 21, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Love that photo of you – you look so happy and content with who you are right at that moment.

I too went from long long hair to a pixie cut and noticed how different I felt about myself. I have started to grow it again but the little changes I made when it was short (like make-up etc) have stayed with me and I try to take a little more time with my appearance still.

Have a fantastic day !


Mum on the Run February 21, 2012 at 12:44 pm

I've always felt that short hair on women is so beautiful.
Without long tresses to cover and hide behind, your beauty is even more accessible.
You look absolutely fabulous.


pinktutu72 February 21, 2012 at 11:51 am

I really like your hair like that. You have the face for it :) Plus that red looks great on you!


Jennifer Kay February 21, 2012 at 11:26 am

OMG Lori that lip color is amazing! You look like a totally different person and I mean this in a very nice way…you look so much better.

Artsy chicks are sexy!


Kelloggsville February 21, 2012 at 10:14 am

You are looking good girl :)


Anna @ green tea n toast February 21, 2012 at 10:06 am

I agree that short hair requires a bit of effort to feel great. I accidentally ended up with short hair a while ago (mis-communication with a new hairdresser!) and found it hard work. Yours looks great though! Love the red lippy too. x


Being Me February 21, 2012 at 10:01 am

And here she comes! Your crowning glory complements you beautifully now. Lovely. Simply lovely. xox


rambling mum February 21, 2012 at 9:25 am

LOVE your pic in this post! Looking great! I am like anonymous who is hiding behind longer hair, unhappy with my own self, for no particular reason. I always think that once I lose weight I will again have the confidence to have short hair (it has been very short at different times in life)but I am still to lose the weight!


Anonymous February 21, 2012 at 9:10 am

I love your new style!
When I was younger (and thinner) I adored my short, razor cut hair. Now I am terrified to visit a salon, for fear the stylist will cut off too much, even while loathing my overly long locks. I KNOW that my hair is hiding something. I wish I could find my youthful confidence, and the energy it took to keep short hair looking fab.


riversnake February 21, 2012 at 9:01 am

You are inspiring, love! I think I just may join you when warmer weather reaches me here in The States. I could use some shedding myself, particularly in the self esteem department. Perhaps we should start a social movement so that all women at one time cut their hair short to learn love themselves outside of the box.



Lady Fabulous February 21, 2012 at 8:56 am

You look GORGEOUS!


Toni February 21, 2012 at 9:55 am

Lori I LOVE the pixie cut. I think you look gorgeous.


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