Guseindheit,
It appears my cleaning fairy has run away. Bitch. I’m not sure how she got out- the cupboard under the stairs was firmly locked- but she left a note.
Herumph.
Ah well. Consider this my advertisement for a new one.
Position Vacant– Cleaning fairy. Light cooking, ironing and dog grooming also required.
Location– Purple House, leafy Sydney ‘burbs.
Duties– Vacuum, mop, dust, wash, iron, fold, wipe, sort, cook, chop, peel, change, air, scrub, polish and repair various household and personal items.
Hours– 10 hours a day, seven days a week. Overtime during times of illness or unrest expected.
Conditions– Room and board.
*Room- Cupboard under stairs, fitted with teeny tiny bed and bedding.
*Board- Three meals a day, including but not limited to fairy bread, fairy bread and chewable elf-strength Valium.
Hazard Disclosure– The Purple House appears to be run by some form of evil wizard who is hellbent on ensuring the housework here is a never-ending, self-rejuvenating chore. Residents of the Purple House include a cat, dog and two small children, all of whom may present a danger to the wellbeing of the fairy employed. Fairies with delicate dispositions are discouraged from applying for this position. (Mythical Creature Anti- Discrimination and Incrimination Act, 2001 Section 4:3).
Any fairies, elves or other small, cute make-believe creatures are welcome to submit an application. Please call 0405 RRSAHM for further information.
And if anyone sees the cleaning fairy that ran away, can you please let me know? There’s some cash missing from my purse.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
I LOVE it!! So funny.
I don't know where your fairy went but I do know one thing, it sure as hell isn't at my place.
Oops. I think she met her last on my windshield. I was in a hurry. *sorry*
Perhaps if you are in touch with the Cleaning Fairy Union (CFU) you can let them know that I am considering applicants as well.
Hey! I want a cleaning fairy!
How do you come up with this stuff? The cat threw her a party? Too funny!
If you find your old one, could you send her my way? I need to do a major clean up before my mothers group comes to my house on Thursday!
I think you're cleaning fairy has convinced my cleaning fairy to run away with her!
That note from your ex fairy is hilarious…….xx
Any takers?
Don't we all need a cleaning fairy!
I soooo what a cleaning fairy!
Oh, I'm hearing you!
I looked around my house today, and saw all the things that need doing! Including wiping over the shelves, clean smudges off the windows, t.v, Oh heck, EVERYTHING needs wiping over!
My shower is a disgrace & I have a pile of washing that would make you quiver with fear!
If you find a cleaning fairy..see if she has any friends!
Your fairy is a princess, only working 10 hour days. Mine cleared out years ago when I worked her for 14 hours a day plus ironing. Haven't seen the bottom of the basket since…. She had it good, hope she comes back for you!
Hilarious! I think a cleaning fairy would walk into my house and immediately turn around and fly her little butt away.
Send the unsuccessful applicants my way, will you?