How Not To Write A Guest Post.

by Lori Dwyer on March 1, 2013 · 5 comments

There’s nothing much I can say here, really. Take it away, Mel…


I spoke to Lori quite some time ago about writing a post her blog. This blog. She threw the doors open and said I could choose my topic. Write about anything, she said, go nuts. Or some version of that. I have adhered to her instructions perfectly and driven myself around the bend and back again attempting to write THE perfect guest post for her. I think, in the end I did it. It’s a perfect balance of me and her. It’s us in a blog post. It came to me one day as I drank another litre of coffee, tapped away at the keyboard for the millionth time. And it was perfect.

The selection of a topic was the first hurdle I encountered. What do I write about? My blog is about me, me, me, me, which hardly translates to someone else’s blog. So I considered writing something like 5 steps to get and stay happy. But it seemed trivial in the face of the serious business that is this blog. And my friends, well they tell me, that I write better if I’m not trying too hard. I considered writing about my life. But most of you don’t know me, so that’s probably not that interesting to you. There’s no relatedness. No connection {yet! I’ll get you. Love me, love me!}. I considered writing about the darkness, when it creeps up on you. My own struggles with bipolar and anxiety. And I did. But I went and posted it on my blog. Whoops.

In the end, I decided to write a post about what goes through the mind of one blogger when you give her an open forum and free rein. So my very next concern is delivering something of quality. Of substance. Or at very least a post that entertains. I post once or twice a day on my own blog, all the good stuff goes there {brilliant, riveting, hilarious. Promise}. Sometimes I write a post and I’m like, meh, I’ll keep that one. To write a guest post is a selfless act indeed. To hand over something that is good, maybe even better than what you have written for your own blog in a while, to someone else to publish is hard. And if you ask my Mum, well, I just don’t share very well. But in spite of this I start to write anyway. I start to form the words, they appear on the screen one after another after another.

Then come the vanity concerns. What if they don’t get me? Worse. What if they don’t LIKE ME!? What if her readers are annoyed at the sudden hand over of this space to a new face? What if, panic, gag, they demand Lori reclaim the space and purge me from it immediately? All concerns triggered by my ego and that little voice inside me that reminds me day after day in its finicky little voice in my head, that no, no one likes you, you’re not very smart and I think your nose is too big. Bet you’ve had your own encounter with that fellow. He’s a jerk.

So it takes a while and soon I just let go and let God. Or, you know, whoever is in charge of such things. I think deep down it could be me, but don’t tell anyone. And I write. I write about my fears, my triumphs and I write about the things that make us the same person, connected by our human being’ness. I write this post and I realise, it’s kind of perfect for Lori’s beautiful blog. It’s a post that is what it is. It’s beautiful in its own way, lilting like a song, challenging too. It talks to the frailness of the human spirit, the need for community and for love. The desperate searching if those things are lacking.

It turns the corner and my blog post about guest posting becomes a lesson in life’s lessons. It becomes a lesson is letting go of the things you can’t control. It’s a lesson in friendship and the things we do to help out our friends. It becomes about community and love and personal battles. It’s a manifesto of blogging from the core of your being and allowing all things their time. Seasons change and all that. And just like that, it’s done.

It’s perfect. I send it off. I smile, content.


This is not that post.

This is just a tribute.



Melissa Walker Horn is the chief blogger at Suger Coat It, a blog about living the sweet life. Known as Suger on her blog, Melissa loves her family, too much butter on fresh bread, laughing with your back teeth showing and anything with stripes on it. A social media addict and consultant, you’ll find her anywhere you search for Suger with an E


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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Miss Pink March 1, 2013 at 6:35 pm

You gotta believe it
And I wish you were there
Just a matter of opinion.

My opinion? You are blogging royalty. You are such a gorgeous person Mel, inside and out and you are one of those people who can’t help but infect the room with laughter and happiness. You are wise, and oh so strong, stronger than you think, even when you don’t feel it, I know it’s there.

I totally relate to the guest posting. You want your best work, something fun, something people can relate to, but also it seems silly not to have those BAM! posts on your own blog, for your readers, not someone elses. I find a lot of pressure to guest post. I tend to blog in the moment, sometimes it gets published, sometimes not, sometimes it’s tweaked a little. In the moment writing isn’t always very good for other peoples blogs, and yet you still want that writing to reflect you and your blog.


Melissa {Suger} March 4, 2013 at 12:15 pm

Naaaw, you’re SO great to me. Thanks Miss Pink. Clearly you don’t share well either. :P
Melissa {Suger} recently posted…Coming home.My Profile


Emily March 1, 2013 at 3:23 pm

Haha, love it! I couldn’t remembaaaaaaaaaah the greatest post in the world, no. NO! This is a tribu-u-u-u-u-ute!
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Melissa {Suger} March 4, 2013 at 12:16 pm

Haha. Sing it lady!


Melissa {Suger} March 1, 2013 at 11:42 am

Thanks for having me Lori. It was my pleasure. Sort of. ;)
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