Just… F*ck It.

by Lori Dwyer on September 25, 2011 · 79 comments

For those of you missed it on Twitter earlier tonight, my dog Scarlette died tonight.

This new house… she got under the house, then out through a gap. The onto the road.

 The road here…. people go too fast. And it’s very, very dark.

 A nice neighbour, two doors up, knocked on my door and asked me if I owned a small black dog. I knew what he was going to say… he wouldn’t tell me she was dead. He asked if my husband was here.

 Scarlie’s buried in the backyard of our new house here in TinyTrainTown. I guess the best I can do is think she’s with Tony now… he’s got his dog back.

The Chop and his dog, on the beach in Paradise

I’m not sure how I’ll tell my kids. Actually, that’s a lie- I know exactly how I’ll do it. I’ve done it before. That’s the worst bit of it. At two and almost four, my children are going to understand much more about death than any kid deserves to.

My son is not even four. He’s lost two of his best mates, two constants in his life. What the hell is the universe doing? What the fuck? Give us a break. We don’t deserve anymore shit.

That dog was part of our family. Even more so since Tony died. She was such a good girl- good with the kids, a comfort to me, loyal and protective and without a particle of road sense.

Just…. fuck. That is all. I don’t know what else to say. It’s my daughters birthday party tomorrow. At least that will take our mind off things for a bit. Wish me luck.

And I know, she’s just a bloody dog… but…. I don’t think I have to explain how damn sad this is. It just feels like another little chunk of our family is gone.

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{ 79 comments… read them below or add one }

Not a Granny April 12, 2012 at 8:37 am

Dear Anonymous,

I just had to come out of lurking to tell you that you are an idiot.

*hugs* Lori


Sapere Aude April 12, 2012 at 8:34 am

Dear Anonymous, yes I'm sure Lori contributes to her bad luck, as if she told the dog to escape you nong head. Why comment after such a long time anyway. Go and get a life instead of stirring shit.


Mrs Hirons April 12, 2012 at 8:02 am

Dear Anonymous.

You are a twat.

Lots of love to you all Lori.



Anonymous April 10, 2012 at 10:00 pm

You have the worst karma ever. Do you think that you contribute to some of this 'bad luck'?


ally September 30, 2011 at 9:56 am

no words



marketingtomilk September 27, 2011 at 1:30 am

Not just a bloody dog. So sorry.g



Jodie Ansted September 26, 2011 at 3:33 pm

I'm so sorry to hear about your dog, hon. Devastating. xxx


Sonia September 26, 2011 at 1:14 pm

i am so so sorry – Your post just made me cry for your little ones and you. I hope your daughters party brings a little much needed sunshine. xxx Sonia


Anonymous September 26, 2011 at 1:12 pm

i am so so sorry – Your post just made me cry for your little ones and you. I hope your daughters party brings a little much needed sunshine. xxx Sonia


Crystal September 26, 2011 at 10:10 pm

OMG, that is awful!! I don't even know what to say except I am so, so very sorry… I've lost beloved pets before and it's just horrible. HUG!!!


Being Me September 26, 2011 at 10:45 am

My heart breaks for you. I am beyond sorry you and your sweet kids have had this constant stolen away. Gut-wrenched for you at having to break the news, so sad about the days ahead for you all. They're never "just dogs" to me. Never, ever, ever. I'm giving thanks for far from the first time to this Universe that seems to see fit for my old girl (pushing 19 now) to still be here. Gnarled and smelly and demented as she now is.


Dionne September 26, 2011 at 10:40 am

I've never posted anything and don't have much more to say than what has been said but felt you and the kids needed a BIG (((((HIG)))))


Kerry September 26, 2011 at 9:59 am

Oh, Lori, I'm so sorry. They are never "just" dogs. You said it right, they are a part of the family. I was absolutely devastated when our dog, Lulu, died at 12 years old. We had her since she was four months old. It's never quite the same without them. They always make our lives happier. Sending you love and hugs. R.I.P. Scarlette.


Karen September 26, 2011 at 9:58 am

That's like a double kick in the gut (sorry I typed gonads but well, you are, I am, a woman and needn't say that)!! Seriously effed up that is. I'm so sorry.


Susan September 26, 2011 at 9:55 am

I'm so sorry, you have had enough loss.

Hugs to you and the kids, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Make tomorrow a day to remember for your little girl, that's all you can do.



Martha September 26, 2011 at 9:53 am

Losing a pet is hard anytime. Hugs for you and your kids.


Amba @ Team Mummy September 26, 2011 at 9:46 am

I'm so sorry Lori.

I hope you're husband and dog are in heaven together at peace looking down on you and the babes keeping you safe : (


Sophie September 26, 2011 at 9:44 am

Oh Lori, I am so sorry. :( Urrgh. You really didn't need this.



Kathy September 26, 2011 at 9:44 am

I'm so sorry, Lori. A dog is a part of the family in any circumstances, but in yours … Words fail me. *Hugs* if you want them.


littleloulou September 26, 2011 at 9:42 am

Oh Lori! Not just a dog, a part of your world, a part of the before, a piece of your little family. Love and luck xx


Shellye September 26, 2011 at 6:07 am

Also meant to add that I have two kitties who are part of the family, and the bunny we had that died was part of the family, and it doesn't get any easier. We had a scare with my oldest cat who almost died of an infection. He quit grooming and lost a pound, but we were able to get him medical care. (The older cat has been with me for twelve years, saw me through a bad marriage and a divorce and started over with me in my second marriage.) I know your dog meant so much to you…


Shellye September 26, 2011 at 6:03 am

Lori, I'm sorry for your loss. I wish there was something I could do. I am praying for you, Chop, and Bump.

We reluctantly took in a bunny a couple of months after ours had died (after I said "NO" for a month), because the family's son was allergic to their family pet. When nobody else would take the bunny after two months and they could find nobody to take the bunny, I finally agreed after finding out he was only a year old (they live for six) and in good health. The family brings the bunny over. We were glad we met the family, really nice people, and we set up the cage and put him in it. We got the bunny out the next night, and he died as I was holding him. I cried the entire next day and blamed myself for whatever happened to him. My husband said that perhaps us taking the bunny when we did must have spared the little boy from having to see his beloved pet die. If that's the case, I'm glad I did it, but I will NEVER do it again.

I hope the Bump has a fabulous birthday party.


Melissa September 26, 2011 at 5:34 am

oh damnit damnit damnit. wtf. that totally sucks.
you guys deserve a beak, for pete's sake.
so sorry.
lots of love to you and the kidlets. so, so sorry. i wish i'd never have to say that to you again.


Angie September 26, 2011 at 2:21 am

Dear Girl,
You and the kids will have happiness again. Just so sorry that your hurt is compounded like this. You're as strong as any child needs. Well done.
Love to you and the littlies,


Kristen September 26, 2011 at 1:13 am

I'm so sorry… So terribly sorry. You have been on my mind and in my thoughts ever since I stumbled over here a few days ago…. You don't deserve this. I wish I could say something better….


Cassondra September 26, 2011 at 12:45 am

I've been there (with my 15 year old cat that I'd had since third grade), I've tried to rationalize by telling myself that a lost pet is just an animal, but that never works. She was still family, and I'm sorry you're family feels like Swiss cheese.


Peppermint Patty September 26, 2011 at 12:08 am

I have w dogs, 1 is now 14. She is so much a part of my family. She got me through some of my darkest points and though I know 14 is old for a dog, I can't imagine our family without her. My heart goes out to you and your children. I will hope you find some relief from all your sadness soon.


Nicole September 26, 2011 at 9:17 am

Fuck it.

All there. Everything to say in just those 2 little words.

I am sorry.

But you're wrong – Scarlette was not 'JUST' a bloody dog.

She was YOUR dog, part of your family, your fur-child.

R.I.P Scarlette xx


Glowless @ Where’s My Glow September 25, 2011 at 8:47 pm

They're definitely together. Ohana.


Lisa September 25, 2011 at 8:45 pm

That's crappy Lori. Really crappy. You have been dealt more than anyone ever should be. I'm so sad for you. so very. very. sad.


Eccentricess September 25, 2011 at 8:44 pm

The love pets give you is real and so is your love for them. I send you my sympathies, having lost so many pets to the road that we finally bought in a court.

Life is not being fair. *hugs*


Geez Grandma, Get a Life… September 25, 2011 at 8:35 pm

Bloody hell Lori. I don't know what to say but I'm thinking of you. xx


Jo September 25, 2011 at 7:49 pm

(hugs) I have nothing more to offer xx


Lisa Walton September 25, 2011 at 6:45 pm

I am so, so sorry Lori! Just know that I am sending you all my prayers, peace and strength.


PinkPegasus September 25, 2011 at 6:34 pm

Dogs are family, no need to explain. Words aren't enough, but I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and your children. xxoo


georgi September 25, 2011 at 6:32 pm

i'm so sorry to hear this news lori. I don't consider myself much of a crier, but i had tears in my eyes reading this. you must have some good things coming your way from the universe very soon, just keep on holding on. you're doing great. so much love x georgi


MaidInAustralia September 25, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Never just a dog love. So sorry for your loss on top of everything else. RIP Scarlette. Hope you managed to still have some birthday joy. Fucking Universe.


Miss Pink September 25, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Pets are family too.
And you're right, this is too unfair, not just on the kids but on you too.
Life can be totally fucked up when it wants to be.


Leah – Bogue Living September 25, 2011 at 5:10 pm

I am so sorry :(


cecampbell September 26, 2011 at 2:32 am

This makes me so fucking angry for you, and your kiddos and Scarlette…it goes without saying that you don't deserve this-none of you. None of it. Damn it all.

I am so sorry, Lori. I am so sorry you have to keep being so strong. I've gone through some difficult things (i am a fellow survivor of suicide) and i know when people constantly say to me, oh you are so amazingly strong, sometimes i want to say to them, don't you fucking get it?! This isn't a choice! Rhis is what life keeps handing me and most of the time i want to throw these grief self-help books and my journal against the wall and punch my therapist in the face, but i can't. I have to keep going.

So love to you, my darling.


Denwise aka Denyse Whelan September 26, 2011 at 12:46 am

She is a member of your family who is revered & loved & is now beside Tony….. Am certain you have not "done anything to deserve this" so please take time to grieve …and rant & swear & scream….. Because you need to & you can. Love D… Xx


NestleChip September 25, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Dogs are never 'just' dogs. Ever. I'm sorry for your loss… and at such a transitional/horrible/crappy time makes it tenfold worse.

I wish there was more I could do than just a leave a comment on your blog. :/


Sam-O September 25, 2011 at 2:24 pm

That just SUCKS!


Kimberley September 25, 2011 at 2:23 pm

A dog of ours was killed by a car also. It's very upsetting. I'm sorry your family has been dealt another blow.


Mrs BC September 25, 2011 at 11:32 pm

Oh Lori,you guys have been through enough. We lost our dog a few months ago & it just sucked. My heart goes out to you & your little ones.


Stinky September 25, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Awww I'm so sorry hon. Might be 'just an animal' to some people but no, she was a part of your family too.

Thats really fucking sad


Rebecca September 25, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Loosing a pet is horrible. I am so sorry for you all after such a hard time as it is.


Jen D September 25, 2011 at 11:35 am

*big hug*


Veronica Foale September 25, 2011 at 11:12 am

Oh Lori, that's fucked up. Way more than you should have to deal with right now.



Mum on the Run September 25, 2011 at 11:10 am

That's beyond unfair.
My heart goes out to you, Lori – and I must admit my thoughts immediately went to your son.
Two huge losses for such a little heart to bear and such a little head to comprehend.
I'm beyond sorry.


Hear Mum Roar September 25, 2011 at 11:02 am

No, she's not just a dog. Dogs are people too, in my mind.

My condolences for this loss. It's so awful.

So glad you have a party to distract the kids with, if nothing else:(


Anonymous September 25, 2011 at 10:52 am

Hang in there, Lori. The universe is not against you, even though it may feel like it sometimes. You are fortunate to have so much love and support around – and ultimately to have yourself; proven resilient and grounded and capable of dealing with all sorts of shit.

And your kids are lucky to have a mum that cares so much about them.

It's not a small thing that Scarlette has died – it is another significant loss for you and your kids. I'm sorry that its happened because its going to continue to be hard to deal with. i hope for you to find a renewed strength to get through this. and reach out to your support network.


MissPosy September 25, 2011 at 10:00 am

She's not just a dog, Lori – she was part of your family. I'm so sorry for your loss, it's awful.


Sarah September 25, 2011 at 9:16 am

So sad that Scarlette is gone :( Sadder still that Chop & Bump & you have lost another very special part of your family :(

I wish the universe would just fucking stop. NOW.


alliecat September 25, 2011 at 8:54 am

I'm so sorry, that's just awful, terrible news. That poor doggy, and your darling kids. Hope the birthday party is lovely and their hearts are not too broken… even though I know they will be xxx


ninehundredandseventytwelverecipes September 25, 2011 at 8:11 am

I've spent the last 10 minutes weeping and shouting at god. He can take it. You've had enough.

I'm so very sorry for this new loss.


julesey10 September 25, 2011 at 7:55 am

Theres no such thing as just a dog. She is as much a family member as any of you and yet another great loss. You poor love. It is a huge huge grief like any other. You're an amazingly strong women/mother and you'll find a way though this but I agree….. NO MORE WORLD. Let your family have peace now. xxx


julesey10 September 25, 2011 at 7:55 am

This comment has been removed by the author.


Nicole | Designer Mamas September 25, 2011 at 7:33 am

That's such a terrible loss to your family and dogs are never just dogs. Great big hugs. x


Louisa Claire September 25, 2011 at 7:28 am

I am so very sorry Lori. x


Kelloggsville September 25, 2011 at 7:04 am

oh buggeration. It isn't fair. It isn't fair at all. Stick with it. There will be happy days again. xxxx


Amy xxoo September 25, 2011 at 6:56 am

Dogs are never " just dogs " – dogs are best friends, especially to little kids who have lost fathers ( and mummies who just need some company sometimes ).

And here i was whinging about losing $250 on my footy tipping and how the Universe never lets me catch a break… dont know whats going on but i think the Universe needs to ease up on you guys a bit!
In happier news tho – happy birthday Bump! xx


Lynda Halliger-Otvos September 25, 2011 at 5:37 am

Son of a bitch, Lori. I am so sorry that this happened and the loss will be acutely felt for some time. Know we send love and energy to help you make it thru yet another fucking experience you didn’t need in your already sad lives.


hekates September 25, 2011 at 4:57 am

My sympathies on your loss. Peace to you and your kiddos.


Anonymous September 25, 2011 at 4:13 am

This totally made me cry….life is such a bitch sometimes. I am so sorry this had to happen!!

Hugs to you and know that we all love you…..and wish you the best even if we dont comment very often.


Melody September 25, 2011 at 3:51 am


Dogs are family members too – no matter what. I am so sorry to read this post. You've been through enough.


Good Golly Miss Holly! September 25, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Oh Lori, the universe is a dirty whore x


Marianna Annadanna September 25, 2011 at 3:03 am

Sending LOVE and STRENGTH. xo


Webdance September 25, 2011 at 2:46 am

I'm so, so sorry. I don't know what else to say. She was Family, not just a dog, I understand that, that's how it is here. Hugs.


Eccles September 25, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Fuck!!! Just FUCK!!! I'm telling the gods enough, ENOUGH ALREADY!!!! (((XXX)))


Kalena September 25, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Oh,gosh that is sickening :-( Poor Scarlette, poor Lori and Chop and Bump. I am so sorry for your loss, and for that you are given yet one more hard thing to go through.


Emma. September 25, 2011 at 1:49 am

No such thing as "just a dog" – pets are family members and in your case, an especially important part. I'm so sorry you've lost Scarlette…just another bloody loss and, quite frankly, you've WELL and truly had enough. :-(




Love in the Nest September 25, 2011 at 1:33 am

Oh Lori I'm so sorry for you and your kiddies for the loss of your lovely dog :o(



Pandora September 25, 2011 at 1:25 am

I am so sorry, Lori. So, so sorry. My beautiful baby cat was also killed in a road accident (just there on Thursday, ie. 22nd September), so I share your grief and shock. I'm in pieces. Pets really do become a member of the family, and the sense of loss is horrific :(

This was the last fucking thing you needed after all you've already been through this horrible fucking year.

Again, I'm sorry. My sincere condolences to you and your kids. RIP lovely Scarlette :(

*hugs* (for what they're worth)

Pan <3 x


Trisha September 25, 2011 at 1:02 am

Oh Lori, I'm so sorry for you and your children's loss. I think anyone who has ever had a pet knows that they are part of the family.


Chantel September 25, 2011 at 12:58 am

Lori, that is totally fucked! I am so sorry for you guys, pets are family and it hurts when anything happens to them. I hope the birthday party brings some smiles and joy into a shitty weekend xx


Jennifer September 25, 2011 at 12:56 am

Oh, Lori, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's the most un-fucking-fair thing I've heard in a while. Hey universe – WTF?


Rhonda September 25, 2011 at 12:30 am

you don't have to explain…we just spent a lot of money on a dog that was hit by a car, more money than we have to be spending. but like you said, part of the family.


Ames September 25, 2011 at 7:50 am

She's not just a dog, she's a family member.
I'm so sorry for your loss and that you have to go through the 'telling' again.
Thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs and love.


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