by Lori Dwyer on December 7, 2010 · 28 comments


I have a friend named Kristin. A lot of you probably know her, and most likely you call her your friend as well.

Kristin writes at Wanderlust.


Kristin is an incredible, astonishing person.

She has been through so much in the last twelve months of her life. I won’t go into it here- it’s not my story to tell. If your read Wanderlust, you will already know what has happened. If you don’t- and you should- you can do your research there. Because Kristin, this amazing, astonishing woman, has been brave enough to speak out against what has happened. To make hers a voice, where so many woman have none. Where so many women stay silent.

Kristin writes about things, sometimes, that we don’t even want to think about.

And yet she writes in such way that you can’t help but read.


For months now, I’ve been emailing my friend Kristin. Every time I write her, I say “Are you OK?” or “How are you doing?”.

And every time, I feel the solid frustration of being so far away from someone I care about. For my words having such little effect, stones thwacking onto packed dirt instead of plopping satisfyingly into a pond of empathetic water.

Words, for pain such as this, are a thoroughly useless thing. Words on a screen. They are no balm for this kind of grief.

Have you ever watched that movie, the Princess Bride? Where every time the servant said “As you wish”, he was really saying that he would die for her, follow her, love her for all eternity?

Don’t panic, Kristin. We’re not going quite that far.

But every time I write to you, “Are you OK?” or “How are you doing?”, those cliched, useless platitudes, I mean them, in a way most people don’t mean words like those, when they slip them into small talk, weave them into the tepid conversations of everyday life.

Every time I say those things, this is what I mean- I am thinking of you, praying for you (in my own unique kind of way), sending you strength and loving, happy vibes. I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure this.

I’m amazed at what a honest, brave, compassionate, strong woman you are.

I just adore your integrity, damn it.

Not a real Aussie. Or a real beard.

I’m in awe of the way you just keep going, just keep fighting on.

Keep fighting, K. Hang on in there. We’re all behind you, pulling for you, every step of the way.

It astonishes me how someone I’ve never met, who’s voice I do not know, can be so very important to me. But Kristin is important to me. And, as I said, she’s probably very important to a lot of you out there too.

I’m so glad you’re coming to Australia, Kristin.

For lack of a more poetic phrase- I just cannot wait to meet you.

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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

kim at allconsuming December 9, 2010 at 6:04 pm

Hear hear.


Fi December 8, 2010 at 10:35 pm

Such beautiful heartfelt words.

Just goes to show that online friendships are just as real, meaningful and important as in person friendships!

Wish I could make it to the AusBlogCon to meet both of you!


Watershedd December 8, 2010 at 5:45 pm

And people reckon the blogosphere is all bitchy-ness! Lovely post, Lori. I wholeheartedly agree.


•´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Trish.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• December 8, 2010 at 3:27 pm

Beautiful post Lori.
Friends are gold.
Oh how great it is to have true friends like Kristin (or even you), to lift your game despite the 'miles' between your spirits.


toushka December 8, 2010 at 2:08 pm

nawwwww. i'm all welled up with tears now. I love both of you.


Glowless December 8, 2010 at 1:54 pm

So well said.

P.S. I can give Kristin the name of a really good waxer…


Draft Queen December 8, 2010 at 11:39 am

I'll admit, I worry about her too. But I'm SO SO glad she's getting to go to Oz (even if I'm a tad jealous). She deserves to have this lovely trip.


Katie December 8, 2010 at 9:15 am

Baaahahahahaa Glen! You have to admire that kind of honesty, ay?

Kristin is the SHIZ!
(and so are you, Lori- for writing this)


Michelle Twin Mum December 7, 2010 at 11:28 pm

ahh, just beautiful. If only I lived in Oz I could plant big smackers on you both! You will have to make do with virtual ones – mwwahhh.

Mich x


life in a pink fibro December 7, 2010 at 10:49 pm

Lovely post Lori. I've been following Kristin's story and I'm amazed at her strength as well. She deserves a visit to Australia – and a friend like you!


Brenda December 7, 2010 at 9:19 pm

What Glen said. Hehehe.

Love you, K. Love yah too


Glen December 7, 2010 at 9:13 pm

She has quite a healthy chest too – and I respect that


River December 7, 2010 at 8:37 pm

I've read Kristin's story and think she's an amazingly strong woman. I'm looking forward to meeting her next March, and you too Lori.


Maxabella December 7, 2010 at 4:17 pm

What a beautiful (and deserved) tribute, Lori. Kristin is much loved. x


edenland December 7, 2010 at 2:14 pm

Bloody awesome post, Lori.

I have only "met" Kristin recently, and found myself very quickly scrambling to offer her something as well. She is amazing.



Amy xxoo December 7, 2010 at 2:13 pm

Well said Lori.

You might think that words on a page are useless, but i think theyre some of the most powerful things in the world. And i'm sure Kristin does too…


Celeste December 7, 2010 at 2:06 pm

I just hope Kristin won't be upset that you posted her professional portrait on your blog. She's pretty protective of how that image gets used!


Danielle December 7, 2010 at 1:09 pm

thats just beautiful :-) both of you are and as soon as i get a sponsor i cant wait to meet both of you ;-)


NappyDaze December 7, 2010 at 12:51 pm

A fittingly beautiful tribute xx


Corinne – Daze of My Life December 7, 2010 at 12:43 pm

You've summed up perfectly how I feel as well. Thanks, Lori. Thanks, Kristin.


Wanderlust December 7, 2010 at 12:17 pm

Oh Lori… I read this and then had to wait a bit before I commented.

Please don't think your words are useless. They mean so, so much. You have no idea. Words are incredibly powerful, and today your words have moved me greatly. Meeting you will be such a joy. xoxo


Ms Styling You December 7, 2010 at 12:09 pm

What a lovely post … I too cannot wait to meet Kristin x


Being Me December 7, 2010 at 11:12 am

A soul who can touch so many, as she has done, even before all that awful shiz went down, is indeed a very brightly shining light. Lori, you've written it superbly… a voice I don't know, someone I've never met, and yet I find myself including her in my circle of care and wondering how she is doing and hoping she is as ok as she stoically sounds most of the time.


Bronnie and family December 7, 2010 at 11:05 am

Me neither! I've been lucky enough to be on the receiving lend of Kristin's wisdom, friendship and support this year. She is awesome and I can't wait to meet her – and you – at AusBlogCon next year. xo


Madmother December 7, 2010 at 3:59 pm

I think Kirsten needs to come to Qld. Really. Why fly to oz and miss the glorious north? Hmmm? Just sayin'…

(Oh and Lori, I wish I had a friend like you.)


Eva Gallant December 7, 2010 at 1:26 pm

I've been following Wanderlust, and praying in the background, 'cause that's how I am. Love the girl's strength.


Mrs Woog December 7, 2010 at 1:18 pm

What you all said. It is going to be such a wonderful time to cement these incredible connections us bloggers have made. And having Kristin there is the icing on the cake! xo


Toni December 7, 2010 at 11:00 am

So beautifully said, Lori. I suspect you speak those words for a lot of us. She's a truly amazing woman — and so are you.


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