My New Super Power- the Ability to Look Into Other’s Minds and See What The Hell They Were Thinking.

by Lori Dwyer on February 5, 2010 · 9 comments

Howdy doody blogoroonies,

Well, I’m always up for a challenge. And in the light of the Blog This challenge (see my groovy little button over there on the right), I’ve been giving some serious consideration to what my super power would be, should I have the power to choose (not that that ever happens- aren’t most super heroes just the result of horrible mutations caused by freak accidents?)

I’ve decided that it’s not enough to simply choose a super power- I have to have a whole super persona. And her name is Super What The Hell Were You Thinking Women, my protector and avenger, with the ability to see straight straight through other people’s stupidity and ascertain what, exactly, they were thinking when they tried to cut you off doing 110 clicks an hour on the M5.

Useless, you may say. But just imagine the possibilities. Your best mate confesses she just spent $600 on a new dress that needs dry cleaning, is the height of fashion (so she’ll only be able to wear for the next three minutes anyway), and makes her bum look big. And you don’t have to say a thing. In teleports (because let’s face it, teleportation is cool) Super What The Hell Where You Thinking Women. Grabs offending garment, flings it out the nearest window, screeches “What the hell where you thinking, woman?” and departs. You and your best mate stand looking gobsmacked at the rainbow shimmer teleport shadow she has left behind (also very cool). Your best mate says “What the hell was that?”. You reply with “I have no freaking idea, but she does have a point…”

Another scenario, if you please. Of course, this one is completely hypothetical. You’re in heavy, fast labour with your second child. Your husband has taken a whole hour and 3 minutes to get home to you (not that anyone’s counting, or waiting with baited breath, or anything like that). And then, out the way out the car, he decides that now is a good time to bring in the bins that have been sitting on the curb for the last 48 hours. You’re prone, mid contraction, and can only glare at him.

**Cue dramatic voice over** “This sounds like a job for Super What the Hell Are You Thinking Woman!!” And in she teleports, sizes up your husband, screeches “What the Hell Are You Thinking, Woman?” (great catchphrase- might need a bit of tweaking), and bitch slaps him upside the head. Great work, SWTHAYTW.

Thousands of practical applications, with minimal fuss and embarrassment cause to her alter ego. Is this where I mention I’m a non-confrontational kind of chick?