As those of you who follow me on Twitter would know, I love a good nanna nap. A few hours sleep during the day… it’s like heaven.
I’m not sure why.
I am so tired, most days. It doesn’t matter how many hours I have slept the night before. Come midday, when my daughter naps, I am so tired I can’t stop yawning, my eyes watering with tired tears each time I do.
Day sleeps are lovely. Not just the sleeping itself, but the lead up to it… my house, quiet and peaceful, being made neat and tidy by my hands. a cigarette, and then curling up in my warm bed, slatted sunlight showing through the blinds.
It’s never difficult for me to fall asleep during the day, the way it is at night. Again, I don’t know why. But my mind sings melullabies and tells me everything is just fine, and I drift off in seconds.
It’s on waking that things feel out of place. I spend the rest of the day of kilter, out of balance… feeling not quite right. I drinkless endless cups of tea, and still I feel foggy, half asleep.
It’s been so difficult to resist the pleasure of a day sleep, even when it’s tepered with feeling like one of the walking dead in the aftermath. It’s getting much, much easier though- my son has, at three and a half, just given up his own day nap, so my sleep time is limited- twice a week, when my son is in daycare.
It’s not really the sleep I’m after, I don’t think… It’s more the oblivion, the dark warmness where I don’t have to think.
Being awake… it’s just more time spent in reality. And reality is difficult.
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I have that same battle… I need a nap soooo bad, but I know I will most likely feel like I've been hit by a truck after waking again. This week I chose not to do my nanna naps and I feel super f***ed right now.
i totally get the oblivion thing. Sometimes I just want to sleep for a few years… big hugs Lori xx
I have been know to have my kindy-nap as soon as I arrive home from school drop-off (at 8.30am). That way I can pretend it's not so much a nap, as a sleep-in…
Your honesty touched me. You have been through a lot. Hugs from across the world.
I love naps, but I find that if I sleep for too long during the day I awaken in that same fog. Aimless, drifting fog. Maybe if you cut the naps in half?
Last week, I sleep almost all day everyday, and I would wake up still feeling exhausted. I don't know what it was or why.
You have two small children, so there's nothing wrong with taking the opportunity to nap when one or both children are napping.
There are days when I look at the clock and count down to a "respectable" hour for my nanna nap, rather than say "I'm not coping today, can you look after her/them?"
Thankfully, the only problem I have with napping is not being able to get to sleep at a respectable hour later. Waking up from a nap is fine though. I usually sleep 2 full REM cycles (3 hours) Maybe that's why you feel like crap? Are you waking up mid-cycle?
I wish I could nap, but with three littles ravaging the house at all times… Well, stages of life eh? I'll get there eventually.
I have the same problem when I nap, so I usually resist the temptation. Doesn't seem fair though, you so deserve a beak from reality.
I was so, SO sad when my oldest gave up his nap
I've felt like that after a nap before – it's no fun and completely defeats the purpose for me, which is usually just to refresh myself. Then again, I've also slept during the day for the same reason as you, to enter that oblivion where thinking is not required. Almost pays for the zombie-ness at that point.
Like you said, reality is difficult.
I commented only this morning to Mr Black upon waking that "It's not fair. Mornings always come so fast."
I love the oblivion, the not having to think part about sleep.
Sleep during the day makes me incredibly grumpy.
I love my nanna naps. I curl up on the couch with the sun coming in the window and drift away for about an hour, sometimes an hour and a half.
Oh God Lori.. I was going to do a blog post about this (sleeping/nanna naps and exhaustion) too…! You beat me to it.
4pm is my nanna nap time. It hits me, the exhaustion, the yawns, the quiet fuzz in my brain… I need to lay my head down. And then I sleep. And when I wake up I'm not quite there, I am still with my head on the pillow. I want to lay down again and go back there… where it was dark and restful and nothing…
ANd then of course, I am awake.. and I don't want to go to sleep – I don't want another day to have gone, to be between Then and Now.
Grief is exhausting. It sucks the life out of you. because you have to fight so hard to be with it and present in the day and with those around you. The Oblivion is such a nice place to rest.
Thinking of you often xx
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Wishing I could help Lori, holding you close from here.
Hey Lori, I know they do say there is a certain length day sleep that makes you feel refreshed and that if you go over that it has the opposite effect.
I understand the back to living in reality and that's a hard one to solve apart from finding an activity that engulfs your whole body and mind for a short time each day.
Loved the Benny Hill Music on your last Vlog and well done on sorting your server out yourself
I have 'nana naps' infrequently because of the AFTER affect…..but I realize too that like bubs have a sleep cycle (45m) so do we! So, it's about "how long" the sleep is. Sometimes I crash in my recliner chair but if it's more than 10 mins I wake up Cranky Pants. So it's either short…or at least one cycle.
May the sleep be with you tho' because it is restorative! Xx