by Lori Dwyer on June 5, 2012 · 11 comments

My iPad is my Pensieve.

That’s not a typo, nor is it Lori making words up. If you’re a Harry Potter, you’ll recognize the word as one of JK Rowling’s, and it’s another of those words I’ve been seeking for some time now.

What is it?
This? It is called a Pensieve. I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my mind.
I use the Pensieve. One simply siphons the excess thoughts from one’s mind, pours them into the basin, and examines them at one’s leisure. It becomes easier to spot patterns and links, you understand, when they are in this form.
You mean… that stuff’s your thoughts?

On days and nights (like today) when my head it too full of thoughts and words and ideas, and I feel restless and agitated and misunderstood, I turn to my iPad with its flat, on screen keyboard, and type.

Unashamedly stolen from here.

I type out the pain and frustration, the loneliness and trauma. I empty my mind onto a blank white screen, allow the thoughts to untangle themselves and rush out, bleed the poison from old wounds. I don’t get to jump in afterwards (thank goodness…), but I take so much comfort in knowing that other people become immersed in my world, see things through my eyes. Walk through old buildings with me. Sit in hospital waiting rooms with me. Be a pair of eyes on the wall as I date again. Watch me struggle with two independent, grieving children.

I take my thoughts and splash and weave them onto the screen. It’s the ultimate in therapy. Without somewhere to place the weight of all this thinking, I just may burst from the pressure of it.

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

•´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Trish.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• June 6, 2012 at 12:05 am

Thinking of you , I love the imagery.


Anonymous June 5, 2012 at 9:51 pm

My diary is my pensieve. I'm glad you have the outlet, Lori – we all need one in this difficult world.

Also? LOVE the Harry Potter reference. If you're a geek, you're the coolest one ever! :-)

Sending love,



Claire June 5, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Here. Listening. Loving the anaology.


Peaches & Maple June 6, 2012 at 7:31 am

Hi Lori
I've been reading along for a while now and you regularly just blow me away with your writing. My heart goes out to you. Love the Harry Potter reference too :)
Cas x


Spagsy June 5, 2012 at 6:40 pm

I'm so ashamed… I thought you had announced the winner of the vibrator- I too read it as penis-sieve.

I'm glad you have an outlet to get the stuff out. We are all here for support. We pray and keep you in our thoughts
Xx rah rah


Karen June 5, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Also thinking of you…carrying a bit for you…

Peace, Karen


Lynda Halliger-Otvos June 5, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Following from afar, wondering if anything ever will be tolerable again for you and the kids. Wishing I could soothe your stresses and snuggle your babies. Know that I am out here thinking of you.


Miss Pink June 5, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I keep reading it as penis-sieve. I like the sound of that!
I'm reading, always. Just….being pensive.


Anonymous June 5, 2012 at 1:17 pm

I am listening Lori, trying to carry some of your pain. xx


Sharon @ Funken Wagnel June 5, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Great invention, the pensieve


Kristen June 5, 2012 at 12:13 pm

I'm still here with you. Just letting you know. I remember those thoughts in your pensive.


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