by Lori Dwyer on August 12, 2011 · 24 comments

September 15th is RUOK Day in Australia.

It’s a very simple concept.

In the time it takes to have a cup of coffee, have a conversation that could change someone’s lives. Or, really, many people’s lives.

Ask the people you know, the people you see every day…

“Are you OK?

Is there stuff you want to talk about?

Because I am here to listen.”

It makes me happy to be helping out with this one. For obvious reasons, it’s a cause close to my heart. I’ve been chatting to the RUOK Day organisers, even doing some filming for them. Talking. That’s what I do.

If you could all reach out and follow RUOKDay on Twitter and FaceBook, that would be awesome. And the wedsite has some great information on how to start talking, and where to go from there.

And have the conversation. If you know someone who you think is not OK, ask them.

And, more importantly, if you are the person who is being asked… speak the truth.

Someone is asking because they care. Because they want to help. Because talking about a problem can half it, getting it out in the open can make it so much more manageable.

I must have asked Tony is he was OK one hundred times in the month before he died… and the answer was always yes, of course.

He didn’t want to worry me.

I wanted to be worried.

So, if someone asks you on September 15th- or any time, actually- RUOK…. answer. They are asking because they care.


For immediate help call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

Me August 15, 2011 at 9:06 pm

I just found your blog and after reading this post I've found myself thinking and thinking. And I finally decided I wanted to respond anonymously and as someone who is suffering from depression. There's a big difference between having a bad day, week, month, period and suffering from depression. Depression is a demon you fight constantly. And without having read a lot more of your blog it sounds like your husband suffered from depression. I am all for RUOK today and I think for people having bad periods this is an excellent way of reaching out to them. But for someone like myself suffering from depression, someone asking me if I am OK is not going to help me enough. I do talk about my problems already with people. Usually women do and men don't. But I always feel like people don't actually hear me. They don't understand how I feel or what I am going through and while talking does help somewhat it doesn't fix it for me. Though I don't know what the answer is and I really wish I did.


Miss Cinders August 15, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Thankyou sweets for posting this, and for the button code.

I don't know if you have been following my past week or so, but atm I'm going through a moment in time I wish I could skip/fast forward with one of my teenagers. All of a sudden he is past the point of "handling it".

Being a Mum watching it happening is hard. And I am trying everything in my power not to end up being where you have been since January. I'm trying to get help for him, trying to get through this. It's frickin hard.

Sending you love & strength sweets – oodles of it xxx


macsnorky August 15, 2011 at 1:41 pm

If everyone even asks just one person if they're OK it can make a difference. This initiative is important, to show that it IS alright to ask for help, and to show that you're not coping. Everyone struggles sometimes. People need to know that's normal.

I'll be grabbing your button and blogging too.


Annabellz August 15, 2011 at 3:16 am

and sometimes we are okay with sidebar of heading toward a storm… the be honest is important. The listening is important! Yes. Amazing healing can occur. Sometimes the listener will benefit as much if not more from that. Love it! /heavy/peaceful sigh!/


E. August 14, 2011 at 10:19 am

Good on you. You and the RUOK organizers are awesome!

I think it's a great concept and I hope that it helps people.


Donna August 14, 2011 at 7:45 am

I'll be participating, its a very important cause. It strikes fear at my heart as I am sure my husband wont want to worry me as well.

And you rock for taking part in this xx


Broni August 13, 2011 at 8:51 pm

This is such a great idea. count me in too!!


Adalita August 13, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Awesome news Lori- I'm in for it!


Hear Mum Roar August 13, 2011 at 10:22 am

I think it's great they've asked you on board with this:)


In Real Life August 13, 2011 at 5:16 am

This is a wonderful idea, what a great way to open communication between friends and/or family members.


nobreadforyou August 13, 2011 at 11:11 am

the last few lines are so powerful. Thankyou.


Kerry August 13, 2011 at 12:33 am

Awesome! I'll help spread it in the U.S. too. This should be asked every day at any time.


Melody August 12, 2011 at 10:53 pm

I'm in too. I might live in the Middle East, but I am in!


Jodie Ansted August 12, 2011 at 10:41 pm

I'm in, hon. An important day, for sure.



Suz @ Segovia and The I Love You Song August 12, 2011 at 9:32 pm

I'm in xx


Kelloggsville August 12, 2011 at 9:10 pm

when people ask me if I'm ok (when I'm not) I tend to burst into tears, I would make it through the day if they didn't ask me if I was ok. I'm guessing the person that asked would regret it LOL, but it does help so much when you know that someone noticed and cares X respect to you for being part of it X


Melissa August 12, 2011 at 9:07 pm

Hey Lori – you are really awesome. I am amazed that you can look beyond your own grief and your own loss to try and help the lives of other people. Inspiring.
I'll be rocking RUOK day here in the US, for sure.
And I wish I was close enough to ask YOU – are you okay? I hope you are, and I hope you're managing to find the support you need.


Yeran August 12, 2011 at 8:58 pm

It is a great concept… but really it should be RUOK day EVERY day.


A Daft Scots Lass August 12, 2011 at 8:51 pm

Brilliant concept…


Naomi August 12, 2011 at 8:26 pm

It's a great idea. I love it.


scone August 12, 2011 at 8:21 pm

Tbh, sometimes I just don't know… Thanks for askin' ;)


phonakins August 12, 2011 at 8:20 pm

We all have our game faces.

I'm going to do this this year.


Squiggly Rainbow August 12, 2011 at 8:17 pm

Lori, thanks for sharing that – I have never heard of it – I think I needed too!

Rach xx


Mrs Woog August 12, 2011 at 10:03 pm

So in…. Love you xx


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