If you went to high school in a small enough town, and you stay there- or return to there- until your children are old enough to attend school themselves, it’s logical that some of your children’s classmates might just be the offspring of the same people you yourself went to school with.
Having not particularly enjoyed going to high school in this area, that wasn’t a very comforting thought. But, hey, we’re all thirty years old now, right? We’ve all grown up a bit. Or so you’d hope.
Over the course of the last six months worth of the dreaded school pick up, I recognised one of the mums who was milling around the school courtyard, waiting too. Her daughter was in the same class as my son. I know I went to highschool with her. But that’s about as specific as my memory gets. I can’t remember her name, or any particular interaction with her. I do remember that we didn’t get along. There’s been too much life happen in between then and now… the memories weren’t important enough to keep.
Obviously I made a bigger impression on her than she did on me. She remembered me well enough to pass on to her daughter that she knew me, that we’d been to school together. That she didn’t like me.
And, kids being kids, her daughter passed that information on.
I was a bit dumbstruck when the Chop told me, “So and so’s mum went to school with you and she doesn’t like you!” He said it nonchalantly, a point in his rambling list of Things That Happened That Day. I don’t know why it bothered me, because it didn’t bother him. If he’d been upset about it, I might have been, too… I wasn’t, so much. It just bugged me.
Just… for f*ck’s sake. As if there isn’t enough turmoil in the social lives of five year olds, without adding high school bitchiness into the mix. I wonder, vaguely, how much life has happened to this other mum in the years since we finished high school, for her to be able to hang onto that hate so much.
In the end, I just tell my boy that maybe that other mum “needs to grow up a bit”. I’m thinking the tumultuous kindergarten grapevine means that reply get passed on, too.
The spiteful, five-year-old part of me hopes so.
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Who arrrre these people? NEXT.
I find it to be the same problem when you move back to where you grew up and send your child to the school you went to. Bluey’s teacher this year was my sisters year six teacher. Thankfully none of the teachers I had still teach at the school. Actually not thankfully, I was a good student so I wouldn’t mind seeing any of my teachers.
One thing I am thankful for is my age meaning that there aren’t too many children of people who I shared a class or grade with. There are a lot of parents who did go to the school or even my high school but they’re all older so much so that we didn’t cross paths in that time. Bluey’s best mates mum went to both of the same schools that I did but we didn’t know each other. It’s kind of nice that we can share this experience together without preconceptions.
There are two kids in Bluey’s class who’s mothers I do know but I don’t say anything to their children (or Bluey) about it. We weren’t really friends, and I don’t think too much of them now, but why tell children that? I am just judging from afar, and that is my issue. They could both be wonderful women now for all I know, I just don’t really care to find out.
If I had had a message like that passed on to me, especially in that way I’d be mad. Some people just never leave high school. Just smile to yourself at how much you have changed and grown.
Miss Pink recently posted…Friend For Life?
Oh wow Pink. I had enough trouble in high school when my maths teacher was then my brother’s maths teacher… I can only imagine how it would go down if she were teaching my kids.
And yep, some people never leave high school Sad but true.
Lori Dwyer recently posted…This Is Not An Art Blog.
I TOTALLY understand why this bothers you. It would bug the hell out of me, too. The black mark is on her, though. Who still holds HS grudges in their 30′s? Even worse, who takes it to the next level by trying to pass them along to the next generation? Be proud you didn’t remember her name or whatever stood between you back then.
Back in college my roommate had a friend who was roommates with a “popular girl” I went to HS with. I was not even close to popular and in my large HS those who were popular usually didn’t bother themselves with the unpopular masses. So I was floored when her roommate passed along to mine that this girl “hated” me. WTF? Part of me was bugged that she decided to hate me when I didn’t do anything to her. Part of me was glad to know that I bugged a “popular girl” because they always bugged me
Hehe. It’s kind of gratifying, knowing you still have that effect on someone, hey? In a weird kind of way :p
Lori Dwyer recently posted…This Is Not An Art Blog.
I can’t believe an adult would tell their child that. I love your response. I hope it gets back to her. Glad you’re moving. You don’t need that.
Thanks Chris. It made me kind of glad I was moving, too.
Lori Dwyer recently posted…This Is Not An Art Blog.
You are the Baawwsss of her!!! And that was the perfect response you gave to your son.
*Total* boss :p xx
Lori Dwyer recently posted…This Is Not An Art Blog.
Totally understand! I didnt enjoy high school either because of those bitches (the one at chops school is probably one of them). Half their problem is that they’ve never left and grown up so are stuck with small town mentality. When I moved back it was awful seeing them in the street and being ignored. You are better than them, you’ve grown up where they haven’t. . And As scary as your pending move is and how much you will miss your family you will feel better after the move and will make new friends. Throw yourself in to activities like playgroup or volunteering it will make things easier
I have more real friends now than I’ve ever had in my whole life. Good luck with the move and cant wait to read all about your new adventures xoxo
“…the one at chops school is probably one of them”
Thanks Tam xx
Quite possibly
Lori Dwyer recently posted…This Is Not An Art Blog.
What a strange person x
Indeed.
Lori Dwyer recently posted…This Is Not An Art Blog.
What a snooty biatch! Oh well, imagine how toxic her insides must be holding onto all that negativity for so many years! She may just be jelly of your awesomeness!! xox
Kim Bayne recently posted…Sometimes you just need to remind yourself that you are awesome
Totally jelly :p
Lori Dwyer recently posted…This Is Not An Art Blog.
Great response. Her decision to tell her child that she didn’t like you is so high school. Grow up indeed.
Bec @ The Plumbette recently posted…Wordless Wednesday – More Ekkaciting Photos
Thanks Bec x
Lori Dwyer recently posted…This Is Not An Art Blog.