The Anti-Fashionista

by Lori Dwyer on January 6, 2011 · 29 comments

Language warning- severe overuse of the word “fashion”.

S’up comrades,

In one of the not-so-cool facts about my otherwise pretty-awesome-in-general- life, I suck at fashion.

Surprised? Not… really? One can’t blame you. We’ve all seen me vlog in my very daggy grey cardi.

I am, most definitively, a jeans and tee shirt kinda chick. I wear jeans. And a t-shirt. When it’s cold, the t-shirt is long sleeved, and I add a daggy grey cardigan of some description. When it’s hot, the jeans become shorts, and the tee shirt is more of the ‘singlet top’ variety.

For the most part, I’m OK with being an anti-fashionista. It’s not that I don’t like fashion. I do. It’s not that I don’t like shoes. I really, really do. (Remind me to over-share about my massive, mostly unworn shoe collection another day, OK? OK.)

It’s just that I cannot pull this fashion stuff off. If I tried to wear this…

 I stole this pic from here. Ner.

…to the movies (I actually saw someone wearing something very similar to this to the movies a couple of weeks ago. On a Sunday. A Sunday. A Sunday in the Purple House doesn’t even qualify for jeans. I was wearing my yummy mummy tailored tracksuit pants), I would be carrying those bloody shoes, my hair would have fuzzed in the air con and I would have choptop ice cream drops down both my cleavage and my decolletage. (I think they may actually be the same thing. Or, possibly, that decolletage is not actually the word I’m after and doesn’t belong in this context at all. Whatever.)

I’m also a massive tight arse. I refuse to pay more than $20 for a shirt, $30 for a cardigan, $50 for a pair of jeans, and $100 $70 $50 $30 for a pair of shoes. Which means that even when I do find a fashion that tickles my Prada, my tight-arsedness will not actually allow me to purchase it. The Man is an even bigger tight arse than I. (And proud of it). And it seems to be a muchly contagious condition.

Anywhatsits. While I am a jeans and tee shirt, or jeans and shirt and cardi, or shorts and a singlet top kinda chick, and a tight arse, I am continually in awe of these awesome women who can actually buy fashion, wear it with other fashion, and look hot. Look comfortable. Look like they just stepped out of a magazine, and they wear this stuff all the time. Because they do. They never look uncomfortable.,and like they feel like everyone’s staring at them and maybe their undies are showing and why didn’t I just wear jeans and I want to go home.

*Ahem* Sorry. My issues.

Whatever. Fashion women. Cool women. Women like Viv from Ish and Chi and Bec from Girls Gone Child. Who not only wear fashion, but blog it. And make most of the rest of us go “*Sigh*. In my next life, I will be someone who can wear cool clothes and not feel like a d*ck.”

And then there’s… well.. me. Who can’t wear cool clothes, and always feels like a d*ck when she tries to wear cool clothes. The anti fashionista mum. With my anti-fashionista, dressed-in-Best-and-Less kids.

So…. as a tribute, of sorts, to the anti-fashionista mums, the ‘wish-we-were’ mums, the ‘I shop at Targay‘ mums; here is the Anti-Fashionista Fashion Spread. In the..erm.. fashion.. of Ish and Chi and Girls Gone Child.

Lori, wearing…
Daggy grey cardi that I’ve had for years.
Maternity top over long sleeve shirt (I’m not pregnant, it’s comfortable.)
Trackie pants- $6.95 from small cheap shop.
Boots- Purchased three years ago from K-Mart. Notice how the sole has separated from the boot. Classy.
 Kidlets (and don’t they look impressed!), wearing…
 Chop: Illegal rip off Spiderman shirt from aforementioned cheap shop.
$4 trackie pants from Big W.
Shoes, $10 special from Rivers.

Bump: Hand-me-down red shirt. Liberally stained with milk arrowroot biscuit.
Mismatched socks.
Hand-me-down Pumpkin Patch jeans (score!).
The same dummy she’s had since she was three weeks old (baaaad mummy).
And a frown.

 Yuhuh. It ain’t fashion, but it’s what we wear.

Fashionista mums, we salute you.

And the anti-fashionista mums- we salute you, too.

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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

Kirsty Ward June 7, 2012 at 3:46 pm

LOL Right there with you in the anti-fashion line at the cheap asian shop :P


Alison Triffett – Style Counsel January 9, 2011 at 12:19 pm

At the risk of gettin' my bony ass kicked chiming in here, I thought I'd throw my two bob's worth anyway! In my work as a Personal Stylist I meet many a beautiful anti-fashionista – and I love 'em all no matter what they want to wear! As long as YOU feel GOOD, and the messages you send to those you care about are in sync with who you are on the inside, then who really gives a diddly what the brand is, or how much it costs?

Clients often try to impress me when showing me their wardrobe, saying "Oh this is my divine *insert said designer label here*. My answer is generally, chop off the label and then tell me if you still love it as much? No one else (I hope?) pulls at your collar to read where your top came from. Does is look/feel good on you? Or did you have to take out a second mortgage just to impress your friends with stories about where you bought what etc?

Labels schmabels. You can look just as good dressed in Vintage (read pre-loved) or High-street (read not exclusive couture/boutiques).

I love your attitude Lori – I love your honesty – I love your blog – and I love the comments from all the other anti-fashionistas too! Think STYLE not fashion girls! Think how you make others feel in your presence – THAT's true style, and Lori you have it coming out your ears!!

Big Al x


Kel January 8, 2011 at 1:00 am

Have you been in my wardrobe again?


x0xJ January 7, 2011 at 9:55 am

I'm an inbetweener. I very much want to stick with comfy, practical (because it is!) and cheap as chips, but lately as the baby has continued to grow i've realised i need to put a little more effort in, not just for a public service, but for me, so i walk out of the house and feel a bit better about myself.
That being said, i am still very much a bargain hunter! Some things are just ridiculously priced!
My kids? I've always tried to keep them funky, not in a "they're in the latest fashion" sense, but just so they look nice. When we're at home? Clothing is very much optional and uhh they don't get dressed very often (which cuts down on my laundry too, so double yay?).
But yeah like you said, i mostly feel like a dick when i leave the house in what i class "dressed up" and heels? Hell no. My partner keeps nagging me to wear them, but honestly? I'd like to keep my ankles unbroken kthanx


River January 6, 2011 at 9:37 pm

Fashion? Pfft!!

Comfort RULES!!


Becky January 6, 2011 at 9:00 pm

I also an anti-fashionista and until recently I haven't much cared, but this year I hope to TRY.. it might be a disaster but I want to feel like a woman. Occassionally ;)


Ms Styling You January 6, 2011 at 6:38 pm

You'd be amazed what I can do with a t-shirt and a pair of jeans to make it feel like an outfit. Most of my clients are mums with little time. They want to look and feel great but with the essential comfort factor.


Being Me January 6, 2011 at 5:42 pm

Oh my god, Lori, I didn't think it was possible to think you were any cuter. This is me! You have just described me to a T. Shirt.


nadinewrites108 January 6, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Ah, Lori, you make me smile.
I have one fashion statement that comes in many shapes, shades and patterns. It is the only fashion statement I make every day without fail.

The Stain.

I wear it well, I wear it everywhere, indeed I do not own a single item of clothing without it. My favourite is the leaking boob milk stain – adds real class to any outfit and a conversation starter to any occasion. What more does a girl need, I ask you?

God bless motherhood and the accessories attached.


Donna January 6, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Well said! For so long I worked in the same building as a major magazine co and the halls were dotted with stiletto wearing, sequinned stunners who all literally looked like they stole their outfit right out from the pages they print – made my "cheap and cheerful" attire slightly dowdy in such sophisticated company… PS Also have vendetta now against makeup – minimal is all I can manage!


Katie January 6, 2011 at 2:31 pm

I may or may not have been wearing sweat pants and crocs whilst reading this.

We are kin, I tell you.


In Real Life January 6, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Oh my gosh, we must be twins! I wear my jeans and t-shirt uniform All The Time! I love, love, love jeans! (I even got married in my jeans!)


Thea January 6, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Anti-fashionista mum here, too…wishing I was a fashionista mum, too!
That's why I play the Polly Dolly Challenge! LOL


Amy January 6, 2011 at 11:10 am

LOL, I love this. I'm the same, I just don't 'get' fashion. Every now and then someone helps me buy an outfit that looks somewhat good and that I love, and then I wear it to death until I hate it and revert back to jeans and a t-shirt. My goal this year is to learn makeup….maybe next year I'll start on something other than jeans!


Jo-anne “Blossy” January 6, 2011 at 10:37 am

There is nothing wrong with wearing clothes that you feel comfortable in. I love my tracky dacks & t's. I also have a fave maternity top that I still wear although it has seen better days.
Dags rock!


MultipleMum January 6, 2011 at 9:27 am

Oh my Lori! You gotta at least give up the maternity wear. It is therapeutic I tells ya. Otherwise, dag is okay with me.


applenomore January 6, 2011 at 9:20 am

I love looking at fashion and reading fashion magazines. But wearing it? I feel like a tool.


Langdowns January 6, 2011 at 9:19 am

LOL. Yes, dag is a great word. And so Australian. You go girl. Happy Australia Month.


Amy xxoo January 6, 2011 at 8:55 am

You crack me up Lori!
I think i'm somewhere in between – i love clothes and when i have the occasion i think i can pull of a "fashion " look…however i lack both the funds and the time to do "fashion" on an everyday basis.
Day to day i'm jeans, top and Converse All Stars, but on special occasions am all for rocking pretty dresses and sexy heels!


Wanderlust January 6, 2011 at 8:37 am

OMG… we *are* sisters!


Kymmie January 6, 2011 at 8:35 am

As usual, I'm having a giggle. And I'll be thinking about you on Sunday at my Fancy Pants day (and hoping you'll link up). You still look gorgeous, and I'm loving your uggs. I have a pair that have the same classy separated from the sole look. xx


Clarinda January 6, 2011 at 8:16 am

A girl after my own heart!!!

I am also a non-shoe wearer (where possible), much to my sister and husbands disgust.


thepixiechick January 6, 2011 at 8:09 am

This is me exactly Lori…. I went out and tried to buy nice clothes the other day and failed dismally! Ended up buying something that looked exactly like what I walked in wearing, only with the seams intact. Contemplated leaving my own pants in the store and walking out in the new pair… no one would have noticed.


Lucy January 6, 2011 at 7:48 am

As a chick that wore washed out black for her entire adult life 'till just recently, I hear ya…..I used to think it was becasue black made me look slimmer. Now I realise it is becasue I am just not interested….(although, I am stepping out in a frock, of all things, today!)


Very Bored in Catalunya January 6, 2011 at 7:21 am

Your look is very like mine, although I do think my soles are still attached to all of my shoes – I'll check.

That chick in the skirt looks like those dolls your granny had on top of her bogroll. Well not your granny, actually not even mine, but you know… (actually maybe you don't, maybe you don't have those things in Oz?).


Tat January 6, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Occasionally I care what I wear, but most of the time it doesn't even cross my mind to put some thought into it. No time for that. Just grab whatever and I'm ready to go.


Mrs Woog January 6, 2011 at 10:56 am

there is a difference between style and fashion…. so I am told.


MMBB January 6, 2011 at 8:23 am

Lori you dag lol


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