The ever After vlog.

by Lori Dwyer on February 2, 2011 · 145 comments

The first of the ever After vlogs. Enjoy. Or not. Or whatever. Nothing triggering, I promise. Unless you’re afraid of piercings.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7voqra9DXKk?hl=en]

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{ 145 comments… read them below or add one }

Victoria Masterman February 8, 2011 at 9:55 am: Oh wow hun, thankyou so much for coming to life on my screen, I have been waiting a couple of days to watch your vlog, a time when I didn't have a toddler wanting something or a meal to be cooked or work calling me. You hvae brough the hugest smile to my face, you are an amazing inspirational mother, just so beautiful, and amongst all thea ngst and heartache, that beautiful woman is still shining through.
You honesty and openess is so special and you have touched the lives of many, thankyou xxoo

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Tai Tai February 7, 2011 at 7:42 pm: Wow – it's so nice to see you in real life! I've never seen a vlog before (I'm still a blogging virgin!) and absolutely loved it. It's incredible after reading your blog to actually see all that you are come to life in you, the way you speak, crack jokes, smile, frown etc. You are one inspirational woman. You've certainly left your mark on me xx ps. You are so beautiful x

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Taurean (from BB) February 7, 2011 at 1:26 am: So lovely to see you! You look amazing. YOU are amazing. Your blog is incredible, so heartbreaking but so honest. You are such an inspiration.

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Fawn February 6, 2011 at 8:53 pm: Lori your amazing! I have been reading your blog for awhile and haven't commented before but I just wanted to leave some love and let you know I have been thinking and praying for you and your beautiful kids. xx
Ps. Love the piercing! I have always wanted to get a dermal!

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Veggie Mama February 6, 2011 at 4:42 pm: You are the cutest thing ever x

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marketingtomilk February 5, 2011 at 2:21 am: Oh darling, just so good to see you. Keep stepping.

M2Mx

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Marla February 4, 2011 at 4:59 pm: Continuing to pray for you, Lori….

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Trish February 4, 2011 at 2:28 pm: Lori,

Thank you so much for sharing your life with us. I just want to reach through the screen and give you a massive hug! I know there is nothing I can do or say to take away the pain in your heart, or the hurt in your eyes. But please know we are all here for you.

You are looking amazing (as always) and I too love that new piercing! Way cool babe xxxx

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Joni Llanora February 4, 2011 at 1:53 pm: Keep strong Lori You're always in my prayers.

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Shelley February 5, 2011 at 12:04 am: Your Strength amazes me

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toushka February 4, 2011 at 12:28 pm: looking good Lori! I'm glad you said you had twitter on because I thought my tweetdeck was going off and I was thinking "just wait" planning on getting to my massive amount of tweet love after watching your vlog – but no – it was yours I could hear. no tweets for me. loser.

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Cat February 4, 2011 at 12:21 pm: I got nothing beyond these xxxxxxxxxxx

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Maxabella February 4, 2011 at 10:15 am: It's so lovely to see that sweet smile, but how can you not look different? x

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Anonymous February 4, 2011 at 8:41 am: Hi, I just read parts of your blog and am sitting here in tears. I can not believe what's happened to you. you are a very strong and wonderful person and mother and life will smile again at you. hugs from Antwerp, Belgium x

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L. Avery Brown February 4, 2011 at 6:48 am: We love you Lori. Your smile is beautifula nd so encouraging. And please remember that whenever you think you're alone…just look at all those site hits and you'll know an entire world is thinking about you. You're never alone.

Most cordially,
Avery Brown (the rambling southern woman way over in the good old US of A!)

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Ms FOAS @ FiringOnAllSyllables February 4, 2011 at 5:37 pm: I've been following your blog for a while now and just wanted to say how amazing I think you are. The strength you are displaying is absolutely phenomenal. I am in awe of you. Just be gentle with yourself as you take time to heal and we are all thinking of you heaps. x

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Melissa February 4, 2011 at 1:09 am: you are an amzingly strong and beautiful woman. I hope you find a moment of peace and comfort today. my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. hang in there.

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Jeanette February 4, 2011 at 10:48 am: you are looking wonderful on the outside Lori! keep smiling, it's beautiful. Take care of you & the kiddoes! Blessings to you….xxoo from a momma in cold, cold Michigan!

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Kelloggsville February 3, 2011 at 10:24 pm: Anonymous(Fine) said everything that I would have liked to express myself. I haven't said stuff for fear of getting it wrong and your vlog has moved me so much. If I could send every single prayer and piece of love inside of me to you I would and I do. xxx

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Tenille @ Help!Mum February 3, 2011 at 9:19 pm: *hugs*

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nikkishell February 3, 2011 at 8:51 pm: I found your blog after and unfortunately not before. You are an incredibly strong woman!

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tinkster February 3, 2011 at 8:33 pm: You rock!

Being a mum sucks sometimes, you can't crawl into the darkness and stay there, and your kids, even with this loss, will grow up knowing their mother is one kick arse woman, and that their father loved them, even tho he had to leave

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Glowless @ Where’s My Glow February 3, 2011 at 8:30 pm: Lovely to "see" you here again, Lori. I have the urge to say "(Dermal) Anchors Away!" every time I see dermal anchors Just thought I'd share that useless piece of information with you. Gx

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Jess February 3, 2011 at 7:50 pm: Ok so I just started reading a while ago because of Jenny and it was obvious that you're an amazing woman on the inside but…wow… You are so gorgeous. Thank you for your strength and thank you for showing when you're not so strong. You're real and it's so inspiring. Still praying for you and your family.

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nadinewrites108 February 3, 2011 at 7:44 pm: You are a very, very brave and beautiful woman.

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Lisa Walton February 3, 2011 at 6:52 pm: Lori, it was so wonderful to see you! Just keep going – second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Love and strength to you.

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Jennifer February 3, 2011 at 6:28 pm: One moment, one hour, one day at a time. A big hug to you and your kids – glad to hear that you have changed around the house – hope it is cleansing for you.

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Deb February 3, 2011 at 5:42 pm: Hi sweetheart,
I have been reading but not commenting, I don't now what to say. Just sending my hugs.

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Anonymous February 3, 2011 at 5:23 pm: I have never seen one of your vlogs, so I haven't seen you in person. What a beautiful smile & what a beautiful light in your eyes. Really, I mean that. I bet you don't have any idea how you come across to people…but it's wonderful. That's why you have so manys fans/followers.

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Naomi @ Under the Yardarm February 3, 2011 at 4:39 pm: You are amazing. xxx

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Anonymous February 3, 2011 at 1:06 pm: Sitting here with tears rolling down my face. I have followed your blog since 'before' and obviously 'duuing' and I have never written anything. I guess there was nothing more I could add that everyone else hadn't already said. however, after watching your vlog I just wanted to let you know how amazing you are! Even though we don't know you, and you don't know us I worry about you, and think about you and think it is so insiprational that you are obviously thinking about all your followers and have taken the time to let us all know that you are ok. You are so strong, brave, beautiful and your children are very lucky to have such a 'with it' mother who is suffering her own pain at the moment, but takes time to share with others. Sorry this is a little muddled, I just want you to know that there are a lot of people out here supporting you and sending you love and thoughts all of the time. thank you Lori for being that totally amazing person that shows everyone else how to be dignified, graceful and thoughtful even when things are bad. I wish there were more people like you, the world would be a better place. xxx

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lori February 3, 2011 at 12:48 pm: Well damn, you look good! It's good to see you and that you're smiling despite the hell you're going through.
Changing around the house and painting, those are good ideas. It doesn't change what happened, but it can boost your spirits a little, you know? Help you see things a little different, or clearer…maybe just different.
Anyway, love, keep trying to smile. You're amazing.

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Anonymous February 3, 2011 at 12:09 pm: I just found your blog….and spent an hour reading through your posts this morning. I feel like I have been gutted-wich is not one ounce of what you are feeling. After I read everything I could , I got a call from a good friend who had to cancel lunch plans because she had to head out of town last minute-her sisters husband had just hanged himself in their home. He had been "sick" for some time and the end result is just tragic and I have no idea why i am telling you this other than wow-what the hell… and I am so sorry. But sorry is stupid -there are no words. Just ramblings….

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Miss Angela Solo February 3, 2011 at 10:52 pm: Hi Lori

I have been reading along and commented anon (didn't have an account) after a previous post you made.

The things you are saying will help many people. I know thats probably not at the forefront of your mind. But, when another person is suffering, and they are searching on the internet for something they relate to…there is so little RAW TRUTH out there about the aftermath.

I can go write about my experience, but like most out there, its about an experience in the past, one that I have learned to deconstruct and compartmentalise and then paint it with a bearable glossy finish. (even though the gloss is fucking ugly, its nothing approaching the raw version, the true experience of the feelings after loosing a loved one to suicide).

So. Just saying, your blog is devastating but a precious gift allowing many many people (including me) the chance to say 'me too' about something that is as lonely as it is horrific.

I want to thank you. I also want you to heal and thrive and keep being you <3

Peace Lori

Angela xxx

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Michelle Twin Mum February 3, 2011 at 11:15 am: ((((Lori)))) So lovely to see you again today, I just wish it was under nicer circumstances. Your strength amazes me woman.

Mich x

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alliecat February 3, 2011 at 10:05 am: So lovely to see your face and hear your voice. I think it's great your are facelifting your house and not leaving it, that seems so healthy, that you can stay but not be slapped with the colour purple (and the sight of other areas) everytime you look around.

I like the piercings, although they are not for me! I thought you were wearing a really fine necklace at first, they look great. Love to you xxx

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misssy m February 3, 2011 at 8:58 pm: Thanks for doing this Lori- we're all worried about you and it's a relief to see your face and hear you talk.

Even though I don't know you well, I am proud of you. You show character that most us can never imagine.

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Colleen February 3, 2011 at 9:50 am: OK you can add me to the above list who are sitting here in tears lol. It is great to see you looking so good. I know that is just on the outside and inside you probably aren't holding up quite so well, but that strength you show on the outside will slowly but surely work its way inside you until you are able to smile with the happy memories of "The Man" and not feel quite so emotional at the mention of him.
I just wanted to say thank you for showing to us all that you are in fact ok, and hanging in there.
Like so many have said before me, you are a beautiful person that radiates strength and positiveness. You have shared with everyone, something that is to many such a taboo subject but in doing this, you may well save lives. You are right that men bottle things up and are too "macho" to share their feelings. We all need to sometimes have our eyes opened to the devastating possibilities that doing this may lead to. Sharing your story and of course Tony's story has probably helped many people out here in the blogosphere. Stay strong Lori and know that you have many people out here thinking of you daily.
love and hugs
Colleen

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Bec @ Bad Mummy February 3, 2011 at 9:14 am: I'm very pleased to see you *love*

(also, how much do dermal peircings hurt?)

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Paul February 3, 2011 at 8:03 pm: Hey Loz, just wanted to let you know that I've been feeling for you and thinking about you all the time. Great to see your face again, although I'm not too sure about the piercings (I suppose they are silver and I'm sure that we could work them into your CS costume somehow???). You're amazingly strong and have proven yourself to be the 'Super Hero' that we knew you always were – with or without the costume! Captain Paul… Over and Out!

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Megan February 3, 2011 at 9:01 am: You're a wonderful blogger AND you're a fantastic speaker as well?? You multitalented Aussie. Much continued love, admiration, respect, concern, and adoration coming to you from the other side of the world. Thank you for continuing to share so much of what you're going through. We all know you didn't continue to blog out of some sense of activism, and at the same time you are helping so many with your words, your honesty. It's good to know that the return love is helping you in kind.

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Anonymous February 3, 2011 at 8:39 am: Just came upon your blog yesterday as I was surf-procrastinating.

I am absolutely in awe of your strength. You are one amazing woman — that is obvious as you are still here, still breathing, and you are even brave/confident enough to show your lovely face in the midst of all the crazy.

I know there is not anything that anyone could say to take this away. During my times of adversity, I do hate cliches and slogans and people telling me that "it will be all right." How the hell do they know? The one thing I hold onto to get through is "this too shall pass." Unfortunately, this is true for good times, but it is also true for bad. I don't mean to preach, but just on the off chance that the idea brings you any serenity, I thought I would share.

Regardless, my thoughts and positive ju ju vibes are being sent to you from a random 32 yr old chick from California. Take care.

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Kristina Hughes February 3, 2011 at 8:32 am: Great vlog! Lovely to see your face and hear your words. You look like you're doing a great job of keeping on keeping on! Big respect to you, Lori xxx

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flask February 3, 2011 at 7:49 am: it's good to hear your voice and i still join my voice to the ocean of those who are reading along and praying.

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lifeofadoctorswife February 3, 2011 at 7:27 am: Admiring your courage and your strength, and wishing you longer and longer periods of feeling okay.

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Anonymous February 3, 2011 at 5:24 am: Lori, you have shown so much courage and strength in sharing your thoughts and feelings to us. I truly admire you. [I am a (almost) 29 yo mother of 16 month old twins.] I was brought here via the Bloggess and now I can't stop thinking about you. You look wonderful. I'm sending you love and strength and peace from California. xoxox

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Victoria February 3, 2011 at 4:51 am: You are the embodiment of hope and faith.

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Stella February 3, 2011 at 3:58 am: Hi Lori
Lovely to see your beautiful face and hear your voice for the first time.
One step at a time!
God bless xx
PS: Can't imagine the engineering of those piercings on your chest. Ouch!

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Jen D. February 3, 2011 at 3:33 am: Thank you for sharing some face time with us! Love the piercings, and you and yours are continuously in my thoughts.

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Heather February 3, 2011 at 3:11 am: I am new to your blog, just started reading these past few weeks coming over from TheBloggess. Have commented once. I just wanted to say how absolutely beautiful you are. I am so impressed with your strength and courage. Wishing you peace as I can only imagine how hard this is for you right now.

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Glen February 3, 2011 at 2:35 am: glad you are back at home – keep going

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Sbragdon February 3, 2011 at 2:14 am: Love the new piercing… have you thought of every getting the nap of your neck pierced? i have a mate that did it and they look really cool!

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Jess February 3, 2011 at 2:03 am: New reader here (about three weeks)…even though I have not been reading long, I was happy to hear your voice! The piercings are great! Moving around the house, painting, rearranging…that all sounds like super healthy stuff to do and I commend you for it! KEEP ON!!!

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bloodsigns February 3, 2011 at 1:03 am: So lovely.

Your light shines.

XO

P

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Anonymous February 3, 2011 at 12:59 am: I love your new piercings, Lori.

Sending you lots and lots and love from over here in the States.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

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Anonymous February 3, 2011 at 12:37 am: Hi Lori,

I came here some weeks ago via The Bloggess and never dared to comment since I was afraid that I would say something inadequate or something that could be misunderstood, because 1) English is not my mother language and 2) who am I to think I could say anything that might mean something to you?!

But your Vlog today made a huge difference to me (I don't know why, but to see you say that you are thankful for the comments and emails was so different from just reading it) and so, finally, here I go:

I wanted to thank you for sharing such a personal part of your thoughts and your life with us all. I admire you for being so strong to follow YOUR way and for doing what is, right now, right for you! I don't know if I would have the strength, and so it means even more to me to see you doing what you need to do at this time in your life.

You are an amazing, wonderful person. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

Lots of love!!!

Fine

Oh, and your piercings are great!!! They look fantastic!

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♥ February 3, 2011 at 12:25 am: I wish I could roll out of bed and half an hour later look as gorgeous as you do in your vlog, Lori. I truly admire your resilience and your ability to smile and face the world despite everything you are going through.

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♥ February 3, 2011 at 12:24 am: This comment has been removed by the author.

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Anonymous February 3, 2011 at 12:13 am: A small step, yet a giant leap.You amaze me, I feel so proud of you.I know you are going to be alright.

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Acacia February 3, 2011 at 12:13 am: As always, you're in my thoughts, Lori.

Now we've got to not just see the light in your words, but again the light in your face that is still shining through it all.

Much love.

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Nic February 2, 2011 at 11:44 pm: Your Vlog was amazing.. You look beautiful.. I love your piercings.. Pain is sometimes healing in disguise..

Much love xx

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Moiaussii February 2, 2011 at 10:36 pm: Again. You are amazing. Love your strength and honesty xx

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Becky February 2, 2011 at 10:25 pm: You amaze me. Every. Single. Day. Much love xo

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Barbara February 2, 2011 at 10:22 pm: Wow. Just wow. You are amazing (and very beautiful). xxx

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WittyUsername February 2, 2011 at 10:19 pm: Thanks for this video. Not being able to check in on you any other way than the social networks has been hell. Just letting me visually lay eyes on you has made me feel a bit better at least
Rachel and I have a food package coming your way, put together by all the people we could contact from Picton High. More on that later.
I think I speak for many when I say Thank You for easing a lot of peoples minds over your condition xoxo
KT

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Anonymous February 2, 2011 at 10:16 pm: You even made my husband tear up

CK

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thepixiechick February 2, 2011 at 10:14 pm: nice to see I was not the only one blubbing watching this! Tears of relief, of pride, of love, and seriously, of awe. So good to see you.
xoxoxoxo

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Karla February 2, 2011 at 10:12 pm: Sitting here with tears. Sending much love to you xxx

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Rebecca February 2, 2011 at 9:58 pm: Second by second leads to minute to minute leads to hour by hour. You are doing fucking just so well. But my god did those peircing hurt or what?

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Jess February 2, 2011 at 9:55 pm: You are amazing Lori. So good to hear your bubs are home with you. Love the piercings. Sending you love x

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Aly @ The Mummy Hat February 2, 2011 at 9:50 pm: Love the new piercings
Love the new background to your Vlog
Can't wait to hear what colour house you'll be living in
Sending you a huge hug each night when you're sad
And I think you're amazing
xoxoxo

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jmasher February 2, 2011 at 9:50 pm: I know you don't feel it right now, but……looking good Lori, looking good!!!

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Wendy B. February 2, 2011 at 9:49 pm: Lori, it is so wonderful to see you and hear your voice! You look great. I am so happy you are at home with your children. Lots of love!

And your piercings look great too…

Love, Wendy

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x0xJ February 2, 2011 at 9:00 pm: Lori, you look FANTASTIC. Just wow. You are glowing and looking really healthy, and i would say that even if i didn't know the hell of your last month.
And BITCH! You got dermals!! I've wanted them for a couple of years but i was stupid and searched it on youtube and after watching the process i freaked myself out entirely. You MUST tell me all about it. Did it hurt like a bitch? Are you finding they catch on stuff? (OMG i soooo want them, i just don't think i can, and i totally wanted them where you have them too, did you ever catch my body mod post back in October last year?). So yes, let me pick your brain about your dermals and SOON!
<3 <3 <3

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Dons February 2, 2011 at 8:50 pm: What a beautiful gorgeous girl you are! Your piercings look very funky and well done being reunited with your babies
xx

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Kakka February 2, 2011 at 8:30 pm: What an incredibly beautiful and strong woman you are Lori. xxx

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Donna February 2, 2011 at 8:15 pm: Lori, you continue to amaze and inspire, and now to see you vlog again brings a mixture of happiness to see that smile but sadness to see the lingering pain. While it may not feel like this to you, we all need but an inch of the strength you display, then we would almost be superhuman. You rock Ms RRSAHM!

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Anonymous February 2, 2011 at 7:59 pm: *sniffle* Oh Lori, I'm so glad to see you & hear you for the first time. And I'm so sorry it's in such awful circumstances.

Love you. Yeah, it makes me sound like a freaky stalker-lady, but, just…love you. 'k?

Sophie xxx

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Anonymous February 2, 2011 at 7:58 pm: I also have never posted before…..and you are truly amazing! I will keep reading and watching to see where life takes you. All I know is it is going to be something special. Xxx

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Julia February 2, 2011 at 7:46 pm: You beautiful, beautiful woman. Words can't describe how proud I am of you, and I don't even know you! I look in each day, to check you are "okay"…. To "see" you is a wonderful thing, give yourself a pat on the back for getting through the Vlog…..Lori Lori Lori! Oy Oy Oy! xoxo

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Amy xxoo February 2, 2011 at 7:19 pm: You are seriously the most awesome superwoman in the entire known universe ( i'm not sure about the Unknown Universe – who knows what kind of superwomen are out there ? ).
And the peircings? Totally hawt!

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Being Me February 2, 2011 at 7:18 pm: Gorgeous, gorgeous girl. LOVE that you're changing your space. New colours = wonderful. Piercings = mmmmmmmmeh, I am too wimpy to do them but they look ace on you! xx

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PinkPatentMaryJanes February 2, 2011 at 6:56 pm: You are incredible. Utterly incredible. x

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A Daft Scots Lass February 2, 2011 at 6:47 pm: Love the piercings and the vlog!!! Keep on vlogging

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Ratz February 2, 2011 at 6:40 pm: Hey Lori.

You are amazing. Keep going. Love.

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Lavender Hearts February 2, 2011 at 6:34 pm: Well done you, so courageous. Sending much love.

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Felicity February 2, 2011 at 6:24 pm: You – gorgeous, brave, strong, beautiful – You.

So wonderful to see your face and hear your voice Lori – a generous and very thoughtful gesture.

Biggest of hugs,

Felicity x

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Rosie February 2, 2011 at 6:06 pm: Oh, Lori, it's so good to see you vlogging again. I'd just checked in again – just… before… to read your blog and saw your awesome piercing, and I've been following and sending love but not knowing what to say at all. Still, I don't, except you're doing *so* well and… you're awesome.

I went out and got my nose pierced after seeing you, anyway – figured that mums are allowed to do that too.

xxxxx

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MJ February 2, 2011 at 5:58 pm: Lovely to see you- you know something? So much beauty and love coming from you…you amaze me so much. You SHINE so much!
This is the stuff that matters.
You probably don't realise (or maybe you do?) how much you are giving others? When you give yourself (your real self as you do) you get it back tenfold- zillion fold.
So much love and light for you.

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iMags February 2, 2011 at 5:03 pm: I remember when I told my sister that she was so strong when she was grieving her daughter, she let me in on the secret that it was a facade.

Your facade has an absolutely beautiful smile.

*hug* Lots of love from us.

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Kristen February 3, 2011 at 3:55 am: Hi Lori, I am an new follower of your blog after following a link from TheBloggess. I just wanted to let you know that you are an amazingly strong and courageous woman. I admire your honesty and raw emotion. Thank you for blogging about your experience and not being afraid to share your thoughts to the world. I will be thinking about you and your family. BTW the piercings are beautiful.

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Sharni February 2, 2011 at 4:54 pm: Woo-hoo! Good to see you Lori! xx

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MsKymOG February 2, 2011 at 4:54 pm: God you're incredible, Lori. Your strength is such an inspiration! So glad to hear your blog will continue – know that we'll all be here to support it!

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Michelle February 2, 2011 at 4:53 pm: You look Amazing. Stay strong. Take each day as it comes one step at a time.

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Samelia’s Mum February 2, 2011 at 4:46 pm: You are strong, brave and AMAZING – a true inspiration to the rest of us.

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Sarah February 2, 2011 at 4:43 pm: Thanks for that vlog Lori, so great to see your beautiful face. You're still very much alive and kicking. And as you say, one minute at a time.

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Apfel February 2, 2011 at 4:43 pm: *teary eyed* Big hugs to you, Lori

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suburp February 2, 2011 at 4:35 pm: my internet ALWAY dies when I want to look at vlogs or other videos. not this time.
it's nice to meet you, Lori.
you are one touch chick..!
no one would want your life right now, that's for sure, but i think many of us secretly would like to have some of your attitude. i know i do.
stay in the light & take care
x

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Lucy February 2, 2011 at 4:20 pm: You're amazing…

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Stylish Mummy February 2, 2011 at 4:07 pm: Tears while watching.. you are such an amazingly strong person, hun! Bigs hugs and love xx

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Kel February 2, 2011 at 4:04 pm: Holy shit woman – do you have any idea how fabulously wonderful you are? Seriously – it's so good to see your vlog and if I ever have the courage to get a piercing I am going all out and doin' a Lori!
Massive hugs hun x

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learncreatedo February 2, 2011 at 4:02 pm: Hey Lori, sometimes you may not feel it but you are an amazingly strong woman. Thank you for sharing. My thoughts are with you all the time.
Sam xx

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Norlin February 2, 2011 at 3:58 pm: Hugs! Love that you're doing well, albeit what's happened. You're one strong chick! xx

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Jacki February 2, 2011 at 3:57 pm: It's so nice to see your face again. Thinking of you every single day.

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Brenda February 2, 2011 at 3:54 pm: You are amazing. You know that, right? Much love.xxxx

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Danielle February 2, 2011 at 3:52 pm: Lori sweetie:-),
fuck babe love those new piercing lol. HOT im trying to get the courage to get a small tattoo soon xxx i was nodding and smiling with you and a tad teary as well love ya lots xxxxxxxx

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Hear Mum Roar February 2, 2011 at 3:50 pm: Bloody hell, you've got me sniffling at the laptop, lol! But they are happy tears. Happy to see your smiling face again, as hard as things are, you're such a trooper, and I'm in awe of your strength and determination to make a go at getting back up and trying again.

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Car February 2, 2011 at 3:48 pm: Hi Lori, I am one of your new followers who folowed one of the many links to your blog, first time commenter trying to say what evetyone else has summed up in better words than I ever could. I am truly sorry that you have lost your Tony and Im sorry I never found your blog before. Ive taken the time to read back over your posts, to get to know you and The Man. Sending you a wee bit more strength, Im guessing every little teeny bit counts right now.
Take care and go easy on yourself
car xxx
PS Im intrigued with the peircings… Where does the back go so they dont fall out???

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Andi February 2, 2011 at 3:45 pm: Okay, make that "dancing" in the rain. Stupid tears. It's all their fault. LOL!

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Andi February 2, 2011 at 3:44 pm: Love ejay's quote… Perfect. You may not be laughing in the rain yet, but you're definitely trying to make a go of it. So impressed!

Many giant HUGS and wishing you much strength….

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Blocks and Knocks February 2, 2011 at 3:44 pm: Wow you are awesome AND beautiful inside and out.
Xx

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The Job Snob February 2, 2011 at 3:43 pm: Lori,

I found your blog in the After, and I wish that I had found you Before. Reading your raw words now tears at my heart- I can only imagine what its like to live it. Thank you for being brave, for sharing your grief, your tears, your anger, for stepping up and talking about something that people are so afraid to hear. You are an incredible, beautiful (it was amazing to see your smiling face, although I imagine it cost you much effort) woman-completely Loveable. Know that there are probably thousands of people reading your words and sending you love- even if they maybe don't always leave a message.

You're doing an amazing job, day by day, your way. Stay strong lady, you are loved.

XXX

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Anonymous February 2, 2011 at 3:41 pm: Seriously, I don't know how you do it, but I ADMIRE you SO much. You are so amazingly strong. I watched with tears in my eyes… Sending you love, strength and massive hugs xx

(Sorry I keep coming up as anonymous, i've left two comments now, but it doesn't seem to like my email address!) Bec.

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edenland February 2, 2011 at 3:38 pm: Crying with you too. You are beautiful, Lozeramo. Inside and out.

Wow. So glad that you did this …. I wondered if you would ever vlog again. (Or blog …. or make the bed … or clean your teeth. You know – all those pesky "living" things.)

Great to see you, love. XOXOXOX

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Leanne February 2, 2011 at 3:37 pm: I don't even know you, but I am so glad you did this. It is lovely to see your face and see that you are (on the surface) ok.

Like others I am sitting here with tears running down my face. You are awesome and so strong Lori. And by the way I love your clock!

Leanne xo

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Belinda February 2, 2011 at 3:27 pm: Lovely to see you Lori. Much love x

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DanniiBeauty February 2, 2011 at 3:26 pm: So great to see and hear you! You are a strong woman, embrace and be yourself. Can't wait to see your next vlog. xx

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Jewell February 2, 2011 at 3:22 pm: Lori…you are as beautiful of a woman on the outside as you are on the inside. I'm sitting here sniveling like a nit…how I wish I could give you a hug. I have only posted one comment prior, but I wanted to let you know that I've been hanging with you, pulling for you…please know you have a faithful reader, and that you have all of my love every day to help pull you through this. xoxo <3

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Dorothy February 2, 2011 at 3:17 pm: You are extraordinary! I'm sitting here at work with tears running down my face. It's so good to see your face and hear your voice. Thank you for doing this….

Love

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Me ‘N My Monkeys February 2, 2011 at 3:16 pm: Loving the new piercings.

That song was Beautiful whats is called?

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Anonymous February 2, 2011 at 3:15 pm: Thank you for sharing, it was good to see you looking well. Crying with you here. Still thinking of you everyday.

CheezelMonster

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Langdowns February 2, 2011 at 3:13 pm: So wonderful to see you! But more wonderful to hear you. You totally rock! And you look beautiful. Way to go Lori. Way to go …
Thanks for sharing.

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Wanderlust February 2, 2011 at 3:13 pm: So good to hear your voice and see your beautiful face, love. I'd say more but fuck…running out the door in an uncontrollable urge to get all-over body piercings. Damn you!

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MrsKellB February 2, 2011 at 3:05 pm: It was so lovely to see you Lori and I have tears welling up but it was lovely. Your piercings look fantastic and you must be looking after yourself because your skin looks amazing!

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Brenda @ Mira Narnie February 2, 2011 at 2:58 pm: wow – you look amazing and so so so brave….good on YOU!!

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In Real Life February 2, 2011 at 2:53 pm: You totally rock! *Hugs* Thinking of you!

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juststopspeaking February 2, 2011 at 2:50 pm: YOU ARE AMAZING
x

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Ebony February 2, 2011 at 2:49 pm: Lori, I admire you. You truly are amazing Xx

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Grace February 2, 2011 at 2:49 pm: Far out, Lori…You are truly one amazing, strong, kick ass chick.
The sincerity in your thanks at the end brought tears to my eyes.
Respect.

Grace xoxo

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Marlene February 2, 2011 at 2:42 pm: Oh Lori, the tears fell when I saw your beautiful face again. The prettiest smile I have ever seen. I just wish you never had to have such sadness in your eyes.
Love you lots xoxoxoxoxoxo

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Trish@Show and Tell February 2, 2011 at 2:42 pm: You are looking gorgeous and strong, Lori. So lovely to hear your voice and see your beautiful face. I wish you much love. I hope that your inner strength will come to match your outer strength sooner than you think. You are amazing.
Trish
xx

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Georgia February 2, 2011 at 2:39 pm: God bless you Lori. Keep going girl. You are truly inspirational xx

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ejay February 2, 2011 at 2:39 pm: Lori you are amazing….I just want to pick you up and hug you…

One of the bloggers I read is currently battling breast cancer, recently someone wrote this on her blog………

Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass
It's about learning to dance in the rain".

….It's stuck in my mind and when I read your blog I can't help but think that's what you are doing – learning to dance in the rain.

Hang in there Kiddo,

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blondtress February 2, 2011 at 2:35 pm: You did sooo well, great work on the vlog, keep em coming if you can! One step at a time xxoo

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Clarinda February 2, 2011 at 2:35 pm: Lovely strong vlog. From the outside you appear strong. Xx

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Marianna Annadanna February 2, 2011 at 2:35 pm: It's 10:30 pm where I am right now – and that is the perfect message to go to bed with. You're looking well. Take care!

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Ms Styling You February 2, 2011 at 2:34 pm: Oh, Lori, in tears at your gorgeous smiling face … big virtual hugs to you xx

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Zoey @ Good Goog February 2, 2011 at 2:33 pm: Great to hear your voice! And love the piercings even if I would be too chicken to do them myself.

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Voluptacon February 3, 2011 at 12:21 am: Hello you.
Good to see you.
Love the new peircings, you look like you're sprinkled with tasty cupcake goodness!
xoxo

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Good Golly Miss Holly! February 2, 2011 at 9:04 pm: You're the bomb, and now you have one up on me in the piercing stakes

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Now a Mum February 2, 2011 at 5:05 pm: one day at a time…
Nice to hear you and see you looking so well. Please continue to be yourself and share your feelings. Anyone's feelings would be raw and fragile in your circustance.Ignore the negative comments and draw strength from those around you who are supportive.
Best of best wishesxxxx

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papercouturiere February 2, 2011 at 4:34 pm: You gorgeous, strong, brave, and courageous woman you! You amaze me a little more every. single. day. …except… today. Today, you amaze me A WHOLE F'ING LOT. Keep on hangin on. 1 second at a time. We're all still here for you. Love. xx

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Tara @ Our Whirlwind Adventures February 2, 2011 at 4:12 pm: I have been reading your recent blog posts in secret, due to the fact they are so powerful and have reduced me to tears, and I like to be alone when I have a cry.
When I saw you posted a "Vlog", I hid with my laptop, and hesitated before pressing play.
I don't know why, I hesitated.
Probably fear more than anything.
I don't know what I was afraid of, but I am glad I watched it.
Thank you for blogging, and vlogging during the aftermath. It was a comfort to me, and many other readers I'm sure to know that you look much the same, if not a bit more tired [and newly pierced] than you looked before. You haven't lost weight, and you are still as gorgeous as ever.
Thank you for your blogs, Lori.
I have not considered suicide, but someone who has, and has even attempted it [in front of me] inhabits my house.
Suicide [or even attempting suicide] is ugly, it is scary, and it should not be ignored.
Your posts are an eye opener, they are honest, they are not sugar coating suicide and they are certainly NOT making anyone consider suicide, or attempt it if they hadn't before, they are raw, and they are beautiful. Keep writing. I look forward to seeing which direction RRSAHM is heading xo

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myshoeboxlife.com February 2, 2011 at 2:53 pm: So brave, so strong. Much love. xx
PS The piercings look great! I hope the new look house is giving you good feelings. xox

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Toni February 2, 2011 at 2:45 pm: I too watched with tears running down my face. Much love to you, chick. Much.

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