The Muse Wars- Writing Challenge Three

by Lori Dwyer on March 11, 2010 · 7 comments

Welcome back readle deedles,

Writing challenge number three in the Muse Wars. This time it’s been set by the Menopausal Mumma, and it’s scenery rather than people. And as usual, I had to twist it just a little left of centre.

Just to interrupt myself before I begin, it is FlogYoBlog Friday, bought to you by our homegirl Brenda. I’ve got a pretty shiny new McLinky on the bottom of this post. Feel free to add your blog, and we can all ride aorund on the coat tails on MummyTime’s 600 million Followers. Woot!! If you did happen to alight here off the blog hop, and short stories aren’t your thing, please have a scroll around. There are dead fairies, hot piercers and toys doing sordid things in very bad taste. You’ll love it.

And now on with the show…

The Something

At the age of six, Hannah knew a good deal about a lot of things. One of the things she knew for sure was that sometimes, adults lied. She knew her father lied when he said he was going to church at night, because her mum got all cranky. She knew her mother lied about Santa Claus, because Santa used the same wrapping paper that mum bought at the grocery store just the week before Christmas.

So, sometimes, adults lied. But this time, the adults really weren’t lieing, and that was what worried Hannah the most.

She had tried to tell them, many times, about the Something that was hiding in the field. When they refused to listen, refused to believe, and eventually began to get angry and told her to Leave Them Alone, she enlisted the help of her sister Kate, two years older than Hannah and therefore infinitely more believable. But the adults weren’t lieing. They really had no idea.

Kate knew about the Something in the field. She had seen it too. Just a flash of it, every now and then. A sparkly something, pushing out from the top of the long grass. It bought with it the smell of chocolate and sugar cooking, floating on the wind to tantalize small noses and unsettle young desires. The Something in the field sang to them, calling them, daring them to enter and see what lay beyond.

The Something felt bad, and the two young girls had used all their willpower to resist it, to ignore it’s song. They discussed it between themselves, at night, deep under the covers, when the lights went out, and decided the only course of action was to ignore the Something in the field, and stay as far away as they could.

But that wasn’t always possible.

One sunny autumn day, Hannah and Kate were sent out to play, in the yard that backed onto the field. Kate wasn’t quite sure how it happened. One moment Hannah was there, right next to her… the next she was drifting toward the long grass, where the peak of the sparkly Something could just be seen. Kate called out her sister’s name, over and over, but Hannah didn’t seem to hear…

The whole town looked for Hannah. For a week, they scoured every inch of every paddock, evry trail, every stream.

It took Kate two full days to tell them that Hannah had disappeared into the field. No one listened, no one believed. Why would they? The field had been searched, there was no sign of Hannah there.

Kate never mentioned the Something.

Not then, and certainly not later. Not to her husband, and never a word to her little girl. It never occurred to Kate, after so many years, to whisper a warning to her daughter, visiting the house of her grandparents for the very first time, a place Kate herself had moved far, far away from just as soon as she was able.

Kate’s daughter was five, and a headstrong, curious child.

The Something found she was not nearly as difficult to lure into the field as her Aunt Hannah had been.

MckLinky Blog Hop

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Kakka March 14, 2010 at 8:55 pm

WOW loved it, what a great challenge this is turning out to be. Lori – you get to choose the next photo for Challenge 4 – looking forward to it.


Madmother March 13, 2010 at 11:29 am


Love this (appeals to my jaded, twisted mind).


frog ponds rock… March 12, 2010 at 5:51 pm

I did skip the short story but only because I am a tad stressed and can't concentrate right now. But I will be back and the hello readle deedles made me laugh out loud.


gem88 March 12, 2010 at 5:17 pm

EXCELLENT story had me sittin on the edge of my seat.. i want more :D


Lori March 12, 2010 at 2:57 pm

Thanks jen and brenda. Jen, I won't hold the comment thing against, I'll even go and re-comment for you :)

To flog yo blog, just click on the link straight under the white box, enter your details, and ta-da! you show up on everyone's list! Just click on a few other blogs and follow them, and go to Brenda's link @ number 1 to grab the button for your page, if you want it. Too easy!


Jen March 12, 2010 at 2:38 pm

Wow! Great story, it's totally captivated me and i've now read it a few times! Well done :) . I think I'm a bit dense (or it's hard to work out while viewing on the iPhone) but how does flogyoblog work? I have to say sorry too Lori, I have accidently just deleted a comment you sent through on my blog :( stupid big fingers and little typewriter thingy on the iPhone :( .


Brenda March 12, 2010 at 1:47 pm

Wow! Love the story, Lori!

And hey, thanks for the linky loves. Mwahs.


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