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Just Me, and my tattoo. – RRSAHM

Just Me, and my tattoo.

by Lori Dwyer on July 4, 2010 · 26 comments

Hey there blog-a-deedles,

It’s time for Sunday, Just Me again. Missed it last week…? It’s a fun, easy way to meme. Just post a piccie of you, or something that represents you, taken in the last week (or thereabouts).


 
This week, I’m showing off my tattoo. It’s damn cute, even if I do say so myself. Which I do.

Yuh, that is Jiminy Cricket, from the Disney Pinocchio movie. He’s a little conscious on my shoulder. He’s a little faded and fallen out, and is often mistaken for a bug or a butterfly.

Oh, and do forgive the crap-tastic-ness of the photos. We can hold the Man responsible, yes? Yes.

Jiminy’s had my back for almost 10 years now- I got him etched there when I was 19 years old. It hurt. Muchly. A tattoo feels like one long, vibrating cat scratch. I’ll let you in on an embarrassing secret- the tattooist had to stop halfway through this tattoo, after I went into shock, blacked out for a moment, then threw up. Poor bloke. We both needed a cigarette before he started up the gun again.

Why Jiminy? Actually, totally by chance. I was downloading pictures of Betty Boop off the ‘Net (way back in the day. I was using AOL) looking for one to use as a tattoo- I love Betty Boop. I downloaded Jiminy by mistake and he just.. spoke to me. In the way cartoons do.

Being the sadist I am, I’m planning to go back for more ink, to represent my kids-a four leaf clover for the Chop, and a daisy for the Bump. I was booked in to get a shooting star tattooed on my arm three years ago. Four days before my appointment, I discovered I was pregnant. And I’ve been gestating or lactating ever since. As soon as my body is all mine again, a new tattoo is one of the first things I’m gonna do.

And, hey, after two childbirths, my pain threshold has got to be higher than it was when I was nineteen.. right?

What about you? Got ink…?

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{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

Name February 23, 2013 at 10:31 am

Horrible tattoo. I hope they paid u for that!

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tattoos designs November 29, 2012 at 6:01 am

you tattoo is adorable , i got some tattoos designs of burger on my stomach .

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M. Drew Emmick July 12, 2010 at 7:44 am

Your tattoo is cute. I went "Awwww" when I saw it even! I have the words "Enrique" tramp stamped on my lower back…wouldn't that suck if I did?

I really am tattooed, but nothing to write home about. I have sun, moon and star tattoos on my left arm. Not nearly as cute as Jiminy.

Recently, I've been getting the urge to add to the collection. I should consult with you before deciding what it is.

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lori July 7, 2010 at 1:58 pm

Love the Jiminy, and the concept of it too. The only tatts I have are my eyelids which the overly-exuberant nail shop owner (who served wine) which I regularly frequented back when we had the money talked me into. (I didn't frequent the owner, just the nail shop) I was naive and didn't know that "permanent makeup" and "tattoo" were both applied in the same way.

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Nerdycomputergirl July 6, 2010 at 11:58 am

Cute tatt! I've never wanted one myself, in fact I'm surprised I've even got my ears pierced twice I'm so conservative.

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Sarah July 5, 2010 at 8:14 pm

Oh that is so cool! I think he needs a touch up & he'll be awesome again :)

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Katt July 6, 2010 at 1:57 am

I am inkless. Ink free. Minus ink. I couldn't do the needles. Cute cricket!

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In Real Life July 5, 2010 at 10:36 am

I luv it – Jiminy Cricket is a such a cool idea for a tattoo!

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Thea July 5, 2010 at 10:24 am

That is a very cute little tatt! :)

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Draft Queen July 5, 2010 at 6:57 am

I have one very small pale green star. On my upper, inner right thigh. There are about 3 ppl who have ever seen it.

I want one on my foot though, for my best friend. I just haven't decided what it should be.

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Amy xxoo July 4, 2010 at 3:16 pm

I have four tatts – one on each shoulder blade, one on my upper left arm and one on my lower back ( tramp stamp! ).
But i gotta say, none of mine hurt. Uncomfortable, yes, but hurt ? No. Man up Lori!

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Kim July 4, 2010 at 3:15 pm

I've been getting inked since I was 17 and have no intention of ever stopping! Sorry, mum! :)

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Brenda July 4, 2010 at 2:25 pm

Nope, no ink here either. But Jiminy is way cool!

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Taryn Rucci July 4, 2010 at 11:30 am

I don't have any tatts but I do have a shit load of stretchmarks and I ain't sharing those! te he. Noice tatt lovely xx

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Mrs Woog July 4, 2010 at 11:15 am

I can share an ingrown pubic hair… if you want?

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Dazee Dreamer July 4, 2010 at 10:39 am

I didn't get my first tat till I was 51, and loved it. And they told me that woman that have had children do a lot better with the pain than any man that gets them.

You should have them "freshen up" Jiminy. He would probably thank you :)

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Maxabella July 4, 2010 at 9:57 am

No ink here, but I love your Jiminy and totally get why people get tatts. Your blacking out and throwing up story would most definitely be me!!!!

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Megan July 4, 2010 at 9:56 am

Yep, I have a tattoo on my ankle, but I'm in the midst of having it removed via laser treatment. It was a last minute decision when I was 18 and I've hated it ever since!

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Katie July 4, 2010 at 9:50 am

Eek!! Needlephobe!!! I like yours though.

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Amy July 4, 2010 at 8:47 am

So Brave! I want to black out and vomit just thinking about getting a tattoo- so I'm guessing its' not for me? :P

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Jen July 4, 2010 at 8:36 am

Super cute, Lori. I've been planning to blog about my ink for some time now – this has inspired me to do it sooner rather than later. I've got four pieces now (but I've got rid of all the piercings bar one in each ear): back of my right wrist, left side of my back (ow), side of my foot (Ow!), and right ribcage (OWWWW!!!). I love them. I want more (and more and more) but I am limiting myself to one every two years, and even then only if I've wanted the same design in the same place for six months. I love my ink.

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Wanderlust July 4, 2010 at 8:36 am

Love it! No ink on this bod. Just paint.

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Motorbikes_Lady July 4, 2010 at 8:11 am

Love your tat :-)

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Motorbikes_Lady July 4, 2010 at 8:09 am

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MMBB July 4, 2010 at 11:17 am

Jiminy is cool as, you should get it touched up so he's all fresh again.

I have a tramp stamp, it's a rose in the middle with some generic tribal bits either side. When I was 18 EVERYONE got a tramp stamp. But now that they're labeled trampy I want to change it up a bit.

Funny thing is, when I was 18 it went all the way across my back < --this way and now it only takes up 1/3 of my < -back space-> #putonweightmuch?

I've got a couple more tats planned but I just don't have the money for it right now.

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Eva Gallant July 4, 2010 at 8:34 am

No tatts here! I can't imagine doing that…passing out, throwing up, and doing it again. Crazy.

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Internet Dating v3.1- All Fun And Games. – RRSAHM

Internet Dating v3.1- All Fun And Games.

by Lori Dwyer on January 10, 2013 · 3 comments

A while ago- so long ago, actually, that I can’t find the comment to link back to- a reader asked my opinion on this article written by Jesse Fink.

It’s been published over at The Modern Women’s Survival Guide. Catch you there.

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jojowilks January 16, 2013 at 7:18 pm

yep, I agree- Lets be kind in the way we think about our bodies.
…..except I threw up my first , most wanted post birth meal meal. what can you do?

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Anonymous January 12, 2013 at 2:02 pm

Yes I thought that too.
Gill :)

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Anonymous January 10, 2013 at 4:00 pm

They should have gotten your blogs name right. Ask them to correct that.

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Two feral children and the Party Season Awards. – RRSAHM

Two feral children and the Party Season Awards.

by Lori Dwyer on January 4, 2010 · 0 comments

Ok, I’m back. Sorry for the hiatus. I was having terrible visions of my blog fading into obscurity, with the last post being about Tiger Woods.

Party season in the D household is almost over, praise heaven. Here it lasts from ds‘s birthday in the first week of December to dh‘s birthday in the first week of January. So it’s officially been a month of good cheer and both my kids are absolutley screaming feral. Dd has been passed from rello to IL and back again, like a hot potato. And ds has had a solid month of eating junk, staying up late and missing day naps. They are both tired, out of sorts and out of routine. And to top that off, in some kind of bizarre torture tactic for the mothers of small children, there is no day care, no playgroup and no swimming lessons until next week, and ds‘s best mate is away for two weeks. SoftPlay might be making some money off us this week, me thinks.

To give you a small sample of what is going on here, ds was up at 5am, and made enough noise to wake dd, who then refused to go to sleep again until 9am, and then it was only a half hour nap in the sling. Ds went down for a nap at 11, then woke screaming at 1, and proceeded to have a 20 minute tantrum for an ice cream. I don’t where he got that idea from- we don’t even have any ice cream in the house. Maybe he was dreaming about it? Way too much sugar for that child over the last few weeks.

But it’s all ok, because there is only one (count it- ONE!!) party to go, and that’s dh‘s birthday, so a very small one. Yay!!

And seeing as it’s almost all over, here are my Annual Party Season Awards…

Best Present– Close tie between ticket to Wicked and an awesome candle lamp from Dusk.

Worst Present– A fibre optic hummingbird that lights up in all different colours.

Best Party Food– Wendy’s ice cream cake. How they get the sponge cake on the bottom to stay un-soggy is beyond me. Yum.

Worst Party Food– Cut glass, that jelly stuff. Who makes that anymore?? My distant relatives, that’s who.

Best ShinDig– Dh‘s niece’s half sister’s 5th birthday. Awesome fun.

Worst ShinDig– Xmas Eve dinner with my dad’s side. *Sigh*

Dishonourable mentions– Ditto my second cousin on my mum’s side. My brother for getting horrendously drunk and sunburnt at ds‘s birthday, earning himself the nicname ‘Roast Maggot’.

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I Hate Mornings. – RRSAHM

I Hate Mornings.

by Lori Dwyer on July 1, 2014 · 26 comments

This post bought to you by Nuffnang and Uncle Tobys.

***

It doesn’t matter how much ‘better’ I feel about the world, how settled and happy I am feeling with this new life, this Melbourne life… mornings suck. Mornings always have sucked. I am not a morning person.

I was asked to write this post and describe my dream morning. Lots of examples were given- breakfast in bed. Waking up on the beach. Showering under a waterfall.

All of those sound lovely. But if I was honest, my dream morning wouldn’t be a morning at all. It would involve sleeping until at least noon, snuggled up in bed next to the Amazing Man. No children screaming at me to get out of bed and make them breakfast at 6am.

Anyway. That’s a highly unrealistic expectation. Let’s pull this back into the realm of real life, where mornings start early and are, currently, freezing cold.

I don’t function properly until at least 10am. And half the important stuff happens before that. Getting kid dressed and fed, lunches made, the school drop-off completed. Some days all my energy has evaporated by 9am, used up simply by the act of getting myself and the kidlets out of the house.

In an ideal world, I’d start my day with 10 minutes of yoga. Instead, I spend the first half an hour curled up on the lounge, two small-ish bodies curled around me in improbable ways, kicking their icy cold feet in my back.

Ideally, the Bump and the Chop would get themselves dressed, brush their own teeth and put their shoes on, all without being asked six thousand times. They would not fight, or roll their eyes at their unreasonable mother who is just trying to get them to school on time. They would not screech at me, or at each other. There would never be a morning where I stand in the kitchen cursing because there is no fruit for school today, after forgetting to buy it the night before.

In the real world, there’s arguing and grumpiness. There are school clothes thrown on five minute before we leave the house. Some days, lunches are haphazard and less than nutritionally perfect.

Most mornings are laced with a hefty dose of parental guilt.

I hate mornings.

***

Uncle Tobys sent me some of their Oats Quick Sachets for the kidlets and myself to try. I think they’re attempting to make mornings more bearable. It actually kind of works. The kidlets still screech at each other- and me- but a lot of the time it’s screeching over who gets to choose their Oats flavour first. Which I understand. There are Creamy Honey, Apple and Berry; and they are all quite yummy. Nom nom. There’s something therapeutic about a warm, creamy bowl of oats on a Melbourne winter morning.

Oats2

The Oats have this thing where you can use the empty sachets to add your milk to the dry mix. The sachets even have a line marked on them to show you where to fill them to, in order to have the perfect amount to pour in. The novelty of that has not worn off on the kids. Or me. And it means less washing up for us. Which is awesome because I still have not dealt with the fact that we don’t have a dishwasher.

oats

And, let’s face it, it’s oats we’re talking about here. They are creamy and good and nutritionally sound. I can’t imagine a better winter breakfast. Take that, mummy guilt.

Happy kids. Guilt-free me. Easier mornings. It’s a win, win, win situation, really.

***

One lucky RRSAHM reader will win $50 in Uncle Tobys product and a $200 Red Balloon voucher towards your own ‘dream morning’ experience. Just leave a comment answering the question – How would Uncle Tobys Quick Sachets help you achieve your dream morning?

Giveaway ends 11 July, 5:00 AEDST. T’s&C’s can be found here. Happy comping!!

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Trish July 18, 2014 at 8:20 am

My enthusiastic eight year olds can make their own warm uncle Toby’s breakfast and I can enjoy my first cup of tea without saying a word and we make school bus without having to scream – hurry up eat your breakfast.

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Katherine July 11, 2014 at 1:51 pm

My dream morning would consist of getting up really early to float over the beautiful city of Melbourne in a hot air balloon. Now it’ll be cold so I’ll need some Uncle Toby’s in my thermos jar to eat and keep my warm whilst up in the balloon and to help line my stomach before a glass of bubbles or two!
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Richard Dalke July 11, 2014 at 1:35 pm

My dream morning would be waking up to sunshine, a load of cash and heading to the airport with no planned destination. Throw in some Uncle Toby’s, some mates and a few drinks later on in the day and it would not be a bad start at all..

Don’t tell me you haven’t thought the same!

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Theresa W. July 11, 2014 at 12:06 pm

I often skip breakfast, so this would help me start off healthy and keep me going for my many activities throughout the day.
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Milly July 11, 2014 at 11:47 am

My ideal morning would include a giant warm breakfast to heat me up on these cold winter mornings. This usually requires two sachets of Uncle Toby’s oats (sometimes I mix up the flavours to be adventurous) with plenty of fruit on top. Then with a warm belly and rugged up in a big jumper I’d take a walk on the beach to get started for the day.

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Danielle July 10, 2014 at 9:28 pm

Dream morning? Well if I am going to consider my dream morning, I first need to consider my reality. Which consists of the following…waking up at some ungodly hour where it is still dark outside, on one side of me is my exuberant 4 year old who has either wet my bed including up to my pillow OR is crying at me that ‘all the other mummies are up making breakfast except for mine!’, my delightful 2 year old yelling his guts out over the monitor (although tonight is his first night in a big boy bed so really looking forward to this spanner being thrown in the works, eeep!) and last but not least is my partner on the other side of me snoring like a chainsaw and completely oblivious to my suffering. I only went to bed about 4 hours before so I am feeling just a bit sleepy…just a wee bit. Possibly a tiny bit cranky too.
So my dream morning would consist of all of the above. Yep. This will not be my reality forever so I’m embracing it. Well…maybe more than 4 hours sleep would be nice but that’s my own fault. As well as some Uncle Tobys Quick Sachets. Sounds like they are fool proof, or even only-one-eye-half open tired Mummy proof.

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Lys July 9, 2014 at 12:59 pm

Oats are my all-time favourite breakfast cereal. I’d eat them every day if I could. But working full time, I have to be quick and sneak out of the house before the kids wake up on weekdays (Daddy does the school run), so I only have time for them on the weekends, when the kids insist on sharing them with me.
My dream morning would be for the quick sachets to give me a fast and easy way to have oats every day and NOT have to share them with my kids! Mwa ha ha ha! :)

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Tamsin Triance July 9, 2014 at 12:21 pm

My dream morning . . .

I wake on an icy cold morning to find a gorgeous mystery man spooning me and keeping me warm (he is fully clothed – nothing rude here!). He says “Good morning Gorgeous, would you like some delicious steamy oats for breakfast with your freshly brewed coffee?” Sleepily I mumble “Mmm, yes please”.
I slowly start to drift off again and feel him slide out of bed to go and make my morning recharge. Sometime later I am awoken by someone tickling my cheek gently. “Breakfast is served sweetie”. I slowly blink my eyes in to focus and see the strange yet gorgeous man standing there with a tray containing a giant cup if bitter yet deliciously sweet coffee, a steaming bowl of Uncle Tobys Berry Oats and a pile of fluffy pancakes drowning in sweet sticky maple syrup. I thank him and eat the sticky pancakes first. I pick up the steaming bowl of berry oats, the bowl is nice and warm on my hands and the oats smell divine. I slowly devour the oats and they warm me from the inside out. I drink my coffee and Mt Gorgeous says “I’ve taken your son to school”. He clears my breakfast mess and then comes back, hops in bed and spoons me all day. We talk about anything and everything all day.

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Nicole July 8, 2014 at 3:39 pm

My dream morning would be not to have to deal with my daughter wetting MY bed, no arguments about how much milk I’ve used in the cereal (because more, more, more mummy means the entire carton) no arguments about shoes before child care and not being late for work every DAY! I can dream…

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Cass July 8, 2014 at 1:40 pm

Pre-child, my dream morning would have looked a lot different..the old me would have loved to shower underneath a waterfall! But now as a mother, my dream morning is simply to arrive at work/playgroup/any public place, with my hair done (as opposed to the horrific bed head I often arrive with), my clothes free from the residue of my son’s breakfast and relatively on time with my tummy full of something other than a stress-induced ulcer :-)

I realise that Uncle Toby’s porridge won’t help with my hair, or my clean clothes (in fact I’m sure to slop it down myself).. but it sure will help my poor breakfast-deprived, acid filled tummy and since it’s quick, it’ll also assist with me being on time.. And that alone would be a win for me! :-)

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Elixr July 8, 2014 at 5:03 am

My dream morning has changed. When I was a single mum to a teeny baby, then sleepless toddler, I dreamed of sleeping until 7am. Then, I used to dream that my preschooler could make her own freaking porridge! Now, life has changed again and I’m awake at 5am preparing for my last Uni exam- my new partner is snoring next to me and my kiddo sleeps through the night at last, I will make them porridge in an hour or so. Never would’ve dreamed this reality but it’s pretty great. So my dream is trivial- the proper uncle Toby’s stuff instead of our home brand porridge. And tomorrow: a sleep in!!! XxJ

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Emma July 7, 2014 at 11:22 pm

Hi Lori,
I used to love reading your blog, but these product endorsements are getting too much. It’s kinda insulting to your followers. Porridge Smorridge!

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Sarah July 8, 2014 at 4:58 am

People need to earn there $$$ somehow.

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Nicole July 8, 2014 at 3:35 pm

Emma, it’s not compulsory to follow. ;)

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Renee July 6, 2014 at 10:37 pm

Welcome back Lori!
My dream morning would be spent at a day spa getting a massage and a mani/ pedi followed by a quiet breakfast (eggs Benedict, cooked by someone else!) and a coffee (all consumed while still hot!).. While someone else is at home getting 3 grumpy kids up, dressed and fed 3 different breakfasts (god forbid they could just have the same thing and make it easier for mummy!), lunches made, bags packed, hair done and wrangled into the car and off to school..

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katie July 5, 2014 at 11:14 pm

I had just clicked on to comment that I miss your ‘real life’ posts too, like from Tiny Train Town. I used to check your page every day for years. Product sponsorship is great, but just miss hearing about yourself. Take Care Lori. Katie.
___________
Lori,
I miss hearing about what’s really going on in your world.
Having followed your blog for a long time I’m sad that the majority of your posts don’t give us an insight into what’s really going on for you but are instead in response to a product endorsement.
Will we hear about your world again soon?
I hope all is well and that the product posts are because you are not able to speak about where you are at.
Much love

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Carly Findlay July 5, 2014 at 8:18 am

My dream morning happens most mornings: a snuggle with the man I love, he kisses me and says I’m beautiful, even with my unwashed face and scratchy skn. And when he leaves for work, he presents me with my engagement ring. Every morning he tells me he wants to marry me.
My dream morning is my reality.
Hope you’re well x
Carly Findlay recently posted…Appearance diversity: Turia Pitt tells her story.My Profile

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Belle July 4, 2014 at 3:28 pm

Lori,
I miss hearing about what’s really going on in your world.
Having followed your blog for a long time I’m sad that the majority of your posts don’t give us an insight into what’s really going on for you but are instead in response to a product endorsement.
Will we hear about your world again soon?
I hope all is well and that the product posts are because you are not able to speak about where you are at.
Much love

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Little mum July 3, 2014 at 7:38 pm

With a pinch of cinnamon, nutmeg and some sultanas added before I pop it in the microwave, some quick oats sachets would help put a smidgen of luxury back into my now totally unglamorous, baby-caring morning.

Great to see you back Lori! Only give us what you can spare, xox

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Mel G July 2, 2014 at 7:31 pm

Given that my dream morning doesn’t start before 10am, Uncle Toby’s Quick Oat sachets are perfect for my family as my kids are old enough to make it themselves! The milk line on the packet makes it super easy to understand too. And on those rare occasions I get to stay in bed til 10 (not as often as I like), Uncle Toby’s Quick Oats are perfect then too… yay!

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Tanya July 2, 2014 at 8:58 am

My ideal morning would be to roll out of my enormous beautifully dressed bed, grab a freshly juiced pineapple juice, and jump into my private villa pool, preferably somewhere in remote Bali.
In reality, I’m dragging myself out of bed when the alarm goes off, putting on fleecy lined track suits and uggy’s and not until I eat my Uncle Tobys’ does it feel like my dream morning.
Ah that warm cozy feeling…

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Jenny July 2, 2014 at 7:41 am

LORIIIIIIIII!!! I have really missed you. I’m glad you’re back, and hope all is ok. Let me tell you something really scary – after years of being woken up early by small boys, these days I cannot sleep beyond about 7am. And they are still in bed at 10 now! Jenny D

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Toni @ Finding Myself Young July 1, 2014 at 10:05 pm

I agree mornings suck! I’d love to sleep past noon too.
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Mel C July 1, 2014 at 8:53 pm

It would help me achieve my dream morning by not having to scream at the kids to hurry up and finish their breakfast. It would be a quick and easy start to the day while I run around sorting out school lunches and uniforms etc plus I know it will keep them going until lunchtime

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Carol Lee July 1, 2014 at 7:45 pm

Living here in the hills it is always colder than most places. A good warm breakfast would be the go, and my son would love the berry variety.
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Kellie July 1, 2014 at 5:42 pm

My dream morning is any morning where I sleep past 730.My eight and a half year old has finally mastered handling massive carton of milk we buy. This means she can make her own Uncle Tobys oats without my help, especially on the days when she gets up at 6am! Gotta love that.

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Abandoned Bus

Abandoned Bus

The Bus On Putty Road

by Lori Dwyer on April 5, 2013 · 3 comments

You might remember that just before Christmas, my mate Auntie Mickey and I went urban exploring on the Putty Road. One of the more amazing things we discovered was The Bus, and the many rumours that swirled around the life of the lady who lived there, all alone in the strangest place.

One of my awesome readers did some research on the Bus resident and owner. A huge thank you to Mark, who wrote this post.

***

Mail for Desiree at the bus on Putty Road

Desiree was born in England in 1925. She lost the lower part of a leg in a motorbike accident when young. Sort of unusual for a lady in England back then. Emigrated to Australia in 1953. I think she was a nurse?
 
 She was on the electoral roll in 1963, but there is nothing after that. We don’t know what she did till the late 70′s or early 80′s when she turned up at Darkey Creek. She must have been in her sixties then. She guarded her place well. The Department of Motor Registry (DMR) workers used to know her back then, and she had some friends around the area who called in. That Austin 1800 car was hers- it was a real money pit. I would say it was burnt in one of the bushfires at some time.

 
Desiree's abandoned car on Putty Road

I have traveled the Putty Rd for 30 years or so and there was always a light on in the night, and smoke coming from her chimney. She was proud of her garden and kept the little area well. If you looked carefully, just about every square meter is laid with black drip feed pipe. She had a pump, generator, washing machine, etc; so she was set up OK.

 

She had her veggie-patch and some dogs. I have been through the Putty Road when that area was alight with fire on both sides of the road. She must have fought the bushfires single handed. The DMR or the council tried to evict her for many years and she handed them their arse on a platter every time; one smart lady. I met her briefly once and she was a cranky old lady. Not to talkative at all. 

 

When I stopped there the bus had been empty for some time. Why they tossed all her stuff out I don’t know. I think a man moved in there for a while but didn’t stay long. All the rubbish at the bus was from him as Desiree kept the place tidy. As I said, she had a lot to put up with. Truck drivers stopping to proposition her for sex. Hoons in cars firing guns over the bus at night. I know someone who called at the bus after she moved and found her diary. Her family back in the UK had been trying to trace her for a fair while. So he sent her diary over to them. I have been in touch with her niece.

 

When I called in the creek was dry with a stagnant pool, so it must have been tough for her sometimes. I found a damp folder amongst the stuff strewn around with x-rays from 2004 to 2008; she had some problems alright. I know in the end she stood out on the road for 3 hours with her thumb out in the hot sun trying to get a lift into town. How hard would that be for a frail 80 year-old?

 

Anyway, I would say she just got too ill and went into a nursing home. She was only in there for a short while till she passed away. I am going to go back to the bus soon, and if you just sit on her little cement seat for a while you can imagine how peaceful and nice it must have been. I think this sums her up nicely.

 

There is a lot to her obscure story and I am trying to find out about her life… one interesting lady.

 
The bus on Putty Road

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A scary, creepy FlogYoBlog Friday!! – RRSAHM

A scary, creepy FlogYoBlog Friday!!

by Lori Dwyer on October 29, 2010 · 17 comments

Boo!!

Happy Halloween everyone. Yes, I know, it’s a totally Americanised tradition, yadda, yadda, yadda, don’t care. i love trick or treaters,and I always have something here for them, just in case we actually get some. It’s happened once in four years. Dressing up and eating spewfuls of lollies, what is there to complain about? Commercialisation, corporatisation, bad themes for children. Shush now, common sense. You’re ruining all my fun.

Whatever.

Anyboo. In honor of all things creepy, I thought I’d bring you some very scary Lori’s.

I know. Terrifying, right?


Do you think Edward will dig this look…?
Bite me.

OK. Enough of that. On with the flogging!! If you want the technical lowdown, check out this post here. But totally ignore what it says about WordPress blogs, that no longer applies- the regular code should work just fine. Oh, and just because the title says “Creepy FlogYoBlog” doesn’t mean you have to have a theme- link up whatever you like! FlogYoBlog Friday is never themed, no matter what trash I waffle on about here.

Get set, get linky… flog!!

The Rules.
  1. Follow my blog, the Random Ramblings of a SAHM. I never seem to get to reading all the links here. But believe me, I try. Not that any of this is my idea anyway- FYBF is MummyTime’s brainbaby, I’m just minding it for a bit.
  2. Grab B’s bubbly button and post it on your sidebar.
  3. Link your First Name and/or Blog Name and URL of your linked post (not your homepage) below. 
  4. Add a short description (max of 125 chars). It could be a description of yourself, your blog or a teaser to your latest post. .
  5. Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger (Be nice and spread the love).
  6. The list will be open for linkyers on Fridays (and for the foreigners Friday as well).
  7. A new and fresh link list will open  every Friday. And you will have to link up AGAIN. The previous link list  does not carry over to the following week.
  8. And lastly, have lotsa fun. I mean it. If I detect anyone not totally loving the awesomeness, I will bump you off the linky list. (Joking) (Kinda).
  9. rrsahm

Annnnnd… in case anyone reads the fine print- it may just be my birthday this weekend!! Happy birthday to me!!
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Tiffany Christie November 2, 2010 at 12:24 am

Here from the bloghop.
I'm a new follower. Please follow back
Tiffany
http://tiffspixiedust.blogspot.com

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Colie’s Kitchen October 30, 2010 at 7:02 pm

Hi this is Nicole from Colies Kitchen I just discovered your blog and wanted to drop by and say hi. I really like your blog, and am now a new follower. I would love to have you stop by Colie’s Kitchen if you get a chance. http://www.colieskitchen.com

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Joni Llanora October 30, 2010 at 2:07 pm

Have a happy birthday Lori! And I love Halloween too though it's disappointing I'm not feeling it in my neighborhood. I'll probably start a trick or treat activity for kids next year.

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Show Me Mama October 30, 2010 at 2:21 am

I am your new follower. You can follow me back at http://showmemama.com. Make sure you leave a comment so I know you visited.

Have a great weekend
ShowMeMama

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Kristy October 30, 2010 at 1:02 am

Ack! I'm going to have nightmares of those glowing eyes! :)

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Marthese October 30, 2010 at 8:51 am

Happy Birthday…hope you will be very spoiled!

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Marita October 29, 2010 at 8:20 pm

Love the Halloween look :)

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Aly October 29, 2010 at 7:18 pm

Happy Birthday for this weekend!
x
Yes, I do read the fine print!

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Design It Chic October 29, 2010 at 6:25 pm

Hey Lori, thanks for hosting again! It's always fun to join you and you're doing an amazing job! Oh and just for the record, i read the small fine print.. so HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! It's so cool that you have your birthday around Halloween! That's what makes your pictures even cooler/scarier:) ha ha! loves it! Oh and feel free to check our latest tips to better our blogs .. since we're at it:P NOT!:):) Happy Birthday again!

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Tina October 29, 2010 at 5:56 pm

I'm with Jodie. Your twitter pic is a little scary! Just your halloween one. Not your normal one hehe. Happy Friday! xx

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Lolaferrola October 29, 2010 at 5:30 pm

Loving the Halloween weekend too, our neighbourhood go for it big style. Have a happy birthday weekend! x

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Gill@OurParklife October 29, 2010 at 1:43 pm

oooh, very scary….

Edward wont be able to resist the strategically placed blood on the throat!

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Paige October 29, 2010 at 12:49 pm

ow. ow. thats one sexy mama

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Michelle Twin Mum October 29, 2010 at 8:52 am

You really are a nutter! but a fun one. Mich x

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Jodie at Mummy Mayhem October 29, 2010 at 8:13 am

I'll be honest…every time I see your pic on Twitter it FREAKS ME OUT.

But that's a good thing…right?

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Lucy October 29, 2010 at 7:19 am

Sexy eyes………

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momentsofwhimsy October 29, 2010 at 7:12 am

Red suits your complexion.
No, really……

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Exhale. – RRSAHM

Exhale.

by Lori Dwyer on April 10, 2012 · 5 comments

*Exhale*

My mate and uber–blogger Eden has been in Niger very recently as part of an initiative by World Vision to help spread the word about the impeding food crisis… I won’t go into all the details here. You know the drill. And if you don’t, educate thyself. Start by reading the last few posts Eden has written, and go from there.

Reading the first post she wrote from there, the sense of shell shock was palpable. Not even the deeper emotions of gratitude and wonder and sadness and all those other things– they came up later, they’re still coming up now, I guess, as she makes her way home- she may in fact be home by the time this is published, and I hope she is, safe and sound and filled with a thousand more things to tell the world.

But in that first post….it was total culture shock; the complete, brutal contrast from her life– our lives– to the lives of the people she was now immersed in.

Shell shock. Horror. Fear. Terror. But Eden is the bravest of the brave– so brave I bet she doesn’t even see it anymore, it’s ingrained and she can’t remember what it was like to shy away from things. She still feels that fear, for sure, but it never occurs to her to pander to it anymore– she’s kicked it’s arse too many times before.

Eden and I, circa sometime last year….

The bravest of the brave, and that’s a good thing. World Vision picked the right person– Eden knows what’s it’s like to be terrified, and keep on going.

I found myself afraid for her. Reading about security briefings, bad food (seriously, Lori?) and the ferocity of what she was experiencing– the realness of it, where you can’t switch off the TV or x the screen or hop into your comfy, warm bed and sleep and forget that side of life exists at all.

So I sat there, reading Eden’s first post from Africa, and I’m feeling genuinely frightened for her. And at the same time I’m feeling like a total dick again.

Here I am, so afraid for Eden, because it’s Eden– Eden of the skulls and cowboy boots, Eden who is not too cool to admit she was intimidated in LA Ink; Eden who laid a ritual of flowers in a temple in Bali, placing them in the shape of my husbands name… a ritualistic act of prayer that I’ve never expressed the importance of, properly.

But what makes Eden so different from any other woman in Niger, except for that the fact that I know her, that she lives in my over-privileged society too, were it’s possible to be friends with woman who live hours away because we just can; were we’re so granted with stuff we don’t even know we know we have it?

Not a damn thing. Except that while it’s so easy to make the people of entire continent faceless, to not even consider that, except for a slip of fate that had me born into a body that was located here and not there….  I know things about Eden that make her real. And having her there, seeing her amongst it, someone I know and have hugged and cried on her shoulder (hey, I’ve cried on most Aussie bloggers shoulder’s at one point or another, either across wifi or in person), seeing her against a backdrop of the world’s community I normally prefer not to think about it… it makes it very, very real.

These women, these men, these children…. they all have favorite music and smells and foods and colors too. They have nights where they can’t sleep too, but for reasons far more mortal and elemental than mine.

I’m sitting, right now, on a lounge suite that I think needs replacing soon. It’s got a bit of wear and tear and, really, we could do with a new one.

It’s worth more, in it’s current soiled, used state, that an entire family in Niger would earn in a year.

Once again, that sense of privileged entitlement– so disgustingly ingrained and base in my psyche– smacks me in the face with itself. And suddenly, amongst a whole huge planet of people, I feel very, very small.

Sponsor a child

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Melissa April 10, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Wow. Just wow.

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edenland April 10, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Holy shit you are wise beyond your years, Lori. You really are. You just made me aware of stuff about myself that I didn't even KNOW.

Thank you for this post, for your own honesty. I will never forget the hand-wringing that preceded laying out those Balinese flowers in Tony's name that day. I felt so helpless that day – for you, and what you were going through. That's the thing – the bigger picture. Is that most of us, want to do something that means things – help people out, ease people's pain. We are probably all more alike than we realise XXXX

PS I was SO SCARED being in that country. And I don't really get scared! Coolest thing ever, except when I thought I was going to die. Heh. xxx

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Stacey April 10, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Eden's posts have had a similar effect on me too Lori – I've been reading lots on the food crisis, worrying about Eden traipsing around the African country side and tearing up over the photos of such beautiful people with such sad eyes.

I think Eden's posts co-inciding with Easter contributed to my feelings – we all have so much but we all want so much more. It made me laugh to see all those people in a buying frenzy in the supermarket because the shops were closed for Good Friday. Calm down people!

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Annettewith6 April 10, 2012 at 1:28 pm

This is the life view that guides my 27yr old..she sponsors 5 children on her Austudy allowance…she holds a dinner once a month where her friends pay a small amount and this goes toward one of her children…her Henry dinners. As a 13yr old she refused a bursary when she had to fill in a questionnaire that asked what she missed out on being the 3rd of 6, of a single parent, Centrelink income mother….. Mum, we have everything, they need to give the money to 'poor' people…..
I too sponsor 3 kids on my Centrelink level income (which I hope to soon supplement again as soon as I finish the last 5 units of my degree!!!) and have raised my six to all head off to tertiary schooling, but they recognise the blessings they have received just by being born HERE….
Niger is also close to my heart as my cousin has been a Nurse Practitioner/Midwife Missionary there for over 20 years and just this Sunday was visiting on furlough for a couple of months til she goes back.
I guess we all need to constantly remind ourselves that no matter how 'poor' we are we still live at a standard that so many just couldn't even imagine.
I also lend at $25 a time to an organisation called KIVA…they seem to do a pretty good job supporting 3rd world small businesses.
Annette

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Annettewith6 April 10, 2012 at 1:26 pm

This is the life view that guides my 27yr old..she sponsors 5 children on her Austudy allowance…she holds a dinner once a month where her friends pay a small amount and this goes toward one of her children…her Henry dinners. As a 13yr old she refused a bursary when she had to fill in a questionnaire that asked what she missed out on being the 3rd of 6, of a single parent, Centrelink income mother….. Mum, we have everything, they need to give the money to 'poor' people…..
I too sponsor 3 kids on my Centrelink level income (which I hope to soon supplement again as soon as I finish the last 5 units of my degree!!!) and have raised my six to all head off to tertiary schooling, but they recognise the blessings they have received just by being born HERE….
Niger is also close to my heart as my cousin has been a Nurse Practitioner/Midwife Missionary there for over 20 years and just this Sunday was visiting on furlough for a couple of months til she goes back.
I guess we all need to constantly remind ourselves that no matter how 'poor' we are we still live at a standard that so many just couldn't even imagine.
I also lend at $25 a time to an organisation called KIVA…they seem to do a pretty good job supporting 3rd world small businesses.
Annette

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All Cars Are Girls – RRSAHM

All Cars Are Girls

by Lori Dwyer on January 22, 2013 · 6 comments

You’ll have to forgive me. this post-really has taken a long time to write. I have no good excuse for that, except perhaps that bubble I was waffling on about yesterday.

Which, when I think about it, is actually a really, really good excuse.

Anyway. Just before-Christmas, as money in the TinyTrainHouse slowly squeezed itself tighter and tighter, I decided that maybe it was time to do some cost cutting. And the most practical way to do that was by downgrading my much-loved but extremely petrol-hungry AWD SUV Turbo and invest in something slightly smaller, cheaper to run, and that hadn’t caused me months of unnecessary emotional heartache.

Sometimes life is, as we know, ridiculously difficult, for no other reason than it can be. And because the universe is, so to speak, a bit of a bitch.

But then, sometimes, for no apparent reason at all, things just… work. I’d like to say it happens ‘often’, but that might be a lie. So I’ll settle for saying that the Universe seems to be working with me lately, rather than engaged in a stupid arm wrestle that I just can’t win.

The universe seemed to appreciate this idea of buying a new car. Within a week of making the decision- and just begun to mull and fret over the effort required, the selling and pricing and buying and registering and what-not-  a solution, easy and practical, presented itself.

Which is a welcome change from feeling very much like a lightning rod for bad karma.

I’d forgotten- though maybe my subconscious had remembered- that my mate Bunny had, just a month or so ago, decided he was bored with the car he drove. And had gone New Car Shopping for a car just like my SUV, but had been unable to find one he liked. Obviously because the Universe was saving his small, efficient blue Lancer for me.

The Brand New Second Hand Car.

The Brand New Second Hand Car.

And the further we investigated the pro’s, con’s and prices of Bunny’s Car vs My Car, the more obvious the answer become. Both cars sold for roughly the same price- within $300 difference of one another. The kilometers they had both done were identical to within 50 k’s. And both were about 2000 k’s overdue for their next service.

Swapping cars was just too easy. No messing around with ads and phone calls and waiting and negotiating and waiting more. I didn’t even have to vacuum the bloody thing before I handed it over. (l probably should have. But didn’t. Because that’s what friends are for.)

Sometimes, things can be simple. Maybe sometimes I just need to let them be simple.

So- introducing our brand new second hand Car. That we’ve actually had for a while now. Despite missing my turbo, I’m loving the Lancer. Who, after some discussion via Twitter and IG, has been christened ‘Genevieve’. Because I just couldn’t pass up the suggestion of calling the car ‘Sir Lancer-lot’….

But as everyone knows, all cars are girls.

***

And further in line with the Universe being nice to me… at around that same breath-holding, just-scraping-by time of year; just when I was beginning to glance warily at the Bump’s daggy old car seat and worry incessantly at how her shoulders were just getting higher and higher against her shoulder straps (tall skinny thing that she is), I got one of PR emails. An awesome one this time, not a sucky one.

This one was inviting the Bump and myself to review the new Britax Safe-n-Sound Maxi Rider AHR Easy Adjust car seat. I think Miss Mini-Fashionista (obviously doesn’t get that from me) sums up what we thought of it, here…

Bumpy Fashionista

Bumpy Fashionista

It was pretty damn cool.

It’s built like a veritable car seat fortress… the old one actually feels like polystyrene in comparison. It’s got so many layers of padding that it really does suit kidlets from approximately six months to around-abouts eight years old, without them ever looking like itty bitty tiny dolls with floppy necks that may just fling out of their seat at the slightest touch of the brakes. The Bump is currently harnessed in, but this seat has impressive fold-down arms for when she’s heavy and old enough.

The straps are so easy to move around, with actual buttons to release them (who would have thunk…?) and there are pockets and storage compartments everywhere.

And to complete the way too school for coolness of it all… it has speakers built into the head rest. And, tucked into it’s own little elasticised pocket on the side (out of reach of tiny fingers!) is the headphone jack. Total win.

Safe-n-Sound Maxi Rider AHR Easy Adjust

Safe-n-Sound Maxi Rider AHR Easy Adjust

At around $529, it’s actually the kind of car seat I’d usually look at in a baby shop and sigh over and think to myself that I just couldn’t justify the expense. But having tried it, it actually feels… safer. Which is quite logical given the whole value for money equation.

And it just looks so much… cooler.

***

Tales of everyday equilibrium continue tomorrow with the story of a replacement kitten, and a missing DimSum. Stay tuned.

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tas fashion June 11, 2014 at 9:09 pm

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Lynda M O July 20, 2013 at 3:16 pm

As a former medic, I applaud all improvements in car safety for kids. Only please be sure it’s in there correctly, I’m betting you did what the directions say. The advent of car seats has saved So Many Little Lives…. You did good, mama.
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Lori Dwyer July 21, 2013 at 4:28 pm

Hi Lynda, It’s in there perfectly, I’m a stickler for car seats being installed correctly- I get them checked by the professionals whenever I can, too! :) x
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FunMumX3 January 23, 2013 at 12:32 am

A headphone jack and speakers… lawdy what is the world coming to? I will hold out for a carseat with integrated iPod dock, myself :)

Glad karma is swinging back your way.

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Melissa @The Things I’d Tell You January 22, 2013 at 4:08 pm

I love the way that that has worked out for you. It’s not often that things just fall into place that way. Made me smile.

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nightwolf January 22, 2013 at 11:20 am

Ooh nice. Mum bought a simlar seat (still a safe-n-sound) for Miss K last year, she loves it & loves she can have her own music too.

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Dammit, Centrelink. – RRSAHM

Dammit, Centrelink.

by Lori Dwyer on September 13, 2013 · 9 comments

God dammit, Centrelink.

Obviously, moving in with The Most Amazing Man has necessitated prolonged and painful communication with Centrelink in its many forms (pun totally intended). It’s continuing to be the source of much stress, frustration, and monotonous box-checking. I know that a fair chunk of my Aussie readers will feel my pain.

For those jellybeans who live overseas, I’ll give you a quick translation of what I’m talking about. Australia has a relatively awesome social welfare system (in comparison to, say, the US). We are lucky enough to get parenting payments and family tax benefits, which mostly come in the form of weekly deposits direct to our bank accounts.

To access those payments, you have to first go through Centrelink, the national agency that correlates and boxes people, and handles the money. I’ve been ‘lucky’, so to speak, for the last few years. I’ve not had to deal with Centrelink much. Someone being dead means they don’t require reassessment often.

Now that I’m partnered again, it’s game on. The amount of information Centrelink requires is startling.

I’m aware that bitching about all of this is the epitome of a first world problem, and I’m a little bit ashamed of myself. 

But… well. But nothing, actually. I’m going to bitch anyway.

Being the responsible, not-wanting-to-be-in-debt type of person that I am (hah), I rang Centrelink’s parenting line a week before I made the big move to Melbourne; and waited half hour on hold, to let them know my ‘circumstances would be changing’.

They told me they couldn’t do anything about that until the circumstances had actually changed.

Fair enough.

When I rang them again a week later to tell them my circumstances had changed (had being the operative word in that phrase), they told me that they couldn’t do anything about that over the phone, I needed to have an interview at the Centrelink office. The earliest available was ten days away.

Until then, the logical thing to do was cut off my payments completely.

Okay then.

I show up to the interview. The Customer Service Officer “tsk tsk’s” at me, because I don’t have all the (God-forsaken) forms I need. Why didn’t I have them posted to me?

Because they couldn’t update my address until I had this interview. And they couldn’t send the forms to any other address than the one they had on the computer.

Awesome.

The Customer Service Office then handed me a virtual phonebook of forms. No less than eight, actually. And The Most Amazing Man and I set about filling them out and attaching the required documentation.

 

A phonebook sized stack of forms to be filled out. Cheers, Centrelink.

A phonebook sized stack of forms to be filled out. Cheers, Centrelink.

 

Drivers licence, passport, birth certificate, rates notice, profit and loss statements, depreciation statements, bank statements, payslips, enrolment certificates. We answered questions about our work and exactly what duties we did (divided up by hour). We answered questions about the TinyTrainHouse, how many toilets it had, and ignored the request for ‘a hand drawn map, should the property be difficult to find’.

And I thought applying for a rental was intrusive.

Anyway. I have five days left in which to bare my soul at the altar of my local Centrelink office, lest they cut me off completely. It feels like sacrificing dignity for money, or something.

First world problem.

Centrelink, I am real tired of your sh*t.

 

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Vanessa September 21, 2013 at 12:04 pm

Oh god I can’t stand them! You can do everything right and by the book and still be wrong! Nothing gets my blood boiling as easily as them.

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Anonymous September 19, 2013 at 11:31 am

While I totally understand the pain of dealing with government entities, give thanks for the great system in place! In the states, I dont know if mental health issues would get welfare! Good luck with all that! :)

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Michelle Holland September 17, 2013 at 10:09 am

It really is so difficult to deal with them Lori, I feel for you. I had to go on a Disability Pension for my mental health issues and it took 3 MONTHS to get my first payment. They back-paid of course, but what did they think I was living on? Fresh air?
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Suzy Mac September 16, 2013 at 6:08 pm

Please tell me they didnt ask for copies of ‘your’ birth certificate and drivers licence again?? You’ve moved home not been reincarnated – what are these people on?!
Actually I think they work on the same premise as insurance companies ; being if they put enough hurdles up, you might actually decide it’s not worth it.. When we moved to Melbourne way back and the movers broke our DVD player – to settle the claim, they demanded several photographs showing it not working. We sent several pictures of the DVD player with our fingers on the play button.
Centrelink works like that.
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Erin September 13, 2013 at 5:51 pm

Centerlink on-line services should save you paperwork in the future.

Maybe… ??

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Kat September 13, 2013 at 5:42 pm

Totally feel your pain! My husband and I have been on the Centrelink merry go round for a few months now, having graduated from the Centrelink Ferris wheel – a lot slower and less exciting but round and round nonetheless! They are crazy! My husband as a stay at home dad has to log on and report my income every fortnight – why not me?! Stupid! And their online stuff is almost as difficult to deal with as waiting on the phone and then getting someone who knows nothing. I’ve just hung up before when I’ve heard “your expected wait time is longer than 90 minutes…”! Screw that! Urgh. :-/

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Chris Johnston September 13, 2013 at 4:26 pm

Don’t feel bad it’s a legitimate whinge!

I jumped through those hoops once only and when I found out how little we were entitled to I didn’t ever bother with them again.

That said, I truly feel for the parents who rely on our social security system to feed their families. Bloody frustrating!

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Liz September 13, 2013 at 4:25 pm

Ahh the joys of Centrelink! It’s just one massive merry-go-round with them! I worked at Centrelink for three months about eight years ago and I still have no idea how the system works or what my job actually involved! I left when an old man came in and told them he had just discovered himself to be two years younger than he thought, he was given his older brother’s birthdate somehow ( the older brother died before this man was born), he discovered the truth and set about rectifying the situation so Centrelink, in its wisdom, decided to make the poor man pay back thousands of dollars worth of benefits! He was 73 years old for gods sake! Poor old dude. So anyway, good luck!!

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Whoa, Molly! September 13, 2013 at 12:14 pm

Don’t feel bad about whining – all problems are relative and these are yours.

And man, I know all about Centrelink. I’m grateful that we have an awesome social welfare system, but I also know what it’s like trying to navigate it. I’ve never had to do the family thing, but while I was a student they made life pretty much hell for me.

I was damn grateful for the 240 bucks a week they gave me as a student, especially when I lived near my regional uni campus and simply could not find a job. But these ease with which they would just cut my payments off, for months at a time, was pretty alarming. ‘Oh you didn’t get this form in time? Two months of starving and falling behind in the rent while we forget to send it out twice more and then finally get it and take three more weeks to process it. You don’t really need to eat, do you?’

GOOD TIMES!

I’m wishing you luck with your latest round of Centrelink wrangling!
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Held Hostage In My Home By Two Small People. – RRSAHM

Held Hostage In My Home By Two Small People.

by Lori Dwyer on July 5, 2010 · 20 comments

Heya,

Welcome. Today is “Lori Has a Big Whinge Day”. I am about to have a big, sooky, crybaby whinge. If you don’t like that, too bad, suck it up princess I do apoligise and I promise we will resume regular programming tomorrow.

I have two children under three years old.

Big freaking deal. I know a lot of you are in the same boat.

So I hope you’ll sympathise.

Up until this point, we were doing A-OK. I define doing A-OK in this house by the satisfaction of a few variables.

a) Mummy has gotten out of her pajamas, and is wearing make up,

b) The house-cleaning Minimum Code of Conduct has been enforced,

c) The kidlets are both fed, slept up, clean, dry-bummed and medicated where necessary,

and

d) We have practiced the ritual of Leaving The House in some incarnation, whether it be a pilgrimage to the park, shops or PlayMaze.

Really, I don’t think that’s a lot to ask.

But it’s Requirement d) that is giving us some troubles at the moment. Mixed with a pinch of Requirement c) (variable two- slept up) and a large helping of Requirement a).

The Bump has reached the terrible stage of Older Baby-Hood.

You see, NewBorns and Little Babies are tops. They sleep anywhere, everywhere* and they don’t require much prep- just a nappy or two and some wipes, and the booby milk comes along for the ride.

Older Babies are not quite so compliant.

The Bump is definitively on solid foods. Which requires an intensive gutsing eating session, preferably with floor mat, high chair, bib, wipes, aprons and protective clothing for by-standers, every two to three hours. And she is becoming quite the Sleeping Beauty, with her two naps a day in her cot and nowhere else, thank you very much.

All of which is just fine. If I never, ever want to leave the house again.

By the time the Bump is up from her morning sleep, the Chop is ready for his midday nap. By the time the Chop wakes up, the Bump is ready for another sleep.

Add to that the perpetual feeding of the troops, and things are really complicated. Food and sleep are the holy grails of both Toddler-dom and Older Baby-Hood. Without these vital safeguards in place, the natives get restless. Things get ugly very quickly.

Most days I’m stuck between a rock and a cranky place. A need to get out into the real world and be as social as one can be with a huge pram, a Mary Poppins style nappy bag and a dawdling two year old; versus a need to not have two tired children screaming at me when I get home. A desire to change into my jeans and shirt that doesn’t have food smeared on it; balanced with an apathy that says it easier just to stay in my trackie pants.

This too shall pass, I know that. In five years time I’ll be aching for this time of my life, nostalgic for it as the happiest I’ve ever been.

But some days, the lack of social stimulation just about kills me.

Praise the Google God for the tools of Twitter, FaceBook and blogging, eh?

*Most newborn babies. Bar those with colic or refulx or who just like to scream for the fun of it.
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lori July 7, 2010 at 1:51 pm

I'm a couple days late to the whine party, so you're probably all better now (I hope) but I do remember those days and it gets easier. :-)

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In Real Life July 6, 2010 at 9:01 am

I remember those days too! *HUGS* to you!

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Kristy July 6, 2010 at 6:15 am

You have captured perfectly some of the angst mothers feel everyday. Blog world is wonderful to get validation to the thoughts you have had yourself – just wish I had discovered it earlier when I beat myself up for being so freakin pissed that it was hard to get my son to go down for a nap (and then throw a mini tantrum on the inside when he woke up 30 minutes later). I find my blog to be the perfect place to complain. Get it out and let us enjoy! :)

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Draft Queen July 5, 2010 at 11:45 pm

I remember those days! Now it's more like we can't leave because one or the other has found his/herself grounded.

But then come days like today: Day camp is open and I have a paid holiday from work. Glorious peace and quiet! I love my children but there's only so much bickering I can handle and my kids handed it over this past weekend!

The Bump will alter her sleep schedule shortly. And Chop will discover life after naps. (The horror!) You will leave the house again, Lori. I promise. My son was and still is a "grazer". Eats a little bit every other hour. At some point I just started making him take his meals on the go so we could leave the house. It just meant washing the stroller frequently.

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Kimberly July 5, 2010 at 10:43 pm

I am so glad that I have just ONE little monster to deal with right now. I can't even fathom dealing with any more!! As much as I love him to bits, he can really drive me crazy…no pun

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Lucy July 5, 2010 at 10:13 pm

I am late to this, butu OMG I recall this stage – vile. Poor Charlie – I gave up his morning nap for him, in favour of a life……..

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Jacque July 5, 2010 at 3:46 pm

Oh boy! I feel ya! My hubby gives me a hard time about being on the computer but I think I may have actually gotten through to him today how much I 'need' to interact with people over the age of 3 sometimes… and of course most of the people I 'know' are in my computer! lol :)
I gave you a blog award – come over and grab it when you get a moment! http://stanwoodplayschool.com/2010/07/uh-oh-i-got-my-first-blog-award-watch.html

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Maxabella July 5, 2010 at 2:48 pm

Aye, praise indeed. I had 3 under 4 and I feel your pain. I always opted to get out of the house and just take the cranky-pants witching hour ('cos, let's face it, witching hour sux whatever you do.)

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Justine July 5, 2010 at 1:58 pm

we missed you this morning!

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Wanderlust July 5, 2010 at 12:57 pm

It's hard, hard, hard and you have every right to whinge. And I have to agree with Eva… don't miss it. Well, maybe a little. But not the best time in my life. Because I pretty much had no life. Mommy coma. It get's better, and hard in different ways, as I'm sure you know and expect. But it's all wonderful, even when it's not, because what would we do without them?

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Being Me July 5, 2010 at 12:25 pm

Oh God. You mean I shouldn't be in my track pants now my child is about to turn 4??

I understannnnd!!! And sympathise. And I have only ever had one at a time to "deal" with. Frankly, a mother of two little people (under 3) is something I would not have been terribly good at, I just know it. So anyone who has done/is doing it, I take my hat off to.

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Amy xxoo July 5, 2010 at 12:23 pm

I feel you on this one, only my situation has been a little opposite. I only have the one bubba, who is now 6 months old. However,since about 4 months til, oh, about two weeks ago, Flynn was extremely clingy and only fed on breastmilk, wanting to feed every 2 hrs.
So – he didnt want to go to anyone but me, and i couldnt leave him with anyone for any good length of time because he needed my boobies. I felt so isolated and like i was never going to be able to go anywhere, by myself, EVER AGAIN.

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Jacki July 5, 2010 at 12:11 pm

Oh boy, do I feel your pain! I've got a two year old and a ten month old and you're so right – now that the youngest is on solids everything takes so much longer. Keep your eyes on the prize – hopefully they'll be great friends as they get older… and you can sleep while they play together!

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Brenda July 5, 2010 at 10:45 am

Ugh! Poor baby. That is why I work on Saturdays. It's my escape!!

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Dazee Dreamer July 5, 2010 at 9:12 am

I sympathise with you. All I can say is, this too shall pass. Someday. I know, you hate to hear that. This is where a good husband comes in handy. Hopefully you have that kind of husband.

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Madmother July 5, 2010 at 12:00 pm

I am so glad both mine were pram sleepers! At 19 months apart I would have been in the same boat otherwise.
Oh, and as they get older it's: "I'm bored… Can we go home now?… I'm tired… This is boring…"

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Mrs Woog July 5, 2010 at 11:41 am

Had 2 under 3 now have 2 under 7. It does get easier and yet presents a whole new chapter of challenges. Like smartassness and eye-rolling. Something to look forward to hey! Chin Up Darling. Keep writing and we will keep nodding and smiling.
Much Love
Mrs Woog

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Holly Homemaker July 5, 2010 at 11:37 am

We have similar aged brats, oh I mean babies don't we? You know I'm totally feelin' you sister gal!

Except my Bump was one of the * babies and screamed and catnapped and has since dropped himself down to one sleep. It'd be awesomely blissful *if* my Toddlergirl hadn't of decided that she too would drop a sleep … Her only daysleep. Ugh.

Here's to things perking up abit for you xx

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Eva Gallant July 5, 2010 at 10:19 am

Been there, done that. It wasn't fun. It does get better, and I disagree….I do not miss that time.

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MMBB July 5, 2010 at 9:47 am

It's like looking into my own life. Except we don't do trips to the park, and I have 3 kids. My poor children, they never get to do anything lol

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Letters To Inanimate Objects- Dear Man. – RRSAHM

Letters To Inanimate Objects- Dear Man.

by Lori Dwyer on May 18, 2010 · 9 comments

It’s meme-y time! I’m not sure who started this one, but I’m pinching it from Wanderlust, who published it, like, ages ago. The basic idea- write a letter to an inanimate object. The most inanimate object we have in the Purple House is The Man. For reasons that I’m sure will become apparent as you scroll down.

Dear Man,


It has come to the attention of the Domestic Engineering Division (DED) of the Purple House that there are a number of chores on your Honey Do List* that are well past their Set Nagging Time Frame. Please find the list of chores, Set Nagging Time Frame,and any additional notes outlined below.

Re-affix screen to laundry window.
Set nagging Time Frame- Three years.

Wash outside of windows.
Set Nagging Time Frame- two and half years.
Additional notes- Management of the DED wishes to remind The Man that she was up on a ladder washing the inside of fore-mentioned windows at 38 weeks gestation with The Man’s first born. Notes indicate that at that time, The Man promised to wash the outside of fore-mentioned windows, at which point this job was entered into the Honey Do List. Our first born is now two and half years old.

Detail DED Managers car.
Set Nagging Time Frame- Approximately two years.

Replace Drive Belt on DED Managers Car.
Set Nagging Time Frame- Six months.
This chore was entered into the Honey Do List after the DED Manager’s car was serviced by LubeMobile. Entered into notes at the time was this- “LubeMobile mechanic wants to know why we have an engine hoist out the back but he is giving my car an overpriced grease and oil change. Answer- To teach the Man a very expensive lesson. When I say “Service my car or I’m calling Lube Mobile- I mean it.” 

The DED would also like to remind the Man, at this point, that it is the DED Manager’s car that does most of the shuttling of the The Man’s children. Whilst The DED’s Research Department has not as yet ascertained what a drive belt actually does, we do feel it may be necessary for the vehicles operation.

If the Man or one of his affiliates could please see to the above chores just as soon as it suits you to get off your bum at your earliest convenience, the DED would be much obliged. Failure to comply with this request may or may not result in the forfeit of physical satisfaction for an unspecified length of time.

 Yours Sincerely (like, very, very sincerely),
post signature
Manager, Domestic Engineering Division, Purple House.

* I unashamedly pinched the Honey Do list from Yankee Lori at Tiny Little Reveries. OK? OK.

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

lori May 22, 2010 at 11:10 am

Another one I missed! Oh man, if I posted the real, true honey do list that's been waiting since we moved into this house (7 years ago) I think hubby would get miffed. Hmmm, I just might brave it anyway!

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makemommygosomethingsomething May 18, 2010 at 1:11 pm

OH MAN!!! You have me cracking up…no pun ;)

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makemommygosomethingsomething May 18, 2010 at 1:11 pm

OH MAN!!! You have me cracking up…no pun ;)

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makemommygosomethingsomething May 18, 2010 at 1:10 pm

OH MAN!!! You have me cracking up…no pun ;)

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Amy xxoo May 18, 2010 at 8:02 am

ha ha – love it! Happily i can say my Man is not quite that delayed in getting his jobs done…. sometimes he even does mine for me!

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Lucy May 18, 2010 at 7:29 am

Hahhahah, this is hilarious…

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Wanderlust May 18, 2010 at 5:29 am

It appears The Man has the choice to either be inanimate or inintimate. Choose wisely Man.

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Kristy May 18, 2010 at 3:33 am

Hilarious! I like your interpretation of inanimate object!

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In Real Life May 18, 2010 at 3:32 am

Lori, you're so funny! I love your writing! Thank you for the giggle!

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