Monthly Archives: May 2016

It's time to leave the island… Lori – RRSAHM

It’s time to leave the island… Lori

by Lori Dwyer on August 17, 2010 · 15 comments

Or something,

You may have noticed, over there on the left, a new addition to the RRSAHM side bar, yes? A pretty, shiny trophy button thingie doovie. KidSpot have named me as one of their Top 50 Bloggers. Why? I have no idea. But I am never one to look an accolade in the terms and conditions, so I am more than happy to accept.

Here it is again. Everyone, make appreciative noises- Ooooh. Aaaaaaah.

It’s even better than a real life trophy because you can click on it. True. And it takes you to my KidSpot profile. And there, on the right, is a little button with a thumbs up. That’s how you vote for me. Click it. That’s the way.

You see, one of the 48 of the Top 50 bloggers who do not have a sponsorship with KidSpot (long story) are going to win a holiday to Dunk Island. Awesomeness. Check out their backyard.

That’s my kinda thing. I’m a luxury girl. Forget backpacking. Camping, I can deal with if I have to have to, and make a Pollyanna sunshine job of it. But a resort, in the sunshine? Feck yes. Please.

We’ve covered before I freaking hate flying. Dunk Island, I will fly for you. To you. Whatever.

So. Have I mentioned before the The Man and I haven’t had a proper honeymoon since we got married…? No….? Well, that’s true. Unless three days with a toddler counts as a honeymoon? I don’t think it does, really. At all.*

Now, I want you to weigh that up with how totally awesomeness your week-daily dose of RRSAHM is. And then try not to let that equation bother you too much, and for me anyway. OK? OK! Thank you. You guys rock hard.

* Don’t feel sorry for me, I’m not bitter about it, really. No.. wait.. that’s right, I am bitter about it So feel sorry for me. Sympathy votes are good votes, OK? OK.

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

lacochran’s evil twin August 21, 2010 at 7:45 am: Done! I hope my vote puts you over the top!

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Jodie at Mummy Mayhem August 18, 2010 at 3:49 pm: Congrats hon and good luck!

Gosh that pic is gorgeous. I can see myself there….

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Amy xxoo August 18, 2010 at 6:54 am: Congratu-ma-lations – consider my vote yours!

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CourtneyB August 18, 2010 at 4:05 pm: i voted too, ps (tried to double vote but it sussed me out)

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Kristy August 18, 2010 at 2:45 am: Wow! That's great!

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Cinda August 18, 2010 at 2:04 am: Congrats! That's the place for a belated honeymoon.

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A Daft Scots Lass August 17, 2010 at 10:12 pm: done. nothing wrong with self-promotion!

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The Frantic Mother. August 18, 2010 at 8:05 am: LOL I voted for you. I know what you mean about the honey moon. I was to pregnant to walk around easily much less fly. lol. Please follow my blog and Join in with my comment exchange program. Maybe have your followers and friends join in. Thanks!

http://theadviceofamadmother.blogspot.com/

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Brenda August 17, 2010 at 9:48 pm: Have already for yah, sweet thang. Good luck.xx

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Maxabella August 17, 2010 at 9:47 pm: Goo luck, Lori! I also have family allegiance to the Fibro (I know you're thinking 'how many sisters can that Fibro chick possibly have!?!') but I love your blog and wish you luck!

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MultipleMum August 17, 2010 at 9:30 pm: Top stuff Lori! Not sure if I can vote for more than one person? But I have to go the family allegiance on this one and vote for Life in a Pink Fibro, sorry. But I do LOVE your blog And you would so look fantastic on that beach on Dunk Island!

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beloved Mama August 18, 2010 at 4:54 am: voting for you now

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beloved Mama August 18, 2010 at 4:53 am: Awesome and congrats! BTW, My hubby and I never had a honeymoon either- shotgun wedding with 2 week old- I'm longing for the day!

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Eva Gallant August 18, 2010 at 1:40 am: congrats! you get my vote!

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Good Golly Miss Holly! August 17, 2010 at 8:30 pm: For you, I will vote lovely!

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Previous post: Guest post- My Heafy

Next post: The Black Dog.

Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Fuck You Too.

Stuff I Know About Blogging – RRSAHM

Stuff I Know About Blogging

by Lori Dwyer on February 6, 2012 · 26 comments

“She writes of love, death and herself.”

God Is A Blogger– Edenland

A while back I published this very tongue–in–cheek post; a solid attempt to not publish things I shouldn’t be writing about. Y’all loved it (thank you very much). But I did get a few emails in the aftermath, requesting an actual post by that title– ‘How To Be A Personal Blogger, Without Getting Too Personal’.

I’m not sure I’m the best person to ask about this one. But what I think I know, I’m happy to share. Enjoy… but like everything you read online, take it with a grain of salt. I think that’s lesson one.

Don’t publish when you’re angry. Notice I didn’t say “Don’t blog when you’re angry”? By all means, if you are pissed off, do some blogging. But keep it in your drafts folder. Wait at least 24 hours– until you’re not so pissed anymore– and then decide if you really want to hit publish.

If you wouldn’t be comfortable putting it on the side of a bus, don’t blog it. Wise words from a parenting forum I used to be a part of– whatever you write online has the potential to be seen as widely as an ad on the side of a city bus. Think of it as the equivalent of taking out a full page in your local newspaper. Because even if there aren’t that many people reading now, there may be, some time in the future.

And on that note, it’s like oil into water. Whatever you put online, stays there. you can delete it. But it may be cached, crawled, lifted or saved in a hundred different ways. I’ve always had the counter–argument to “what will your children think in ten years?!”– I’m not arrogant enough to actually think my blog will still be visible in ten years. The has to be a limit on the amount of crap that google caches. But… better to safe than sorry. It’s like oil into water– what you put into the World Wide Web is almost impossible to remove again.

Don’t assume no one will read it. A blogging mate of mine had a very sad situation a while back. She wrote a post, venting her frustrations about the behaviors of one of her friends. The friend in question ended up getting wind of this post and reading her blog. You can imagine what came next– it was painful for everyone involved. Nowhere on the Internet is a truly secret space.

Don’t be anonymous as an excuse to break the rules. I love anonymous bloggers– the best example being the awesome Glowless, who only outed herself in preparation for the first Aussie Blog Conference. So people would have some idea who the hell this hot Perth chick with the Wilma Flintstone fashion was.
Seriously, though, people blog anonymously for all kinds of reason– freedom of expression, the fun of being someone else, to protect the boundaries they’ve drawn. But remember anonymity doesn’t give you a license to be cruel, or disrespectful, of break the ’rules’ of personal blogging. Don’t write anything anonymously that you wouldn’t write as yourself. Because nothing stays a secret online for long. And what you say may just come back to haunt you.

Stand by what you write. And eat humble pie if you’re wrong. This wont be so much of a problem if you follow rule number two– don’t publish when you’re angry. And if you find yourself in the wrong, be prepared to admit it. Even bloggers are human.

Set your limits, and change them as you go. Some people use real names for themselves and others, some use aliases, some– like me– a bit of both. Some people are comfortable publishing photos of their kids, some are not. Some bloggers happily reveal their location, while others are more guarded.
None of us are right, or wrong– its all about comfort levels. As a public, personal blogger, you choose what you are and are not comfortable with. And that will change as you grow and learn. Run with it.

Decide what is your story to tell. Just because you heard it, or saw it, doesn’t mean it’s yours to write about. I know, I know– hypocrite much, considering the story I’ve told here? But believe it or not, I don’t blog about everything. There are things I don’t write, because they’re not mine to write about. And I’ve paid for what I’ve disclosed… I’m not sure I recommend it.

Watch your back. Or get a lawyer. If you think something could possibly get you into hot water; through slander, libel, misunderstanding or just someone holding a grudge– don’t publish it. Listen to your gut instinct… it’s usually right.

Be honest. Good blogging is good story telling, and the key to story telling is to omit some details and emphasize others. But don’t lie, outright, about yourself or the people you know. You will get found out, it will damage your credibility, and you will feel like shit.

Be prepared for potential fall out. Writing your life down on a public stream leaves you, if nothing else, open to judgement from many more people than if you kept it all under lock and unpublished key. People love to judge. Some of them make a hobby of it. Be prepared to be judged, talked about and occasionally dismissed. Be prepared for potential fallout, especially if you overstep the lines of other peoples privacy. If it happens– own it.

Decide what’s yours. And keep it. Not everything has to go on your blog, and never feel obligated to open up memories you’d rather keep to yourself. Some days you may just feel as if your soul is splashed all over the screen. Having stuff that is yours, and only yours, no matter how insignificant it may be; that’s a soothing saline dilution to the sting of over–sharing.

If it stops serving its purpose, stop doing it. We blog for fun, for therapy, for a hobby, an outlet, something creative to work our fingers at. We blog to share, to tell stories, to keep memories, to challenge viewpoints. We blog to bear witness to life as it passes.

Every blog has a purpose, and you know the purpose of yours. When it stops fulfilling that purpose, and you can’t mold it into something new… let it go. And move on.

A blog is only ever as good as the intention every post is written with.

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{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

Shellye February 9, 2012 at 9:17 pm: Great advice, Lori! Thanks for sharing!

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marketingtomilk February 8, 2012 at 6:12 am: wise wise post. all bloggers would do well to read this.

M2mx

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TAHNEE February 7, 2012 at 9:13 am: perfect advice! thanks for your wise words

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Baggage February 7, 2012 at 7:42 am: I just started back blogging again, and these are some great reminders. Thanks.

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Rhonda February 7, 2012 at 4:32 am: Thank you for publishing this. I often struggle with what to publish and what not to publish. But I am comfortable with my level and that's all that really matters. Thanks for helping me to see that.

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the worstest mommy February 7, 2012 at 3:59 am: Great advice, especially for new bloggers trying to find their voice!

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Glowless @ Where’s My Glow February 7, 2012 at 1:51 am: P.S. LOOOOVE that you remember my Wilma fashion Your dress was amazeballs

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Glowless @ Where’s My Glow February 7, 2012 at 1:50 am: Watch your back or get a lawyer… or ask someone who teaches defamation law really really nicely to proof read your post for you. I did that a few weeks ago just in case.
Spot on, chook xxx

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Melissa February 6, 2012 at 11:34 pm: Well said!

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Karen at MomAgain@40 February 6, 2012 at 11:02 pm: Good points! Thanks!

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Melissa February 6, 2012 at 10:51 pm: Perfect advice – thank you

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Claire February 6, 2012 at 9:43 pm: Great advice! Some of these I've learned the hard way, most I've avoided, but this is an ace 'how to'!

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Smaggle February 6, 2012 at 8:15 pm: Awesome. Completely.

I remember (years ago!) when a blogger posted about her boyfriend cheating on her and deleted it. It was then that I realised you can't unpublish on Google Reader. I had that post in my feed for WEEKS.

Just be careful.

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Miss Pink February 6, 2012 at 6:32 pm: I LOVE the anonymous tips. I think many anonymous bloggers miss that point.
I'm actually proud to say that everything I've written on this blog, I'm ok with people knowing. I live by the rule of don't speak/write it, no matter who to, if you wouldn't be ok with others finding out. It doesn't always mean I actually want to them to know right then, but if they did find out, well I can handle that.

I foten say on my blog, this is shit I just don't talk about to people in my real life, and I think people may take that in the wrong way. I don't talk about it because it's massively awkward and I'm not stupid, people don't want to talk about that shit, myself included, but it doesn't mean that I would be hugely pissed if they knew.

I am in awe of those who can sign their name/face to their blog. Really and truely, there are times where I'm like "Fuck this I'm gunna upload a picture of ALL of me, no disguises" and then 2 minutes later I'm like "Nah, I really can't".
Being anonymous for me is purely incidental and due to family circumstances which I have to respect and protect my children from. It just so happens that being anonymous lead to me posting that post about why I wouldn't go to the ABC, and then talking deeper about that side to me. I'm not afriad to sign my name to it, but I am afraid of what could arise if just a handful of people found my blog (for my children's sake), and so that is the only downfall to me blogging. The rest, I stand behind 100% and signing "Miss Pink" to it, has as much weight as if I signed my real name to it.

Personal blogging is just that, personal. You need to set yourself your own rules because lets face it, we are all writing on our own set of rules.
I agree about posting an angry post. My advice, is to sleep on it, re-read it in the morning, and then decide if you're really ok with posting it, if you could change or omit a few sentances and still post it, or if it just needs to be locked away.

I think that you need to write a post on how you keep coming up with so much to write about. I just can't zero in on the one idea long enough most the time that I know I am missing out on some fantastic stories. Ahh the troubled mind.

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Mum on the Run February 6, 2012 at 6:21 pm: Solid advice – for everyone negating the net.
I teach ten year olds and am trying to drum these realities into them before they learn the hard way.
x

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lori February 6, 2012 at 5:01 pm: Great advice. I struggle with that balance of writing the real truth without saying too much. Recently, actually. It's less painful to just be funny.

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Kristen February 6, 2012 at 4:11 pm: Hey Lori – Ok.. so weirder than weird – I wrote blogging rules today. And I wrote it when I was pissed off. "oops" – but – I didn't steal the idea from you… and they are more of online rules than blogging rules.

Once again – yours are better

Always a supporter… Kristen

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Dorothy Krajewski February 6, 2012 at 4:08 pm: I'm happy for my blog to be on the side of a bus, unless it has my name and photo splashed all over it and it drives around my neighbourhood.

But, if the bus was to pay me a shitload of money to publish every single details about my life, photo, name and all, hell, I'd say yes! I have a price…! A substantial one, but I still have a price…

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Sharon @ Pandamoanium February 6, 2012 at 3:54 pm: Another very timely post for me today. I just had to write a post on what my blog was and was not due to a very offensive attacking comment I got on an extremely personal, painful post.

In the end, you have to own what you write, be prepared to stand by it and shrug off the haters.

And don't publish anything libelous.

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The Babbling Bandit February 6, 2012 at 3:05 pm: Great post! Will definitely favourite this one so I can go back over these wise guidelines whenever I feel I maybe oversharing (which is often).

Thanks
V. The Babbling Bandit

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Good Golly Miss Holly! February 6, 2012 at 11:13 pm: I giggled reading this, timing is impeccible about today's installment of the in-law saga over here

I own every damn word I write and the fallout is beautiful – I feel like I am banging my head against a brickwall! x

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Lisa H February 6, 2012 at 12:11 pm: Lot's of great advice there Lori. You're a very wise woman

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edenland February 6, 2012 at 10:07 am: Oh, and what about a DEEPLY full-on post that years ago, someone anonymously published then retracted the next day? Tell me that's not cached – uh, a friend wants to know.

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edenland February 6, 2012 at 10:05 am: LOVE this post, very much. And I deeply laughed about the bus billboard. There's buses driving around the world with hugely inappropriate shit written all over them … whoops!

I owe you a thank-you. I clicked on your tongue-in-cheek post about How to be a Personal Blogger .. (without being too personal) because my god I needed to learn that. After a minute thinking, Lori has forgotten to attach her post! I got it.

Straight away I wrote a post called Compelling … you know those posts where you wake up the next morning thinking NOOOOOOOO!!

But I'm glad I did.

I'm so glad you blog, Lori. You are only thirty, man. I am a DECADE OLDER THAN YOU. And proud that we are peers.

XXXXXXX

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Kelloggsville February 6, 2012 at 10:03 am: Great advice. You mentioned caching. I've done posts on how to request cache removal for google and bing. Search the online privacy label at http://www.kelloggsdba.blogspot.com. I had an issue with wanting to clear out some overly personal stuff and found caching a problem. I wrote up how I sorted if out. I came to the conclusion if you werent prepared to write it on a banner and carry it around the local supermarket, don't blog it. Much like the bus ad.

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Me February 6, 2012 at 9:06 am: Thanks for this Lori – great guidelines to follow – especially #1 !

Have the best Monday possible.
Me

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Previous post: One In A Million

Next post: If Lucy Fell

Fan Me, Man. – RRSAHM

Fan Me, Man.

by Lori Dwyer on May 4, 2010 · 11 comments

Gesundheit,

Yep, I’m still a bit under the weather. But I’m doing the sensible thing today and posting one I had drafted. Clever, eh? Pity I didn’t think of that like, two days ago, rather than trying to write through the Fever. Whatever. Enjoy.

The observant amongst you may have noticed I have a compulsion sidebar shuffling tendency. I like to move things around, change my labels, add to my button collection (Am I missing anyone’s? Let me know). Pop quiz- I recently deleted a button, anyone notice? That was in protest. Protest against a certain site that runs challenges, then doesn’t announce the winners, then doesn’t respond to emails, and apparently doesn’t do winner’s tiles anymore. The name of the site in question may or may not rhyme with Frog Kiss. Anyone? Anyone at all? Jellybeans for you if you got it.

Anyway. Sorry, what was I talking about, before I got side tracked by being a bitch? Sidebar, buttons… ahh, that’s right, buttons. The observant RRSAHMer may have noticed I have a brand spanky shiny new one there on the right. It’s a FaceBook button. That’s right, a FaceBook button. RRSAHM has it’s very own fan page. I will include the link just on the not-so-off chance that the FaceBook button may actually be broken at the time I publish this. That would be embarrassing.

Please feel free to “Like” my page. Unfortunately, FaceBook has changed the rules (they seem to do that a lot, don’t they?), and you don’t “Become a Fan” anymore. The action of ‘Liking’ feels more ‘lightweight’, they tell me. And that’s good. Because I take Becoming a Fan on FaceBook so seriously. Especially when it comes to pages like Panicking when your finger gets stuck in something stupid.

Whatever. It does, however, make this DeMotivational poster much less amusing. Ah well.

Now, when I first created this page a couple of weeks ago, I sent out invites to all my one hundred and eighty something friends to join. It actually took me two days to figure out how to do that, but I persevered. And I was duly rewarded. About 45 of them actually joined up- yay! The rest, I’m assuming, either-

a) Don’t actually know who I am, but Friended to increase their friend count.

b) Hate me, but Friended to increase their friend count

c) Don’t check their requests anymore because they are so bloody sick of receiving virtual drinks, teddy bears and flowers, which just ticks you off because no one ever buys you stuff In Real Life.

I dunno. If I had sent an invite to myself, I wouldn’t be my own Fan. I fall firmly into the thrid category.

Whatever. The one person I did think would respond, go to the page, press my button, was The Man. I sent his invite. I waited, like a 15 year old listening for her mobile phone text alert. One day. Two days. Three. What is going on here? Time for Confrontation.

Me :”Hey, Man, did you join my FaceBook fan page?”
Him: “Uh, yeah?”
Me: “Uh, no.”
Him: “Oh. I musta deleted it or something. Send it again?”.

So I deign to resend the bloody thing to him. One day. Two days. Look, I’m not going to retype the whole last two paragraphs,so just use your imagination and pretend I’ve copied and pasted it here, OK? OK. Because we have exactly the same conversation over again.

And, again, I bow, genuflect, and resend the request.

And the outcome, I hear you ask, Constant Follower, waiting there with bated breath?

Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. Blah.

So, for today, my comments section is becoming a virtual petition. If you think the Man should join his wife’s FaceBook page, show his support, stand behind her (like a silent fart), then let your voice be heard. Leave a comment. Tell The Man- join. Or else. Your wife may just leave you for the Home Ice Cream man. Or the short guy from Top Gear.

Damn The Man. Save the page. (Well, not really. But doesn’t that just sound so cool?)

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Kylie May 5, 2010 at 1:26 pm: Join Man, join now!
BTW, love the demotivational poster!

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Mich May 5, 2010 at 11:18 am: if he doesnt join, slap him in the back of the head! a man must ALWAYS support his lady!

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Ro May 5, 2010 at 10:32 am: Phwoar…short guy from Top Gear….*drool*
Wha??? *blinks* Sorry, yes, yes certainly The Man should join.
Richard Hammond, short guy but hmmm….

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Thea May 5, 2010 at 10:16 am: Tell The Man he has to 'cause I said so!

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Tenielle May 5, 2010 at 9:03 am: MY husband's a fan of MY blog, and you don't want him to be better than you, do you, Mr The Man? Huh? MY husband even guest posts every now and then… But he's not very good at it, so don't stress about that.

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Sarah May 5, 2010 at 8:51 am: Uh oh Man, this is bad bad news. Lori & I might just have to get our ghosty friends & come get you, or was that our vampire friends? I dunno, who doesn't like garlic

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Wanderlust May 4, 2010 at 11:52 pm: You deleted Brenda's Flog This button? Man, is she ever going to be mad…

Oh and The Man? Needs a flogging.

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Nelle May 4, 2010 at 10:48 pm: Dear The Man,

If your wife leaves you for Richard Hammond (the short one), she may well be very happy (his wife not so much), but YOU will never hear the end of it from your friends. "ooh look, there's they guy whose wife left him for the short guy on Top Gear. The SHORT guy!"

You'd better just become a fan.

From Nelle (Say hi to Lori for me!)

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Kellyansapansa May 4, 2010 at 10:05 pm: Yep, the Man should join. I have!

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Ratz May 4, 2010 at 9:53 pm: Count me In!

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ezymay May 4, 2010 at 10:46 pm: Man should so join!!! I said so!!

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Previous post: Stupid Things Lori Does (When She Is Sick).

Next post: If I Had A Fetsh, It Would Be Shoes.

Spring Clean, Part Two- White Vinegar – RRSAHM

Spring Clean, Part Two- White Vinegar

by Lori Dwyer on October 1, 2012 · 5 comments

As per reader request– hiya, kristib-, I’m sharing my special secret passed down through the generations au naturel house cleaning recipes. (Kind of not really. Read ‘secret’ and ‘passed down through generations’ as ‘becoming more and more well known’ and ‘passed down through online parenting forums’ and that’s closer).

Allow me to begin this post with a disclaimer– I am a massive hypocrite. I’m aware of that. I’m a filthy smoker and I ingest more Coca–Cola than is probably good for a person. But, ya know, harm minimization is the point here. Or guilt minimization, whichever is more accurate.

But I make some attempt to replace a lot of the chemical cleaners and products in my house with slightly more natural– and far cheaper– alternatives.

There are a few products that clean pretty much everything and I’ve used since I was pregnant the first time round. Here’s a short shopping list…

White vinegar
Bi carb soda
Soluble lavender oil, tea tree solution, and eucalyptus oil.
(While these are more ‘natural’ than traditional chemical cleaners, the oils themselves can be toxic. Store and use them in the same manner you would regular cleaning products– carefully!)
Rags. Lotsa rags. Your old clothes, ripped up, will do just fine. I know packets of disposable waffle cloth things are really cheap, but they take resources to make… it seems a travesty to buy them wand throw out clothes too old to be worn, but not old to be cleaned with.

And that’s, really, about all you need. Apart from those products– and the rags, obviously– I really only ever buy dishwasher tablets (some people swear by replacing them with bicarb, but I just cannot get it to make things sparkle) and a bottle of Domestos every six months or so– as much as I like natural products, a splash of something bleach–based and nasty smelling does wonders for icky black mould build ups around taps and inevitable toilet smells. (Boy pee… what is it with boy pee…?)

White vinegar- the shizzle.

Vinegar breaks down grease and other solids. Bicarbonate removes smells and mixes with vinegar to remove heavier spills, bath rings, etc. Tea Tree solution is a natural antiseptic. Eucalyptus oil breaks down grease and creates shine, as well as disinfecting. Lavender is a relaxant and a natural anti histamine. And besides that, it smells gorgeous.

With those in place, there are a few basic recipes that I keep on hand– buy some plastic refillable spray bottles and fill with the following…

One part vinegar, one part water, three–five drops of eucalyptus oil, three drops of tea tree solution.
This is an all round cleaning solution, especially good for table tops, benches, etc.

Water, plus five drops lavender oil.
A ’sleep spray’ that I use when I change bed sheets. Has also been known to double as a ’monster–scaring’ spray to scare any monsters in cupboards away.

Water, plus five drops of each lavender, eucalyptus, teat tree oil.
Deodorizer and disinfectant. Especially good for a last spray when cleaning up cat vomit or milk spilt on the lounge.

Once you get your head around what each of the products does, you can apply them to pretty much anything that needs cleaning. I use white vinegar as a rinse aid in my dishwasher, and a two cups of white vinegar in an empty washing machine run on a hot water cycle will give all it’s insides a degrease. A cup of bi carb followed by a cup or three of white vinegar will solve a lot of minor drain blockages just by eating away the accumulated gunk, especially in bathroom drains where it’s often a mixture of dead skin cells, body oil and soap fats that clod shower drains and sinks.

Bi carbonate soda can be sprinkled over lounges, car seats, shoes, clothes– pretty much any soft furnishing– that needs refreshing or deodorizing. Just sprinkle on, stand back and admire the ‘it’s snowing inside!’ effect leave for an hour– or two or nine, depending on how much stench needs removing– then vacuum up again. (Erm… speaking from experience, do make sure your vacuum is of the powerful variety before you do this one. A ninety nine dollar, no suction job makes for gritty, icky lounge chairs and very unhappy flatmates.)

The oils are multipurpose and, using common sense, can also be applied to pretty much anything. I put a few drops of lavender oil in with my Big Spring Clean Wash and Wash and Wash. A capful of tea tree oil freshens up toilet bowl water in case of fussy guests. Wiping down benchtops with eucalyptus deters cats from jumping on them, ants from walking on them and germs from breeding on them.

Talcum powder is also an awesome ant deterrent, as is corn starch if you have no talc on hand. Corn starch also gets dusted around the garden of the Tiny Train House– it’s a chemical free way to stop ugly green caterpillars feasting on the tomato plants. Garlic gloves are spread equally liberally, to make potential strawberry–eating bugs wrinkle their noses in distaste and move on.

The worst place to clean in the house is always the bathroom– sometimes vinegar just doesn’t cut it. But microfiber clothes do amazing things and remove most things the vinegar and bicarbonate wont. Except the mould. And I refuse to put my hand in the really icky bits of a toilet bowl, even if it is covered in gloves and cloths. Which is where that love of good old fashioned hardcore Domestos comes in.

So… that’s that. Lori The Massive Hippy Hypocrite’s Almost Chemical Free House To Compliment Her Over–Polluted Body.

I’ve let a few questions from various readers pile up over the last few weeks, so it’s Question And Answer Week here on RRSAHM. Anything you want to know, ask away in the comments– if it’s something I’ve covered previously I’ll leave you a link to the post.

Think of it as Show And Tell…only not quite.

Happy Spring Cleaning, jellybeans.

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

kristib October 1, 2012 at 12:19 pm: Thank you so much! <3

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Carly Findlay October 1, 2012 at 11:03 am: Sheesh my grammar is bad. What is a good remedy for moths/silverside? I mean silverfish hahah!

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Carly Findlay October 1, 2012 at 11:02 am: Tell me Lori what a good remedy for moths / silverfish is?
I get holey clothes and I can't use chemicals. Thank you!

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Kimmie October 1, 2012 at 8:49 am: Large bags of soft clean recycled rags can be purchased ridiculously cheap at Bunnings. Located near their paint section methinks the sale of these supports certain charities. They are fabulous to have on hand for all manner of cleaning jobs and can then either be ditched or washed and reused.

I am hearing you re homemade dishwasher powder although recently a blog friend posted this recipe that is supposed to work well. Planning on giving it a whirl myself this week.

http://mrsbcshouseofchaos.blogspot.com.au/2012/09/homemade-dishwasher-powder.html

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Spagsy October 1, 2012 at 8:13 am: I also recommend the spotless books. You would dig the rolled oats in the end of panty hose stain ball. Trick.

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Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Falling Into Place

The Grampout- Part One. – RRSAHM

The Grampout- Part One.

by Lori Dwyer on March 19, 2014 · 17 comments

This post bought to you by Aerogard, Mortein & Nuffnang.

***

Apparently, there’s a whole new trend called ‘Gramping’. Not to be confused with ‘glamping’, which is also a thing. ‘Glamping’ is glam camping– roughing it with all the luxuries included. ‘Gramping’- which is what we’re discussing here- is camping with your kids…. and your parents.

I’m not sure why that sounds so terrifying. It shouldn’t, really. It’s all about spending tie together, bonding, and sharing experiences. And with my mum so very far away now, any shared experiences are good ones.

Gramping is such a thing that they even have its own representative body– the Gramping Association, sponsored by Aerogard and Mortein. For some reason, they decided to ask me to try out the whole experience of gramping and report back my findings. Maybe because they’ve read that post about how camping makes me feel like a better parent even when I’m yelling at my kids. Maybe because they know the Most Amazing Man is all kinds of crazy for the outdoors. Maybe I’ve blogged about my kid’s horrible mosquito bite allergy and how we should virtually own shares in Aerogard. Who knows?

Anyway. My mum (bless her) has quite happily agreed to forgo her regular weekend trip to Melbourne and meet us in sunny Cobram instead. She’s excited about the prospect of gramping- it’s been quite a while since she’s slept in a tent. We’ve promised her she need only bring herself and her sleeping bag, and we’ll supply the rest.

Packing and preparing to go gramping for the weekend takes just as long as the actual camping trip itself. Especially when you’re providing for small children, and extra people. We make lists, mentally working through all the possible scenarios to ensure we’re prepared for everything. Amidst the slight stress of packing, the excitement level is huge and we’re all very much looking forward to getting away from the city for a few days.

And we shop. An extra, smaller tent. Completely adorable matching camp chairs for the kids. Many, many, many groceries. The list of essentials includes ten litres of water, UNO cards, torches and batteries, wet wipes, antiseptic cream, butane, swimmers, towels, instant coffee, mini boxes of cereal, Barbies and phone chargers. And, of course, much mozzie spray. Aerogard sent us some of their Odourless Protection spray- which, to be honest, is what we use anyway. It doesn’t smell at all and doesn’t feel yucky and greasy on the kidlets skin, and lasts for hours. Mortein provided another essential in the form of their outdoor candle with natural citronella, which looks stylish enough for glamping and gramping and burns for 25 hours.

I’m anticipating much excitement from the kidlets on seeing their Nonna, many games of UNO, some bushwalking, campfire cooked meals, high energy levels from the two small people, and maybe even some relaxation time squeezed in.

I’ll let you know how we get on.

***

Sign up to the Gramping Association to receive gramping tips, events, giveaways and offers. You could WIN* one of seven Gramping Adventures for the whole family.

While we’re talking about winning stuff, I’ve got a stack of prizes for you guys to WIN, including….

4 x $100 Turu vouchers to give away
4 x “Gramping essentials” pack which includes Mortein and Aerogard products
4 x $250 Anaconda vouchers

To enter, leave me a comment telling me how and where you go camping, and how a Mortein and Aerogard pack would help you out with that. Entries close 6/04/2014. T’s and C’s can be found here.

*terms and conditions apply. Visit grampingassociation.com.au for full details.

Tagged as: camping, Gramping, kidlets, outdoorsy stuff

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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Tanya April 7, 2014 at 1:27 pm: I call our house “luxury camping” because we do have running water and a roof, however, the water is not heated and the roof leaks. But we do live right on the beach, closer to New Guinea than Australia but we are true queenslanders – the most northern northern Aussies. We rely on mortein as Dengue Fever is a real concern. Partner was struck down a few years ago and would hate to see any of our three tin lids experience that.
“Luxury camping” doesn’t extend to reliable internet connection, hence I’ve missed the cut off. Should have commented when I first read but wanted more time to write something readable. Damn, wouldn’t have been any worse than this disappointed dribble.

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Manda April 4, 2014 at 5:41 pm: Aha! I was wrong, turns out we actually are going camping. In my parents backyard for Easter. Bugbreath’s request. Also Pop and I are going to be sneaking around after he’s asleep making animal prints to test his tracking skills – he knows a few of them from bush walking, kangaroos and birds and dogs, so we’re going to lay down one bunny track and some non-bunny to distract him and see if he can find where the Easter Bunny has been. (Do you guys follow tracks when you go bush walking? I have to say my memory of animal signs from when I was little was mostly that it involved a lot of different sized poo.)
We are going to make damper and cook marshmallows. And I’m betting Nana secretly spends the night in her own comfy bed. But for the rest of us out taunting the tiny native biting wildlife, Mortein and Aerogard products much appreciated!

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Emma April 4, 2014 at 4:40 pm: How did the early settlers survive before Mortein??! Did they all walk round with massive itchy bites because someone left the Aerogard back on the first fleet? They did it tough back then but thankgod for Aerogard, God saved this queen when I am camped on the foreshore at Rainbow Beach and I have my Mortein handy. Seriously though I don’t know what I would do without the stuff when camping it makes life better :):)

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Emma April 4, 2014 at 4:36 pm: How did the early settlers survive before Mortein??! Did they all walk round with massive itchy bites because someone left the Aerogard back on the first fleet? They did it tough back then but thankgod for Aerogard, God saved this queen when I am camped on the foreshore at Rainbow Beach and I have my Mortein handy. Seriously though I don’t know what I would do without the stuff when camping it makes life better

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Danielle L April 3, 2014 at 1:38 pm: We go camping every year at Easter with my parents, this year to Corowa, and I am the person you want sitting next to you when the mozzies come out as they seem to always attack me first. It looks like my 4month old May has the same power of attraction so a Mortein and Aeroguard pack would help protect us both!

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sapna April 3, 2014 at 12:39 pm: we would love to go for camping in a Big4 holiday park on the great ocean road to enjoy the beautiful view, weather and lots of family fun. A Mortein and Aerogard pack will definitely save us from the painful mozzie bites and let us enjoy a lot during our camping trip without worrying about them..

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Leah March 31, 2014 at 7:30 pm: I love going camping. We like to go with either set of grandparents (not least because they have caravans… and fridges!) our last trip was to Araluen, an old gold mining spot. We hoped to pan for gold, but the creek was dry.
Leah recently posted…Making Everyday Easier – breakfast sorted!

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Mel C March 31, 2014 at 11:05 am: Before kids/hubby I used to go camping with friends. We went during winter to avoid the mozzie’s but always froze our butt off. Had the best time cooking sangs over a fire and blurry staring at the fire in the morning waiting for the silly kettle to boil.

Now with hubby and kids – well I would love to take them camping. The kids are keen as anything. The husband is not…had some very bad camping experiences through school.

But I am certain we will go and the way both the kids and I get eaten alive with mozzies – well the Mortein pack would remove one less complaint by my hubby

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Julia March 22, 2014 at 10:16 pm: We have only managed to go camping once with our little darling, we are about to head off on our second attempt in a few weeks. We are still dealing with scars from our first camp. It was with friends to Kakadu National Park around easter time last year; a sort-of comedy of errors. A monsoonal system moved in on the day we were driving there – most campgrounds were flooded so we stayed in a cabin in Jabiru for the first night. Fun enough! Day two we found a campground only half flooded, with the billabong at least 30 metres away from our camp – we were not being picky – it would do. Kids had a great time playing in the bush around the campsite – until our little cherub got bitten by a ‘hairy ant’ which turned out to be a spider. I freaked out but turned out not to be poisonous, just painful. When dusk and then night came we had a fierce fight with the mozzies despite wearing long sleeves and pants – i felt like a ‘bad mother’ when i saw my daughters legs and arms covered in bites! but thankfully we managed to get some quality sleep. Before the rain kicked in. Two words no camper should ever have to deal with: monsoonal downpour. I woke up around 3am with a migraine (yep) and had to tramp around in the bush outside to find somewhere to relieve my bowels (one of my lovely migraine symptoms) – the ground was soaking wet and squelchy. And I noticed that the billabong was getting closer to our campsite. We woke up in the morning with the billabong edge now about 8 metres away from our tents! Billabongs in Kakadu = saltwater crocodiles. I’ve never packed up a camp so quickly in my life. As we were driving home along the Kakadu highway we saw an enormous saltwater crocodile sitting quietly, jaws open, on the side of the road. I waved goodbye. Action packed weekend, for sure. Mortein and Aeroguard would surely have helped to ease the attack of the mozzies. One challenge less would have been appreciated! Is there an Aeroguard product to repel crocs?

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Bruce ( bruiser) Napper March 20, 2014 at 4:50 pm: Wow!!! gramping sounds like a great idea. I did it quiet a few of years ago when my grandkids were very young down at Narooma. Beautiful spot on the river. Havent had the chance to do it since then but sounds like something to plan again very soon as they are older now and would enoy it more. Aerogard is always handy and we have it in the glovebox of the car, beachbags etc. I also found out it removes ink on the vinyl interior of the car. it was suggested to me by a friend after a certain grandchild accidently ha ha, drew on the inside vinyl of the car doors. spray, leave and then scrub, vanished soon after.

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Jo March 20, 2014 at 10:46 am: I’m a fussy camper and only do it when it’s warm. But not too warm. Preferred place is on the Murray River up near Echuca. Aeroguard would be ever so helpful, mozzies seem to love me, but I really hate them. And their Ross River Virus.

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Kellie March 20, 2014 at 6:46 am: All our friends keep going camping and it’s something we don’t do often but really want to get into. I don’t know a heap about it, but know the kids would absolutely love it. I have one child that mosquitoes are attracted to and one that ants are attracted to. I’m sure the mortein and aeroguard would come in VERY handy.

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neilly March 19, 2014 at 11:12 pm: Take me to Sandbar anyday. Such a glorious place. But oh my goodness, the march flies and the mozzies- they only eat me! never the kids, never my partner. I end up complaining while they tease me for my itching!

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Alicia March 19, 2014 at 10:11 pm: I got some mozzie bites last Friday night down Anglesea way (caravan park) and they are still driving me crazy! So itchy and swollen. Seriously regretting the lack of repellent. Would love some!
Also this trip (long awaited catch up with friends from our 20s who are now parents in their 30s) we chickened out and got a cabin, so next time we are definitely tenting it – and we need to get all stocked up!

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Chelsea Robinson March 19, 2014 at 10:04 pm: Hi Lori, I take the kids camping/glamping every Xmas down at east beach kiama. We have been doing this for the past 9 years now and I will continue as long as the kids enjoy it. It’s our annual family time. It’s camping in style and we lie in our tents each night and blissfully fall asleep while listening to the waves crash on the beach. the aero guard and mortein would be great for the kids and I as we all get enormous welts from mozzie and ants bites.

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Mel G March 19, 2014 at 8:41 pm: Gramping sounds fantastic! My parents are in Wagga and I’m in Newcastle, so I love the idea of meeting halfway for some quality gramping time. Probably around Goulburn I think.

My hubby and kids are allergic to mozzie bites and Aeroguard and Mortein are the most effective products for keeping the little blighters away (the mozzies, not the kids lol). As for how we camp, it’s old school tents and sleeping bags all the way.

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Manda March 19, 2014 at 1:35 pm: lol, my parents have given up on camping. When Mum hit 50 she decided that sleeping on the ground (and getting back up off the ground) was silly business and she was having none of it.

We’re going prawning this week when we all head away. Nothing says fun times with dad like being thigh high in waders in the middle of a river at 2am. Do any of their products help when you’ve sprung a leak and can feel one foot slowly filling up with water?

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The Thing With Cats, Part Two. – RRSAHM

The Thing With Cats, Part Two.

by Lori Dwyer on January 23, 2013 · 2 comments

Someone commented on Twitter a few days ago that, just perhaps, TinyTrainTown is very bad juju for cats. The TinyTrainHouse, in particular.

I’m thinking they may have a point.

I guess the easiest way to break this is to say I have both good news, and bad news.

Let’s begin with the good news, shall we…?

You may remember George, bless his little white socks. Just a week or two after losing George– still unable to tell my children the truth, as I still am now, unsure of what good thatt kind of honesty could possibly do– I got one of the most awesome, bizarre, uncannily coincidental emails.

Another one of those coincidental things that happened so perfectly, it doesn’t feel like a coincidence, not really. Not at all.

This email came from a reader of my blog and fellow resident of TinyTrainTown. I think we’ll call her WonderWoman. WonderWoman originally commented on my BookFace page, saying that her family had actually adopted George’s brother from the TinyTrainTown vet a week or so before we took George home. George’s brother’s name was Floyd… and he wasn’t getting on with her older, nearly geriatric other cat at all.

I know, I know… I believe I did, at one point, say ‘no more cats!’ But really- when the Universe offers to fix a problem so practically, so perfectly… why on earth would you say ‘no’?

I didn’t. I said a silent thank you to Whoever’s In Charge and emailed WonderWoman straight back to tell her that, if she ever needed to re–home Floyd, we would be more than happy to take him in.

And WonderWoman, being awesome, allowed us to do just that.

So that’s how it came to happen that the myself, the Chop, and one more than slightly confused Bump found ourselves at WonderWoman’s house. And returned home with Floyd. Who is the very spitting image of his late brother George, except for the teeny white socks on George’s paws.

Floyd.

WonderWoman is a mum herself and has a handful of WonderKids– to be honest, between her kids and my kids and the running and the yelling I have forgotten how many WonderKids there were. But the oldest WonderKid… I think I’ll remember her forever. Her name is Chloe, and she’s just… beautiful. A tween–aged eleven year old, she was pretty and smart and caring and honest and if my Bump grows up to be anything like her, I will be a very happy mum indeed.

Chloe was Floyd’s rightful owner, and, being the very mature young person she is, she made the decision to allow him to come and live with us and see if her family’s other cat– and Floyd himself– would be happier living apart. There were a few tears shed, and I promised Chloe I would give her baby lots of love, cuddles, good food and a human to annoy in bed every single night.

Floyd and the Chop

I’m pleased to report to Chloe- and to you, jellybeans- that Floyd is well and truly settled in here. He and DimSum the Godfather are quite good mates– DimSum, while old and crotchety, missed his mate George badly, and is patient and tolerant of even the most annoying of kittens.

Which is a good thing. Because Floyd is the very cat–devil himself. He pounces on unsuspecting soft fleshy feet from behind corners, claws at lounges, slinks in to steal food from your plate when you’re not looking, and uses Dimsum’s long, flicking tail as a plaything.

And we all very, very much adore him.

I don’t know quite how to thank WonderWoman and her family enough for the gift they’ve given us. Floyd fits in so well, it’s like he’s been here all along.

In fact, if you ask the Bump, you would think he has been here all along. Poor child is thoroughly confused by the whole cat-swap, and has to be corrected every time she refers to Floyd as ‘Georgie Peorgie’ (But having said that, I also have to correct her every single time she picks up a banksia seed pod and brings it to me saying “Look mummy, a money bank!!”)

***

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have seen me lamenting and whinging a few days ago about my cat being missing. On returning from Melbourne, I discovered my house sitter had lost both his sense of sanity and proprietary over the weekend and left the TinyTrainHouse mostly un–sat. Mailbox full, plants un–watered… ‘other’ cat (that’d be DimSum) missing.

I’m so ridiculously accustomed to losing pets, I assumed DimSum was dead. Don’t think I’m just being macabre– he’s twelve years old, and the temperature here hit 48 degrees Celsius (that’s 118 degrees in American) on Friday while I was in Melbourne.

And besides that… there’s that horrible, pitch dark road.

My mum did a quick scan of my yard and a slow drive-by of the Very Dangerous Road. No black, fluffy carcass. Which was nice. But in the back of my mind, I was waiting for a skinny, pitiful, ragged creature to drag himself back home to die, the way Tigger had done years ago.

Which was why it was such a huge relief to hear his familiar loud “Mauuuuu!!!” and the reassuring thump of his bulk climbing the lattice at the front steps.

DimSum

He refuses to divulge details on where he’s been, or what he’s been up to. He was a bit hungry and a bit thirsty but other than that, no worse off for his adventure. Whatever that adventure was. And he’s resumed his usual position of laying like a huge big fluffy lump on the cool concrete of the backyard, with next doors cat’s occasional sitting a respectful distance away from him on either side, like minions or hand-servants or hench–cats or something.

***

For the reader who asked the (very reasonable) question of whether my vet would like DimSum to lose a bit of weight, if he’s unhealthy heavy. The answer is, believe it or not- no. He’s actually quite skinny, and getting skinnier as he ages.

He’s just… big.

Tagged as: bump, chop, Crazy Cat Lady Chronicles, Life But Not As We Know It, pets, stationhouse, stuff that makes me happy, tinytraintown, when people are awesome

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

WoahMolly January 23, 2013 at 9:08 am: Cats, man. Cats. Bloody things. It’s like they exist to drive humans crazy, but we can’t shake them. The more naughty my cat is, the more I adore her. It’s like she’s woven some kidn of dark magic round me…

But I’m so glad to hear that Dim Sum came home. Phew!

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WonderWoman January 23, 2013 at 8:25 am: You are more than welcome Lori. I cannot wait to show this to Chloe when she returns from her grandparents this weekend. She would even be a little proud to be mistaken as an 11 year old even though she is 9 going on 19 :/

Much love.
W xx

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November 2011 – RRSAHM

November 2011

Purple Happy Stuff- The Story Behind the Before

by Lori Dwyer on November 30, 2011 · 22 comments

“By the way, how long did it take you and Tony to find each other?
Tell us your story.”

The lovely and gracious Mrs C, who I’ve blogged about before, asked me this question a month ago now, and I’ve been meaning to answer ever since.

Why of course, Mrs C, I’ll tell you our story, and I’d say that it’s for no other reason than to have it written here for my children… but if I’m honest, it’s simply my pleasure; to lose myself in the memeory of something sweet. The only problem is it’s painful once it’s over, coming out the other side… sometimes memories fit like warm gloves, and the cold when you take them off again is unbearable.. it feels like frostbite.

I’ve written before, kind of briefly, about how we met, and ironically I ended that post with “And we all lived happily ever after.”

If only I’d known.

Tony and I, we met in a collision of perfect timing. I was newly single. He was over being single. And both of us were looking for That Person.

Romance is lovely, the sweet peaches feeling of falling in love is even better. But a long term relationship- a marriage, I guess- is built on more than that. Respect, commitment, a desire to make this work… I think anyone who’s celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary will happily tell you that. Marriage is hard work, and you have to be in it from the beginning.

And both of us were.

We discussed this many times… we were both looking for That Person, the one who was stable, fun, bright, who kept us interested… and who felt secure enough, real enough, tangible enough to begin to build a life with.

Our ‘we bought a Purple House!’ photo

I guess it wasn’t so much that we begin a relationship, and then gradually saw our lives together fold out from that. We began our relationship with the unspoken intent of getting married, staying together, having kids. Building up a lovely little suburban life.

Which, of course, was what we did.

Mrs C asked me how long it took to find each other. I don’t know how long Tony had been actively looking…. but I’d been waiting for him for years. Getting married, having babies… that was on my bucket list, remember? I was just looking for the perfect bloke to do it with. And Tony was looking for a girl, different to all the ones in the area he lived; a girl to settle down with. And he told me later, in hindsight, that the second he saw me he thought “I could marry this girl.”

So, for my babies, who may read this one day and see it in grainy tones like old holiday photos, I guess these are the things you should know. The things that mean nothing at all… but tiny threads weave magic into the fibre of healthy relationships.

The first time I met your father, I was wearing brown cargo pants and a pink singlet top; and he amazed six months later when I asked him, and he remembered.

And on our first date, your father borrowed his best mates car, because he was so afraid his would break down and leave us stranded on the side of the road. And the first time we kissed was in the front seat of that car, before the evening had really started, nerves making him kiss me far quicker and less romantically than I would have wished.

Your father, he asked me to go bowling for our first date, and I laughed at him- that would have been far too embarrassing, bowling in front of someone I barely knew. Instead we ended up at a restaurant in Leichardt, me too nervous to eat, teasing him about having ‘bad coffee etiquette’ because he licked the froth off his spoon, and he remembered that too, and mentioned it only weeks before he died.

We went out for the first time on a Wednesday, and weren’t supposed to see each other until Saturday, but just couldn’t stay apart. And- embarrassing as this may be for you to read, I’m putting it in anyway- it took until Saturday night, four dates, for us to all in to bed together, nearly biting chunks from each other’s skin in an effort to get closer.

Two weeks after we got together, I had my wisdom teeth out and was in pain for days. Your father bought me a pink teddy bear carrying a love heart under it’s arm, and it reminded me so much of him… carrying his heart and soul under his arm, unprotected and prepared to lay it out in front of me. I wish I had kept it- the teddybear, I mean, the heart and soul I still have.

The first Christmas we spent together- just a year before the first of you was born- we drove all the way to Cowra, slept in a tiny, freezing house; and came home with a kitten we named Diddy that ran away two weeks later.

One night, after we’d been together about three weeks, I turned to your father and whispered to him in the dark “Do you love me?” and the answer that came back was “Can’t you tell by the way I hold you, that I do?” I know, because I wrote it down in my diary, but your father, he never remembered that one.

When we moved into our Purple House, we were as happy as two people have ever been.

And that’s the most important thing to know… no matter what happened before, or what came after, we were, at so many points, two very, very happy people. And you are the direct product of that happiness.

Love is, as they say, a many splendoured thing… but it’s not always grand. Sometimes, the best bits of love stories… they’re the average bits. The everyday bits. The little bits of ordinary that happiness turns into magic.

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{ 22 comments }

The Christmas Cloth GiveAway

by Lori Dwyer on November 29, 2011 · 26 comments

Those of you live in Sydney will know, it rained all last week.

I’m not even exaggerating. It rained all week, bucketing down steadily, soaking the earth, the last of the November Spring rains…. maybe the last big nourishment before a parching summer.

It rained so much that the underneath of house flooded, and i discovered what I previously thought was a ‘drain’ was actually a bucket hole cut into the concrete- the perfect size to submerge a plastic ten litre and scoop the water out. Close to 140 litres in all.

Laundry sits piled around my house in various stages of decomposition, smelly and slightly damp. It’s the weekend before I finally get around to washing, piling my Hills Hoist with as much damp cloth as it will take, let the wind whip the mustiness away.

I love the washing. Odd, I know, but it’s lovely to wash stains away, care for different fabrics and make them last as long as I can. I work actively to reduce chemical usage and waste, and I feel like I am doing something practical for the planet, tiny as it may be.

And all that is intensified, times thousands, when the load of washing is question is a load of cloth nappies (diapers, whatever). I’ve blogged quite a bit about cloth nappies before. I’m just reiterating, really.

There is no sense of smug satisfaction that compares to the smug satisfaction of pulling in a load of crisp, sun dried cloth nappies.

Forget the environmental and health benefits. It’s that awful-but-lovely smug satisfaction that keeps me going.

***

Which brings me to the really cool part of this post- the giveaway!!

You may remember I was sponsored to attend the ProBlogger Training Day by the awesome people from Rascal Rumps. You can find them here on Twitter, and also on FaceBook. They are an Aussie cloth nappy store with beautiful stock and very reasonable prices. And they have decided to let you all in on the cloth fun with a Christmas Cloth Giveaway, here at RRSAHM.

Up for grabs we have a large Fattycake AI2 made by Leah from Fluff E Stuff. The sizing is 10-18kg, and the RRP is AU$45.

And it just looks delicious.

OK, jellybeans… entry is simple and open to everyone, including those of you outside Australia- in the case of an overseas winner, full postage must be paid, to be organised with Rascal Rumps following the draw..

Simply visit the Rascal Rumps site and have a browse. Then leave a comment here, on this post, telling us which product you would choose to stuff your Xmas stocking.

Answer that most amuses or confuses our judges- Lee and Erin from Rascal Rumps– wins. Bonus points for creativity.

Entries close midnight, AEST, on Friday the 2nd of December.

Winner will be announced via FB, Twitter and this blog soon after.

The winner will be emailed by myself or Rascal Rumps soon after the draw is finalised. They have 48 hours to respond to this email, or the prize will be redrawn.

For your entry to be valid, you must leave a valid email address with your comment.

The judge’s decision is final and no discussion will be entered into.

I think that’s it. Go, browse, drool, my lovelies. Leave comments and hope Santa’s elves are very, very nice to you.

This post also marks the beginning of Xmas here at RRSAHM.

Humbug.

I’ll catch y’all tomorrow.

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{ 26 comments }

Blogging Myself Back To Whole

by Lori Dwyer on November 28, 2011 · 26 comments

“And with that first brave, crooked line, she literally began to draw herself back into existence.”

Stephen King, Duma Key

***

I feel as if I have blogged the life back into myself. Written air back into my lungs and some kind of smile back on my face. Discovered myself an existence again, somehow kept myself attached to the essence of who I am, through all of this that’s happened.

I know, if you’ve been reading for a while, since the Before, you’ve watched it happen… watched the insides of me gasp for breath, then taking gulping sips of it, and sometimes it’s whooshes air in and out of my soul.

In the Before, this blog felt like a patchwork artwork of stories and writing and in-jokes and social networking, of photos and clips and links.

I remember sitting down to write that horrible post, in a friends lounge room, staring at the computer screen. It was a Thursday night, and my husband was lying unconscious in a bed in the ICU twenty kilometers away.

I used to run a meme on a Friday called FlogYoBlog.. it lives at Glow’s place now, if you’re interested. In fact, that’s what I was about to do, when Tony came home that afternoon and every shade of hell broke loose… I was just going to write a blog post. That’s all I had planned for my afternoon.

It occurred to me, sitting at the computer on that Thursday afternoon, that I could lie. Simply post FlogYoBlog as if nothing had happened, as if everything was normal… there were people In Real Life who were pushing for that, telling no one ‘until we knew for sure’, whether Tony would live or die.

It would have been so easy. Connections online, they can be so fleeting. Post FlogYoBlog, hit publish on the five or so posts I had in drafts folder sporadically over the next two weeks or so, then just stop blogging. A few people may have wondered where I was… but people disappear online all the time. The find other hobbies, different things to do.

I could have told no one what happened, except those flesh and blood Real Life people who would have found out anyway.

But that would have just been the beginning. That would have marked this as something to be ashamed of, a truth to slink from. There is no shame in this.

And so, I blogged. And I watched from behind a foggy wall of trauma of grief as my blog became an outlet for pain, and little more. Bleeding words all over the keyboard in a desperate attempt to get them out of my head. Obviously, all the things that embellish a blog- those pictures, links and what not- they disappeared from my posts, and it became little more than a continual expression of conscious, painful thought, that I can’t even read again now, and don’t remember writing.

But the colour is, slowly, coming back. I find myself taking photos, spending more time online, proof reading and spell checking.

It feels as if I’m blogging myself back into existence. Taking sustenance from what I get here; but also using it as emotional barometer. I can write about things other than the pain now. I can take the time to reread things without them biting them too hard. This has become a little more like art again, a little less like therapy.

It’s a good place to be.

***

The blogosphere is a pretty good place to be this week.

I’m proud to be linking this post up my lovely Tune Into Radio Carly’s blog hop for International Day of People With Disability.

It’s a UN sanctioned day to promote the dignity, health- both psychical and mental, well being and rights of people with disabilities… the kind we can see, and the kind we can’t.

Any of that aside, I’m just proud to call Carly a mate of mine. She has awesome boobs and an infectious laugh. She is brave, strong, outspoken, calls a spade a shovel, and she knows, even more than I do, what it’s like to have people be afraid of her. And she stares that in the face with grace, dignity and total kick arse-ed-ness.

And it’s her 30th birthday this weekend.

Happy birthday Carly. I hope every wish you have comes true.

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← Previous Entries

Random Ramblings of a SAHM: The Crappest GiveAway Ever (really, this time)

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Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Falling Into Place

Guest Post Resilience 101 – How to fall, and get up again…. – RRSAHM

Guest Post Resilience 101 – How to fall, and get up again….

by Lori Dwyer on November 17, 2011 · 20 comments

It has been a while since someone else took the wheel at RRSAHM for the day- I’m honoured to hand the place over to my lovely mate Kristin from Wanderlust. She rocks. You will soon see why.

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Resilience 101 – how to fall, and get up again, and fall, and get up again…

My name is Kristin and I write at Wanderlust. I may already be acquainted with many of you. I first met Lori (in the virtual sense) about 18 months ago when our respective lives were pretty cool. We were both new bloggers. We both had an insatiable need to write, write, write. We shared a similar warped humor. We held the future in the palms of our hands. All was good.

Then one day my life exploded in a big way. Just completely, monumentally, utterly exploded. A few months later Lori’s life fell apart. Completely, utterly, and monumentally. All either of us knew to do in the dark and haunted months that followed was to write.

Just. Keep. Writing.

Expression was like oxygen. Breathe in, breathe out. It was all we could do.

A year(ish) later we’re still here, still writing, healing little by little.

We had the opportunity to meet in person in Sydney this past March and shared the world’s longest hug ever caught on film. The Australian blogging community brought me to Sydney, from Kansas, because they are generous and amazing. I will never forget what they did for me. Lori and I, we were there at the conference, our bodies carrying us through the day, our voices chatting with friends, but on the inside we were MIA. You could tell.

We saw each other again last month in Melbourne. We laughed, we took silly pictures, we told inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times during the conference sessions. This time we were more grounded and present. Getting there, at least.

So you don’t have to go read through 20 blog posts, I’m going to condense my story for you here.

In August of 2010, while negotiating a divorce, I was assaulted in my home by my husband while our children cried downstairs. I was shocked and not shocked. It had been a long time coming.

Two weeks later I discovered a cache of horror porn in his home office. Pictures of dead women, crime scene photos. Hundreds upon hundreds of dead women, pictures taken for the sexual pleasure of men. I was truly shocked at this point, and very afraid.

The next day three officers showed up at the house with a search warrant and confiscated his computer. I asked them what they were looking for. They told me child pornography. I didn’t believe them. I thought maybe there had been some teen pictures they had found. I had lived with this man for ten years. How could I not know?

But it wasn’t teenagers. It was young children. An investigator testified recently that on an initial scan of his computer they found 18,000 images of child porn.

Eighteen fucking thousand.

Can you wrap your head around that? I couldn’t. I still can’t.

For over a year now I have lived in fear of my husband. His investigation is still open. He’s still free. But what will he do when he is charged, when he has nothing left to lose?

There is more of my story here, if you wish to read it.

What am I getting at? Why am I sharing this with you? Because I believe that the reason Lori and I are doing okay(ish) today, despite everything that has happened in our respective worlds, is because we spoke out. We cried, swore, hoped against hope, railed at the injustice of it all, resigned ourselves, laughed and cried some more. We looked our lot full in the face without blinking and expressed what was happening to us on the inside.

We told our truths.

Some people didn’t like that. Fuck ‘em, we thought. This isn’t about them. Most people were hugely supportive.

Lori made purple wrist bands that said, ‘Speak’. She gave me one in Melbourne. I love it. Six months ago I began dreaming about a social media awareness campaign for domestic violence. Last month, together with Blogcatalog, I launched the ‘Speak Out’ campaign. Fine minds think alike.

Do you see that yellow badge on Lori’s left sidebar? The kind of dodgy one that looks like it was made by someone mediocre graphic skills (me)? ‘I’m speaking out on Nov 18th’? That’s what’s she’s on about. On Friday, November 18th, hundreds, perhaps thousands of social networkers will blog, tweet or otherwise share the message that domestic violence is something we need to talk about.

We need to talk about it openly because expression heals. Expression empowers us and saves us and shows us the path leading out of hell. Expression allows us to remember who we are, because we are, all of us, strong and courageous and loving, despite what the world may have told us.

You can join us and sign on yourself by going here.

I’m still living my ordeal. I don’t know what the ending will look like (though I’m banking on the fact that it will include a move to Australia – are you listening Universe?). In the mean time, however, I’m going to keep speaking out.

I hope you will join us on November 18th.

And Lori? I love you and think you are amazing. You are the very essence of resilience.

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Leave a Comment

{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous November 21, 2011 at 10:11 pm: You two are the most wonderful of women, a true inspiration and I thank you both for the voice you give those of us who cannot speak. Kristin, I cannot express how much you have helped me by sharing my story..the support it brought in the comments has helped me through so many incredibly dark days.

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Jenn November 18, 2011 at 10:59 pm: Thanks for sharing your story–I'm glad you've spoken out and I hope it encourages others to speak up as well. Thank you for taking on this campaign–I'm glad I could share my post among the others in the linky pool.

Cheers, Jenn

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Very Bored in Catalunya November 18, 2011 at 9:56 pm: Thank you for setting up this whole campaign and for giving a voice to women the world over who've suffered domestic violence. xx

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MaidInAustralia November 18, 2011 at 7:44 pm: Love you both. You know that right? xo

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a field of dreams November 18, 2011 at 5:07 pm: Thank you for sharing your story and speaking out. Thank you for this campaign. I've made it a mission to comment on every single blog post on the link!

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Annabellz November 18, 2011 at 12:41 pm: Wow! You both are totally amazing. I often wish I could do the blog writing about my own experiences but I simply work on the honesty and openness in my own non-cyber world. Thank you for your bravery and honesty.

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Claire November 17, 2011 at 11:25 pm: Oh my goodness, you poor thing to have to go through all of this. I am very proud of you and Lori for the honesty you bring to the page.

Cxx

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Melissa November 17, 2011 at 10:43 pm: Wow. Two truly amazing women with such profound strength and heart. It's a privilege to read your words and support you both.

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georgi November 17, 2011 at 10:36 pm: expression so does heal. letting yourself feel … and i haven't seen your blog yet but i know lori's space a little where she does exactly that.

speak. thank you so much. x

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Canadian in Glasgow November 17, 2011 at 10:31 pm: ZOMG….I feel for both of you in such different ways.

Outrage…I didn't even know there were different KINDS of outrage. But apparently there are.

Just…stay safe. Please.

And…another blog to read. *Silver Lining…I found it*

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Miss Pink November 17, 2011 at 5:30 pm: I both love and hate that you both have one another through this.
I know it's silly to hear it when people say that you are "brave" for speaking about this stuff. Not everyone can. It's brave because you are connecting to more people than even they will speak up and let you know.
Thank you both for all that you do.

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Wanderlust November 17, 2011 at 2:57 pm: Thanks for the lovely comments. And thanks Lori, for letting me tell my story on your site. It's an honor.

@Shelley – I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I can't even imagine. My heart goes out to you. xo

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Lorraine November 17, 2011 at 2:52 pm: Beautiful post Kristin – and very true words.

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Kellie November 17, 2011 at 2:02 pm: You two are both just amazing. Inspirational. Strong.

And I love you both x

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pinktutu72 November 17, 2011 at 12:54 pm: I've not been to your blog, Kristen, but I plan on checking it out. You and Lori are some pretty brave chicks. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope things work out for you
Karlene

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kirri November 17, 2011 at 12:35 pm: People who soar are those who refuse to sit back, sigh and wish things would change. They neither complain of their lot nor passively dream of some distant ship coming in. Rather, they visualize in their minds that they are not quitters; they will not allow life's circumstances to push them down and hold them under ~Charles Swindoll

You two are so brave and yes, most def resilient.
Keep speaking out and keep shining x

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Samantha Mawdsley November 17, 2011 at 11:37 am: There are some amazing people in the world and the both of you are two of them! Your bravery, honesty and resilience is so truly inspiring! xx

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Me November 17, 2011 at 8:59 am: I cannot begin to understand what the two of you have been through and send lots of love, hugs and positive energy to both of you – for all the you have done and all that you are doing.
Me

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Shelley November 17, 2011 at 9:51 am: Thats a shocking thing to be going through. Ive never read your blog but after reading this post will You are very brave as is Lori. Big hugs to both of you. I know a thing or two about resilience as im going through my own loss and grief (my daughter). Writing about it helps Xx

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Madmother November 17, 2011 at 8:53 am: You are both two of my favourite cyber people and I so hope to meet you in Melbourne next year.

I have been here since the early days, watching, reading, crying and cheering you on as you fight your way free.

Amazing women; incredible, honest, brave, amazing women. xx

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