Stop! Do not hit your back button. I promise, you are are in the right place.

It’s just that I have had a makeover. And not just any makeover. A makeover done specially for me by the very lovely Fairy Sarie over at Just Me.

For those of you who are not already huuuge fans of Sarah’s, she is a Super Mummy- Internet guru, cake decorator extraordinaire, brilliant photographer, loving mother, forum moderator, part time worker, avatar genius, Repressed Clown and all round beautiful soul. Phew, makes me exhausted just thinking about it.

So a huge thank you to the lovely Sarah, whom I love very muchly. And check out how clever she is!! Even if I do say so myself, the new me looks amazing *wolf whistles*

I gots a signature, some cool fonts, pretty piccies and a rather appropriate colour scheme called ‘Sweet Tart”. That’s me.

And, the piece de resistance- my brand new button, over on the left there. Scroll down a bit. There you go. Go, on, grab it. You know you want to.

So, what do you think…? Am I gorgeous, or what?

Proudly pinched from MummyTime, who stole it off The Bloggess

Howzat,

I have a friend named Kristin. A lot of you probably know her, and most likely you call her your friend as well.

Kristin writes at Wanderlust.

She has been through so much in the last twelve months of her life. I won’t go into it here- it’s not my story to tell. If your read Wanderlust, you will already know what has happened. If you don’t- and you should- you can do your research there. Because Kristin, this amazing, astonishing woman, has been brave enough to speak out against what has happened. To make hers a voice, where so many woman have none. Where so many women stay silent.

Kristin writes about things, sometimes, that we don’t even want to think about.

And yet she writes in such way that you can’t help but read.

Spellbound.

For months now, I’ve been emailing my friend Kristin. Every time I write her, I say “Are you OK?” or “How are you doing?”.

And every time, I feel the solid frustration of being so far away from someone I care about. For my words having such little effect, stones thwacking onto packed dirt instead of plopping satisfyingly into a pond of empathetic water.

Words, for pain such as this, are a thoroughly useless thing. Words on a screen. They are no balm for this kind of grief.

Have you ever watched that movie, the Princess Bride? Where every time the servant said “As you wish”, he was really saying that he would die for her, follow her, love her for all eternity?

Don’t panic, Kristin. We’re not going quite that far.

But every time I write to you, “Are you OK?” or “How are you doing?”, those cliched, useless platitudes, I mean them, in a way most people don’t mean words like those, when they slip them into small talk, weave them into the tepid conversations of everyday life.

Every time I say those things, this is what I mean- I am thinking of you, praying for you (in my own unique kind of way), sending you strength and loving, happy vibes. I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure this.

I’m amazed at what a honest, brave, compassionate, strong woman you are.

I just adore your integrity, damn it.

I’m in awe of the way you just keep going, just keep fighting on.

Keep fighting, K. Hang on in there. We’re all behind you, pulling for you, every step of the way.

It astonishes me how someone I’ve never met, who’s voice I do not know, can be so very important to me. But Kristin is important to me. And, as I said, she’s probably very important to a lot of you out there too.

I’m so glad you’re coming to Australia, Kristin.

For lack of a more poetic phrase- I just cannot wait to meet you.

Auld lang syne (I freaking hate that song),

Well, Blog Floggers, this is the very last FlogYoBlog Friday for it’s inaugral year, anni dominni 2010. Or something. Started by HRH MummyTime quite a few months ago now, FlogYoBlog Friday has grown from relatively modest beginnings to a massive linky list of like-minded bloggers.

Then MummyTime passed FlogYoBlog onto RRSAHM. And the whole thing went to crap from there.

Seriously, though, if you are new here, you can check out all the technical instructions here. And welcome. FlogYoBlog is the biggest non-specific Aussie blog hop- you can link up anything you like. The linky list is populated with a cast of truly awesome bloggers. The only rule anyone pays any attention to is to spread the love. (That’d be Rule Number Five, for those of you playing at home.)

And, yeeeeeessss, I know it’s New Years Eve. Happy New Years!! I will be home by 9pm tonight. Like the total loser responsible parent I am. And I’m running FlogYoBlog Friday for all of you who are doing the same.

And, that’s it. It’s been a good year, yes? 2011 will be even better, I guess. I have just one piece of advice for you. I learnt it the hard way on Wednesday. No matter how much your ex-boyfriend may look like Bear Grylls, and how much Man vs Wild you’ve been watching on YouTube, do not call fore mentioned ex-boyfriend. It will only end badly. In tears. With you feeling like you’re 15 years old again. Prick.

1. Follow my blog, the Random Ramblings of a SAHM. I never seem to get to reading all the links here. But believe me, I try. Not that any of this is my idea anyway- FYBF is MummyTime’s brainbaby. I stole it.
2. Grab the bubbly button and post it on your sidebar.
3. Link your First Name and/or Blog Name and URL of your post or blog.
4. Add a short description (max of 125 chars). It could be a description of yourself, your blog or a teaser to your latest post. .
5. Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger (Be nice and spread the love).
6. The list will be open for linkyers on Fridays (and for the foreigners Friday as well).
7. A new and fresh link list will open  every Friday. And you will have to link up AGAIN. The previous link list  does not carry over to the following week.
8. And lastly, have lotsa fun. I mean it. If I detect anyone not totally loving the awesomeness, I will bump you off the linky list. (Joking) (Kinda).
9. Ripping off my stuff- including these rules- makes baby Jesus cry. if you are doing your own blog hop, please write your own rules. You know who you are.

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If you are reading this, I’m probably in Melbourne right now for DPCon’12. Hopefully. Or else I’ve slept through my alarm and have missed my flight by a good few hours. But that does seem doubtful, considering I have to be at the airport in six hours and haven’t packed yet.

Last year was the inaugural AusBlogCon. Just over a year has passed since I proved to myself, for the first time, that I am a survivor.

Whatever. Enough mushy stuff. I’ve been to a few events in the last week where I’ve caught up with my fellow bloggers. I have never felt so comfortable or so much myself as when I’m in a room full of people who speak fluent geek with a hashtag accent.

Fellow geek and problogger Suger, pic stolen from her IG feed. She was one of my first ever blog followers and won my first blog comp- The Crappest GiveAway Ever. Appropriate, being Suger and all.

So, in honor of how much I love youse all, especially my fellow Top 50 bloggers– or probloggers, as the case may be– I’ve decided to publish the best advice I’ve got, as requested quite a while back, on how to  become– and stay– a problogger.

Now, before anyone gets their knickers in a proverbial twist– this is written with my tongue planted quite firmly in my cheek. If you would prefer me not to be such a smart arse (heh), I have published real, actual social media hints and blogging tips before. But this post is taking the piss. Out of myself. And those like–minded bloggers around me; who passionately adore writing, lovee their blogs… but really have no idea what they’re doing or why they’re any good at it.

The 2012 Kidspot Top 50. That’s me, scratching the bonnet of the car. Again.Thanks to JuicySlices IG feed for the pic.

‘How to sell your soul, sell yourself out, work your fingers to the bone, slave over a slightly heated iPad all day’… Or, ‘How to be a problogger.’

Remember– no one cares. You are a blogger, dammit; and blog you will, come rain, hail, appendicitis or dead husbands. You’re sick/tired/pregnant/having an existential crisis/being evicted/have been kidnapped by a band of rogue trolls…? Initially the sympathy will flow. This is lip service. No one actually cares why you’re not blogging, just that you are not blogging, and their morning Woog fix hasn’t showed in their Reader yet. Which is completely understandable. Think about it this way– when was the last time you saw David Letterman take a night off?

Thy blog is thy temple. And thou shall tweet treat it as such, offering sacrifices of wisdom and wit to the holy Trinity of Twitter, FaceBook and the Google God (who I’m fairly sure considers Google+ to be some kind of splinter section cult).


You must reply to every single email. Always. You will blog for an hour a day, and answer emails for six. Establish yourself an email auto–pilot persona so complete it even replies to offers from Dannii’s *Big Boobs!!!!* with a polite “Please keep me in the loop for future events” and a copy of your media kit.

What the f*ck do you mean “What is a media kit?”!?!?! Back of the blogging class, please.

Remember- every PR person is trying to rip you off, take over your blog, and fill it with video ads for Nestlé. Respond to their emails in a tone similar to one you would use for people who drown Furbies or Zhu Zhu pets or kittens or something.

Write an e-book. About anything. At all. Or at the very least contribute to one. Charge 99 cents a copy for it and change your business card to read “Published Author”. It’s called ‘shameless self promotion‘ and it works.

Attend the opening of an envelope. Erm…that’s me with a cardboard cut out of Rob The Dentist. Oh, and that’s me with Abby Cadabby. And oh, look, there’s me next to Anna Fare and Miranda Kerr’s mum! (Pictures completely unrelated to point. Obviously. See you next month at Samsung!)


Do not ever, ever, ever call yourself a mummy blogger. Personal blogger, parenting blogger, lifestyle blogger, grief blogger, humour blogger, niche blogger, whatever. But you are not, ever, under any circumstances, a mummy blogger.


Have price tags and make them nonnegotiable. Charge for absolutely everything. Really. I don’t care if that child is missing a leg and has to walk six kilometers to school carrying his pet iguana on his back. My sidebar is valuable real estate, dammit, and it will stay that way.


If you have a secret, confess it. It’s great for your stats. People love a nice bloody, gory car crash; the more bod bits strewn over the kerb the better.


Always, always, always carry a camera. Always. Get one built into your retina if you can. Because you just never know when you’ll capture a magical moment like this. Or this. Or this. Or even this.

And that’s about… that. DP bloggers, if you happen to see me around today, please come and say hello. And don’t punch me, not for this post– I’m almost positive it will only make me worse.

Cheers, jellybeans– as I said, I adore you people, bloggers and readers and occasional drop-in’s and random Google bots alike. Happy DPCon’12! (I know, I know, mOmmy bloggers, you’ve been there, done all this brand new conference stuff… but us Aussie’s are still catching up).

Howdy doody,

It’s FlogYoBlog Friday, people’s! FlogYoBlog is a blog hop, for all blogs bright and beautiful, and all blogs large and small. All blogs wise and wonderful, the GoogleGod made them all. Feel free to link up a post from the week, and click around and share the love to other bloggers too, mmmkay? Excellent. Technical instructions are here, if you need them.

Moving on- because I have a whole load o’ not-so-interesting stuff to tell you today- in case you missed it, I guest posted at WoogsWorld yesterday. Discussing a very, very, very bad word. Top of the language warning, OK? OK. A very bad word. Seriousness.

When you’re done reading that, you can, if you feel so inclined, go check out L. Avery’s blog, The Magnolia Blossom Review. She reviewed RRSAHM this week. I got 3.75 magnolias. And she even made me a cool little image thing….

…and every time I got to the Magnolia Blossom Review blog, my head reads all the posts in a deep Southern accent. Which is very entertaining. I suggest you do the same.

Lastly- unless I think of something else, which I may- there is no FlogYoBlog next week. It’s Christmas Eve, after all. But we’ll be up and running again on the 31st December. No one panic, we’re only missing a week. And yes, I know the 31st is New Years Eve. But I figure at least some of you will be losers responsible parents like me and staying home on NYE. Relatively un-inebriated.

Whatever. Like Hugh (as in Bunny) says, New Years is for amateurs.

And….. I’ll take a breath now, shall I? Get your link on, jellybeans- happy Flogging!!

1. Follow my blog, the Random Ramblings of a SAHM. I never seem to get to reading all the links here. But believe me, I try. Not that any of this is my idea anyway- FYBF is MummyTime’s brainbaby. I stole it.
2. Grab the bubbly button and post it on your sidebar.
3. Link your First Name and/or Blog Name and URL of your post or blog.
4. Add a short description (max of 125 chars). It could be a description of yourself, your blog or a teaser to your latest post. .
5. Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger (Be nice and spread the love).
6. The list will be open for linkyers on Fridays (and for the foreigners Friday as well).
7. A new and fresh link list will open  every Friday. And you will have to link up AGAIN. The previous link list  does not carry over to the following week.
8. And lastly, have lotsa fun. I mean it. If I detect anyone not totally loving the awesomeness, I will bump you off the linky list. (Joking) (Kinda).

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