Monthly Archives: May 2016
Do These Jellybeans Make My Blog Look Big? – RRSAHM
Do These Jellybeans Make My Blog Look Big?
Well…. what do you think?
It’s a brand new look for RRSAHM… same blog, same Lori, same jellybeans… only different. Seeing as the Purple world turned inside out a year ago today (2:34pm. Tick. Tick.); it seems only fitting that it changes again today.
Thanks to the awesome Super Geek Girl Sarah from Just Me for my new blog template- and my old one, for that matter. Sarah rocks… I’ve blogged before, how much I adore her.
Personally, I’m feeling more than a tiny bit cool. It’s fresh and colorful and still so very me. And if there was ever a time for everything to feel new and rebirthed…. then I my best guess is that this is it.
Previous post: My Tony
Next post: January 6th, 2012. Ashes.
The First Love. – RRSAHM
The First Love.
Come, sit, rest for a stir.Curl up, get comfortable.
Allow me to tell you a story.
I can’t tell you if the ending of this story is happy or sad. This is no fairy story. This is a real life romance, and in real life, love is often not tragic, nor exhilarating. It see-saws on the perch of everyday things, of laundry and lunches, of kisses and miscarriages, of forgotten anniversaries and impromptu celebrations.
The exception to this, of course, lays within the sweet shards of sunlight, the lilting melody that plays the very first time you fall in love.
There is nothing quite like it. Now, there is a phrase that has been stripped of it’s meaning, robbed of it’s emphasis. But apply it here, whisper it with passion and force- There is nothing quite like it.
His name was Christian, and we were fifteen years old.
Before I go on, I know there are a few of you, those in the background, who roll your eyes and murmur to yourselves that fifteen is far too young to experience love, that ‘love’ at fifteen is merely a hormonal infatuation. And perhaps you are correct. It was not the love I have for my husband, not the comfortable love built of respect for one another, for the commitment we have made.
But to say it was not love would be unfair and dismissive of the emotions this relationship encapsulated, of the devastation it left behind.
And this is where our story begins.
Does it surprise you that I remember, a Polaroid picture pinned in my mind, the moment I first saw Christian? No, it doesn’t, I’m sure, because this would not be a love story without that fact to frame it. Christian was in my Year Nine French class. He was witty and popular and entertaining without being a nasty pack-led creature as teenage boys so often are.
It’s his eyes that I remember- the shade of green that has stayed with me. Somewhere between sea water and pine needles, with flecks of golden sun. And his hair, thick and dark. His hands, firm and calloused and comforting.
He made me laugh.
I’ve always been a sucker for a man who makes me laugh.
At fifteen years old, we mistook ourselves for being far more mature than we were. And I think it’s only fair to say that, for a kid of his age, Christian had far more going on in his home than anyone should have, at any age.
For some reason that I have never been able to definitively clarify, Christian and I connected. Plato says that we, man and woman, are two halves of the one soul, and I remember seizing that philosophy, grappling with it to explain why I could not turn away from this person, even after they had turned so very toxic for me.
That sentiment, ‘toxic’, perhaps, is the understatement here. If the truth is to be known- and surely, this is the forum for it?- Christian and I had a crippling, withering effect on one another’s souls, coupled with a polarity that was like a magnetic force- as much as we needed to push away, something enticed us together, to repeat our heartbreaks, over and again.
Teenagers are cruel. This is an undisputed fact. Turn that cruelty to an angle that is not quite pointed at yourself, but only slightly away from your own heart, and you are destined to scorch the core of the people you love.
Arguments flared and burned between us, with stupid decisions and rationales ruled by hormones to provide a constant supply of dry, crunching fuel. What should have been private arguments, surely would have private arguments, had we been adults, not children, were aired, dried, starched in the judging sunshine of the schoolyard.
Things ended badly. Does that surprise you…? No, of course, it does not. First time loves that do not end, and end badly, are an increasingly rare commodity.
But that is not what I’m here to tell you about today.
Because this story is about the exhilaration, remember? The sparkly part, the effervescence of falling, of feeling no one before had experienced a love like this, no one but you.
The beauty of falling in love for the first time.
Do you remember…? Being young like that, filling your nose, your head, your senses with the smell of Men mixed with cheap antiperspirant and the waft of freshly lit cigarettes and the dank sweet smell of Coca Cola on their breath? Of being unable to sleep, of not needing to eat. Every thought and emotion balanced on the ridge of a sweet anticipation, of a thrilling anxiety, waiting for their phone call, their voice, their knock at the door, the next encounter.
And the passion…? Surely, you must remember that. When kissing someone was so sweet and new, it was like sun warmed peaches in your mouth. When the touch of someone’s skin was a surprising, soft sensation, when no greater satisfaction was found in anything except laying in their arms, listening to the startling yet comforting thud or their heart.
In their arms, were you easily could have stayed, caught in the soft web of that moment. Closed your eyes and floated on the succinct perfection of it, for a lifetime.
With the jaded hindsight of an adult, it is the optimism of first love that astounds me. Isn’t everyone optimistic, at that point in their lives? Don’t we all believe that our first love will be our only? Mustn’t we…? Because if we didn’t, then why love for the first time at all…?
It’s an Earth stopping moment, to realise that the sweetness of your first love has turned rotten and spoiled. To realise that even if that love was to somehow be rebuilt, if trust could be re-threaded and words taken back , there would still be something missing, and innocence and faith in your own heady feelings, that cannot be replaced.
And to say that all of that, at any age, is not love would be a disservice. Not only was that love to me, it defined love for me. Christian became a marker with which other loves would be judged. The flush of first passion became a standard for subsequent relationships to meet, a guide stick with which to test their emotional depth.
Christian. Fourteen years on, his name still whispers and resonates like a melody in my head. If I close my eyes, I’m sure I can smell him. And if I think hard enough, I can almost capture the exact shade of his green eyes.
Not a happy story. Nor a sad one. Love, in real life, it’s like that.
Leave a Comment
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
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June 10, 2010 at 10:27 am -
Beautiful words!!
I loved reading this post. x - June 9, 2010 at 10:53 pm
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Beautifully written. Loved it!
- June 9, 2010 at 2:04 pm
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Lori, that was beautiful. Reminded me of those butterflies in the stomach when you start seeing someone special. xx
- June 9, 2010 at 10:36 am
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Beautiful.
I'm in love with my only love. Sometimes I wonder why in the heck I waited so long…
- June 9, 2010 at 8:26 am
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That was beautiful. You are the goddess of words and of coaxing the reader to understand your story. Loved it!
- June 9, 2010 at 8:12 am
- June 9, 2010 at 7:32 am
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That. Was. Gorgeous.
Without giving the details that so many people think they need to know a story, you've given us the truth in such beautiful, evocative words – kudos to you Laurie, kudos to you. - June 8, 2010 at 10:49 pm
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You my dear, are the Christina Aguilera of writing. Where others can be quite good at manipulating words to present their point – you play, and make it look easy
- June 8, 2010 at 10:21 pm
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Yet again Lori lovely, you inspire me. Thank you. xx
- June 8, 2010 at 9:18 pm
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I loved this and it made me think of my own first love too, of course. It's funny I look back and always say that he was a bit of an arse, but that's the jaded adult saying that, not the smitten teenager. At the time I felt the same as this, it's good to remember those feelings – thanks !
- June 8, 2010 at 9:09 pm
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What a beautifully written post. Was with you every single word!
- June 8, 2010 at 5:16 pm
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oh Lori, you have such a way with not only words but with making people feel those words. xx
- June 8, 2010 at 4:35 pm
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Wonderfully written. There's simply nothing to add.
- June 8, 2010 at 3:45 pm
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A brilliant, beautifully written post as always. It captures teenage love so perfectly.
- June 8, 2010 at 9:50 pm
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Lori,
I am so glad you've written this post because it reminds me what I take for granted and forget some days.
I remember My first love, :grins: I was head over heels for him and for 10 years I thought of him every day and that thought was enough to give me butterflies.
And I now get to do his washing cook his dinner and pick up his smelly socks every day. lol
I wonder if i had of known about the dirty socks back then would I have felt the same way?!
Bec
Previous post: Seven Things That P*ss Me Off. On Post It’s.
Next post: Dogs are better than chocolate-The Pedigree Adoption Drive.
Positions Vacant in the Purple House. – RRSAHM
Positions Vacant in the Purple House.
*Ahem*. The Magician should say “Pull money from thin air”. ‘Scuse my atrocious typos and apathetic attitude toward fixing them.
Leave a Comment
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
- June 16, 2010 at 12:22 pm
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Love your personalized post-its and I think I could totally take all of the job openings and post them here at my house! Lol! Thanks for stopping by my blog today…PINT is really fun!
- June 16, 2010 at 1:19 am
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That's not a man. LOL A man couldn't handle most of those jobs.
- June 16, 2010 at 1:08 am
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Thanks, but I already to this AND work full-time. Well, minus the dog. My kids are deprived.
- June 16, 2010 at 12:35 am
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Perfectly hilarious post-its! Good luck with your applicant search!!!
- June 16, 2010 at 4:49 am
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Sorry, I can't apply. I'm already booked,
- June 15, 2010 at 3:40 pm
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OMG these are great!! I love your post-its. I could use a few of these on occasion too!
- June 15, 2010 at 10:55 pm
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Boy can I relate…
Have a great Tuesday!
http://harrietandfriends.com/2010/06/oprah-says-that-copycats-win-wonder-if-hormones-tick-her-off-too/ - June 15, 2010 at 12:48 pm
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Yup you da man Lori…LOL!
- June 15, 2010 at 12:00 pm
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Yep. I'll take whoever you don't hire!
- June 15, 2010 at 11:36 am
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If you have any extra applicants you won't need, send them my way ok?
- June 15, 2010 at 4:08 pm
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love your post – so true
- June 15, 2010 at 3:02 pm
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Stopping from Supah's…love the post its! If this works, I'll have to post open positions on my blog as well!
Previous post: i(Still)Jealous
Next post: The place where I grew up.
Internet Dating 106- Why I Hate MasterChef – RRSAHM
Internet Dating 106- Why I Hate MasterChef
I don’t do vegetables, and I don’t eat a lot of meat. I don’t eat Thai, Vietnamese, Spanish, Mexican… the list goes on. Why? Because I just don’t like it. Any of it. Vegetables especially. I was the kid who never ate their veggies and never ‘grew out of it’. I find the taste, texture and smell totally unpalatable. And that’s the end of the story.
Well… not really. And if it were, that would make for a very short and boring blog post.
Anyway. When I was kid, eating veggies- or not eating them, as the case may be, way a constant battle between my parents, my grandmother who cared for me while my parents where working, and stubborn little me, pushing peas around my plate and gagging on nearly cold mashed potato.
My dad used to say to me, half joking, “What are you going to do, when you’re a teenager and some bloke wants to take you out? Make him take you to McDonalds?”
I’m not sure if the intention was to shame me into eating my vegetables or just shame me in general, but it half worked. This played on my mind when I was a tween, all short but still gangly and achingly insecure. It kept me awake at night, worrying…. what would I do when I was older, and expected to be sophisticated? Being an unpopular nerd with low self esteem, my chances of finding a boyfriend were, as I saw it, slim to none anyway… this was just another deal breaker for Lori.
If I’m honest, until now, it’s never really come up. Dating before I was married was more casual, more pubs and clubs, more ice cream overlooking the harbor. Less three course meals with different wine to compliment each.
Now that I’m thirty, single and have kids, it seems the stakes have been raised.
Nom nom.
It seems that every eligible guy out there has suddenly developed a flair for home cooking. And I don’t mean steaks on the barbeque, or grilled cheese on toast. I mean real food, with names like pate and brie and filet and other things I can’t even pronounce.
I’m blaming MasterChef for this “I’m a good looking, intelligent guy who can cook and that’s sexy” phenomenon. It certainly wasn’t happening six years ago. And it’s downright embarrassing for me.
Because no, I don’t eat Thai, or capers, or stir fry, or any kind of creamy pasta, or seafood. I try to glaze over the whole thing- “I’m a fussy eater…”- but a big guy in a cravat is screaming “Loser!!” at me in my head.
Add to this the fact that I don’t drink, and especially not wine– it gives me a headache and besides that it tastes foul- leaves most men thinking I’m both childish and kind of strange, and seems to put me on a back foot.
Not that it takes much to put a single mum with two kids under four on the back foot in the dating game… but me and my fussy eating habits certainly don’t help.
Leave a Comment
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
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January 24, 2012 at 9:41 am -
Is there a post stating what you DO eat? I wanna see it!
My girlfriend is like you. She tried being hypnotised so she'd like vegetables but it didn't work.
She's teeny like you too. x
- November 16, 2011 at 8:32 am
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You are not alone. I met my husband online (with a 2 year old and a WHOLE lot of baggage) and before we ever met face to face he knew it wasn't just that I didn't eat some things. I didn't eat whole food groups. No chinese, no seafood, no mexican, no Thai, etc. My example to him, I eat like a three year old.
Dispite that, and his HUGE love of cooking things that appeal to the palate of more than just a three year old, we have made it work.
If you find the right guy, he won't care that you are a picky eater.
P.S. I only eat corn, tomatoes (veggie or fruit??) peas, carrots and lettuce. All other vegatables are OUT!!
- November 13, 2011 at 11:04 pm
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there's no right or wrong way, it's just your life. i know after reading the last post about bodies whispering, my first response to this post was ohh you probably need some vitamins to help your body.
maybe your tiredness is iron levels being low – i speak as someone who always gets low iron. and you were mentioning craving steak..
i just know the feelings you are describing so well.. and since you dont eat vegetables (no judgement here, thats cool by me) id recommend taking a women's multi vitamin if you don't already, because maybe that'ld help you have more energy. you dont even have to take them every day, just when you remember or feel like you need it…
just a suggestion. based on my own experiences.
ps. i really ope i don't sound patronising. do i?
- November 12, 2011 at 8:34 am
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you are too funny-
seems to me you have gotten this far and grown 2 kids with that body. Who cares what you eat…
And to all the preachy, health minded people who think there is a right way and THEREFORE A WRONG WAY –
GET A LIFE- there are no gold stars on your forehead for this.
It would be a sad place Lori if we were all the same.
Love your work
Jane - November 12, 2011 at 8:10 am
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I don't know… food is more than just sustinance as you reflect on in your post. It's also an act of control, it's a way of expressing oneself (both you and the Masterchef boys) it's a feeling of connection for me many times to people, the past and it is also a connection to the future in the case of sustaining life and keeping an aging body healthy (now at 48 after a few weeks of tests and odd ailiments I'm well aware of how my habits both promote life and how they don't) Food doesn't always promise "love" or "health" but it can. I think you are reflecting and could make some changes but even if you don't you likely know what you are doing. Enjoy your choices and realize they are powerful.
- November 12, 2011 at 8:09 am
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Good gravy – I agree that I would like a list of the foods that are acceptable to you.
I know you enjoy chocolate, anything else?? - November 11, 2011 at 8:49 pm
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I'm going to sound like your mother but you need to eat vegetables
There's no ifs and buts – they are good for you.
- November 11, 2011 at 7:34 pm
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I know people just like you, Lori, so you're not alone and despite the odds you all seem to survive well.
I just keep wondering what I would do with all my extra time If I didn't need to buy, prepare, cook and eat.
I sometimes feel that the majority of my day is spent in pursuit of some type of food activity.
I'm sure I could save the world if it wasn't for this stupid addiction.
Mrs. C - November 11, 2011 at 3:17 pm
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Sorry, that should say "without so many of the foods that you say you AVOID" not "enjoy".
- November 11, 2011 at 3:14 pm
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I'm 28, and I only started eating eggs and bananas this year, after not having eaten them for at least 15 years. I knew that they were so good for me, so I gave them a try. Turns out I really enjoy bananas now. Eggs were a little harder to adjust to, and I still struggle with them cooked certain ways. But done the way I like, I enjoy them! I guess what I'm saying is that maybe you should try things that you haven't eaten for years, and maybe some of them will be bearable to you now? There's just no way you can have the energy and strength you need without so many of the foods that you say you enjoy. Give something new a go each week – you might surprise yourself
xo - November 11, 2011 at 2:21 pm
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My daughter (aged 6) is an incredibly fussy eater-she eats rice, bread, chicken, sausages, corn, some types of yoghurt, rice crackers, plain potato chips, chocolate, and drinks milk, water & apple juice. I imagine one day she'll write a blog post like this (if blogs are still around by then!)
Some people are just not into food. Or wine (my waistline wishes I wasn't!)That's ok. I cannot stand people taking on a preachy, judgemental attitude regarding my daughter-as if her eating predilections are a reflection on my (clearly) terrible parenting.
Screw them. Eat what you like and how. Dating is enough of a minefield as it is as a single mum-I speak from experience x
- November 11, 2011 at 2:14 pm
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Lori you are my hero! I am the worlds fussiest eater. Seriously. I don't go to people's house for dinner, cause I don't eat. I make them come here instead!
Veggies are gross, I only ever serve them when I can smother them in some kind of sauce as a (kind of) good example to the kids.
It is so embarrassing. I really hate it. And I get people asking me all the time 'what do you eat?' Can we just get a pizza and get oer it please? - November 11, 2011 at 1:47 pm
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Yeah, I get this. I'm the same. My ex worked in Seafood and everyone said how lucky I was. I HATE seafood and it made me gag to smell it on him.
My boyfriend now makes fun of me because when we've both read the menu, he tries to guess what I want. And it's usually on the kids' menu. He's learned the tricks I have, to look for an age limit on the kids' menu. It's pretty cute actually! - November 11, 2011 at 12:45 pm
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Wow! What do you eat? I am wondering, from what you wrote in your quit smoking post (the one before this one) how you maintain a healthy body andind, and how you encourage good eating habits in your kids. Sorry if that sounded preachy.
I think good food is so important For good health. Maybe while making the change to a smoke free life, you may introduce healthier food into your diet?I can imagine food differences makes dating difficult – maybe choose some dating options that don't involve food or drink?
And on a side note – I love food so very much! My parents made me eat everything they gave me, and as a result, I want to Try everything tHats on offer. When I dine out, the most difficult thing is dining with picky eaters.
- November 11, 2011 at 12:07 pm
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Everyone else has asked the main question of what do you eat?
So I want to ask, how do you keep your body and mind working in a healthy way if you do not provide it energy-filled, live foods?
Oh.. and your tastes will change as you age.. so you will find yourself eating the same things you never liked as a kid or young adult.
An ancient Druid saying, "Never name the well you won't drink from, one day you will have to."
Be well Sister
Oldie
- November 11, 2011 at 12:04 pm
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There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with a nice pub cooked meal.
Why can't we stick to that food?Actually, I don't eat steak, so it's usually awkward for me to have to explain to people I don't eat what surely everyone eats. No I don't.
I also don't eat a stack of vegetables like onion, capsicum, basically anything crunchy and bitter. Yuck.I think they need to do an inspiring show about cleaning. Maybe that will make men want to clean? At least up after their own mess. Masterclean. Yep, that sounds better to me.
- November 11, 2011 at 11:14 am
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I don't like alcohol either, we have a lot of alcoholics in the family but thats not why I don't drink I simply don't like the taste. And you're a grown ass woman you can eat whatever the F you like!
Karlene - November 11, 2011 at 10:53 am
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I can totally relate! I am a "picky" eater too. I like plain food. I don't like strong spices or flavours, or sea food, or a lot of vegetables, or most meat, or beans, etc. One of my favourite meals is peanut butter toast and tea with a banana on the side!
- November 11, 2011 at 10:10 am
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I know exactly where you're coming from! I share all of your dislikes and could add countless other items to a list of foods that don't appeal to me. I've always been referred to as a "picky" eater and it's always said with disdain. As if not liking all types of food is a choice I make. I would LOVE to look at a menu and be tempted by every option. It's neither fun, nor easy, to be offered or served things that I know I don't like.
Rather than seeing myself as fussy, I choose to believe that I merely have a discerning palate.
I like plain, simple food (I'd probably be called "a meat and potatoes man" if I weren't a woman) — no herbs, spices or glop added, thank you very much. I appreciate the basics and want no embellishment. When my husband and I are in a restaurant for the first time, he always says, "I hope you can find something here that you'll like". He gets it. He cares about me and accepts that my taste buds have limitations.
Don't be so tough on yourself, Lori. When the right guy comes into your life, he'll love you no matter your food preferences. There's no need to apologize for being you!
- November 11, 2011 at 10:01 am
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I'm wondering the same lol,,,what do you eat???
But seriously, I know what you mean, I have a nephew who is almost 24 and he basically lives on chicken nuggets, chicken schnitzel and chips, I kid you not. He doesn't do vegetables or anything fancy either,,,,,lol pity you don't live in SA, I could have set you up, it could have been a match made in heaven!! He has trouble dating for that reason too, so at least you know you aren't alone!
- November 11, 2011 at 9:38 am
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I too wonder what you do eat
But as far as being judged by others based on what you don't eat or drink, I say F*CK THAT.
People judge other people's lifestyles and choices entirely too much in my opinion. It's your body. Your sense of taste/smell/etc. doesn't matter what other people like.
- November 11, 2011 at 8:59 am
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Yes, exactly what I was wondering! Can we please have a list of 'Things Lori eats'?
- November 11, 2011 at 8:34 am
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Oh dear God, what DO you eat than???
Previous post: The Whispering Body
Next post: Vagina
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Fuck You Too.
What Do You Call A Post Like This? – RRSAHM
What Do You Call A Post Like This?
Aloha,
What do you wear, on the worst day of your life, your husband’s funeral..?
White, blue and fuck you too. Just like my wedding. Except with a lot more of the ‘fuck you’.
Bizarrely, every time I upload this photo anywhere, it’s sideways. On my PC, and on Picnik, it’s the right way up. Upload it to FaceBook, Blogger or Twitter and it’s sideways. Weird.
If you been reading since the Before, you know… a photographer, I ain’t. But, hey, I do my best. This is my new favourite piece of jewelery. A huge thank you to Bec from Girls Gone Child, who sent it over to me.
Three peas in a pod. Me, and my kidlets.
Quite sadly, as we know, I cannot freaking stand the colour purple anymore. So, the Purple House is now a place of dreams and the occasional nightmare.
(I said to Tony, in the hospital- “I always told you that I felt like the last five years was a dream, and that I was afraid of waking up. This is waking up. This is the beginning of a nightmare. I’m not sure if I’m asleep, or awake anymore.“)
And we live in The GingerBread House instead.
My Chop, on the beautiful, sunshine-y day when we spread Tony’s ashes. My little man, who I will always be worried about, fret about. And I’m sure there’s more coming on that later.
And my Man (Father of The Year, hello? It’s a doll, people. A doll. No one panic.) Who I miss so much right now, it’s like missing a limb.
My mind, it tricks me into thinking he’s still here. I checked my blog stats today. And the first thing I thought was “Wow, what till I show Tony!”.
And, finally, some Thank Yous. From the very bottom of my heart, the place where gratitude rests and grows and lives and sings songs of hope to me.
Bloggers, Glow….
….Emma….
….and my beautiful Fairy Saerie.
You know what you have done. there are plenty more people to thank, but you three… you have a place in my heart, forever.
And a quick poll for you, my readers. I have posts, in my Drafts folder, from Before. Just normal posts,. about normal life. Do I publish them, or not..? I’m thinking Yes.
Leave a Comment
{ 72 comments… read them below or add one }
- February 16, 2011 at 7:31 am
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Entirely up to you
- February 11, 2011 at 3:35 am
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Publish them all.
- February 10, 2011 at 9:27 pm
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do it! I feel stalkerish having not known you since before finding Jenny the blogess' link. Don't think that i, or i'm sure many others, are only here now to leech off the tragedy, your life is limitless, we are your friends and will support anything you choose to write in this space. It is yours.
- February 9, 2011 at 11:57 pm
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That is a beautiful gingerbread house:)
- February 9, 2011 at 10:56 pm
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The Gingerbread House – that sounds like a good place to live.
If you feel it's right to post, then post. I'll certainly read avidly.
- February 9, 2011 at 9:49 pm
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Don't feel like you have to post about Tony, or anything. Just post what you want to post. As you feel it. We're always here. xx
- February 9, 2011 at 6:31 pm
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Yes publish them, whenever you are ready to. And take it one day at a time. Hugs xo
- February 9, 2011 at 5:26 pm
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This is just so real & raw & I am drawn to tears everytime I read. I am just so amazed at how you are so real & I am more than proud & humbled by you, even if I don't know you.
I have been through this with a couple of my dearest friends & there are no answers in the dark of the night. Love to those gorgeous children & to you.
Yeah post em. - February 9, 2011 at 3:24 pm
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Why not post them, we love your work xx
- February 9, 2011 at 2:44 pm
- February 9, 2011 at 12:08 pm
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Yes, you should post them. No matter what anyone says either way, if you want to, you should post them.
Your ginger-bread house is very pretty and warm.
- February 9, 2011 at 12:05 pm
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I think post them, if you're in the mood. Love to read whatever you write.
Maybe you should let your kidlets decorate The Gingerbread House with icing and candy. Yum.
- February 9, 2011 at 11:06 am
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I think it's unanimous =)
I looove your pendant so pretty & the gingerbread house looks great & you've picked the perfect happy name for it too.
Love ya lots xxx
- February 9, 2011 at 10:45 am
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Publish.
Of course, I say this as someone with 20 NASTY drafts waiting to be published so you do as you please.
xoxo
- February 9, 2011 at 10:33 am
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I've never commented on your blog, but I have read for a little while – probably since late last year. Firstly, I just wanted you to know that there is yet another person out there that is thinking of you daily and wishing the pain away. Secondly, I am amazed at how the blogging community has just wrapped their arms around you – it is awesome and so heartwarming to see such love. It's restored my faith in human kind!
Thinking of you and your babies.
xx - February 9, 2011 at 9:54 am
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Love the necklace and the gingerbread house. Would love you to post whatever your heart desires. You are lucky to have such wonderful friends who have done so much to help you and I am sure all your readers would agree wholeheartedly as to how wonderful they have been in helping us to help you too.
- February 9, 2011 at 9:21 am
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The three peas in the pod is very lovely and yes Lori, publish those posts if that feels like the right thing to you.
Mich x
- February 9, 2011 at 9:18 am
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Hi Lori, this is the second time I've tried to write this. Stupid me hadn't signed in the first time, so I lost my post.
Just wanted to say that my mother put a link to your blog on Facebook. In particular, the post about men and suicide. I got to work this morning at 7am, and started reading from the beginning of December onwards. It's now 9.20am and it's time to wipe my eyes, go downstairs for a smoke, and then do a bit more work before going back even further in your blog to read.
You are an absolutely amazing woman.
- February 9, 2011 at 9:14 am
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Are they good ones?! If so then yes, otherwise…. ;0)
PS I turned my screen on its side and now the photo is looking good but the beer is pouring out over the doll!
- February 9, 2011 at 6:29 am
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Yes! Absolutely …
- February 9, 2011 at 5:16 am
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I think yes, but really I think you should do whatever feels good to you. Or whatever feels less bad since I imagine not much feels really good right now. Hang in there.
- February 9, 2011 at 4:01 am
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If you're thinking yes, then yes. xo
- February 9, 2011 at 3:58 am
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I agree with everyone above. Post what you feel you would like to post.
xx - February 9, 2011 at 2:56 am
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This is your blog. You get to post what you want, when you want, no matter what!
- February 9, 2011 at 2:32 am
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P.S.
That necklace is the cat's meow. - February 9, 2011 at 2:31 am
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The GingerBread House is absolutely adorable.
I would love to read the old posts, too.
XOXOXOXO
- February 9, 2011 at 12:29 am
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of course post what you want. it's your blog after all, and we are just guests here.
we offered prayers for you and your family in church sunday.
- February 9, 2011 at 12:27 am
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Your blog Lori, you choose, but I think you should.
I love the peas in a pod necklace how gorgeous is that?!
- February 9, 2011 at 12:20 am
- February 9, 2011 at 12:07 am
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Yes- post them
- February 8, 2011 at 10:39 pm
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Publish, write, I will be here….xox
- February 8, 2011 at 10:34 pm
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The new color is AWESOME, I love it! And I say….publish.
- February 8, 2011 at 10:23 pm
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Post everything, the Befores and Afters!
I admire your attitude!
You make my laugh and cry at the same time
- February 8, 2011 at 10:08 pm
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Yes. It's your place, you can post whatever you like. xox
- February 8, 2011 at 9:43 pm
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<3
What wonderful wonderful friends you have looking after you.
Do what you think is best at the time with your drafts. You know we will all still be reading.
I am digging the new colour too. Gingerbread. Yum! - February 8, 2011 at 9:42 pm
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Yes if it doesn't hurt too much. x
- February 8, 2011 at 9:09 pm
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I've followed your blog for awhile now Lori, and while I've been a stalker in the back ground not normally comment, but I feel when and if you are ready, we would all love to read your drafts.
xx - February 8, 2011 at 9:04 pm
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Beautiful 3 peas in a pod pendant, very spesh!
The front of the house matches the back new colour nicely.
Post away as you wish, we all love reading it, as long as it's Lori's.
You looked amazingly beautiful at the funeral, I remember thinking 'how does she do it'. And as for the tongue out in the photo, typical.
Luv KT - February 8, 2011 at 8:59 pm
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The Gingerbread House. Lovely.
And, yes, thoose three amazing bloggers have done so much.
Also, yes, post from Before as you feel led. Love to you xo - February 8, 2011 at 8:47 pm
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If you think "yes", then go with it! You've just got to go where your heart, gut or head take you – we'll all be here, willing you on with love.
- February 8, 2011 at 8:30 pm
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Gingerbread houses rock my socks! And also – i say publish. It might be nice for you to come here and find a bit of laughter, and normality, and happy craziness again…
- February 8, 2011 at 8:29 pm
- February 8, 2011 at 7:57 pm
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Hi Lori,
I love your pendant…..
And you should post anything you feel like. Like you said, it's your blog, your life and you have to do what's right for you!
I'm thinking of you and your little ones!
Love, Wendy
- February 8, 2011 at 7:19 pm
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I would say yes, go for it
Hugs x - February 8, 2011 at 7:16 pm
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YES! Why the hell not? Listen to your gut, hon.
Pendant is very precious – and I'm thinkin' the house looks gorgeous!
xxx
- February 8, 2011 at 7:11 pm
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pus is plus, collies is collies. Stupid auto correct
- February 8, 2011 at 7:10 pm
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Yes, post them, they need to be read lol. I love your new house collies, very clean and healing. Pus the photo of your man, he was gorgeous! Keep writing , and I loved your pic, I love your attitude,you rock!
- February 8, 2011 at 6:10 pm
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YES YES YES!
- February 8, 2011 at 5:31 pm
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Um YES PLEASE!! I love your posts. All of them. Obviously I wish the subject matter wasn't your situation.. but I love getting to know you through this blog. You are real and cool and funny even in sadness.
- February 8, 2011 at 5:17 pm
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Post baby, post!
And I LOVE the gingerbread house, now you and your jellybeans can create a new fairy tale where you all live happily ever after
Hugs
x
- February 8, 2011 at 5:02 pm
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Publish,
I love you tart features.
xxx - February 8, 2011 at 4:47 pm
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Yes! Publish! Tony would have wanted you to publish them.xxx
- February 8, 2011 at 4:32 pm
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Lori,
Just know that even though I may not post it, that I am always around and thnking about you guys.
P.S. the house color looks very gingerbready!
- February 8, 2011 at 4:21 pm
- February 8, 2011 at 4:02 pm
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Beautiful pendant. And of course, yes. xxxx
- February 8, 2011 at 3:46 pm
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yes. post.
- February 8, 2011 at 3:39 pm
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Love the pendant, love the photography and would love to see the 'before' posts.
- February 8, 2011 at 3:36 pm
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Another vote for posting the ones form before, if that's what right for you.
I love your gingerbread house btw.
- February 8, 2011 at 3:31 pm
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Yes to before posts, yes to after posts, yes to the grocery list as long as it's written by you and you're feeling it.
- February 8, 2011 at 3:27 pm
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Lori, absolutely post those posts from Before.
They're like, a time capsule from yourself, to remind you how life once was ….. and one day, your heart will be ok again. It will – I really mean it. I promise.
You are beautiful. xox
- February 8, 2011 at 3:22 pm
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I vote yes. I want to read everything you have to say…
- February 8, 2011 at 3:16 pm
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Yes, publish them.
The Gingerbread house is so cute.
And I'm sorry, but that photo of Tony is brilliant!
- February 8, 2011 at 3:13 pm
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Awesome woman, awesome kids, awesome house. And publish anything and everything that you want
- February 8, 2011 at 3:08 pm
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Yes, you should post them. I like your Gingerbread House – it's kind of cheery actually.
- February 8, 2011 at 3:06 pm
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I've not commented before, I don't think but just wanted to join the chorus of those sending you their best and wanting to support you in this small way. I think "yes" but only if you want to.
- February 8, 2011 at 3:05 pm
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Yes, post them if they make you feel better.
- February 8, 2011 at 3:04 pm
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of course. publish.
mmm gingerbread… - February 8, 2011 at 2:49 pm
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I love that, The Gingerbread House. Beautiful.
And I also love the peas in a pod pendant.
And I also love you, chicky *hug*
- February 8, 2011 at 10:43 pm
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There was no mention of all purple house in my childhood fairy tales but there was a gingerbread house.
Post them, it might be a nice distraction for a few hours to go back to what ¨normality¨ was before it happened and it will definitely help you appreciate life xx
- February 8, 2011 at 4:20 pm
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I'm thinking yes too.
- February 8, 2011 at 3:29 pm
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I saw that Cabbage Patch doll flashing herself inappropriately when getting into a car.! I now know why! I love that photo, it's genius.!
In answer to your poll: that's a YES.! from me, too
- February 8, 2011 at 2:59 pm
Previous post: You Men. And Suicide.
Next post: A Million Things.
The House That Love Built. – RRSAHM
The House That Love Built.
I’m selling my house, and there are kinks and knots and legalities and contracts. A lovely solicitor with a penchant for fine points, for dotting i’s and crossing t’s. A real estate agent who I actually trust, who sold us our house and phoned once a year, who remembered the names of my children when we spoke.
It was almost a comfort, to take my house to him, to sell. Because he knew, he had seen my perfect family. He’d seen it grow. I didn’t have to attest to him, that once this was a happy home, a happy place to be.
It had such a nice vibe, when I first set foot in there. I hope it’s still there. I hope the love we had, the happiness.. I hope that has permeated through the walls, through the plaster, seeped in through the tiny holes left from all the pictures we had hanging….
The garage, it felt so dark, cleaning it out. Being in there, speaking to Tony’s ghost, what was left of his shadow. That garage, made people tired, took their breath away.
Three women are moving into my house now. That makes me feel so much better. I hope they are peaceful and content there.
Taking phone calls from legal people, listening to big words I only just understand, making decisions for myself, for my children, for the money we have to support us, the money my husband left us to keep his children safe and warm and happy, to give them what they want.
It scares me. I feel like a small child, playing house, pretending to be a grown up. I put on a brave face, and pretend I’m not scared shitless, doing this all by myself.
I’m learning, but. If this is the final part of that wretched process of growing up, well then… I suppose, How To Sell A House 101 is important information to have.
It feels good, in a way… pulling a tooth that’s been loose for months now, letting it bleed. But it hurts, all the same, the way blood always does.
And the future, it’s so malleable. The freedom, it’s exhilarating and comforting and real and a dream, all at once.
I’ve made the right decisions, mostly, so far. Trusting myself, my instincts, what’s right…
I guess the comfort is, I can’t fall too far from here.
Leave a Comment
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
- June 13, 2011 at 1:54 pm
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May it all go smoothly for you – and that future of yours and your little ones burn bright xx
- June 13, 2011 at 12:50 pm
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You will rock it I have no doubt !!x
- June 13, 2011 at 12:39 pm
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Wow… you are amazing!
- June 13, 2011 at 3:56 am
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You are awesome. Hugs!!
- June 13, 2011 at 1:26 am
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Yes, indeed,Lori, you are making very good decisions and being at the beach ranks high on the list of activities that keep you sane, therefor the house must go. You did the right thing.
I have faith in you-as do all the commenters and I bet the lurkers too, we’re here for you. Hugs for all three…
- June 12, 2011 at 10:03 pm
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I hope it all works out well for you
- June 12, 2011 at 8:46 pm
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Anything…everything is possible. You CAN do it.
I went out on my own with SIX kids the youngest 17mths…by choice,well sort of, admittedly, but still the practicalities were similar….
Big decisions all by myself…daunting but exhilarating at the same time…still I stumble at times and wish I had a sounding board and some support but hey the more we HAVE to do the more we CAN do….
Keep stepping out, one step at a time, one day at a time, one decision at a time. YOU CAN DO IT!!! The worst has happened and you are still surviving and beginning to thrive…slowly, slowly but we can all see it!!!
With you all the way.
Annette - June 12, 2011 at 6:47 pm
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Onward and upward from here Lori xo
- June 12, 2011 at 6:44 pm
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I'm hoping it all goes super smoothly for you and your littles. You deserve peace and happiness.
Cxx
- June 12, 2011 at 5:01 pm
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Honey, you are rocking it!…Always, Always, trust yourself when it comes to your babies!
- June 12, 2011 at 4:11 pm
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you'll do great ♥
- June 12, 2011 at 3:56 pm
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Wishing you the best. If there is any bloody justice in this world, the whole thing will go smoothly.
- June 12, 2011 at 1:27 pm
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That future – so liberating and frightening at the same time.
- June 12, 2011 at 1:15 pm
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I hope it all goes smoothly for you Lori… and i hope the next inhabitants of your home can feel the love you once created there…
- June 12, 2011 at 10:21 pm
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Hope it all goes smoothly. You definitely seem to have made the right decisions so far. Keep at it.
HUG!
Previous post: I Wish My Head Would Shut Up.
Next post: AfterLife Shouldn’t Be Stressful
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Jeans and Stuff.
Chocolate Covered Potato Chips – RRSAHM
Chocolate Covered Potato Chips
Yummy yummy,
Those of you who read Katie’s blog will know she caused quite the stir the other day when she mentioned a craving for chocolate covered potato chips. Not imaginary, in-her-head chocolate covered potato chips, but real life, good-enough-to-eat chocolate covered potato chips.
Exciting. Very exciting.
You see, myself and one of my bestest mates, Auntie Mickey, have been fantasising about this particular food combination for years. The saltiness of chips, the sweetness of chocolate. The crunch with the smooth meltiness.
Yum.
Auntie Mickey and me. Not our best heads.
We really thought we were the only ones who had thought of this. It never occurred to us to Google it.
But that is exactly what we did, right after I showed Auntie Mickey the post on Katie’s blog.
You crazy Americans. You really do think of everything. Especially when it comes to salty, sugar-y snack foods.
Leading an exceptionally boring life has it’s advantages. I was on a chocolate covered chip mission, with Katie as my cohort. I was going to get me some chocolate covered chips, come hell, high water or international airmail restrictions. One way or another. Even if I had to sleep with Katie to do it.
Unfortunately, there is one factor in this equation that my dog-like determination has no bearing on.
Mother freaking Nature.
It’s summer in America. Which means melted, soggy chippies. And- the irony- by the time it’s winter over there, it will be summer here. And if the chips can’t survive an American summer, they have a…. ummm… chocolate covered chip’s chance of surviving an Australian one.
So, after all that, I decided to stop being so lazy and make my own bloody chips.
Here’s the pictorial evidence.
The ingredients- salt and vinegar chips, crinkle cut to catch as much chocolate as possible; and silky smooth Lindt chocolate.
Getting drippy dippy with it.
My attempt at food pornography. And plating up, MasterChef style. Auntie Mickey helped me out by standing next to me yelling “You have thirty seconds to stack those chips and plate up the perfect dish! Get cracking!”
Even the Man got in on the act. And you can’t be a food critic without a tea towel round your neck cravat.
The verdict…? Chocolate covered chips are an acquired taste. Just not as quickly acquired as we thought they would be. Obviously sickly sweet and salty, we actually left a third of the chips on the plate. Which is not like us at all.
So…. much like sex on the beach, sex in a car with bucket seats, or sex in an elevator, chocolate covered potato chips are one of those things that are much better in your imagination than In Real Life.
And that’s probably where they should stay.
Leave a Comment
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
- June 24, 2010 at 6:05 am
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I completely missed this post! chocky covered chips never sounded too good to me, but I have to say they do look good. Chocolate covered pretzels are tasty so you would think chips would be. Maybe it should have been non-vinegar ones? Oh well – you're probably right- better in theory.
- June 22, 2010 at 11:18 am
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You know my American friend LOVES chocolate covered pretzels. She used to talk about them non-stop , and finally on a work trip, picked some up. They were..interesting…
- June 21, 2010 at 11:54 am
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Ok. All of you, please believe me when I say that CCPC's are delicious. Please note that I am American and even I thought they sounded weid before I actually tried them (and again, being American will enjoy just about anything-foodwise), but they are one of my favorite treats EVER. The salt, the crunch, the chocolate. You can NOT go wrong. Lori, do not give up on these. I guarantee you will love professionally made ones.
Oh, and thank you so very much for the big old shout out. How very kind! - June 20, 2010 at 8:05 pm
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Oh bummer, you totally had me craving for them!! LOL
I'm so impressed you made some yourself, they look GOOD.
- June 19, 2010 at 1:29 am
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What about sex in the kitchen? Where do they fall in comparison to that?
- June 19, 2010 at 1:28 am
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LOL!! I'm reading your mailing dilemma and thinking "duh, dry ice" and then read on and oh, yeah, guess you could just make them and save yourself $60!
I can't say I ever thought the combination appealing, though if I were force fed them, I would first make an appeal for the dark chocolate variety (hold the vinegar).
- June 18, 2010 at 11:57 pm
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You used Lindt milk chocolate? I'm going to use 60% or 70% Lindt dark chocolate and cheese & onion crinkle cut chips and see how they taste.
- June 18, 2010 at 11:34 pm
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This comment has been removed by the author.
- June 18, 2010 at 11:17 pm
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Food pornography…you are too much!! I am laughing my arse off here!!! I wish I could laugh my rash off, now that would be pretty swell.
- June 18, 2010 at 8:27 pm
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Honestly? I couldnt think of anything worse. I love me some chips, and i love me some chocolate…. i dont think i'd love them so much together though. Leave them be i say!
- June 18, 2010 at 6:53 pm
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bwah ha ha ha ha – we're laughing out loud here
But you used Lindt??? Oh nooo… how could you pollute it with chips?
h ah aha - June 18, 2010 at 3:24 pm
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Yep, I definitely think you may have had a better result with plain chips. Salt and vinegar chips are the most perfect snack food on earth; you don't mess with that.
- June 18, 2010 at 2:11 pm
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I can never let my husband and kids see this blog entry!!!
- June 18, 2010 at 1:20 pm
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A third of the chocolate covered chips left?! What a horrible waste of chocolate!!!
That said, I must try this! I'll try plain chips… Regardless of taste I know Husband will eat it!
- June 18, 2010 at 12:25 pm
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Just to clarify here- we did try kettle cooked plain chips and chocolate. #fail. Gotta be crinkle cut.
- June 18, 2010 at 12:04 pm
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Google ate my comment
Anyway what I said was this: with the right combination it might be alright, like maybe plain chips & chilli chocolate
- June 18, 2010 at 12:01 pm
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Chips and choccies. Ummm. Probably not. Hehe.
- June 18, 2010 at 10:04 am
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I love that you made these yourself! I had seen them mentioned on an American site and just thought "you crazy Americans" (as you do). I'm glad you didn't find them appealing – they're a bit in 'deep fried mars bar' territory for me.
Found your blog through the Blog Hop and I'm really glad I did!!
- June 18, 2010 at 9:58 am
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OMG! I am heading STRAIGHT to the pantry now for a morning fix – will salt and vinegar chips work?…I will let you know!
- June 18, 2010 at 9:19 am
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Maybe go with plain chips next time, I can imagine the salt and vinegar might have had something to do with why they tasted so bad!
- June 18, 2010 at 5:42 pm
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Mmmmm….I've never actually tried this combination. I will have to venture out tomorrow morning and get some. However, since you're not over here in the US of A….I found a website for you that offers shipping WITH a cold pack….maybe it'll work?
- June 18, 2010 at 11:51 am
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I think I put on 5kg just looking at those pics! Damn you Lori and your delicious chippies *shakes fat fist angrily*
Previous post: The Big Dream Bucket List
Next post: The Not-An-iPhone Review.
Saying GoodBye To My Gran – RRSAHM
Saying GoodBye To My Gran
If it’s possible for a funeral to be awesome then my Gran’s farewell was, indeed, most entirely awesome.
I spend the morning feeling bizarrely light and unencumbered. Occasionally a little voice reminds me to watch my step, there is funeral today for someone I love dearly. Then another, younger and less jaded voice chimes in, gleeful, to remind me that today is different. This funeral is different.
Today we are not burying my husband. We are not saying goodbye to a young man, a father, a life cut bluntly half way through. No one here is tortured by the million “why’s” that accompany saying goodbye to someone you’ve lost through their own hands, if not their own fault.
This is a joyous occasion, if there is to be one had. This is a funeral that is truly, a celebration of a life well lived. This is an old woman, who has raised her family and done way she wanted to do. She’s had a long, happy, contented life; and she passed away when she was ill enough to wish to, but not so sick and wretched as to beg for it.
This is the way a funeral is meant to be. This is the best of it, the best of burying someone you love. The easiest, most fulfilling, least painful to do so.
This… is… awesome. This is another point of reference for my internal compass, another volume to add to the encyclopedia of human nature I’m amassing inside. This is the circle of life, complete.
I can’t describe how good it feels… it’s like a warming kiss of morning sunshine after months of restful hibernation from the snow.
There is sorrow here, of course, traces and burbles of it, as there has to be– as there is meant to be. But over eighty people arrive at the airy, nondescript chapel, and every one of them remember my grandmother as fondly as I do. The service is short and simple, sweet and soulful, and they play
Annie’s Song into the bittersweet stillness of the warm, humid midday hour. I stop on the drive there to purchase the largest, most lusciously beautiful bunch of cut flowers I can find. For my Gran, who taught me that a bunch of fresh flowers on a kitchen table instantly brightens a room no matter how shabby or untidy.
I listen intently to my mother eulogise for a full five minutes, her voice carrying the highlights of eighty years of living. My mum is strong and articulate and confident and funny, and I’m so proud of her. I know she wanted to do that, to speak the eulogy, and to do it well. For her own mother- for my Gran. And Gran would have been very ver proud of her, too.
 |
| Flowers for my Gran. |
I smile, a tiny, peaceful smile, for most of the service, content to bath in the air of warmth and respect in the room, to remember my maternal grandmother with all the dignity that befit her. She taught me so many things, as a child, growing up slowly under her eyes while my mum and dad worked themselves broke and, in my father’s case, bitter. My gran taught me to knit, to sow and crochet. Everything I know about gardening, growing plants and cutting flowers has come from her. She and I would sit on a lounge that was firm and wide, stocked with cushions in the corners, in the lounge room of her cool, tidy granny flat on the bottom story of our house when I was five, six, seven, eight years old, and probably beyond that, too; and we’d watch midday movies together. Musicals, always musicals; and Judy Garland was our favorite. I knew every word to the score of Meet Me In St Louis (and still do), way before the Sex and the City movie premiered.
As the service finishes the curtains are drawn closed; cloaking the the tiny, almost child sized coffin from view. The day I buried my husband, this was the moment, those horribly finite curtains closing…this was the moment the ground fell in, when the floor became a mortal quicksand that encased my legs and thighs and made walking difficult, turning reality into a half-set quagmire.
This time, this funeral, it’s more a bittersweet, tangible melancholy. I will miss her so much. I am so glad she didn’t suffer. I am so proud of my mum. And I am so, so blissfully joyful my Gran is with ‘her Norm’ again, and this time, I’m sure, for good. “Goodbye, Gran” I whisper in the tiniest of voices. “Thank you. For everything. I love you.”
And then I think– I wish they would oil those f*cking curtains. Almost two years it’s been, since these very same curtains closed over Tony. And the stupid things still creak and shriek and craw as their mechanical mechanism draws them shut.
After the funeral, there’s a wake in a small local club. It’s bland finger food and tea and coffee, laughter and stories and a few more tears. But these are tears that leak from the corner of eyes, slipping down cheeks sheepishly, quickly wiped away or smiled back into the face wrinkles that accompany the simple raptures of small laughter. There are no rivers of tears here, no heaving deluges of sorrow that will wash everyone away. We drink Tia Maria and Coke, we laugh and gossip and reminisce and remember what an awesome woman my Gran really was. (A milliner. I always knew she was a milliner by trade. It it only occurred to me, laying in bed on the night of the funeral… I never asked her to teach me how to make a hat. I’m sure I will regret that, too, for quite some time– it’s a dieing skill that would cost a fortune to obtain, and my own living teacher has gone, taking that eclectic profession with her.)
If funerals can be happy, if they can be peaceful and celebrative and a healing balm… then this one was.
My Gran… she was never a big fan of funerals (is anyone. really…?). But this one… I’m almost positive she would have been happy with it. In fact, had she have been there, she probably would have had a really good time.
***
(Sometimes, I just hate you so much. Realizing that the happiest I’ve been in weeks was the day of my grandmother’s funeral… that was one of those times. You see, the pieces you’ve gone and left of me…?)
Leave a Comment
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
- January 5, 2013 at 4:13 pm
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"She's had a long, happy, contented life; and she passed away when she was ill enough to wish to, but not so sick and wretched as to beg for it."
Possibly one of the most beautiful quotes I've ever read.
Sorry for your loss, Lori.
- December 7, 2012 at 9:20 am
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If your Gran was awesome (and she sounds like she was awesome) then she would have been happy to see you happy, whatever the day. Glad that you and your family got to get together and celebrate her life.
- December 7, 2012 at 8:02 am
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I totally get the peace you felt.
You saw death yesteday as the peaceful ending to a happy life rather than an angry final fuck you that just keeps echoing.
You dont have to be damaged to apreciate the difference and it doesnt make you odd.
- December 6, 2012 at 8:24 pm
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I almost get it. In my own twisted way, how some fucked up things bring happiness and comfort.
Honestly, I am just glad that the day wasn't rough on you. Your Gran wouldn't have wanted it to be. - December 6, 2012 at 7:12 pm
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Glad it went well xxxxx
Previous post: The Variety Santa Fun Run!
Next post: On Death And Blame. And Stop It Already.
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Cheers!
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: RUOK?
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Fuck You Too.
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Jeans and Stuff.
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Jeans and Stuff.
Glamour(not). – RRSAHM
Glamour(not).
Ooh la la, dahlings!!
This blogging thing comes with some very cool gigs sometimes. Why, just yesterday last week a while back now, I went to do an internal promotional video for the awesome people from Kleenex Mums.
You may have seen my last promo video, all about living on Poo Poo Island...? Yes? If you loved it, you can watch even more of it here on YouTube. (As a side note, I adore YouTube. Where else can you find everything from a recording made of the last castrato singing Ava Maria in 1902 to..well… Lori on Poo Poo Island?) Quite sadly, you won’t get to see this last Kleenex Mums video I made. Altogether now- “Awww“. Sadness much? Sorry. It’s an internal promo thing. I know, I know, build you all up like that and then disappoint you. Whatever.
I am overjoyed to report that this video was slightly more glamorous in subject matter than Poo Poo Island. And compared to Poo Poo Island (otherwise known as my pee splattered laundry-slash-bathroom) a slightly much more glamorous location.
An underground studio, in the offices of those crazy awesome McCann people, in the heart of Kings Cross, just across from the infamous Coca Cola sign. (If it’s infamous, why do I need to link to it, you ask? I just like links. Whatever). Serious. With a proper camera, veeeery technical looking video editing computer stuff (imagine the vlogs I could make with that…) and- wait for it….- directors chairs for us to sit on. Really. I know.
I read my lines, in front of the camera, projected onto the big screen. I am warm, I am friendly, I am personable, dammit! I am wearing new clothes. And make up. Real, proper, skin coloured make up, not just a quick slap of eye-stuff. I feel like a total glamour. Except for one little thing….
Skanky, chipped, half eaten acrylic nails.
I, Lori, am a chronic nail biter. And have been since I was… well.. old enough to get my fingernails or toenails in my mouth. Even fake fingernails. As you can clearly see from the pictures, my fakies have gone from skanky….
..to muchly skanky.
I don’t even have a picture of them looking pretty to prove that they did, actually, look really nice for a whole six weeks before I bit them off. Really. I even went and sat for an hour to get the bleeping things infilled twice.
And then decided that hour was far too bigger chunk out of my one Daycare Day (otherwise known as Mummy’s Losing Her Sh*T and Needs a Mental Health Day) and I just couldn’t be arsed anymore.
Shame, shame, shame. Chipped fingernails. As I said back on Sunday, not even chipped fingernail polish. But actual chipped fingernails.
So. There you go. Lori. An almost famous, totally glamorous movie star type person. Not.
Leave a Comment
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
- December 15, 2010 at 10:59 pm
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You must have incredibly strong teeth to bite through those things!
- December 15, 2010 at 8:12 pm
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I had a few weeks of free nails at a beauty clinic near my home. It was horrid. It took two girls about an hour and a half to rough up my nails and attach nice ones to them. Yes they looked great, and I couldn't stop looking at them … but even though they were free, I couldn't find the time every two weeks, and I didn't like the experience enough to keep going. Plus, it wrecked my original nails.
I'm just not a girly girl at all I guess. If fingernails are impossible, I just don't know how women who get pedicures do it. - December 14, 2010 at 1:42 pm
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At least you attempted the nail polish in the first place. I've given up. I've let myself go. x
- December 14, 2010 at 10:58 am
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Yep as Al Tait said, you are just keeping it real Lori. I too want to see the internal video.
- December 14, 2010 at 9:39 am
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Wow it never occurred to me that people with fake nails would actually bite them too. of course.(well, as long as you don't have bits of glitter on your teeth..)
i personally don't bite finger nails. Chewing on dead, hard and horny stuff ? never.
women in my family are traditionally skin biters – to the blood in bad times – and i am keeping the tradition up!
i have to try see your videos when my internet loves me a bit more. - December 14, 2010 at 5:56 am
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I can relate……
I bit my nails from the moment I stopped sucking my thumb. As soon as I gave up chewing my nails, the smoking started. I gave up the fags, and the nail biting resumed.
Oral fixation, much?
- December 14, 2010 at 5:49 am
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OMG, you crack me up. You get fake nails and then bite them off?? LOL. I can't remember the last time I got polish on my hands. Maybe I'll do that in March. And secret underground videos? Sounds intriguing!
- December 13, 2010 at 10:42 pm
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Oh no your poor nails. You definitely need a manicure fast! LOL
- December 13, 2010 at 10:30 pm
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You're just keepin' it real, Lori. Just the way we like it.
- December 13, 2010 at 10:23 pm
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OMG that was YOU on the Poo Poo Island thingie!!
I watched that recently, but before I discovered your blog, and I seriously watched your sections and thought "Thank GOD it's not just me!!" - December 13, 2010 at 9:49 pm
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So now I sort of know someone who is sort of famous. Feels good Lori
- December 13, 2010 at 9:42 pm
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Oooh did you wear the cardi again?
- December 13, 2010 at 9:41 pm
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I've never understood nail-biting. I know it's an uncontrollable urge thingy, like thumb-sucking, but when I think of all the things my fingers do during the course of a day, why would I put them in my mouth? Yes, I do wash my hands after touching grubby things, but still….
Also, just a personal peeve, I don't like blue nail polish. - December 13, 2010 at 9:37 pm
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shit i type so fast that my bloomin fingers missed some keys lol… sorry my bad:-P
- December 13, 2010 at 9:37 pm
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You have always been famous to me
- December 13, 2010 at 9:36 pm
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Ditto on what MMBB said and NO! it doesnt soyund right at all :-p lol… who cares WAHHHHH!!!!!!!!
kepp all the funnys comming lori xxx - December 14, 2010 at 3:05 am
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I have no luck with nail polish; it seems to chip right away, and is way too much work.
- December 13, 2010 at 10:00 pm
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I am the proud owner of 20 polished digits today thans to the kind folk at Manhattan Nails Crows Nest. Shame about the rest of me.
Well Done Lors – will we soon see you with Angelina at the Oscars? (ps v v brave but you are a natural on camera)
- December 13, 2010 at 9:32 pm
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Naww, I want to see the internal video! (omg that doesn't sound right)
Previous post: What’s Inside the Crappy Xmas Present?
Next post: Guest Post- A Bottle of Vodka For the Swimming Teacher?
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: The House That Love Built.
A Thousand Words – RRSAHM
A Thousand Words
Please don’t underestimate the intrinsic, irreplaceable value of family photographs. And I tell you this from heart breaking experience.
One of the only photos I have of all four of us, my whole family together, is this one here– and I’ve Photoshopped it to within an inch of it’s pixelated life, because it wasn’t a great picture to begin with.
You know how it is, I’m sure– you’re always behind the lens of the camera; and if you’re not, your husband is. And you have all the time in the world– you don’t need to get a professional shoot done now, not just yet, not until your youngest grows out of that baby phase and looks a bit more like herself…
And then your husband dies, or God forbid you lose one of your children, or maybe they lose you… and you curse yourself for not investing the time and money in something so ridiculously simple that has so much lifelong potential.
When Kirsten, one of my readers, offered to immortalize the new shape of my family– just the three of us– I couldn’t say no. I’ll confess my anxiety peaked at the thought of trying to control my two little darlings while they run absolutely feral (“Chop!! Do not strangle your sister!! Bump– put that studio umbrella down, now!!!”), I still couldn’t say no… because I know, now, exactly how much I may regret that choice later.
I needn’t have worried so much. My kids did run absolutely feral, as per their usual dispositions. And rather than curbing that, Kirstin worked with it. Knowing that we spend a lot of time in our garden, that’s where she led us; and then she let us do our thing. We checked on our chooks, played and chatted, patted our cats, had a tea party in our fairy garden.
The story of on our days, just an average day, what we do every day. A story of a mum an two kids and their lush green backyard, captured in frame after frame of unique photos that don’t feel posed or forced…. because they’re not. Kirsten specialises in telling stories and making whole families comfortable– as you can see, she manages to photograph the very essence of human relationships, without leaving the slightest ripple on their usual balance- you tend to forget she’s there as she snaps away, and- as you can see- you end up having fun.
I love these shots. They’re backed up on my PC, Cloud and external hard drive, and the CD is stored in the box–of–things–to–grab–in–case–of–fire; so we don’t need to worry about the Internet eating them. And I’ve added a liberal amount of op–shopped frames to the already overstocked walls of my TinyTrainHouse.
I know it’s strange, difficult to understand, but this feels like proof in full colour– proof that we are surviving, rebuilding, that you can’t spot that big hole my husband left… because we’re filling it with ourselves all the time.
In honor of family photos being one of those that are so important but not a priority when really, there’s grocery shopping and daycare and blogging to think about; Kirsten Cox Photography is giving away one family, kids or newborn photo shoot, plus ten 5 x7.5 prints from the session; to one lucky RSSAHM reader. Based in Byron, Kirstin visits Sydney every three months to do photo shoots. she focuses on telling a story and capturing natural moments; rather than posed, stiff, uncomfortable studio shots.
Due to obvious geographical constraints, the t’s and c’s here a little different than usual– look sharp.
To enter, upload your favorite picture– of you, your kids, your dog, a tree, whatever– to the RRSAHM FaceBook page, then leave a comment on this post saying you’ve done so, with a valid email address attached.
Entry is open to Australian residents who live within the Sydney, Northern Rivers or Brisbane regions. If you are outside these reasons but would like to win the package for a friend who resides within these areas, feel free to enter.
Kirsten will be given the winners details and contact will be between the winner and the photographer from that point. The shoot must be arranged within six months of winning the prize.
The photo on the FB page that amazes, amuses, bemuses or confuses me most wins. My decision is final and no discussion will be entered into.
Opens Friday 22nd June and closes midnight AEST Friday 6th July.
The winner will be announced via RRSAHM’s FaceBook page and Twitter feed, and probably in the newsletter as well. Winners will be emailed and have 48 hours to respond to that email with their postal address, or the prize will be redrawn.
Leave a Comment
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
- July 5, 2012 at 9:29 am
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These photos are just gorgeous Lori, I'm really happy for you that you have them.
The last time my little family of three had a decent photo taken together was the day Max was born (2.5 years ago). With another one on the way I think its time we got some more taken!
Thanks for giving me the push I needed to get some organised
- June 29, 2012 at 6:02 pm
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These photos are so amazing, Lori. I held my breath looking at them.
There are two photos that I know of, of my family of five before we became a family of four when my sister died. A nurse took them at a doctor's office, knowing what might just be around the corner. They're not lovely photos, my poor mother looks exhausted and my sister looks like a skeleton… but they are lovely to us and are treasured. - June 29, 2012 at 5:32 pm
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I get it Lori. I so "get" this. As I went through my photos looking for photos of my Dad after he passed unexpectedly I cried and cried and cried because I could not find recent photos of my dad with my younger sister or brother. He friend wanted to make her a scrapbook for her birthday and I could only offer pics that were 15-29 years old. I felt horrible
- June 29, 2012 at 10:48 am
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Just uploaded mine
- June 29, 2012 at 7:14 am
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You have just inspired me to find a photo voucher we were given when we bought our house and book in a time to use the dang thing! Great photos too!
- June 29, 2012 at 7:13 am
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Have posted a photo. I'm moving to Brisbane in the next three months. I have so few photos of me and my kids together.
Love the photos of you and your babes. They are gorgeous.
- June 29, 2012 at 6:36 am
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Hi Lori, just wanted to say how beautiful your photo's are. I LOVE photo's, and I know the importance behind them. My brother passed away aged just 12, and because I was just 4 at the time, I have no recollection of him. But I have photo's with him, and it shows me, that yes, I had some beautiful moments with him. Thankyou for sharing, it is a beautiful post. xxx
- June 29, 2012 at 3:33 am
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That last photograph of you and your daughter is just perfect. There is absolutely nothing missing in the essence of your relationship with your children, I can just tell from these pictures. Enjoy them, they're beautiful!
- June 28, 2012 at 10:11 pm
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Entered. This was hard. I have so many beautiful pictures of my kids that I cannot share, obviously, but I like that it gets me thinking about lots of other things around us because I can't share them. Simple things, like a tree and it's colours in Autumn, that may not exist in 50 or 100 years. Things that aren't often recorded.
- June 28, 2012 at 9:24 pm
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Thanks for the opportunity to enter your competition.
- June 28, 2012 at 9:09 pm
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Beautiful, beautiful. So wonderful to see you smile.
- June 28, 2012 at 9:07 pm
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Lori ~ These photos are just divine! your smile ,your kids smiles just beautiful
xxxx - June 28, 2012 at 8:00 pm
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Gorgeous photos, Lori. All your smiles are truly magical. x
- June 28, 2012 at 4:03 pm
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Have popped a photo up there – we're in Darwin but I'm entering for my friend who lives in Brissy with her hubster and 2 girls. I think this would be awesome for them
- June 28, 2012 at 1:48 pm
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Gorgeous photos Lori. It's lovely to see the three of you smiling and just enjoying each other. I think 'filling the hole' is perfectly natural, normal and good. And it goes hand in hand with healing. x
Great comp too. I haven't had professional photos taken of my kids since they were small so I'll be entering!
- June 28, 2012 at 1:23 pm
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Love your post!
I am posting a fave to your FB page!
We are moving from St. Louis to Brisbane this month! - June 28, 2012 at 10:59 pm
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So beautiful…. The pictures are both real and magical. Loved seeing them.
Thanks so much for sharing
Denyse xx - June 28, 2012 at 11:21 am
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Can I post a few.. I can't pic a favourite!! Sorry.. I may have posted 3 and mentioned another :-). But one is a favourite one with me and hubby (the mentioned one) one is a favourite one of a tree, one is a favourite one of my family, and one is my absolute favourite of our family dog
the funny thing is that they're all (well the ones I posted) taken on my andriod phone, it just seems to be the only thing available when I want to take something!
- June 28, 2012 at 10:23 am
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I totally get it. We just had a photo shoot done in November, the only time all 6 of us have been in a photo together. No one was crying, everyone was looking at the camera, and smiling. AMAZING!
I just did a post on our Darkest Days, when son number 3 almost died. I have put up alot of photos, even though they bring back so many memories and it was awful taking some of them. But I wanted them, whatever the outcome we would want photos, not at the time, when it was all fresh and painful, but now, 3 years later I am really glad we did take them.
- June 28, 2012 at 8:52 am
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Photo posted. I love these photos of you and the kidlets! Just gorgeous!
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Another New House In Paradise….
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Falling Into Place
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Soul Cancer.
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: Food on the Un-Foodie Blog.
Random Ramblings of a SAHM: RUOK- Part Two.
Coward – RRSAHM
Coward
About ten years ago now, I had to have a cat I loved dearly euthanized. Her name was Tigger. She’d been bought for me when I was sixteen years old and struggling with the concept of anyone ever loving me. This tiny stripy kitten did love me, and as she grew she came with me from house to house to flat- shoved down the front of my zip-up hoodie during one memorable move, she slept comfortably while I walked for kilometers.
I was probably twenty three, maybe twenty four, when Tigger went missing from the flat I lived in. She had been gone three weeks when, one cloudy afternoon, she dragged herself home; back legs limp, stinking of puss and vomit. My boyfriend and I piled her into his car, wrapped carefully in an old towel, and I cried hot tears over her as she feebly purred. We drove to the surgery of a vet who was renowned for his caring, compassionate manner… and staying open until seven pm on a weeknight.
There was nothing this lovely animal doctor could do for Tigger. It looked as though her kidneys were failing, he said, but at only eight years old he was suspicious she may have been baited and poisoned.
“You can stay, if you like,” said the vet, eyes full of compassion for a silly young woman who knows nothing of heartbreak yet, unable to stop sobbing over her cat; “she’s almost comatose, she won’t react to the shot.”
Of course I stayed, patted her head and whispered soft words of reassurance, tears flowing as I apologised to my pet, saying how very sorry I was that I couldn’t fix her, couldn’t save her. I stayed right up until she did react to that shot the vet said she’d barely notice. Her body convulsed and tensed, legs stuck out straight and thin like rods of dowel. She threw her head back and screamed, if cats can scream… a deep guttural yowl that I heard in every silent pause for weeks afterwards.
Her yellow eyes locked on mine and I turned and ran, leaving her to die in the care of my boyfriend.
I couldn’t stop sobbing. “I’m so sorry,” said the vet, and he so genuinely was, “I had no idea that would happen… I was sure she’d go quietly.”
I wanted to explain, to stop my tears for long enough to tell him that it wasn’t him, it wasn’t his fault, he had done his job perfectly… I had not. It was me who had failed here. There had been something vulnerable who loved me, laying on a metal table pleading me with its eyes for help…
And I ran away. A tiny, grown up voice in my mind told me that I only fled because I could– my boyfriend had been there, too. A larger voice trampled out that first one, chanting “Coward, coward, coward…” and replaying that awful, agonizing cat–scream.
It tormented me for years, kicking great chunks out of an already chalky self esteem. It was exasperated when I terminated a pregnancy… and again, of course, when I ran, screaming for help, my daughter in my arms and my husband hanging from his neck in my backyard.
It’s taken me until now, I think, to forgive myself for that. For all of it. Especially the cat. For allowing something that meant so much to me die without me there. Or for being too scared to stand up and say no when I should have.
Or for running for help, when I had a tiny baby in my arms.
And for walking away, saying goodbye to a body that was growing cold but was still hours away from harvest; and knowing he’d be OK with that, because it just hurt too much to stay.
Because nineteen months after everything I knew about the world changed and I had to remake all my decisions from scratch… I’m still here. It’s just me, and my kids, and that’s all we need, really… we get along just fine.
And I haven’t run away. I’m still here, every day. Not even because there is no one else do it– if push came to “Lori’s really lost it this time…”, there would just have to be enough relatives around to pick up the slack. If I really lost it, they’d just have to.
I’m here just because this is where I belong. Because I love my kids like crazy.
Because, as long as there here too, I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.
Leave a Comment
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
- August 19, 2012 at 7:58 pm
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With my last baby I had antenatal depression, and two days before she was born, when is as five days overdue, my dog bit my 2 year old son right near his eye. It wasn't the first time she had done it, but it was the first time she had touched the kids.
The day before Ava was born I took her to the vet to be euthanized. It was the best thing for our family; i could hardly have a vicious dog around with a newborn and three others.
But I still can't think of that day without feeling guilty, and hurt. So angry that when I had so much going on, I had to hand my scared, shaking puppy over to a vet, adm say good bye for ever.
For the rest of our lives our daughters birthday is haunted by the day I killed my dog. It was the right thing, but still, the awful thing.Sometimes, it's almost harder when it's an animal.
Big hugs Lori. Xxx - August 18, 2012 at 10:37 pm
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You are not a coward.
To have seen what you've seen, to go through what you've gone through, anyone who dared to call you a coward – with the exception of your own self – would be deserving of a punch in the head.
We went to the vet with my beloved cat. He was 21 years old. He was an Easter Present for me when I was 3 years old. He knew it was his time, and his eyes told me he was okay. He was ready.
I was there when he was injected, but I wasn't.
I ran.
My body stayed, but I'd long left the room.
You are not a coward.
Not at all xo - August 17, 2012 at 1:51 am
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My eyes welled with tears reading this.
Gill - August 16, 2012 at 11:18 pm
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big hugs babe you are amazing strong and corageous xxxx
- August 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm
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I'm sitting here with my fingers on the keyboard – totally clueless as to what to say. What a horrible experience for you and Tigger.
I'm so happy to hear that you're learning to forgive yourself. I think it's the hardest thing to do. - August 16, 2012 at 8:11 pm
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Lori, I … I am sorry for Tigger. For you. But I'm not sorry for your wonderful babies, who are learning from you the most important lessons – to keep going.
- August 16, 2012 at 12:41 pm
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You made me "Awwwwww"
- August 16, 2012 at 12:28 pm
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Oh man, this just brought back so many awful memories from when I stayed while my beloved kitty was put to sleep. I expected it to be rough but with the vets assurances of 'she won't feel a thing' I had no idea how bad it would be. That scream, the tense muscles, pained look on her face. Far out.
- August 16, 2012 at 12:19 pm
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Wow Lori, this is gorgeous. The sentiment, the honesty and the breathtaking writing. Gorgeous, gorgeous post. x
- August 16, 2012 at 11:16 am
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I've read so many of your posts Lori, and this one for me, is right up there as one of my favourites.
Woahmolly is totally right. It was beautiful and tragic at the same time. You're an amazing writer Lori.
- August 16, 2012 at 9:13 am
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Love you and your honesty babe xxx
- August 16, 2012 at 8:52 am
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We are always the hardest on ourselves and usually the last person we can forgive is ourselves. But we have to, otherwise it's too hard…
This was beautiful and tragic and I'm really glad to have read it, even though it made my eyes all prickly and my heart ache. I love being moved by your words, Lori. And I always am.
Previous post: “We Want To Be Heroes…”
Next post: The Little Lady of The House
{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }
Good for you, Lori. It seems the right time to make a change. x
It's making me hungry. I ate some jelly beans early tonight and could totally go for some more.
It looks great! Been thinking a lot about you these days. Stay strong. You are still an inspiration. Hugs.
Are these jellybeans in 3D?
Looks like I could just pick them up & eat them…!
nom nom nom!
Love it!
LOVE it!
Thinking of you.
xox
LOVE it!
Thinking of you.
xox
Hey, Lori.
Love the new look of the site.
Thinking of you and your family today. Take care, hope you find something to make you smile.
Love it!
Hope you're doing ok lovely lady!
Renee xo
Lovely new design! I only discovered the old site on the 2nd of Jan but have read the last year's posts. You have been in my thoughts all day today. May 2012 bring you and your babies some peace, prosperity, health and happiness! xxx ooo
Love it!
Happy New Year, Lori!
XOXO
Thinking of you three today, and sending love your way.
Lots and lots of jellybeans to satisfy all your blogger friends hungry appetites. Sending love XOX
Love it! Fabulous blasts of bright colors!
Looks great Lori nice and bright, thinking of you and your family today as I have been many times this last year. Wishing you peace and more brightness in your life in 2012
Thinking of you guys today.
Loving this new look, fresh and feisty for 2012!
Great new look
Love it
Looking fabulous, Lori!
PS. As I posted before, I'm thinking of you today. Take care. xx
Sending you, Chop and Bump hugs and kisses as hard as I can. xxxx
You need to be sponsored by Jelly Belly, coz that's all I can think of now! Nom nom nom. By the handful if you don't mind!
Pregnancy induced insomnia had me up at 3am so it was ready to go by 4.15!!
Looks fab!! I checked here at 6 am this morning because I knew this was the day for the blog makeover. I love the colours and design
Thinking of you today xx
Looks great! Thinking of you today.
Kim
I am loving it!
Sending lots of love to you today. You've been in my thoughts a lot lately xxx
Fabulous. And not a moment too soon. All in its right time. xxxxx
Beautiful. I love it.
Thinking of you, Chop and Bump today.
It's looking a bit more bright. It's good to have a change every now and again, and you're right, what better time to have one.
I like it, love the jelly beans and the colour and layout. I will be sending positive thoughts your way today and wish you the best for 2012.
Love it, so cool! It's great to have some new diggs, thinking of you today ♥
I like it a whole lot!
Thinking of you and sending you love…
Fine
Looks great Lori! I love the faces on the jellybeans in the header. One for every occasion!
It's definitely a positive change, for today. Go you!
It looks great! The ads fit in a lot more comfortably and the jellybeans look almost as good as Willy Wonka's lickable wallpaper
I think it's a very fitting way to focus your energy today and over the coming weeks. Good luck with all of it. @yorkhannah x
yes I like it. was a bit worried it was going to be a long loader but the mobile version looks great too and loads quickly.
That green bean to the left is a lovely colour!
well done. x
Looks very cool!
It looks awesome! Thinking about you today and wearing my purple wrist band in memory xx
Love it! Love it! (and thinking of you today x)
It feels like a celebration….one year on and life can still be good. Well done
Am I allowed to say it looks fabulous or is that biased?!
Lookin' good chook, it suits you so well
Thinking about tou all day today.
Thinking about tou all day today.
I LOVE IT!!!! It's fresh & new & exciting! All the things this year will be for you, Bump, Chop & Mr Tree! Gotta say I'm rather partial to the red/tangerine coloured jellybean ;)Love & hugs sweetheart xxoo
I like it.
I'm glad you changed it. But I'm so sad that you had to.
xx
AMAZEBALLS!
Sares got it in one – Suits you perfectly!
Thinking of you today x
Love it!!!
xxx
Reminds me of Suger's old blog, which I loved! Very cool!